by Robyn Carr
“But what I want to know is, will you ever be willing to risk it again?” she asked.
“Yes, and I look forward to it,” he answered.
“You’re just plain crazy! A glutton for punishment!”
“No, I’m reformed. I always heard it was a good idea to fall in love with your best friend and I bought that. I thought if you could meet someone you really liked and she also turned you on, all the mysteries of life were solved. I still think you’d better be good, trusted friends with the person you marry, but by God, there had better be some mind-blowing passion. Not like when you’re sixteen and carry your brain in your... Well, you know. But next time, and there will be a next time, I want it all—someone I like a lot, trust, someone I respect and love and someone I want so bad I’m almost out of my mind.”
“Do you think you’ll ever find that?” Sunny asked.
“The important thing is that I won’t settle for less. Now, you’ve had a year to think about it—what’s your conclusion about what happened?”
She pursed her lips and frowned, looked down for a second, then up. “I was about to marry the wrong guy and he bolted before he could make the biggest mistake of his life. But don’t look at me to thank him for it—the mess he left was unbelievable. Over a hundred gifts had to be returned, my parents had paid for invitations, a designer gown, flowers and several big dinners—including the reception dinner. Flowers were distributed to the wedding party so they wouldn’t just be wasted... It was horrendous.”
“Have you ever wondered,” he asked her, “what one thing would make that whole nightmare a blessing in disguise?”
“I can’t imagine!” she said.
Funniest thing, he thought. Before tonight, neither could I.
He moved very slowly, scooting closer to her. He lifted the glass of brandy out of her hand and placed both hers and his on the coffee table. He put his hands on her waist and pulled her closer, leaning his lips toward hers. He hovered just over hers, waiting for a sign that she felt something, too; at least a stirring, a curiosity, that would be enough for now. Then slowly, perhaps reluctantly, her hands slid up his arms to his shoulders and that was just what he needed. He covered her mouth with his in a hot, searing kiss. He wanted to see her face when he kissed her, but he let his eyelids close and allowed his hands to wander around to her back, pulling her chest harder against his, just imagining what more could happen between them.
The kiss was warm and wet and caused his heart to thump. He’d had quite a few brief fantasies linked to desires. Earlier, out by the Christmas tree in town, he’d had a vision of kissing her and then licking his way down her belly to secret parts that would respond to him with powerful satisfaction. He wanted nothing as much as to lie in her arms, skin on skin, and explore every small corner of her beautiful body.
But that wasn’t going to happen now. Not tonight. Not tomorrow.
He pulled away reluctantly.
“I haven’t been kissed in a year,” she whispered. “I had decided I wasn’t ever going to be kissed again. It was too dangerous.”
“No danger here, Sunny. And you’ll be happy to know you haven’t lost your touch. You’re very good at it.” He looked into those hypnotic blue eyes as he pushed a lock of her hair over her ear. “If I had married Penny, if Glen had shown up when he was supposed to, I wouldn’t be kissing you now. And I have to tell you, Sunny, I can’t remember ever feeling so good about a kiss...”
She could only sigh and let her eyes drift closed. “We are a bad combination,” she whispered.
“I can’t believe that...”
“Oh, believe it.” She opened her eyes. “You were a guy who just went along with what a woman wanted and I was a woman who, without even thinking about it too much, pushed a man into a great big wedding he didn’t want.” She swallowed and her eyes glistened. “I hate to admit this to anyone, but Glen kept telling me things—like he just wasn’t comfortable with the size of that wedding, and he wasn’t sure our work schedules would be good for us, or this or that. I told him not to worry, but I never changed anything. I kept saying I couldn’t—that photographers work weekends. But that’s not really true, they don’t have to work every weekend. Portraits for events like anniversaries and engagements can be done before the parties are held, belly shots and babies can be done on weekdays. But the important thing is that until five minutes ago, I wasn’t willing to admit our breakup had anything to do with me. And I might be admitting it to you because I’ll probably never see you again.”
“Listen—I might have been a go-along kind of guy, but I was never that spineless. Glen let it go too far. He doesn’t get off that easy.”
She gave him a weak smile. “I’m glad I met you. I didn’t want to meet a guy, get to know a guy, and I sure didn’t want to like a guy, but... Well, I’m not sorry.”
“You know what that means, don’t you?”
She shook her head.
“After you go through something like a bad breakup and you meet someone new, you check it out and you either find someone better for you, or you recognize right off that you haven’t found the right one yet. But at least you keep moving forward until the guy and the life that’s right for you comes into focus. And until that happens, we get to kiss.”
“You’re an opportunist. I could smell it on you the second I met you.”
“Now you call your uncle and tell him about the deer accident, tell him we’re safe and warm and I’ll be looking for a tow truck in the morning. If you want him to, you can ask him if he’ll come and rescue you. He can come now or later. A little later or much, much later. You could even stay the night, if you felt like it.”
“No I couldn’t,” she said with a laugh.
“Then will you ask him to wait till after midnight? It’s not that far off.”
