Trial by Heart (Trial Series Book 4)

by Lizzy Ford

“Fighting,” I reply vaguely, not about to admit we were arguing over him. “I didn’t know he could do that. Take over my body.” I shudder.

  “The curse is powerful, but it’s manageable.”

  “Manageable?” I repeat in surprise.

  Ben gives me a small smile. “Yeah. Alpha, remember?”

  If I weren’t in pain, I’d laugh.

  What’s more: I believe him. If anyone can handle Erish, it’s Ben.

  The werewolf leader eases back from me and scoops me up into his arms. “Keep that arm over your head,” he directs me. “I’ll call Jason.” He walks out of the kitchen and down the hallway, carrying me with ease.

  Pain is edged aside by another emotion at the demonstration of his effortless strength.

  I keep my arm up and stare at my bare legs, wishing I’d thought to put on pants. I couldn’t have known Erish was going to attack me with my own body.

  The shadow is completely silent as it trails us to the living room, where Ben sinks down onto the couch with me in his lap. One of his arms remains around me, and he lifts my forearm above his head once more before grabbing his phone.

  Do I move or … not?

  Like his brother, he doesn’t seem to have much of a sense of personal space. Not today, at least, even if he’s carefully kept his distance before this.

  After a moment of agonizing debate, I shift on his lap without leaving it and drape an arm around his neck to balance. His call to Jason is quick, and he lowers the phone. Reaching for my arm, he wraps his hand around the toweled wound and squeezes.

  The pressure dressing is probably needed but at the moment, I can’t help gazing at his gorgeous eyes and taut, golden skin of his face, inches from mine. His heat and strength have completely drained, or calmed?, my fear and the turmoil of feeling I normally experience. His touch banishes the storm inside me. Should I be grateful or freaked out by that?

  My gaze trails down his thick neck to his muscular shoulders.

  “I ruined your clothes,” I murmur, frowning. He’s in dress pants and an open-necked white dress shirt, as if he were getting ready to put on a tie when he heard me freaking out.

  “I can buy more,” he says and meets my gaze.

  Too. Close. His direct look sends heat spiking through me and pooling at the base of my belly. Being in his arms makes it impossible to escape to the forest or even to look away.

  “Tell me about the curse,” he directs me with another of his soft commands.

  Ensnared by his silvery eyes, it takes a minute for his words to reach my brain.

  “What do you want to know?” I ask.

  “Everything.”

  I hesitate, recalling the secrecy that’s always shrouded the trials and Kingmaker Curse. By revealing everything to him, do I make things worse? Is it a mistake to believe anyone, even Ben, can truly end two thousand years of suffering?

  No. This truth I know to my bone. Ben isn’t the problem.

  My fear is the problem. I don’t want him to think worse of me, if that’s even possible at this point, and I don’t want him to hear the truth and decide that either I’m not worth saving, or it’s pointless to try to break the curse.

  Maybe hope is my problem, not fear. I’m not really sure.

  If I share the trials with him, my struggles and fear, I’m inviting someone into my world, and I don’t know if I’m ready for voluntary intimacy after a life lived in isolation from supernaturals and humans. It was different with the candidates, because I could blame magic for effecting my judgment, decisions and emotions. I don’t have that crutch now, and once the truth is out there, I can’t remove Ben from my life.

  My thoughts turn to Myca and how I’ll never accept his death as necessary.

  The hot pain in my arm and my twisted emotions are nothing compared to what happens to those I care about. If they’re strong enough to enter the trials knowing they’re all doomed, I’m strong enough to invite someone into my world to help me.

  Ben waits patiently, one hand keeping my arm from bleeding out and his other arm around me to keep me steady on his lap.

  “You sure you want to know?” I warn him. “You might change your mind.”

  “I’m not going anywhere, Leslie.”

  My throat tightens, and I swallow hard. “Pinkie swear?” I joke lamely and hold out my pinky.

  Ben smiles, and I sense the werewolf alpha has never had to pinkie swear anyone in his life. “Pinkie swear.” He entwines his finger with mine briefly.

