A Real Disaster

by Molly Ryan

  And he also thought I was sexy... Then there was Turner. He was fun, exciting, and always knew how to laugh. Our first date started off great and I was sure it would have ended just as great if I hadn’t gotten sick. I wanted to get to know Turner better.

  So there I was, alone in the shower, wondering how in the world I had managed to get myself into the predicament that I was in. How did a girl, who came to college knowing nothing about relationships, of guys in general, manage to get involved with not just one but two guys? Sworn enemies to that fact?

  Chapter Seven

  The first day of classes…

  Dreadful.

  Usually I would be jumping up and down, ready to start learning. I was one of the few who loved school, loved learning, and didn’t mind getting homework. All the way through high school I would do the assignments given to me and then some. I handed in extra credit on things that the teachers didn’t ask for. I would read text books for fun and write essays on literature that was well over the high school level. Why? I had no idea. It was fun to me. Sure, on the weekend I would hang out with my friends, but if I was honest with myself I would say that I would have rather been at my house, alone and studying, then out with other people.

  Today, though, I was not excited for classes to start. My nerves had been on edge ever since the night with Nash and Turner. Turner tried to get a hold of me but every time he called I would ignore it and whenever we bumped into each other, which was more than I liked, I would think of some kind of excuse. He was getting suspicious, that much I knew, but I couldn’t be around him or Nash.

  They were both corrupting my mind. I knew I needed to keep all my concentration on school if I wanted to keep my scholarships.

  I packed my backpack with great care, mostly stalling, while Sabrina fixed up her make up in the mirror. She, as usual, looked perfect while I still felt like a child playing dress up. I knew I would get used to wearing my new clothes sooner or later. Somehow they attracted Nash and Turner and I didn’t need to attract any more guys.

  “What’s wrong?” Sabrina suddenly asked. “You look sick.”

  “No I’m fine,” I said but frowned.

  “Right, because you look so fine. You look amazing actually.”

  Sarcasm dripped from her words as she turned to me. She stuck her make up in her pocket and went to her own bag.

  “Why have you been cock blocking Turner?” I nearly choked on the gum that I was chewing.

  “Excuse me?” I asked, stunned. “What are you talking about?”

  “You’re cock blocking him,” Sabrina accused. “You went on the one date with him, got sick, and now you’re not talking to him. Are you embarrassed or something?”

  “Embarrassed of what? What should I be embarrassed about?”

  “I don’t know, the fact that you got sick or the fact that you can’t hold your liquor. You could be upset about anything…”

  “I’m not embarrassed or upset.”

  “Then what is it? Why aren’t you returning his calls or anything?”

  “Maybe I don’t want to give him false hope,” I told her. “Maybe I’m just not into him like that and I’m trying to let him down but he’s just not getting it. Maybe I just need to concentrate on school.”

  “No that’s not it. You’re attracted to Turner, I can tell, but something is holding you back. What is it? Are you ashamed of being a virgin?”

  “Yeah,” I said, finding my way out. “He’s probably been with a ton of girls.”

  I prayed that it would be the end of the conversation. I was hoping that, since Sabrina got answers she obviously needed, she would drop the subject.

  No such luck.

  “Well then obviously you don’t know guys very well.”

  Sabrina walked over to me, her skirt swishing against her waist and thighs.

  “Guys love to be a girl’s first. It makes them feel more important or something. You tell Turner you’re a virgin and he’ll cum in his pants before he even sees you naked.”

  I had a feeling that Sabrina was being a little eccentric but I didn’t want to ask.

  “Seriously, Lily, tell Turner you’re a virgin and you will have him wrapped around your finger in no time.”

  “Jesus Sabrina. That will be my decision. Please don’t go gossiping to Turner about what I told you. I don’t want him to know anything unless I decide to tell him, okay?”

  Sabrina ran her fingers over her lips in a zippered motion.

  “You’re secret is safe with me,” Sabrina said.

  Yeah but for how long?

  I didn’t want to imagine what would happen if Sabrina told Turner what I told her. Not only was it too personal for anyone else to know, it was also a lie. But I didn’t want anyone to know how I lost mine.

  “I have to go or I’m going to be late,” I said and I zipped my backpack up. “See you tonight.”

  “See ya,” Sabrina called out as I left the room, closing the door behind me.

  “Hey.”

  I jumped and turned to my left only to see Turner staring at me. His hair was wet and his eyes were shining.

  “Damn Turner, you scared the shit out of me,” I said.

  Dear God I hoped he didn’t hear our conversation.

  “What the hell are you doing here?”

  “Waiting for you. I thought I would walk you to class.”

  “Why didn’t you knock?” I asked.

  “I just got here,” Turner said. “I was about to knock when I noticed the door opening.”

  I breathed a sigh of relief. If Turner truly did just get to the door then there was no way that he could have heard anything.

  “Sorry for scaring you.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” I said. “But I didn’t expect you here.”

  “I know,” Turner said, “But you’ve been so busy lately that I figured that this was the only way that I could see you.”

  “Yeah, sorry about that. Getting ready for classes and all.”