“I think I’ll just wait awhile to call,” she said. “If I know my uncle, he’ll be on the road as soon as he gets my call.”
That made Drew smile. “I know I’m probably a poor substitute for the guy you wanted to be kissing at midnight, but—”
“Actually, Dr. Foley, I think maybe you’re a big improvement. And I might’ve gone a long time without knowing that.”
* * *
Sunny waited a little bit and then called her uncle, letting him know where she was, what had happened and that she was fine. While she was on the phone, Drew quickly downloaded the pictures of the bloody deer onto his laptop and deleted them from her camera. Then, while the fire roared, they sat on the leather sofa, very close together, with their feet propped up on the ottoman. At times their legs were on top of each other’s. They kissed now and then. Other times they talked. Sunny didn’t say too much more about Glen, and she didn’t want to hear any more about Penny.
She didn’t tell him that Glen wasn’t always nice to her. Oh, it went a bit further than the comment about the wide hips. Glen was the kind of guy who stayed out too late “unwinding” after work, criticized her appearance as being not sexy enough for his tastes and when they did have time together, he was never happy with how they were going to spend it—almost as if he’d rather she be working. She had thought about snatching his phone and looking at old text messages, listening to voice mails, but she was a little afraid of what she might find so she convinced herself she was being paranoid. By the time she realized it wasn’t such a positive match, she was wearing a ring and had made deposits on wedding stuff.
It was too late.
But what she did want to ask Drew was, “What makes you think you’ll do any better the next time you have a relationship?”
He turned to her with a smile and said, “Good! I really wanted you to ask me that.” He ran the knuckle of his index finger along her cheek. “Do you have any idea what attracts men and women to each other?”
She just shook her head. “I thought it was a learned
behavior....”
“Maybe, but I bet it’s more. I bet it’s a real primal mating thing that has no logical explanation. Like you see someone and right away, bam, you gotta be with that person. And I bet sometimes all the other elements fall into place, and sometimes they don’t. That kind of unexplainable thing—you see a woman on the other side of the room and your heart just about leaps out of your chest. You go brain-dead and you’re on automatic. All of a sudden you’re walking over to her and you don’t know why, you just know you have to get closer. Everything about her pulls you like a magnet. You feel kind of stupid but you just walk up to her and say, ‘Hi, my name is Drew’ and hope for the best, even though she’s looking at you like you’re an idiot.”
“Slick,” she said. “Have you actually been able to use that technique very often?”
“I’ve never even tried it before, I swear. Listen, it’s kind of embarrassing to admit this, but that never happened with Penny. It was comfortable, nice, that’s all. No fireworks, no mind-blowing passion...”
“But you said it was good with her! You said sex was good.”
“I might be kind of easy to please in that department. The worst sex I ever had was actually pretty good. I want what else there is! How did what’s-his-name reel you in?” he asked.
Yo. Me and you!
“He wasn’t too slick, as a matter of fact. He thought he was. I never told him his great pickup line didn’t impress me. Thing was, he was cute. And I worked all the time. I hadn’t been out on a date in a long time and he was...” She shrugged. “Handsome and interested.” She tilted her head and smiled at him. “I think I’m telling you all these things because you’re safe.”
His large hand closed over her shoulder. “I don’t want to be safe,” he said. “And I want to see you again.”
“Want to go off, live our solitary lives and meet back here for New Year’s Eve every year...kind of like a take-off on Same Time, Next Year?”
“Did you know what Jack had planned for midnight?” Drew asked. “Did you write your resolution?”
She shook her head, then nodded. “I wrote that I had to stay away from men. He put it in the fishbowl.”
“At midnight everyone was going to pull out a resolution, ending up with someone else’s. Really corny, don’t you think?” he asked her, reaching into the pocket of his jeans. “It’s going to be for laughs, not for real. Some skinny girl could get a resolution to lose twenty pounds. But I wrote this one before I knew much about you.” He presented a slip of paper. “Look, Sunny—it’s midnight.”
“No, it’s not,” she said. “It’s like three minutes till.”
“We can stretch it out,” he said, handing her the paper. “I have no idea why I stuck this in my pocket. I put a different one in the fishbowl.”
She took it, opened it and read, “Start the new year by giving a new guy a chance.”
Her cheeks got a little pink. She was flattered, she was feeling lusty and attracted, but... “But, Drew, I’m not going to see you again.”
“If you want to, you will...”
“You’re just looking for a replacement fiancée,” she said. “And long-distance relationships are even harder to keep going than the close kind.”
“We can start with football tomorrow. I have beer and wings. Unfortunately I have no car, but I bet you can wrangle one from the uncle.”
“That’s cute, but—”
“It’s midnight,” he said, closing in on her. His lips hovered right over hers. “Sunny, you just do something to me.”
“Thanks,” she said weakly. “Really, thanks. I needed to think I was actually attractive to someone.”
“You’re way more than that,” he said, covering her mouth in a deep and powerful kiss. He put his arms around her waist and pulled her onto his lap, holding her against him. His head tilted to get a deeper fit over her mouth, their tongues played, her fingers threaded into his hair. At long last their lips parted. “Let’s just give it a try, see where it goes.”
