by Nora Shkodra
I had been left with a mark, a scar; the death of Jacob would haunt me until my own life was over. I felt responsible for him dying, because if I had told someone in the beginning, anyone, it would have ended before it got out of hand. I hated myself for not acting wisely.
Seeking Victory
I must have fallen asleep, because the next time I opened my eyes, light was streaming through Jacob’s opened curtains. I rubbed my eyes and rolled onto my back.
I had this feeling of dread, I didn’t want to open my eyes, and I didn’t want to wake up.
I didn’t want to breathe anymore.
I wanted to lie there with closed eyes and a still heart. But I urged myself up.
My parents had been through enough, and losing their other child to suicide was not something I wanted for them.
I left his room and approached my parent’s door. I knocked and faintly heard my Dad say ‘come in.’
I opened the door, walked in, and climbed into their bed, in between them. I hadn’t done that since Jake and I were kids.
“What are we going to do?” I asked them, my throat dry from crying so much.
“We’re going to have to continue life as usual. It sure is going to be hard, but it’s what Jake would have wanted from us,” my father’s voice was also thick from crying himself, and a little groggy from sleep.
We were all lying on our backs, looking up at the plain white ceiling.
“When will the funeral be?” I asked.
“We don’t know yet, hopefully as soon as possible,” Mum answered me as she stroked my hair.
We were all hurting, we had lost a quarter of our family to gang violence, and I wanted revenge.
So, that morning, after we all pretended to eat breakfast, I set out to find Trey. I didn’t care if that was the police’s job, I wanted it done as soon as humanly possible, and so I did all I could. I walked all around town; I went to all the places I suspected he’d be.
The chicken shop about a mile from my house, the place Jacob was killed. That was a stupid place to check, it was swarming with police, and it also brought back memories.
I checked the park where we had first met, he wasn’t there either. I had no luck and was drained of hope.
By the time I had finished, well, given up searching for Trey, I was starving.
As I strolled around town, I saw an open cafe and walked in, only to be wafted by smell of freshly baked pastries. I ordered a cheese and tomato toasty, along with a mug of coffee. I sat in the corner of the cafe and pulled the book I was currently reading out of my bag and read while I ate.
I’m really grateful for books; they give me a chance to escape from the real world, because in the hour I spent sitting there and reading, I was in a whole other planet. Reading is beautiful.
My phone started buzzing in my pocket. I slid it out and checked the caller ID. It was Liz.
“Hello?” I answered.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she shouted into the phone.
I sighed and leaned against the window. It was raining heavily outside, typical English weather.
“Tell you what?” I asked, even though I knew what she was talking about.
Seeking Victory “Oh, don’t play dumb with me Amber! Why didn’t you tell me my boyfriend was murdered?” Her tone told me she was crying, and so was I.
“Your boyfriend. YOUR BOYFRIEND? Last night my twin brother died in my arms, IN MY ARMS LIZ! I watched him take his last breath, and here you are, shouting at me, because I didn’t tell you!”
My blood was boiling. All I felt was an incredible amount of anger towards my best friend. She started to say something; however it was too late as I had just cut the phone on her.
My hands were trembling as tears slid down my cheeks, the waitress that had served me when I first came in walked up to me.
“Are you alright love?” she asked.
I nodded as I wiped away the tears.
“Yeah, thanks for asking, could I have another coffee please?”
“Of course” she said, walking back to get me coffee.
I know I should have felt bad for shouting at Liz, but to be honest, she had no right to be mad at me. No one, not even my parents, were as broken as me since his death. I was angry at her; she was being so selfish!
The lady came back to me with a mug of coffee and a double chocolate muffin on a plate.
“It’s on the house,” she said, placing them in front of me and taking away the other plate and mug.
I sipped slowly and ate as I thought of new places to look for Trey. I realised that I had gone to every place he might be within a five mile radius, well apart from his house, but I didn’t know where that was.
My phone started buzzing again, I checked the caller ID. It was Liz again. Since I was still angry with her, I ignored the call.
Standing up, I pulled some money out of my pocket and placed it on the table, then walked out.
I knew the waitress said it was on the house, but I hated owing people.
Chapter 19 Friends Forever
I walked around town for a little longer when I eventually ended up outside my house. I was sighing heavily as I walked up the steps to open the front door. I entered my home and silently shut the door behind me. I took off my shoes and coat . I was soaked as the rain hadn’t stopped at all. I walked into the living room and saw someone sitting on the couch, causing me to jump with fright.
“Jesus Liz, you scared the crap out of me!” I calmed down once I realised it was just her.
“Hey Amber, I’ve been waiting for ages, we need to talk.” She sounded a little nervous.
“Why didn’t you call, oh wait, you did but I ignored the call.”
“I know, and I don’t blame you one bit. I was out of order; I shouldn’t have said what I did. I wasn’t thinking of anyone but him. He’s actually gone, hasn’t he?”
Her voice broke on the last sentence, and soon we were hugging each other, like the vulnerable girls we were.
“How did this even happen?” she asked me once we had stopped weeping.