  The two of us stepped into the elevator and rode it down in silence. When the door opened I gasped. Standing in front of us was Nash. He was talking to a girl and they were laughing animatedly. My stomach knotted in jealousy… A walk back to the dorms with him and this was happening to me.

  I’m not going to be jealous.

  I’m not going to be jealous.

  I’m not going to be jealous.

  Who was the girl and why was he laughing with her? Was he involved with her? No strings, no problems, I reminded myself. I wasn’t looking for a relationship. It doesn’t matter who she is or what they’re doing together.

  I was jealous.

  Suddenly Nash turned and our eyes met. I could hear Turner yammering on about something next to me but the words were muffled and incoherent. My gaze went into tunnel vision as Nash and I stared at each other.

  “Hey, you’re Lily, right?” Nash said finally.

  I furrowed my eyebrows but Nash winked secretly.

  “Yeah that’s Lily,” Turner said for me. “What’s it to you?”

  “It’s nothing,” Nash said smoothly. “I just remember her being with you the other night and I wanted to say hi.”

  “Well you did and now you can leave,” Turner hissed.

  I rolled my eyes at Turner’s anger. The other girl looked at me and I shrugged, feigning ignorance when it came to the two boys.

  “Come on, Lily, let’s go. I don’t want to be late.”

  “What class do you have?” Nash asked.

  He stepped in front of me, blocking me from moving on with Turner.

  “Introduction to Psychology. We both have it, Turner and I.”

  “What a coincidence, I have it too,” Nash said and my jaw dropped.

  He had to be kidding me.

  “I was walking Anna over there back to the dorms and I was going to go. I guess I’ll see you there.”

  “I guess so,” I muttered.

  Nash stepped out of the way and let me pass which I did quic
kly. When Turner and I finally made it through the doors Turner growled.

  “I hate that son of a bitch,” he said. “He’s so cocky and sure of himself. Did you see how he was trying to hit on you? He thinks he can have any girl he wants!”

  “He’s probably not really like that,” I found myself saying. “I know you have issues with him because of your sister but I don’t think he’s some kind of Casanova. Maybe he really did care for your sister.”

  “Like hell he did,” Turner muttered. “He used her just like he uses every other girl. She was a notch on his belt and that’s it.”

  Turner looked at me.

  “Why are you defending him? You don’t know him and you don’t know his past.”

  I didn’t know why I was defending him. For all I knew Nash could have been lying.

  “I just think that whatever happened in high school should stay in high school,” I finally said. “We’re in college. Don’t you want to shake off all the anger and resentment and enjoy college? Or would you rather spend the next four years cursing Nash like you have been?”

  “He's a sophomore so it's only a couple of more years. But I hate him. I hate him and I want to strangle him until the life drips from his body. He hurt my sister and my family. We treated him like another son and brother. He repays us by fucking my sister. How can I get over that?”

  “Maybe he loved her,” I said and closed my eyes.

  Those words should have never left my mouth.

  “What?”

  “Nothing.”

  “No, tell me what you said.”

  Turner grabbed my arms and turned me to him. We were face to face.

  “What did you say?”

  “Maybe he loved her,” I repeated. “Maybe he truly loved her and never got a chance to explain that to you.”

  “Are you saying that I overreacted? That I have no right to be angry?”

  “I’m not saying any of that!”

  I was falling quickly off the ledge.

  “I’m just saying that there might be some things you don’t know or understand. Things that, maybe, you didn’t think of back then. It’s possible, isn’t it?”

  Turner paused.

  “Possible, maybe,” he said. “But not probable. He’s an ass, Lily, and if you knew him as well as I do you would see that.”

  Thankfully the conversation ended as we stepped into the large lecture hall.

  “I’m sitting in the back, care to join me?”

  “No, I do better in the front.”

  “See you after class?”

  “Sure,” I said.

  Turner waved to me and went to the back of the lecture hall while I picked a seat dead center in the front row. Students trickled in and sat in the middle and back rows. So far, I was the only one who was sitting in the front row. I bent down in my seat, rifling through my bag for a notebook and a pen. When I sat back up, Nash was sitting right next to me, tapping a pen against the desk.

  “I knew that you would be sitting here, in the front row.” Nash said.

  Nervous, I turned back and saw Turner frowning at me. I shrugged helplessly. I didn’t ask him to sit next to me. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Why did it matter? Turner acted like he owned me, like we were already a couple.

  I was single and I could talk to whoever I wanted.

  I liked Turner when I met him. He seemed cool and fun. But the issue with Nash and the looks he gave me every time I was around him were starting to annoy me. He didn’t like Nash, that I understood, but that didn’t mean that I had to stay away from him too.

  “Are you trying to piss him off?” I asked as I nodded my head towards Turner. “He thinks that you want nothing to do with me unless it has to do with sex.”

  “Turner’s being a baby,” Nash said. “I’m not trying to piss him off. Sorry that he put you in the middle of us. I really wanted to come sit and talk to you.”

  “Sorry,” I said, my voice low. “I didn’t know what to say and wasn’t sure that you wanted me to talk to you...”

