by Cosette Hale
“We’re going zip-lining today,” Harvey announced.
My head shot up. “What?!” I exclaimed.
“Oh, yeah,” is all he said.
“No way. I don’t like heights or roller coasters,” I confessed, though it wasn’t much of a confession that I was pretty much a chicken about a lot of things.
“That’s fine, this isn’t a roller coaster. And you can close your eyes so you don’t see how high we are.”
“That makes no sense,” I said, sitting up. He was still laying down, staring at the ceiling.
“I’m going zip-lining, and you have to come along.”
“You can’t make me.”
“You’ll come,” he said.
“I won’t,” I said firmly.
Two hours later, I was on a bus full of zip lining enthusiasts, each more excited than the next, and I was ready to piss in my pants.
“I can’t,” I said for the 100th time.
“If you can’t then you can’t, but I want you to at least see what you’ll be missing.”
I saw it, alright. They strapped us with helmets and pads, and we signed our lives away with the waivers. I could see people disappearing one by one from the edge of the platform. Some, mostly the women, screamed. I wasn’t sure why I’d even agreed to come this far. My money was wasted on something I would not do. I went up to the platform, watching Harvey’s eyes glaze over in excitement. Soon it was our turn, and Harvey looked at me. I shook my head, my eyes almost tearing up.
“I’d hold your hand through it if I could,” he said, reaching for it now. His touch singed me. It was pure fire, and those feelings I’d tried to push away the night before came back to me.
“OK,” I said, riding the high.
“OK?” he asked, as if to make sure. His face broke out into a smile, and I melted. Honestly, I melted.
“Let’s do this!” I said, trying to psych myself. Harvey patted me on the back as I was strapped onto the line.
“See you on the other side,” he said. I took one last look at him, gathering all of my courage, and then I was off the platform.
I screamed— oh boy, did I scream. But I was taking in everything around me, too. The screaming stopped, and I let the downward sensation take over. It was exhilarating, gliding through the trees, peeking out over to the bay every time there was a long stretch of space without cover. It was so gorgeous I even laughed. The stop at the end wasn’t as graceful as I would have liked, but I was thanking the heavens I was alive as they unhooked me at the platform. My legs were shaking like jelly, but I managed to move off to the side so I could make way for Harvey. He gave a big whoop as he drew near, and he landed much more firmly than I had.
“That’s what I’m talking about!” he yelled as the worker unstrapped him. He came over and put his arm around me, giving me a little squeeze.
“I was terrified,” I said, the adrenaline still pumping through my veins.
“That makes it all the more thrilling and makes you all the more brave. I’m proud of you. Now let’s go to the next one,” he said, pulling me along.
“Wait, there’s more?” I asked, stopping short.
“Of course. There are like 5 more,” he said, looking at me worried.
I looked into his eyes far longer than I ever had, much longer than was certainly appropriate, but he didn’t break eye contact either. I smiled and looked down.
“Fine, let’s go,” I said, hoping I wouldn’t regret it.
It was great fun, the entire zip lining experience, but I noticed that I was getting sore towards the end. Poor Harvey was feeling it more than me, and we were downright bushed by the time we got back to the hotel. We ate on the terrace and relaxed by the pool. And by relaxed I mean we passed out. I’m just glad we were in a shady spot because I’m sure we slept for an hour.
The pool was one of those infinity pools that looked out onto the ocean, and when I woke up, I stood there for a long time watching the waves hit the cliffs off to the side of our hotel. I was standing there on the pool’s edge admiring the view when Harvey popped up next to me with a drink in each hand.
“Here, a virgin something or other. I told the bartender to give me the fruitiest non-alcoholic thing he could make.” I laughed, thanking him for my drink. We stood there, watching as the sun neared the horizon. It was a fabulous spot to see the sunset, and I was mesmerized by the colors in the sky being reflected on the water. Harvey looked engrossed by it as well, and I smiled, thinking of how little I had really known him before when he was just Natalie’s husband. He was kind, fun, adventurous, funny. Extremely good looking. I had to stop thinking of him in that way, I said to myself with a sigh. It’s surprising how one second he was Natalie’s husband, and the next he was this big, unknown hulk of a man.