“Can’t work. I live in the south. L.A. area....”
“Me, too.”
She jumped, startled. She slid off his lap. “You said Chico...”
“No, I didn’t. My family is in Chico. I lived there while I went to med school, while I dated Penny, but I don’t live there anymore. I’m in residency at UCLA Medical.”
She slid away from him. “Uh-oh...”
He shook his head. “I’m just saying we keep getting to know each other, that’s all. Neither one of us is likely to keep moving forward in a relationship that doesn’t feel good. We’re wiser—we know too much now. But for God’s sake, Sunny, what if it’s good? You gonna walk away from that?”
“I don’t want to take any chances!”
“I don’t blame you,” he said. “It’s midnight. Kiss in a new year. And just think about it.”
She looked into his eyes for a long moment, then she groaned and put the palms of her hands on his bristly cheeks and planted a good, wide, hot one on his mouth.
Against her open mouth he said, “Yeah!” Then he moved against her mouth, holding her tight, breathing her in, memorizing the taste of her.
A car horn penetrated the night. “Awww,” he groaned. “Your uncle broke every speed limit in Humboldt and Trinity Counties.”
“I told him to stay at Jack’s till midnight, but I knew he wouldn’t listen,” she said. She pulled away from him, slid down the couch and reached to the floor for her boots. Without looking at him she said, “Listen, thanks. Really, thanks. I needed to drop the rage for a while, have a real conversation with a guy, test the waters a little bit. Kiss—I needed to kiss.” She zipped the first boot. Then she looked at him. “I’m just not ready for more.”
“But you will be,” he said. “I can hang loose until you’re more comfortable.”
“I’ll think about that,” she said, reaching for the other boot.
The horn sounded again.
“He’s going to be pounding on the door real soon,” she said, zipping the boot.
“Will you come back tomorrow?” he asked.
She shook her head. “I need to think. Please understand.”
“But how will I find you? How will you find me?”
“Doesn’t Jack know your family? Don’t they know where you are?”
He grabbed her just as the horn blasted another time. He held her upper arms firmly but not painfully, and looked deeply into her eyes. “The second I saw you I lost my mind and wanted to sit right down by you and talk to you. I wanted a lot more than that, but I’m no caveman. Sunny, all I want is to know more about you, to know if there’s an upside to our mistakes—like maybe the right ones were meant to come along just a little later. I’d hate to stomp on a perfectly good spark if it’s meant to be a big, strong, healthy flame. I—”
There was a pounding at the door.
Sunny sighed and pulled herself from his grip. “Well, here’s a bright side for you,” she said. “I’m going to kill my uncle.”
Seven
Sunny threw open the door and glared at her uncle Nathaniel. “Not real patient, are you?”
Nate had his hands plunged into his jacket pockets to keep warm. He glared back. “A—you didn’t go where you said you were going to go. And B—you didn’t come out when I honked. Something could have been wrong!”
“A—I’m twenty-five and can change my plans when it suits me. And B—something could have been right!” She turned toward Drew. “Thank you for everything. I’ll get this lunatic out of here.”
“Sunny,” Drew said. “UCLA Medical. Orthopedics Residency. I stand out like a sore thumb. I’m the one the senior residents are whipping and screaming at.”
She smiled at him. “I’ll remember. I promise.”
Sunny grabbed her j
acket, her camera bag and pulled the door closed behind her as she left. Nathaniel let her pass him on the porch. She stomped a little toward the truck until her skinny heels stuck into the snow-covered drive and she had to stop to pull them out.
“Must’ve been tough, walking from that wrecked car to the cabin in those boots,” Nate observed.
She glared over her shoulder at him. “He carried me.”
“Are you kidding me?” Nate said. “It was two miles!”
“Piggyback,” she said, trying to balance her weight on the balls of her feet until she got to the truck. She pulled herself up into the backseat of the extended cab with a grunt.
Annie, who sat in the front of the truck, had her arms crossed over her chest. When she looked into the backseat, there was a frown on her face. “Are you all right?” she asked grimly.
“Of course, I’m all right,” Sunny said. “Are you angry with me, too?”
“Of course not! I’m angry with Nathaniel!”
“Because...?”
“Because you were laughing with Drew Foley and I didn’t want to crash your party!”
Sunny laughed lightly. “Oh, you two,” she said. “It wasn’t a party,” she said just as her uncle was getting behind the wheel. “It was supposed to be a tour of the cabin, but it turned into a deer accident and a two-mile trek. Poor Drew. He had to carry me because of my stupid boots.”
“But were you ready to leave?” Annie asked, just as Nate put the truck in gear.
No, Sunny thought. Not nearly ready. She loved everything about Drew—his voice, his gentle touch, his empathy for kids and animals, his scent.... Oh, his scent, his lips, his taste. But she said, “Yeah, sure. Thanks for coming for me. Sorry if I was a bother.”
“Sorry if I was a lunatic,” Nate said, turning the truck around. “I have a feeling if I have daughters, Annie will have to be in charge.”