“It’s a really long story.”
Friends Forever It was true, however that was also my excuse not to have to repeat it again.
“I’ve got time.”
Just like everyone else, that was her reply.
“Wait, it’s Monday, why aren’t you in school?” I asked her and she gave me a look as if to say ‘why do you think?’
And so I gave in, I told her everything, every single detail I could remember. I don’t think I missed anything out. Liz gagged when I told her about the part where Kaden had dragged me into the warehouse and, you know.
“That vile cockroach,” she sneered.
By the time I had gotten to the end, tears were sliding down her face as she stared at me.
“Why didn’t you tell me? I could have helped.”
“I didn’t want you in any danger,” I admitted.
“Amber, you were in even more danger by not telling anyone,” Liz’s voice was pleading, as if she was begging the world to go back in time.
“Well, I know that now,” I said quietly, feeling small.
Liz sighed deeply. “I understand, you must have been under a lot of pressure.”
We were silent for a while and the air was thick, almost suffocating.
“So, where do we go from here?” Liz asked, breaking the silence.
“Well, I’m going to get justice,” I replied and she nodded eagerly.
“Good, because I’m going to help you.”
“Liz, I don’t want you getting involved, you’ll get hurt …”
She didn’t let me finish.
“If you’re going to say I’ll get hurt, don’t, because I don’t even know this guy and he has tortured me, because he’s already done it to you. You are my best friend Amber, and I will go to the ends of the earth for you.”
Chapter Nineteen| 73 “I would do the same for you, but I just do not want to see you get hurt in any w
ay!” I was almost begging her.
“When it’s both of us Amber, we will be stronger. I’ll protect you, and you’ll protect me.”
Her blue eyes were piercing through my soul. I felt like she was reaching for me, bringing me to my senses. I sighed.
“Okay, we’ll have to leave now,” I said, and so we did.
As we walked down the sidewalk we talked tactics and how we would catch Trey and Kaden.
At that moment, I felt extremely grateful for having a friend as amazing as Liz. No matter what happened between us, we were always, really and truly, best friends.
Chapter 20 Ninja Style
Never in my life had someone ever made me feel as disturbed as Trey did. Everything about him just made me want to strangle him. I wanted to watch life slowly drain out of his eyes, the way I watched Jacob die, however with Trey, I will feel no emotion.
That afternoon, Liz and I had set out to find them, the animals that killed my brother. We searched everywhere I had looked before, but we still couldn’t find them.
“Have you checked his house?” Liz asked as we walked around the ruined park.
I looked over into the distance and took a moment to admire the sunset; it was beautiful, the way colours splashed across the sky. How could a world so beautiful contain such evil-minded people?
“I don’t know where he lives,” I finally replied.
Liz was watching the sunset with me, and in that moment, all my worries and fears vanished, just for a moment, and I desperately wanted to freeze that moment in time, and live it forever; in our own little bubble where bad things weren’t able to get to us.
But, as always, it didn’t last.
“Why don’t we ask Jodie, she must know where he lives?” Liz asked simply.
“Why the hell didn’t I think of that?” I said, asking no one in particular, as we rushed towards the exit of the park.
I yanked my phone out of my pocket and called Jodie.
“I know what Trey did, and I’m going to help you with whatever you’re doing to get revenge,” was the first thing she said immediately after I had screamed her name into the phone.
“How do you know that I’m doing something?”
“Because, you’re Amber, you cannot simply stay without doing something until you are satisfied.” Jodie sounded like she was eating.
“Okay, where does Trey live?”
Liz and I were running down the road, and I was getting a little breathless, but she was sprinting ahead.
“Down by the river, on the right side of the bridge, red door, number 57,” she explained between bites of whatever she was eating.
I wasn’t surprised to hear that he lived in such a pleasant place; his father was somewhat of a drug dealer.
“Do you think he would be there?” I asked between deep breaths.
“Probably, the police already searched his house and found nothing, so he’s most likely hiding there since it’s unlikely they’ll go back. He’ll probably be in the basement, so make sure you persuade his Mum to let you go down there.”
“Okay, thank you so much!”
“You’re welcome and good luck. Oh, and Amber...”
“Yeah?” I answered.
“Be careful, please.”
She cut the phone then and I shoved it back into my pocket, speeding up to run in pace with Liz. I couldn’t keep it up for long, so we both slowed down to a fast walk.
I explained the plan I had in mind to her, and she agreed with me.
We decided to stop off at my house on the way to his and get changed into comfy clothes and running shoes, in case we had to make a quick getaway, knowing Trey, we were sure we’d need one.
Dressed in all black and storming down the road, I felt as though Liz and I were super heroes, fighting crime, cheesy as it sounds.
When we reached the river, Liz and I slowed our pace, in case we made any unwanted noise.
Slowly and silently, we crept along the right side of the river until we were against the low wall of Trey’s front garden. I peeped over and, as Jodie promised, the door was bright red with a big 57 on it. The front garden was what my mother would have called ‘a pleasant sight’. For such a damaged and violent guy, Trey lived in such a nice home.
