by Nora Shkodra
I really hope all the other girls Kaden has destroyed know that he is locked up, and they can stop living in fear of his return.
Jacob’s funeral was difficult, but luckily, I had all my loved ones around me. We were all dressed in black, from head to toe, tears streaming down everyone’s faces as we all gathered in the church to say our final farewells to my brother, best friend, and guide to goodness.
We all took turns to say our private goodbyes, standing over his casket. He was dressed in his favourite clothes, with a photograph of me, Liz and our parents, on the back it read ‘my favourite people in the world’ placed in between his hands that lay on his stomach.
More tears flowed down my face and dropped onto his body, making it look like he was the one crying, but he still looked dead, so pale, so still. I had to turn away and stop looking at him, it was too painful.
It’s not really him, that’s just his body, I reassured myself as I walked back to my front row seat as Liz whispered goodbye to the boy she had been in love with for such a short time.
When she was done, she came and sat beside me, sighing heavily. We didn’t speak, just stared at his casket.
When everyone had said their final farewells, the priest got up to say a prayer.
“We are gathered here today, in the presence of God, to say our final farewells, to Jacob Joseph Jones. A friend, a son, a lover, and a brother.”
Everyone laid their eyes on Liz when he said ‘lover’ and looked at me when he said ‘brother’. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat before they gave attention to the priest again.
“Here to say a few words, is Jacob’s twin sister, Amber.”
I inhaled deeply before standing up and walking to the podium. I spoke about how amazing my brother was, how we was the reason I was happy every day, and that he did not die in vain, but courageously just to save me.
His coffin was closed after many more people had said nice things about him. I couldn’t help but wonder if any of those people really knew him, the way I did, or did they just say kind words because he was dead?
His coffin was carried outside by my father, my uncle, and all his friends. They slowly lowered him into the ground as the priest said yet more prayers. We took turns pouring soil into his grave.
After the burial I walked up to Adam and tried to talk to him, but he just shook his head.
“Amber, I’m really sorry about Jacob, and I know this is horrible timing, but I just can’t have a girlfriend who’s so emotionally damaged. My band is just getting noticed so I need a girl who can support me, not someone I have to look after.”
He shrugged and turned around to walk back to his parents who
Finally, It’s All Over were watching us, along with my parents, but I wasn’t letting him go that easily. I tapped his shoulder as he started to walk away, when he turned around, I brought my hand up and smacked him across the face, hard.
The connection was loud, and when I removed my hand I saw I had left my hand print on his face. I hope it turns into a bruise I had thought to myself.
Both our parents had rushed up to us but I ignored their questions. “Emotionally damaged? You disgust me,” I spat at him, my voice probably sounded venomous and deadly, which was good, because that’s how I attempted to sound.
“I should have never asked you out in the first place,” he replied, making me raise my hand again, however my mother stopped me.
“He’s not worth it,” she said, causing me to lower it, although it still stayed clenched in a fist.
“You’re right Emily, he’s not. I’m so sorry Amber,” his mother said, and as we walk away, I see her grab a hold of his ear and twist it.
My parents and I walked back to the car with their arms around me.
“I never liked that kid anyway..” My Dad was trying to lighten the mood, but it didn’t work.
The drive back home was long and quiet. The silence was deafening, I couldn’t take it anymore, so I put my earphones in and played my music on full blast, turning the world off for a while. Family car rides were no longer fun and exciting, but dreadful and depressing.
When we got home, the house was dark, and dull. The walls echoed our voices, giving of an eerie silence, as if ghosts were present.
The house seemed empty without Jacob. None of us communicated with each other unless we had to. We walked around the house like zombies, drained of feeling.
I had missed a week of school; no one said anything about it. I had spent those seven days writing, and I had written some of my best work during that time. Also, I couldn’t handle bus rides alone. I wasn’t sad about Adam, he was just a bump on my road to success.
About a month or so later, I was finally okay again. We hadn’t really celebrated Christmas or my birthday; I couldn’t handle blowing out candles without my favourite companion.
Even though I was feeling better, I still missed Jacob, and thought about him every day.
My parents and I cleared out his room, each keeping some special things to remind us of the boy he was. I kept his PS3, XBox, and all his games. I started playing them to see what all the hype was about, and they were pretty entertaining. But none of it would beat my books. He’d kill me if he heard that.
In the midst of all of this, my mother found out she was pregnant again.
Jasmine was born in October, with brown hair and green eyes. She’s beautiful.
I dread that fact that she will grow up never knowing her big brother Jacob, but it’s kind of okay, because she has me to tell her all about him. And one night, as I held her in my arms, and watched her fall asleep, I promised myself I would do everything to keep her safe from the evil in this world.
Epilogue
I had waited exactly a year, before Lindsay Brown had finally got in contact with me.
She apologised, but everything was apparently hectic, but she had read my novels and wanted all of them published. However one would be out in shops every year, so they wouldn’t all get out at once. She said she was sorry to hear about my brother, and that he would be so proud of me.
I had to meet her boss at his office, sign some form with my parents, decide on front and back covers for the books, and agreed that the first one would be out in shops within weeks.
I can’t lie, I was genuinely happy, part of me still lived in sorrow, however there was nothing I could do about that, because part of me had died, but I was able to smile again without being fake, and it felt so good.
I can’t say life had gotten back to normal, it never will be the same again, but what I can say is that it was improving, and that is so much better than being sad every day.
Liz and I had decided on no boyfriends until University. Boys were way too much hassle and stress for our busy schedules, what with my book signings starting and Liz training with Olympic gold medallist swimmer, Rebecca Adlington.
Our dreams were coming true, for both of us, and I hope Jacob is up there in heaven, watching us, being as proud as ever.
I didn’t want to talk about Adam anymore, but I have to say, his musical career is going well for him, he has some international fans, and a few
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big gigs. Liz asked me if I wanted to go to one of them, I said I’d think about it, and I might go, just to show him that he didn’t leave me broken. I cannot lie, I have learnt a lot of things this past year or so, I could go on, and on, and on.
But, the most important one is that nothing stays terrible forever, even though it feels like it. Trust me. Life sometimes just gets tired of being fabulous all the time, and doesn’t go the way you planned for it to. Give it time, and patience, because the sun will shine again.
Also, I wish I could go back in time and do things differently as much as I want to, but that’s impossible.
So, all I’m going to say is, if you are involved in gang violence, or you know someone who is, tell somebody.
Tell anyone, friends, siblings, parents, teachers, anyone.
You may be calle
d a coward, or a ‘snitch’ but none of those words matter when being referred to as a snitch means saving someone’s life, you should be willing to take a million words like that, because by letting people know, you become a hero.
See you again soon!
About the Author
I was born in a hospital not far from my house, on 30th September 1999. I live in a two bedroom flat with my two older sisters and parents. I can speak Albanian, because my parents are from Kosovo, and that was the language they spoke to me as a child. I am hoping to one day learn French and live in Paris with a view of the Eiffel Tower. I have lived in the exact same place my whole life and I have seen the same scenery far too many times. Boredom led me to write . I write stories of the life I wish I had and as a result I had to face new challenges everyday, but in the end, I was always the hero. Writing showed me that I don’t need to complain to let out my emotions.