  The sense of being exposed is back, along with the flutter of awareness I shouldn’t be experiencing after my terrible morning. It’s mixed with the uncertainty I’ve been fighting every step of the way along the trials.

  “Okay.” I draw a deep breath. I can do this. I can trust him. After all, I definitely need the help.

  Why am I silently freaking out?

  Chapter Eight

  I tell him everything I know: what the Book of Secrets has revealed, the contents of my father’s letters, and everything Erish has ever claimed – truth or lie.

  It’s surprisingly easy to pour out all that I’ve been twisted up over. Ben listens without speaking, his gaze on mine, his solid frame a buffer between Erish and me. I can’t read him and start to tense again, needing to know what he’s thinking, if he’s certain about not backing out of this disaster. As much as I want to be strong and plow through with my plan, I can’t handle losing anyone else or being ditched after opening up like this.

  I finish just as Jason walks into the living room with his medic bag in one hand. Any chance I have to ask Ben what he’s thinking is gone when Jason crouches beside us.

  “We have to stop meeting like this,” he says with a quick smile.

  Grateful for the interruption, I roll my eyes at him. “Send the bill to your brother.”

  “No bills among family.”

  I open my mouth to retort that I’m not family and never will be then decide against it. Jason apologized for his letter. I don’t know that his opinion has changed, but it won’t matter in a few days anyway. I’d rather not pick a fight with the person who’s about to stitch me up. Again.

  Ben releases my arm. I grimace when Jason unwraps the makeshift bandage.

  “This looks like a knife wound,” Jason observes. He glances at me curiously.

  “I got in a fight with a breakfast sandwich,” I snap. “It happens.”

  “Anyone ever tell you it’d be wise for you to avoid sharp objects?” he retorts.

  “Are you this lippy with all your patients?”

  He laughs.

  Ben is smiling.

  “I think you’re getting the big needle today.” Jason pulls a syringe from his bag.

  “I hate needles.” I lean my head back against Ben’s shoulder and stare at the ceiling. The scent of astringent makes my nose wrinkle. Jason cleans up the wound quickly before shooting me up with something to numb the pain while he stitches the gash and checks the smaller stab wounds.

  When he’s done, he bandages my arm snuggly.

  I test my arm. The skin is numb, and my whole limb feels heavy.

  Jason packs up his things and stands. “Good luck,” he tells Ben then winks at me.

  I ignore him.

  The moment he’s gone, the tension between Ben and me returns, this time thicker. I’m not only half naked in his arms, but I’ve also told him enough about the curse to send any rational person running. Clearing my throat, I shift off his lap carefully, doing my best not to flash him in the short t-shirt, and stand.

  Walking towards the hallway slowly, I rack my mind for something to say. What I really want to know – if the revelations about the curse freaked him out – I can’t bring myself to ask. The need to talk to him, to hear he hasn’t changed his mind, that I’m not going to find myself alone with this, agitates me to the point I have to say something.

  “Do you have any hobbies? Aside from watching movies and breaking curses?” I ask.

  It’s a stupid questi
on, and I face him when I reach the hallway, debating if I should just run to my room or wait for his answer.

  Ben is on his feet and peeling off the bloody dress shirt to reveal the snug white t-shirt beneath. It hugs his biceps, shoulders and hints at the muscles of his chest. This man is perfect, from his silver eyes to his flat abs and lean thighs to the sense he’s the only person I’ve ever met who has his shit together.

  “Yeah,” he answers, gaze flickering to mine. “Do you want to see?”

  If it involves him removing more clothing, then the answer is obviously yes.

  I nod. “But, um … later. You look like you’re dressed for a meeting.”

  “Circumstances have changed.” Is he amused?

  “Sorry about that,” I mutter, face hot.

  “There’s good to be taken from it. I think I figured out something about Erish,” he replies.

  “Aside from the fact he’s a raging nutcase?”

  “Go change.” The alpha lifts his chin in one of his quiet commands. “Meet me out back.”

  I don’t want to be, but I’m intrigued.

