by Liv Bennett
When the nurse ushers the baby away to clean him up and measure him, Zane hovers over me to give me a big bear-hug. Wiping the sweat and tears off my face, he starts kissing every inch of my cheeks and forehead. “I’m so proud of you. I had no idea it’d be so painful.”
One look at his eyes, and I remember the deep feeling of loneliness and hurt of seeing him with his assistant and burst into a new wave of tears. “Are you cheating on me?” I ask, my sobs capable of competing with my child’s cries when it comes to loudness.
“What?” He jolts up above me and stares at me with a look of disbelief and anger.
The doctor brings our baby right then, before I can clarify my question, before he can explain himself. Holding my baby in my arms, pressing him against the naked skin of my chest, makes me forget about all the pain that led up to this miraculous union.
“Hello, handsome!” I kiss his forehead, amazed at how soft he feels.
Once alone in my private room on the maternity ward, Zane scoots next to me on the bed and gathers my hands between his. “Was the question you asked earlier serious?”
Ashamed, I glance down at our baby sleeping soundly in the bassinette next to my bed. “What are we going to name him?”
“Julie,” he says, a hint of anger in the deep tone of his voice.
“I don’t think he should be named after me.” I try to smile, unable to find the courage to talk about my insecurities right now. I’m too exhausted to do anything but just drink in the beauty of my son.
“Okay, you don’t want to talk? I understand that. You must be exhausted. But, believe me when I say, there’s no one, no other woman beside you in my life.”
The birth of our son may be affecting his thoughts or, in the best case, making him put things in perspective. But, if he indeed had an affair with Evelyn, or another woman for that matter, while with me, I’m not sure if I can remain married to him.
Despite my exhaustion bordering on insanity, I tear my eyes away from my boy and look at the man who promised me the earth and the moon and his unwavering loyalty. “You and Evelyn…You looked like a couple at the premiere. You didn’t take my calls the entire day while you were gone ‘playing golf’ with her.” I use quota marks and widen my eyes for effect.
“Oh, that? No, baby. There was no golf.”
“I don’t doubt it,” I snap.
His full-tooth grin grates on my nerves. “You’re adorable when you get angry, but there’s really nothing going on between Evelyn and me. Actually, I hadn’t seen her up until the premiere. I’d bumped into Bob Brazen, the head of Brazen-Cole Industries. You know how he and I had been trying to set up a meeting forever and never could find a slot in our busy schedules. He happened to be at the same golf course as I was. Instead of playing golf, we sat down and discussed their commercial portfolio. I finally have him on board as Frat House’s primary sponsor for the next season.”
I search his face to find out if he’s being honest. Having known him for nearly seventeen years has made me quite the expert at detecting if he’s lying or not. He’d usually touch his nose, scratch his forehead, or generally do something with his hands.
Right now, though, his hands are holding mine, and his eyes are locked on mine in a steady gaze. It’s hard to tell. My brain is shouting at me that he’s trying to manipulate me, but my heart has already melted into a puddle of goo. “Why didn’t you call me or text me at least?”
“The phone’s battery died and because Bob and I got caught up in a heated discussion, I didn’t even realize how late it had gotten until Evelyn dragged me out of the meeting to make it on time for the premiere.”
My anger flares at the mentioning of her name, and Zane chuckles, likely noticing my reaction. He shakes his head playfully. “I don’t have a single inclination to chase other women. I swear I don’t even check them out anymore. They don’t exist for me. You’re the only woman in this entire universe who has my full attention and desire. I wish you’d believe me when I say I’m permanently done with other women.”
“Somebody is reading too much romance.” I relax my hands in his and take a long, deep breath I’ve been needing since the morning.
“I don’t need romance books when I have you.” He leans toward my face, his eyes darting up and down between my eyes and lips. When I smile, he brushes his lips across mine, kissing me gently.
My entire body relaxes in a way that eases away much of the exhaustion of the birth and the stress of the day. Love can make or break a person. At this moment in his arms, lost in a beautiful kiss, I feel I have the strength to turn the earth upside down as long as I have my husband and kids with me.