That night we were again too tired to go out dancing. We ate dinner at a restaurant nearby, and had a few drinks at the terrace of our hotel, watching the moonlight illuminate the beach. Then Harvey suggested we walk on the beach. I considered it a moment, but then it reminded me too much of a romantic activity. We couldn’t cross that line. Not that I knew whether he wanted to cross that line or not. He’d been a perfect gentleman, and besides that wink and that extra long gaze at the zip line (which could just be construed as him playing around), there was nothing to suggest he would want to cross the line.
“I’m very tired,” I said, not making any eye contact.
“I’m gonna hang for a bit then and have another drink.”
“Try not to punch anyone else,” I said. He smiled and told me he’d try not to.
I went up, glad to have a respite from confusing feelings for a while. The good thing about it, however, was that it gave me less time to think of Greg. That quickly changed as I got to the hallway and saw Greg exiting Natalie’s room. I tried to turn around and get out of there, but I heard him call my name. I froze, not wanting to talk to him, but wanting to get it over with, too.
“Where have you been? Every time I come looking for you in the room you’re not there,” he said.
“Greg, that’s none of your concern now.” My tone was harsh, but not as harsh as I would have liked it to be.
“Don’t say that,” he said softly. “Please, let’s go talk somewhere.” I sighed, walking to my room. I opened the door and let him come in. He looked at Harvey’s suitcase.
“He’s been staying here?”
“Well he hasn’t been in Natalie’s room has he?” I asked.
“I’m just sleeping there because you kicked me out. Trust me that nothing is going on.”
“Trust? Trust!” I yelled.
“Alright, I understand it will take time for you to trust me again, but I’ll do anything. It… It was such a fucked up mistake. I don’t even know how to begin apologizing to you, Audrey, but I’ll do it for the rest of my life. I’m so sorry baby,” he said, getting closer all the time.
“Stay away from me,” I said. He stepped back. “Listen closely, Greg. We are done. I’m not even a bit willing to put up with someone cheating on me. This marriage is over, and it’s not because I’m saying it’s over now. It’s because you couldn’t keep it in your pants however long and however many times this was going on.”
“I’ll tell you whatever you want to know,” he said.
I covered my ears. “Ew, no I don’t want to hear any of that.”
“I do,” Harvey said, as he walked into the room. Alarm bells went off in my head. This would not end well.
“How many times did you fuck my wife, you piece of shit?” Harvey repeated.
“Look, I think you should talk to Natalie.”
“No, I wanna talk to you,” Harvey said, inching closer. He was itching to fight him, I could tell. And he’d been drinking, so if the story he’d told me about the bar was any indication, fists might start flying soon.
“Greg, get out,” I said. He looked at me, surprised that I was kicking him out. Nobody moved. “Get out now!” I yelled.
Harvey moved clo
ser to him, and Greg walked out. I grabbed Harvey’s arm as he started to follow him. The door closed.
“Please, Harvey, stay here,” I said, moving him towards the couch so he could sit down. He did, but then he got back up again and paced the room. He was fuming. His ears were red, and his facial muscles were tensed up. Finally, he walked out to the balcony. I breathed a sigh of relief and left him to cool off for a few minutes. I brushed my teeth and changed into my PJs, no longer worried that there would be an altercation… at least for that night.
He was still sitting out there when I finished changing. I opened the door, peeking my head out.
“You OK?” I asked.
“No,” he said, running his hands through his hair. He was slouched over the banister, not looking at anything in particular. I went out and stood next to him.
“You can’t go around punching people all the time, you know,” I said giving him a slight jab with my elbow.
“Yeah, I know,” he said seriously. I guessed I wasn’t lightening the mood any. Then he said, “But I can dream about it.” I laughed.
