Heavenly Desire

by J. L. Sheppard

  Then he kissed her fiercely and passionately for how much he’d missed her and how long they’d been apart, and he didn’t think about anything but her—Ashley. She was everything he never knew he always wanted and needed to fulfill his existence.

  With her lips on his, everything was right and nothing else mattered—only his Ashley.

  In that instant, he realized he would never let her go, mate or not. He would give up his wings and heaven for her, a woman he loved but would never truly belong to him, a woman he could never keep. He’d fall and be banished from the only home he’d ever known, but he could never give her up. He’d keep her, enjoy her and love her as long as he could.

  When the inevitable happened and she found her mate, he wouldn’t interfere. He’d continue to watch her, protect her and guard her from a distance. He loved her enough to let her go, to want her happiness above his own. Even if it killed him, he’d allow her to move on with her life with another, but the memory of her in his arms would live in him forever. She was his one and only love.

  “I’ll love you forever, angel.” He lingered on her lips.

  With the flood of desire violently gushing inside him and his pulse jack hammering at the base of his neck, in sync with hers, he held still. His eyes scanned the contours of her beautiful flushed face as small gasps of air escaped her swollen lips.

  She drew him toward her, wrapping her arms around him and pressed the fullness of her mouth against his. He delved into her mouth and explored her languidly, unable to help himself, unable to stop.

  He fisted her hair in his hands, then cupped her cheeks, caressing her lightly. Greedy to feel every inch of her, he then trailed his hands down her body enjoying her figure as his lips grazed her neck.

  “Clyde…” she moaned in pleasure.

  He felt the press of her cool fingertips under the hem of his shirt heating his flesh, the simple touch making his shaft pulse.

  He feathered kisses toward her lips, then thoroughly explored her mouth with his tongue. She wrapped her hand around his neck encouraging him then pressed her chest against his, her nipples puckering against him.

  His desire for her stirred to new heights, zapping every cell and flowing through his blood until the blinding passion and desperate longing inside him was all he felt.

  He growled then ripped her shirt down the middle. Her gasp drew his attention. Her eyes wide in panic, she dislodged her hand from his hair and drew the blanket to conceal her pink lace bra.

  “Don’t…the scars…”

  “You are beautiful, Ashley. How many times must I tell you?”

  Slowly, he placed his hands over hers. She released the blanket. He pulled it down and let his gaze drift down her neck, chest and stomach. He leaned against her until she lay flat on her back. Hovering over her, he kissed her lips softly hoping to assure her then descended, kissing her neck, down the center of her body.

  Her soft moans encouraged him to continue. His lips reached the four-inch scar above her belly button. He feathered light kisses on it then dragged his tongue over it. She tensed.

  He grazed his fingers over her breasts and felt shivers flutter across her skin. He suckled and licked every inch of her stomach relishing her taste, as heavenly as he suspected.

  The need inside him grew with every flick of his tongue. Desperate for more, he grasped her bra and ripped it at the center revealing her breasts. He feasted his eyes on her luscious form.

  Delicate, beautiful Ashley.

  She gasped as his hands roamed freely down her sides, and he placed his lips over her nipple, closing his eyes to fully enjoy the taste of her flesh. She moaned loudly and wrapped her legs around him. Her lithe body vibrated with need as he suckled one breast then the other, softly then more forcefully. Her wanting scent wafted into his nostrils, intoxicating him. Painfully, his shaft jerked.

  He lifted himself from their embrace, tugging off her pants and revealing a lace pink thong. His gaze flickered over her, admiring every curve of his Ashley.

  Beautiful. Breathtakingly beautiful.

  “Clyde?”

  His eyes drew away from her body toward her coffee-colored eyes glimmering with need. She sat up, pulling a blanket over herself, shielding her body from him.

  A spark of anger muddled his desire, anger for everyone who’d never made her realize how truly beautiful she was.

  “Ashley, don’t,” he said firmly. “Don’t hide yourself from me.”