  Returning to my room, I sigh as I close the door behind me. I’m a little dizzy from blood loss and general anxiety. Fortunately, I have no knives in my room.

  “You’re a total asshole, Erish,” I hiss to him and then cross the room, whipping off the t-shirt. “If Ben has to wrestle me down every ten minutes because you’re trying to take over my body …”

  That image stops me in my tracks.

  “Okay. Maybe you should try to take over my body,” I decide, unusually aroused by the idea of Ben holding me down.

  “Fuck you, Leslie,” Erish replies acidly.

  I raise my eyebrows. “Oh, is someone pissed because he couldn’t murder me?” I demand.

  “I wouldn’t murder you. You need to learn your place in all this.”

  Asshole. I go to the bathroom for a quick and awkward shower to wash off the blood without getting my bandages wet. My clothes are clean and on the bed when I’m done, and I change quickly. Part of me is afraid to be alone too long with Erish while another part of me is eager to see Ben again.

  “Do you plan on trying to possess me again anytime soon?” I ask Erish as I tie my shoes. “I thought you couldn’t with the amulet.”

  “I was testing it.”

  “And?” I sit up and wait.

  He’s quiet.

  Dread sinks into my stomach. In truth, he doesn’t need to control my entire body. If he’d been quicker with my hand, he could’ve ripped off my amulet easily then finished his possession unopposed.

  If Ben is the key to helping me break the curse, then can he do something to help me stop Erish? Something other than holding me down if Erish gains control?

  Disturbed by my morning and the curse’s demonstration of power, I meet Ben behind the house. My gaze sweeps over his body once more. He’s dressed in jeans that display his thick thighs and a long t-shirt that’s snug everywhere I want it to be.

  “How’s the arm?” he asks.

  “Fine.” Some feeling is returning. It’s more of a dull throb than sharp pain, though I imagine later, I’ll be hurting. “I’m so sorry about that, Ben.”

  “It was definitely not how I planned to start my day,” he admits with one of his half smiles. “But it confirms a theory I’ve had.”

  “Don’t tell me if you don’t want Erish to know,” I say quickly.

  “I want him to know.” The gleam in his eyes is one of resolve. “Erish released you when I touched you, didn’t he?”

  I nod.

  “And the Kingmaker’s intended mate is the candidate killed in every trial.”

  “You think being around you weakens him?”

  “I do. I think there’s only one thing stronger than the curse: the reason he gave up everything in the first place.”

  The woman he loved. Erish destroyed his world for love.

  Why does this make me warm and tingly? Ben and I don’t know each other well enough for the L-word to be in play. But, since my husband is supposed to be fated, maybe that’s all it takes: for him to survive the trials with me.

  “What started this mess is also the key to stopping it,” I murmur. “And since you aren’t officially part of the trials, you don’t have to follow the rules and leave me alone this week as is tradition.”

  “We have to do it together,” Ben agrees.

  The warm tingles turn to fire inside me. He’s heard the horrible truth and still wants something to do with me. It’s hard to accept help from anyone, and to risk someone else’s life in the trials, but I’m also grateful.

  “Don’t start celebrating yet,” Erish warns quietly. “You have three days left. You can’t be around him day and night.”

  “The hell I can’t!” I snap as I turn on the shadow behind me. “You think I have any reservations whatsoever about sleeping with him, if it means I can break the curse? I’d fuck a demon to get rid of you!”

  Too late I hear the words and remember I have an audience.

  Ben laughs loudly.

  “Shit!” I rub my face, distressed. “I don’t think it’s possible for me to embarrass myself more around you.” Ben is the one man in the entire universe I don’t want to think poorly of me, and I continue to humiliate myself in front of him.

  If our roles were reversed, I’d be long gone by now.

  “Come on.” Ben’s smile is the largest I’ve seen yet from the uber-private alpha. “I’ll show you my hobby.”

  “Why?” I demand, more agitated to see he’s not remotely upset. “Why haven’t you, I don’t know. Run away screaming? Changed your mind?”

  “The hero always saves the world and gets the girl in the end.” He winks.