He pulls away from me, chuckling at my little noises of protest. “Besides, you’ll find out Evelyn is a cool girl. She’s had to deal with some pretty fucked-up situations herself.”
I roll my eyes at the mentioning of his dear assistant once again.
“And…” He doesn’t seem to get my message. “She has two husbands, well one is official, the other is not. And one kid from each husband.”
In complete shock, my eyebrows lift way, way up on my forehead. I wasn’t delusional about her great looks. When we, the mediocre-looking mortals, have to work hard to be able to lock down one good-man, she’s got two. I have a feeling, both of her husbands are gorgeous. No wonder there’s a shortage of good attractive men, when women like Evelyn can call two her husband. “I don’t care how many husbands she has as long as she leaves my husband alone.”
“Doesn’t matter what she does. You’re the queen of my heart and I only have eyes for you.”
CH 30 - JULIE
~
After long hours of discussion, we name our son Andrew Zane Hawkins. Apparently, Zane likes the sound of his name. Well, so do I.
Adapting to the new chapter of my life as a mother quite easily makes it to the list of the three biggest challenges of my life, if not the top one. Although I generally consider myself a strong woman, I have to admit, the sleep schedule, feeding and changing diapers aren’t for the faint of heart.
But worst of all, I miss my husband…my playful and very sexual husband. He’s taken time off from work to be with us. And, he’s with us all the time, bathing our sons, changing their diapers, rocking them to sleep, helping out every way possible so I can get my sleep and my long-needed showers. However, being close to him without the intimacy I’ve enjoyed regularly, not giving him what he clearly needs, has become a different kind of pain.
Whenever he can, he gropes me, my breasts and butt mostly, and he cuddles me in bed, leaving me no doubt about his desire for me. But thankfully, he never pressures me into having sex, not even for a blow job. He knows I need time to recover and I love him all the more for his self-control.
When I return to bed between night feedings, I feel his cock hard beneath the thin bedsheets. Rather than falling back into my desperately needed sleep, I lean back on the pile of pillows to enjoy the sight of my hunk of a husband in the dimly lit room, checking myself to see if I’m ready to become physical with him again.
Already three weeks into becoming a mother, the first tingles of sexual desire start bubbling up inside me, especially when Zane looks at me with his irresistible bedroom eyes as if I’m Aphrodite from mythology. My self-esteem surges more and more with the weight I lose every passing day and the feeling of healing all throughout my body.
At six o’clock sharp, Andrew wakes with an angry cry for his morning feeding. My eyes only half open, I grab him off his bed and slip my engorged breast out of my nightgown to pop it into his mouth. While he’s happily drinking and sleeping, I look over at Zane who’s rolling to my side with a tired grin on his lips.
“Is it already morning?” He yawns and rubs his puffy eyes.
My hand instinctively reaches for his tousled hair and runs through the thick strands to slick them back from his forehead. “It’s only six. Why don’t you sleep some more?” Gradually, my hand moves down his face, my fingers brushing his cheek
s, the side of his neck, the bulging muscles of his arms. Heat spreads from my core to the surface of my body as he gazes at my naked breast while our son suckles on its nipple.
“I love me some breakfast, too.” He winks and reaches up to stroke the top of my breasts, his soft touch giving my heart an unexpected throb. Shifting his body up to rest on his elbow, he moves closer to me and brushes the side of my neck with his lips. Then he stops, his hot breath an irresistible tickle on my skin.
I moan, incapable of controlling myself despite holding our baby in my arms. My eyes close, my body slowly heating up. I feel Zane’s hand touching my shoulder, his finger tugging on the strap of my nightgown, easing it down my arm until my other breast is fully exposed. His tongue slides out, tasting my skin with lingering licks, his lips circling on my neck, sucking it seductively.
His hand moves down my chest and caresses my breast up and down softly. His thumb slides over my nipple, pinching it with his fingers until I let out another moan.