“I think I’ll dream about it too.” I patted his arm and went back in. He’d be fine. He was dealing with his own demons and trying not to show it, but they came out tonight. No matter how long he had known his marriage was over, now was the moment it had come to fruition. It would be hard on him too, just like me.
I went to bed and put out the lights but didn’t fall asleep until I heard that Harvey was on the sofa bed. Then I drifted off into dream after fitful dream. I tossed and turned and must have done so right off the bed because I woke up as my body hit the floor. I had fallen off the bed, and I moaned in a half asleep stupor. I heard Harvey calling my name, and he helped me up off the floor.
“Are you OK?” he asked.
“Um, yeah, yeah, I think so. I don’t even know how that happened,” I mumbled.
He sat on the edge of the bed next to me. The warmth of his legs seeped into my own legs, and I panicked.
“Go back to sleep,” I said. “I’m fine.” I hurried back under the covers, and Harvey shuffled back to his sofa bed. The clock next to my bed said 5:47 AM, and I couldn’t fall asleep again after that. Around seven, I gave up trying and went down to the beach to take a walk.
It was refreshing and soothing to stroll along the shoreline. I picked up the prettiest shells, watched a few crabs find their way to their sandy homes, and saw a man and woman walking as I did. She hung onto his arm and they were both smiling, obviously in their own romantic bubble. I was jealous— so jealous of her.
Up in the room, Harvey was in the shower, and I sat on the bed waiting for him to finish. When he walked out, again in his towel, I said, “Breakfast?” I focused my gaze above his neck.
He stopped for a moment, not expecting to see me, and then grinned. “Yes.”
We ate breakfast there at the restaurant, not caring if we ran into our spouses. Which we did. I was taking a bite of my omelet when I saw them walking in. I kicked Harvey and pointed to them. They hadn’t seen us yet, but we sat there watching them. Greg and Natalie sat down and said nothing to each other. They ordered their food without consulting each other or discussing their order. Not one word. When the food arrived, they ate in silence. By then our own food was cold. Greg got up, having finished his meal, and then he saw us. He walked over to the table, my body tensing up.
“Shit,” I said under my breath before he reached us.
“Hi,” Greg said, and then he put both hands up in front of him as a sign of non-confrontation. “I just wanted to tell you I’m on a flight home in a couple of hours, and I’m on my way out.” He was looking at me, and I could tell he too had not slept. He was sad, and I almost reached out to hug him at that moment. I felt a kick from Harvey, and I knew that I’d been on the brink. It would have led to us talking, maybe me giving Greg another chance. I hoped not.
“OK,” I said, “I guess you’ll be hearing from my lawyer.” He stared at me for a few seconds and then walked away, his shoulders down from their usual erect nature. I felt my eyes stinging then, and I went outside, forgetting Harvey and the rest of my breakfast. This was hard, and it wasn’t getting any easier. I’d feel this way until the divorce was finalized, but I couldn’t do that from St. Thomas.
I was out there for a while when Harvey came to find me.
“Natalie’s going home too,” he said. “She tried to apologize, but I told her that apologies mean nothing to me in this situation. We should have separated a while ago, and she agreed. She said the reason she hadn’t said anything before is because she thought we could fix it with a baby. Do you know how fucked up that is? I told her that, and she started crying. Take your tears elsewhere, I said, because you created this whole mess.”
“I don’t even recognize her anymore. I can’t believe how deceived we’ve been by them.”
“The good news is that they’re leaving. St. Thomas will be ours soon, and we won’t have to worry about running into them.”
“That’s true,” I said, trying to break out of the sadness threatening to overcome me again.
“That means we’re taking this vacation back. We had it, right? We were having fun, and then last night and this morning we got off track, but that’s it. They’re gone, and we can do this.” I loved his pep talk, and honestly, it was working— more so because he did that staring thing again, and I was watching his hazel eyes sparkle in the sun.
“OK!” I said clapping my hands, getting into the spirit. “What are we doing? Skydiving? Bungee jumping?” Obviously, I wouldn’t do either, but I was trying to prepare myself for whatever was coming.