  Still he felt her hesitation, so he cupped her face tenderly. Staring deep into those deep brown eyes, he said, “You are beautiful. When will you believe me?”

  She shook her head, then attempted to look away from him. He held her still, then reached for her hand and placed it over his throbbing shaft. It jerked from her touch.

  “Do you feel how much I want you? I’ve never wanted any other woman—ever.”

  The tension in her dissolving, he released her hand. Slowly, she lay down and uncovered her body. His eyes lit with praise admiring the beauty in her form.

  He leaned over her pressing his cock against her through his jeans and her panties, feeling the moist warmth emanating from it. His whole body shook. She lifted her pelvis and slid it along his shaft making his need unbearable. He groaned.

  The tearing of his shirt drew his attention away from her lips. He smiled as he kissed her again. Her fingers grazed his chest heating his skin and creating havoc inside him. He removed his torn shirt, and she replaced her hand with her tongue. Her lips kissed and licked him tenderly making him so crazed he thought he’d die with desire.

  “Off,” she whispered, unbuckling his jeans.

  He couldn’t argue. He did her bidding quickly tossing his jeans aside, then mounted her, pressing himself against her, then trailed kisses down her neck, stomach then lower toward her hips. Pulling off her undies, the scent of her desire overwhelmed him, revving him to continue.

  He placed his lips over her core. She tasted sweet, sultry, like a dream. She moaned loudly, running her fingers through his hair, egging him on. He softly flicked his tongue against her sensitive flesh at first, then faster. Her heels dug into his back. Her body erupted in shivers and shook as an orgasm overwhelmed her.

  “Clyde!” she screamed, digging her fingers into the muscles in his shoulders.

  He didn’t stop, continuing his assault until her body trembled anew, another orgasm taking over her body and mind. He smiled satisfied with the pleasure he’d wrought in her.

  With the remnants of her taste still on his lips, he claimed her mouth and delved in. As he pressed his body against hers, she arched her back, then pulled down his boxers. He ran his hand along her body down toward her core.

  Briefly breaking away from his kiss, she whispered, “I’m scared. This…this is my first time.”

  He felt the blood drain from his face. The desire clouding his judgment lifted. First time? What was he doing? Taking what was meant for her mate! He couldn’t, he wouldn’t. He pulled away from her and sat, running his fingers through his hair.

  “No. You can’t. You can’t leave me like this.” Her voice shook with heartfelt emotion.

  It hurt him to hear it. It would hurt more to see it in her eyes, but he had no choice. His eyes sought hers intent on explaining. “Ash, I can’t—”

  She sat up, closing the distance between them. He shut his eyes knowing the closer she was, the less will he had.

  “Look at me,” she pleaded.

  He shook his head, clenching his jaw tightly. “I love you, Ashley, but I can’t. You should save yourself for your mate.”

  “It’s my decision. I chose you.”

  His eyes snapped open, then her mouth slammed against his. She nibbled on his lips resparking his desire for her. He had no will to fight.

  She pulled away, placing her forehead against his, she whispered, “Please, I want you to be my first…”

  He loved her, loved her so much he would give up heaven for her, damning his soul. He would make love to
her because he was a selfish bastard and because until his last breath he’d give her whatever she desired.

  Swallowing past the lump in his throat, he said, “It’s my first time too, Ash. I’ve never dreamt or wondered what it would be like to kiss, caress or make love to woman until you.”

  Her eyes misted. He kissed her lids then lips softly, thinking his heart would burst with emotion, with love for his Ashley.

  “I want you, Clyde. I…need you.”

  He stared into her eyes, hazy with need then ran his hand through her soft hair. Claiming her lips, he pulled her against him and settled her against the bed. He trailed his hands down her body until he reached the wetness of her core and played with her folds. She was so soft, so delicate.

  Groaning, he slid his finger inside her, breaking her seal, loving he was the first. She moaned, arching her back breaking away from his kiss.

  “Please…Clyde,” she whispered, placing her hands on his hips and led him toward the entrance of her core.