“Oh, baby.” His teeth scrape my tender skin, the memories of them teasing my clit slowly emerging from my subconscious. He lowers his head inch by inch, his tongue licking my skin all the way from my neck down to my nipple.
“Zane,” I mumble his name, desperately wanting him to know how much I desire him, too.
“I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have.” He yanks his hand and lips back all too suddenly and rolls to the edge of the bed, jumping up and leaving me gaping at his abrupt departure.
“I didn’t—”
He disappears into the bathroom before I can explain how I didn’t mean to stop him. Just the contrary actually. Andrew’s shrill cry nearly drowns out the sound of the shower spray. I climb off the bed and lay him on the changing table to put on a fresh diaper. Once clean, he falls asleep quickly, and I put him back in his bed.
The water is the shower is still running nearly fifteen minutes after Zane’s departure and I can guess why he’s taking such a long time. With my heart racing, I tiptoe to the bathroom, peeking before stepping in.
The steam is covering the mirror and the sliding doors of the shower, but through the foggy glass, I can see Zane’s hand clutching his thick erection. My heart throbs.
“Oh, fuck,” he groans, his breathing shallow, and places his other hand on the wall before him, his head ducked down against his chest. His palm slides effortlessly up and down along his long shaft, his hips moving in rhythm. The raw need obvious in each move of his powerful body stirs up a jolt of desire in my belly.
I push down the straps of my gown, and slide out of it, along with my panties, and stand in the middle of the bathroom fully naked. As my feet move toward the shower, I feel tendrils of fear spreading over my heart as Zane’s moves become urgent and wild. Can I handle him when he’s his most animalistic self? What if he can’t restrain himself and hurts me in the throes of passion?
Before I can decide, he stops, probably sensing my presence, and slides open the shower door. Droplets of water roll down his face and body as his eyes, dark and forceful, flicker down my exposed curves. My nipples harden painfully at the intense desire burning in his irises.
My eyes drop to the rough muscles of his stomach, trailing down to his beautiful erection. It’s red and rigid from the heat of the shower and his manual ministrations and looks ready to fuck anything in its way. My heart skips a beat, as I remember the last time I felt it plunging into me with punishing strokes, deeper and deeper, stretching me out beyond my limits.
“What are you doing here?” His voice is harsh and menacing, his stare still lustful.
I should ask him the same question. Without answering him, I get into the shower, my eyes locked on his as I stand close to him. Hot water sprinkles down on me, washing away the sweat and awakening my inner desire with each drop.
He looks hesitant when he moves his hands over my breasts, rolling my nipples between his fingers. My hands automatically find his cock, one clutching his shaft, the other cupping his balls.
“Easy!” He lets out a loud hiss, growling through his breathing.
The feeling of the thick vein throbbing against my skin has me squeezing my thighs to soothe my own throb deep in my sex. Why didn’t I do this before…at least to touch him…feel his desire pulsate in my hands?
As soon as I tighten my hold around his shaft and start rubbing it, his hands grip my hips and push me against the wall. His lips crash down on mine and his tongue pushes into my mouth. I moan as I start sucking his tongue, almost having forgotten the feel of him exploring the depths of my mouth. God, I’m so mad at myself for having let so many days go by without even kissing him passionately.
He bucks his hips against my body, his cock sliding in and out of the hold of my hands. “I want to feel you. I want to feel your mouth all over me again.”
The same desire flares inside me. The long-forgotten feeling of his cock nearly gagging me has already turned in a full-fledged craving. He covers my hands with his to stop my rough massage on his cock, possibly to control his erection. His eyes burn with consuming flames of desire as they stare at me, right through my soul.
I lower my body until I’m on my knees, seeing the desperate need stir in his irises. Positioning his hands against the wall, he looks down at me, seemingly not wanting to miss a single second while I brush my lips over the swollen head of his cock, my hands flat on his thighs.
“Do you really want it?” he asks, as if the feeling of my husband’s thick cock isn’t a turn on for me.