“What do we do now?” Liz asked.
“Um, knock on the door I guess?” I replied, uncertain.
“Then why the hell did we just creep all the way here?”
“I have no idea!” I said, giggling a little, amidst all the treachery that was going on.
We stared at the door a little longer until Liz spoke.
“Well, go and knock then.”
She pushed me a little towards the gate, so I dragged her to the door with me and rung the bell.
The door suddenly swung open, forcefully might I add, causing me to jump.
“Tanika, turn that down!”
A Caribbean woman, who seemed to be in her mid-forties and whom I assumed to be Trey’s mother screamed at the top of her lungs over Beyonce’s ‘Drunk in Love’ blaring upstairs.
“Can I help you?” she asked, turning her face to look at us properly.
“Yes, I’m Amber and this is Liz. We’re friends of Trey’s.” I had put on a sweet, girly voice.
“Trey doesn’t have any friends with those names,” she replied immediately, moving the door as if to close it.
I stuck my foot in between, stopping the door from being shut.
“Please Mrs Smith, I know you know what Trey has done, and all I want to do is keep other people safe from him. He’s dangerous.” My voice was pleading with her.
“He is my son; I can’t just let him go to prison,” she said in a hushed voice.
“I understand that Mrs Smith; he is your son, and you love him no matter what, but he has killed people, and he should be punished for it. He killed my brother, for no valid reason. His friend raped mine, she’s afraid to leave her house. And when Trey told the same boy to do the same thing to me, he almost did.”
She nodded as a few tears slid down her face, I whispered ‘thank you’ as she opened the door wide to let me in. Liz and I went straight to the basement and opened the door to reveal a rough looking Trey, sitting on a beat up, old sofa.
“Hello Amber.”
His voice was low and hollow. That sound, his voice, used to send shivers down my spine just a few days before. After my brother’s death, Trey no longer brought fear to me, but anger. Anger was all I felt as I glared at him. Bile rose in my throat as I stared at his stormy eyes and hands capable of murder.
“What are you still doing here? WHY HAVEN’T THE POLICE FOUND YOU?” I screamed the last question, when suddenly a child upstairs started crying. Call me cold hearted, but at that moment, I wasn’t really bothered.
“I have a friend working with the feds; he’s convinced the others I’ve run away to Wales.”
“Well, I’m here now, you’ve killed my brother, and I’m going to make sure you get locked up for a very, very, long time.”
My blood was boiling, and in that moment, I wanted nothing more but to slam my fist against his face, and feel his bones crack beneath my knuckles.
It’s not like me to lust for the pain of another human being, however the person I so desperately wanted to see hurting was the person who took my brother away from me.
“And what makes you so sure you’re going to succeed and this little plan of yours? You are a child! You can’t do anything to me, and even if you do, it will be as small as pricking me with a needle. I am the man with the knife.”
He had stood up, and still, I felt no fear.
“Yes Trey, you may have the knife, but I have the pen, and you may not have heard this saying before, but the pen is more powerful than the sword.”
Trey looked confused as I nodded at Liz who took a deep breath and screamed,“NOW” signalling the police to swarm into the basement and handcuff Trey for the murder of my brother.
How did the police know, you ask?
; Well, when we were at my house, I wrote a note explaining to my parents what I was going to do and that they had to have the police at Trey’s house at a specific time, I left the letter on the kitchen counter while my mother was making dinner, and when we left the house, we ran so they couldn’t catch up with us.
Liz shouting ‘now’ was to let the police know that we had Trey in his most vulnerable state, confused, dumfounded, and right in front of the door to his room, where he was in easy reach of the men with cuffs.
The officers forced Trey out of his home as his mother watched.
“Mum, please, they’ve got it all wrong!” he cried, begging for her to do something.
“I can’t help you Trey. You’ve committed too many crimes; I have to let them take you.”
She was crying, and I knew how hard it must have been for her to let them take her son away, and I really respect her for that.
Once he was in the car, with his hands cuffed behind his back, he looked at me through the window of the police car. I had a sly smile on my face and mouthed the words ‘I won,’ but on the inside, I knew it wasn’t a game.
When the car that was taking him away was out of sight, I allowed myself to fall to the ground and let out the tears I had been holding in, and so desperately needed to let out. It was over. Liz got down on the floor beside me and put her arms around my shivering body.
I looked up at the dark sky and watched the stars twinkle; making the sky look like a black ceiling covered in fairy lights. I stared at the brightest one for what felt like forever. In that millisecond, I swear I could see Jacob, smiling down at me. Maybe it was just a figment of my imagination, or maybe it was real, but I didn’t care, because it was him.
Chapter 21 Finally, It’s All Over
Trey pleaded guilty in court, not just for killing Jacob, but a ton of other crimes too. There was no point lying, they had too much evidence.
Kaden was locked up too, as a rapist; Jaylin wasn’t the only girl he had scarred. The secure piece of evidence they had on him, other than the lie detector tests, was that his DNA was on my coat that night he touched me. The police obviously took my coat for forensic tests.