  “Why wouldn’t I want to talk to a sexy girl like you?”

  Sexy?

  He was hitting on me like the other night.

  Why didn’t he just bother all the girls that were glaring at me from behind us while he talked to me?

  “Because it was just a walk back to the dorms. What did you want me to do obsess over you like all the other girls do? I'm just not that type of person. Sorry if that's what you wanted.”

  “I don’t give girls my number if I don’t want them to call.”

  I looked at Nash warily. Before I could answer the professor walked in and slammed his bag on the desk.

  “This is Introduction to Psychology. I don’t take any crap from any student so if you think you can sit on your butts and do nothing, leave now. The rest of you, shut the hell up.”

  * * *

  After an hour and twenty minutes my hand was cramped, my head throbbed, and my eyes were crossing. The notes that started off neat and orderly were now scribbled every which way in my notebook. I didn’t know where they began and where they ended.

  “God, I forgot how intense professor Salmon is,” Nash muttered as we exited the lecture hall.

  “You had him before?”

  “Once and obviously that was a time that I chose to forget.” Nash rubbed his temples. “My head feels like it’s going to explode.”

  “Join the club,” I said.

  “Mines from boredom.”

  I laughed.

  We stepped off to the side and I looked for Turner. I would probably walk back with him as long as he didn’t try to kill Nash before we left.

  “Hey,” Turner said when he finally arrived. “Nash.”

  “Turner.”

  The two looked at each other but no words were thrown. The air crackled with tension. Other kids pushed past us, completely unaware of the scene in front of them. They wanted to get as far away from the class room as much as I did.

  “Did you love my sister?” Turner asked suddenly.

  I shrugged as Nash’s eyes slid towards me and then the two of us stared at Turner.

  “Yes man,” Nash said and it seemed like he was being honest. He sounded the same way he did when he and I talked the night of the concert. “I wanted her to be happy.”

  “So then why were you trying to fuck her?”

  “We both wanted to be together. It was a mutual thing. You had to have known that, Turner. It’s not like I raped her.”

  The word stung my ears…

  “What I know is what I saw and what I saw was you taking advantage of my baby sister.”

  “I told you she meant the world to me.”

  “Like hell she did,” Turner snapped.

  “Fuck you Turner.” Nash’s words began to have a hard edge. “You don’t know because we didn’t tell you. It was our business, hers and mine. Get over it. You’re becoming annoying.”

  “Fuck you. I had every right to interfere. I was trying to keep her safe.”

  “She was fine!”

  “You were using her.”

  “You’re sister cared about me more than you and that’s why you’re pissed.”

  Suddenly Turner’s fist swung out and hit Nash squarely in the jaw. Nash fell to the floor, clutching his mouth, and I yelped. Turner was shaking his hand and hopping from foot to foot.

  “What the hell did you do?” I cried.

  I looked around but thankfully no one else was there to witness it. Seeing this would surly get the two expelled.

  “Turner what the hell were you thinking? Are you trying to get expelled or even arrested? You can’t go around and punch people.”

  “Take that you pussy,” Turner hissed. “You self-centered asshole.”

  He turned on his heel and walked briskly away from Nash and I. I watched Turner go, torn between following and making sure he was okay or staying with Nash.

  I chose Nash…

  Grabbing his arm, I pulled Nash up
to a standing position. Blood trickled down his mouth and to his chin where Nash wiped it with his bare hand.

  “I tried to tell him,” Nash said as we watched Turner’s retreating form. “What a fucking baby.”

  “He’s just in shock,” I said. “Are you okay?”

  I pulled Nash’s hand from his mouth and wiped away the blood with a tissue I had in my bag. He had nothing but a busted lip, not even requiring stitches. A bruise was already blossoming on his jaw.

  “Do you want to go to the infirmary to take care of this?”

  “No, I’ll take care of it myself. I took a beating from my brothers all the time so no big deal.”

  “Let me come with you, maybe I can help.”

  Nash smiled and then winced.

  “Want to go back to my place?”

  I tried not to ask why it was his ‘place’ and not his dorm.

  “Sure…”

  Nash touched his face tenderly.

  “Damn! I forgot how wicked his right hooks were.”

  “This isn't the first time this has happened?”

  “No, we used to get in fights all the time. That shit happens though. It's just part of growing up and having lots of disagreements. We were guys hanging out with each other all the time so it was bound to happen.”

  “I just don't get guys sometimes. I can never imagine fighting with any of my friends. Then again, I didn't have many close ones anyway.”

  “You didn't have many friends? Well, that is strange.”

  “I guess if you want to call it that.”

  Chapter Eight

  When we got to his house I hesitated at the door. I was nervous and terrified to be alone with him. It wasn't that he had done anything specific to be afraid of him but I was scared of being alone with any guy because of my past. I knew I had to get over it though and I just needed to be cautious instead of holding myself back all the time.

  “Are you okay?” he asked with a concerned look on his face.

  The door was wide open and he was standing inside on the rug. He smiled and waved me in.

  “Yeah, I'll be okay,” I said, slowly walking inside.