To answer him, I open my mouth and let his cock slide into my mouth ‘til it hits the back of my throat. I gag a little, as expected, but that doesn’t deter me.
“Jesus!” he yells, not caring about the high volume of his voice.
I move up and let his cock out of my mouth only to lick down the thick vein pulsing along his shaft. When I look up to smile at him, he responds to me with an angry grunt. He’s way too gone to enjoy any sort of teasing. The need obvious in his eyes, in the tense way his body stands above me, has me moaning on the spot, and I quickly mouth his cock again, holding the rest of his shaft with my hand.
Soon, we fall into a slow yet steady rhythm where he thrusts into my mouth with cautious moves and I suck him feverishly, our bodies in harmony and lost in the sensation of each other.
“I’m gonna come soon,” he slurs the words out and I moan all over his cock.
He’ll find his release while I remain on the verge of climax, but never reaching it without the stimulation of his cock. I’m still spotting after Andrew’s birth, so Zane can’t use his mouth on me. He can use his fingers, but if I’m going to have something inside me, I’d rather have his cock.
Slipping his cock out of my mouth, I glance up at him. “Not yet!” Quickly, I push to my feet and turn around, bending forward. “Fuck me.”
“No, you’re not ready yet. The doctor said—”
I push my ass up against his cock to cut him off, splaying my hands against the wall for balance. “I know what the doctor said. I feel ready. I need you. Please. I’m dying here.”
He grips my hips tentatively and when I look over my shoulder, I see hesitation clear on his face.
“I’ll let you know if it hurts. I promise.”
He doesn’t budge, so I sneak my hand back to grip his cock and guide it toward my entrance.
“Baby, are you sure?”
“Yeah!” I gasp, panting, desire thicker in my blood with each passing second he’s not plunging into me. I spread my legs wider to lure him in and give him better access. “Please, Zane, I need it. Do it. Fuck me!”
“God, Julie!” He finally does it. He slides his cock between the lips of my sex with great caution, easing into me inch by inch, pausing on his way to check that I’m all right. His thick cock inside me feels much better than I’d expected, mostly because of my heightened desire for him.
Once he’s fully inside of me, we both let out loud breaths. He pulls out and thrusts back in, this time without any pause. Each new str
oke after that is faster and rougher and pushes me closer to the point of no return. Our moans mix with the sound of water splashing all around our bodies as our hips rock against each other.
It doesn’t take long before pleasure builds up, reaching to a peak. “I’m close…”
His hand sneaks beneath my body, roaming over my breasts. He takes his time to pinch my nipples and squeeze my breasts one at a time before moving his hand down between my legs, where my clit is throbbing with need. He must have noticed that just a small pressure of his thumb, a gentle swirl, is enough to set off my orgasm; that must be why he’s massaging my mound but not where I need him.
I feel his body close over me, his lips brushing the area between my shoulder blades.
“Zane,” I moan softly, as the need to come slowly pushes me toward delirium. Finally, his fingers find my clit, and as soon as they start rubbing me, my first climax post-partum rolls through me like an earthquake, spreading from my clit into the depths of my core.
“Yeah, baby, just like that. Come all over my cock.” He keeps pounding into me, fucking me with steady strokes until he explodes with his own climax, and holds my shaking body tightly through the wild waves of our orgasm.
When he slides out of me, his load trickles down my thighs along with the water droplets. I can already feel the soreness coming, but right now my sex vibrates with soothing aftereffects of our long-awaited union.
He turns off the water and pulls me into his arms for a wet kiss. As our lips mesh together in the silence without water, the muffled sound of a baby cry jolts us both. After quickly slipping into bathrobes, we rush back to the bedroom to find Andrew all red with tears on his face and Preston on his feet and holding onto the bars of Andrew’s crib.
How the hell could he manage to get out of his own crib?
As Zane hurries to change Andrew’s diaper, I scoop Preston up in my arms. “Not even ten months and already a rebel?” I comment and steal a kiss from his chubby cheek.