  He pressed against her tenderly, entering her, her walls clenching around him, intense pleasure rippling through him. Passion, desire and love for her overwhelmed him, like nothing he had ever experienced, better than anything and everything.

  This is heaven. Ashley. My heaven is her.

  He kissed her reverently, passionately then broke away from the kiss to stare into her eyes. He wanted to remember her face flush with desire for him as it was this moment—their first time.

  He pulled out of her, then glided into her core again. Her eyes widened, and they moaned in unison.

  He forced himself to stop. The muscles in his shoulders bulged and shook with his restraint. “Does it…hurt?” he asked softly.

  “No,” she said. “More…”

  He gripped her hips and slid into her attempting to keep his slow pace despite the growing need inside him to go faster and make her scream with desire. She moaned again, louder, and his attempts were lost.

  He pumped into her desperately, repeatedly. Each time using more force until her screams of pleasure were ingrained in his soul. His need and hers continued to build then the moment came, so lost in desire, in pleasure, their bodies convulsed against each other, writhing in ecstasy with their release. His heart soaring, he watched her in the throes of passion as his own consumed him.

  I’ll never get enough, he thought then collapsed on top of her gasping for breath.

  “Angel, did I… Was I too rough?” he asked, a tremor of fear in his tone.

  She smiled, shook her head, then said, “I love you, Clyde. I’ll never love another but you.”

  He was overwhelmed by her confession, their moment and his love. “I love you. I always will.”

  Shifting himself to her side, he held her as close as possible. He didn’t release her even after her breaths slowed, and she was asleep.

  He wouldn’t sleep. He couldn’t if he’d tried. While his soul and heart were soothed with her presence, his mind was in turmoil.

  He wasn’t her mate; nonetheless, he’d given in to his desire. She loved him, and he loved her. He’d been wrong to give in, but nothing in the world could have prevented him from denying her. He would stay with her, care for her and love her until she pushed him away, until she found her mate. He’d lose his wings. He’d be damned, but once he lost Ashley, nothing would matter much.

  With those thoughts running through his mind, he placed his hand over her body and watched as white light descended over her, enveloping the scars until they were wiped away.

  He healed her because he loved her, but above all because she was beautiful and deserved to feel it too.

  Chapter 15

  Ashley stirred in her sleep. The warmth and heat of Clyde’s arms wrapped around her emanated through her. It hadn’t been a dream. The emotion and passion from last night had been real. He desired her just as intensely as she desired him. He loved her and had made love to her for hours, evoking sensations in her no one ever had.

  She smiled at the memory, tightening her arms around him. Pressing her body against him, she felt his erection throb against her stomach. When her eyes slid open, his face was the first thing she saw. A beautiful sight, staring into his intense sapphire gaze, his dark hair disheveled and unkempt.

  “Good morning, angel.” His eyes appeared to sparkle as a soft smile spread across his lips, making her feel like he, too, enjoyed the comfort of waking beside her. He kissed her forehead, then her lips softly.

  “Good morning,” she whispered. “But I’m not the angel, you are.”

  “You are my angel, Ashley.” He paused briefly weaving his fingers through her hair. “We should get up. You have to eat.”

  “But—”

  He placed his lips over hers, silencing her rebuttal. Whatever she wanted to say was now forgotten. Desire for him, to have him again overwhelmed her. Parting her mouth, her tongue met his. She rubbed her hands down his chest, then he suddenly gripped her shoulders and pulled her away, leaving her slightly baffled.

  “Trust me. I want you,” he said as if reading her mind. “But you have to eat.”

  And suddenly she remembered what she’d wanted to say before he’d kissed her. I’ll never win any arguments if he kisses me every time I’m about to disagree. Still she left the words unsaid. He had a point; she was half-past starved.

  Reluctantly, she pulled away from him and remembered he had ripped her clothes the night before. Her cheeks flushed at the thought of walking across the room naked. She stood quickly and walked toward her closet.

  Once inside, she glanced at herself in the mirror. Her jaw dropped. She shook her head unable to believe her eyes.