He lifted an eyebrow and gave me a half smile. “I was thinking more like chilling on a party boat or something.” I laughed and nodded.
Chapter Seven
Soon we were on a catamaran with a bunch of other people heading to a reef to go snorkeling. It was a tad more adventurous than “chilling”, especially since I was nervous of what was hiding in the deep ocean. I’m sure Harvey could tell because he kept asking if I was OK when I started putting on the life vest. Like I said before, I was a fraidy-cat for most things, but I was proud of what I did with the zip line. Doing a bit of snorkeling shouldn’t be a big deal, I told myself. I told this to Harvey, who reassured me it would be great fun. People went into the water, jumping off the side or going down the ladder off the back of the boat.
Harvey and I decided we’d jump, which we did, and I plunged myself into an underwater world of colorful fish and coral. It was a world tinged blue, and it was enchanting. Harvey took my hand, and we both kicked towards the reef to get a closer view. We even saw a small shark that surprisingly didn’t send me screaming back to the boat. The thing that did it was a jellyfish I saw just a hair too late, then my head was above water, and I was freaking out. I wasn’t even sure if I’d touched it, but it had been right next to me. I swam back to the boat as fast as I could and reached the ladder. When I climbed out there was a burning sensation on my left outer thigh. Then I noticed a growing welt. It was about two inches long and it hurt like hell. Harvey was right behind me, and I climbed up the entire way taking off the fins, mask, and the vest.
“Damn,” he said, bending to look at the sting up close.
“Oh, it hurts,” I said in a whiny voice.
“Am I gonna have to pee on it?” he asked, worried. “I will if it’s that bad.” I considered his offer but was about to refuse when one of the tour operators came over with a spray bottle.
“Use this, it will help with the stinging,” the tour guide said. I’d never been so grateful to a perfect stranger. The liquid didn’t take it away, but it made it more bearable.
“I can still pee on it if you want,” Harvey said, this time looking much more amenable to it since he knew it was not a real possibility anymore.
“I think I’ll take one of those instead,” I said pointing to fruity cocktails that were being passed out. He promptly retrieved one for each of us, and I drank
it fast through the colorful straw, hoping the alcohol numbed me from the pain. The first one did little, but the second one hit the spot.
“I think the spray just takes time to work,” I said to Harvey. We were standing at the front of the catamaran under the shade.
“Mhmm. I’d say the rum is doing the job,” he said tapping my cup. Just then the music started, and the party part of the excursion began. The tour guide got on a microphone and started the fun by playing a few coordinated dances, teaching those of us that weren’t familiar with the moves. While I remembered most of them, I was surprised to see that Harvey knew more than me, and he was good. Very good. He moved his hips so well he could have been doing the instructing, and I loved watching him. Then we were doing the limbo, and I’d forgotten my jellyfish sting. There was a woman jumping up and down, yelling every time the music hit the refrain, and dancing like a wild woman around the entire boat. Every time she came by us, Harvey and I danced with her, but I don’t think we ever matched her energy. We noticed her husband was sitting, sipping on his drink, and enjoying the show.
“I wonder how often he has to watch her be the life of the party, while he watches,” I said.
“I guess opposites attract,” he said, throwing back the rest of his drink. Harvey and I had been dancing as part of the group, with everyone spread out, but then salsa music started playing, and couples formed. While I hadn’t danced much salsa, I knew the basic moves, and I grabbed Harvey’s arms to show him the little bit my mom had taught me. He followed along well, and we were watching the others that were more experienced, trying to copy their moves. We did a few turns, sometimes getting tangled in each other’s arms and laughing until we tried again. I was having such a good time I forgot where I was, why I was there, and what had happened this past week.
The dancing continued, and the alcohol was doing its thing for real now. It was in my head, and I wanted to dance sexy— so I did. My hips were moving, and they were in Harvey’s hands. I was dancing with my body touching his from head to toe. We swayed together, the music guiding our every step and gyration. I doubted I’d ever danced so sensually in all of my life.