  I stare at him, start to laugh and then shake my head. His sense of humor always emerges at the oddest times and catches me off guard. “You’ve been watching too many movies!” I manage at last.

  He holds out his hand.

  I hesitate then cross to him and take it. He leads me towards a gravel road branching off from the driveway into the forest.

  “Besides, in this movie, the heroine saves the world and gets the guy,” I correct him and immediately wish I hadn’t. “But this isn’t a movie, so the guy part doesn’t apply.”

  “It could.” His features are stoic, though there’s a sparkle in his eyes. “You have to rescue him from the villain first.”

  It almost sounds like he’s interested. Almost.

  I sneak a look at him. Technically, we’re sleeping together, even if he’s a dog at the time, and now we’re holding hands.

  He can’t like me, can he?

  He’d have to be crazier than Erish, and I’m afraid that level of insanity can’t possibly exist.

  “I guess if I see you in a pink dress tied to the train tracks, I’ll stop to save you before I defeat the bad guy,” I say with a snort.

  “I prefer to be the one doing the tying.”

  Heated arousal floods me suddenly, until I’m nearly fevered and my thoughts are scattered to the four winds. I can’t think of a safe response. For once, I don’t say shit.

  We walk down the road, the gravel crunching beneath our shoes. The sky is clouding up, and a chilly breeze whips through the forest smelling of rain. Being with Ben is generally calming, aside from the hot flashes of desire I experience too often in his presence. He’s quiet and alert, and I check my second shadow to see if Erish has given up stalking us. I’m secretly thrilled by the idea being around Ben might mean Erish can’t hurt me again or pull off my amulet and leave me vulnerable to him.

  We reach the end of the gravel road, which empties into a huge area the size of six or seven football fields. Five massive barns, spacious dog runs, and a half-full parking lot fill the area.

  “Animal rescue,” I say, reading the sign out front.

  “This is my hobby,” Ben says and motions to the field. “Finding and saving lost animals.”

  “Like me,” I murmur.


  “Finders, keepers.”

  I smile. I like Ben. A lot. I think he’s bat shit crazy for liking me, but it’s also kind of cool.

  “My corporation sits on the boards of several charitable foundations as well,” he explains. “I specialize in rehabilitating and placing the lost causes. Fighting dogs, abused animals, and anything exotic.”

  “How exotic?” I ask curiously.

  “We had an elephant for a year before I found a private sanctuary to take it. We just placed a tiger and returned a bear to the wild,” he adds.

  “So dealing with me and Erish is an extension of your hobby,” I murmur.

  “You don’t need rescuing, Leslie. You just need someone who believes in you.”

  I hate the way his words make my heart melt. I’m torn between wondering where this man has been my entire life and wishing he’d back out, before I fuck up his world.

  Ben gives me a tour of the barns and then leads me to an outdoor training area, where two of his employees are teaching commands to a few dogs each. We pause to watch.

  “Werewolves teaching dogs to sit,” I say and smile. “Is that ironic or logical?”

  “Probably both,” he answers and rests his arms on the uppermost board of the fence.

  My attention strays from the dogs, and I think over what little I learned about Ben in the short time I’ve known he existed. “Did you know about Jenny?” I ask before I can stop myself. “It’s none of my business but … I guess I want to think what happened wasn’t an isolated event that exploded when I showed up.”

  “It wasn’t. Jenny was my second for a long time. I’d known since shortly after she began some of her activities that she was dirty. I wanted to see who else was involved and was content watching her at first. Nate was completely in love with her, and always had been, even if he was cautious about taking a mate. None of my siblings have mated, which has a lot to do with the business and penalties of acquiring wealth. You can’t always trust someone is there for you and not your money. I assumed he’d hold out long enough for me to deal with Jenny.”

  “I didn’t think werewolves would have to worry about something like that.”

  “My family has always been cautious. The sole pursuit of the past dozen alphas has been to find acceptance among the Community, and a scandal would damage the reputation we’ve built,” he says. “When I heard Nate was thinking about mating with Jenny, I decided I needed to tell him what I knew. Someone tipped off Jenny, and she convinced Nate to wed in secret.”