  Her scars were gone.

  Sure it was an illusion, her mind playing tricks on her, her gaze roamed up and down her body. I’m imagining this. I am. This isn’t possible.

  She strode toward the mirror until she was inches from it and blinked several times. Still the scars didn’t appear. She glanced down at herself again, and still, they were gone.

  “Oh my God,” she whispered. “Clyde!”

  He barged into her closet, gloriously naked. For a moment, she forgot about her scars as she stared at his chiseled chest, broad shoulders, erect shaft then her eyes strayed to his handsome face.

  I want him, she thought then shook her head. She managed to say, “The scars…do you see them?”

  “No,” he said, smiling widely.

  Her chest tightened. She knew. He didn’t have to tell her it had been him, it was. He’d healed her, so he wouldn’t have to look at the scars because, as she had feared, they repulsed him.

  She felt every bit the fool. She should’ve never believed him. No one would believe she was beautiful. No one would accept her with her scars.

  Her eyes welling with tears, she stated, “You did this.” She didn’t let him speak. “Why? Because you couldn’t stand to look at them?”

  He wiped the smile off his face. “No, I—” He started to speak, but she cut him off.

  “You are repulsed by them. I knew it. You lied. I knew you couldn’t believe I was beautiful. Did you lie about everything else, too? Do you even love m-me?” she asked, her voice cracking.

  “No, angel, I’ve never lied. You are beautiful.”

  “You’re lying! I know it!” she screamed, panic overwhelming her.

  Clyde took a step in her direction. “I am not,” he said firmly. “I would never lie to you.”

  “Then why?”

  “Because I wanted you to see yourself through someone else’s eyes, through my eyes. I never see the scars. I just see you.” He paused, then took another step toward her. “I wanted you to feel beautiful because you are.”

  She placed her hand over her mouth. Simultaneously he closed the remaining distance between them and embraced her, holding her close. She buried her face in his chest.

  “I’m sorry… I thought—”

  “Shh…” he whispered. “It’s okay. I know, angel.”

  ****


  Clyde firmly held Ashley’s hand in his grasp as they entered the gymnasium. The heat and soothing touch vanished when she released him and strode briskly toward the back of the gym. His eyes followed her and narrowed when he spotted her destination.

  She was headed straight for the bitter demon, Jacob, taking out his frustration on life by slamming his fists against a punching bag. When she neared, Jacob stopped and smiled at her.

  Clyde breathed deeply attempting to control his jealousy and rising temper.

  “Calm down,” Lucas warned.

  He spared a glance beside him, quickly meeting the amused gazes of Lucas and Landon.

  “They’re just friends,” Landon added.

  “He smiled,” he said through clenched teeth, “…at my Ashley.”

  “Oh boy,” Landon said, chuckling. “You’ll have a harder time with this than I did.”

  Clyde glared in his direction.

  “You should understand better than anyone else,” Lucas said. “Jenna has you.”

  “This is different,” he snapped.

  “Why, ‘cause it’s happening to you?” Lucas crossed his arms over his chest. “Don’t you remember how hard you made it for Jenna?”

  Clyde had made Lucas’s life a living hell, telling Jenna Lucas couldn’t be hers, pushing her away from him while he knew the opposite was true, but this was different. Lucas knew angels didn’t mate, that Jenna could never be his.

  “Don’t worry. They all have their friends. Joce has Cain, but we’re their mates. It drove me crazy at first when she got too close to him or hugged him or… Fuck!” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “Who am I kidding? It still drives me crazy.”

  “It helps once their friends mate,” Lucas said, lifting a brow. “Like now I know Ashley’s yours, it doesn’t bother me as much.”

  “Any idea when Cain’s gonna find his?” Landon asked.

  Clyde shook his head, darted his eyes to Landon then snapped, “You’re an idiot.” He bit his tongue to prevent himself from revealing Cain had found his mate, and it was his sister, Olivia. He shouldn’t involve himself in Cain’s love life. If the demon hadn’t told Olivia, then he must have his reasons.