A Real Disaster

by Molly Ryan

  My heart swelled.

  * * *

  “So when I was in high school I was the epidemy of a good girl. I wore pleated skirts and knee high socks with loafers.”

  “That sounds sexy,” Turner said and I laughed.

  “Trust me, I was anything but sexy,” I told him. “I wore ire rimmed glasses and my hair was always tied in braids down my back. I didn’t wear any make up and I always had my nose in a book.”

  “Why is that so bad?”

  “Because I was lame. People made fun of me, talked about me behind my back. I was the odd one out.”

  “Or you were unique,” he countered. “I think that if I saw you in high school I would have gone out of my way to get to know you.”

  “Well then you would have been the only one.”

  “That’s because I have a thing for nerdy girls who read too much.”

  “How about good girls that go to church every week and doesn’t do anything fun?”

  “Even better,” he said with a wicket grin.

  I rolled my eyes and pushed Turner. He lost his balance and toppled to the ground. He winced as his elbow met with a tree root.

  “Goddammit!” Turner cursed as he rubbed his elbow. “Damn that hurt!”

  “Oh God, are you okay?”

  I lost my smile and watched Turner rock back and forth, cradling his arm.

  “I’m sorry, Turner. I didn’t mean for you to hit your elbow.”

  Turner rubbed his elbow roughly and then looked up at me.

  “Oh well, it’s not any worse than getting hit in the head with a basketball. I’ll survive.”

  “Good...”

  I was scared for a moment.

  After finishing our meal, Turner started packing up the basket. I folded the blanket in half, then in quarters, until the blanket fit snugly inside the basket.

  “So what would you like to do now? Do you want to walk? Go back to the dorm and watch movies? Go get ice cream?”

  “I don’t think I could eat another bite,” I told Turner as I held my stomach.

  “Okay, how about your dorm?”

  “That is fine.”

  * * *

  We stepped in the elevator in the dormitory and Turner was about to push the button for my floor but I put my hand over his.

  “Let’s skip my floor. Sabrina is probably going to be there with Elizabeth and I don’t want the third degree. Let’s go hang out at your dorm. Is that okay?”

  “Sure,” Turner said and something flickered in his eyes.

  He didn’t say anything more, though. He enfolded my hand in his and we rode the elevator together, connected. When we got out on the eighth floor, Turner let me pass first and then led me to the end of the hall. I could hear parties going on in all different dorm rooms as well as the sound of video games.

  “How do you get any studying done?” I asked as I winced at the sounds I heard. “I’m so glad that my floor is nothing like this. I would never get anything done.”

  “You learn to tune it out after a while.”

  He unlocked the door at the end of the hall and pushed it open.

  “This is me. Come on in.”

  I stepped gingerly over the threshold and tried not to curl my lip in disgust. The dorm room was a mess. There were clothes everywhere and dishes were stacked on the floor.

  “I know it’s a little messy,” Turner said and had the common decency to be embarrassed. “I didn’t think that we were going to come back here and… Well I’ll admit it, I’m lazy. I keep finding other things to do, other things that I want to do, than clean here. Now I’m kind of regretting everything.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” I said, trying to sound relaxed. “It’s really not that big of a deal. I’ve known people who are way messier than you.”

  “Really?”

  I hesitated and then shook my head.

  “Yup.”

  His arms lashed out and wrapped around my waist. Before I knew what was happening, Turner’s hand was cradling my neck and his lips were on mine. Shock turned into desire and my eyes fluttered closed.

  Turner’s kiss wasn’t soft or hesitant. He kissed me with heat and passion that I only read about in books. His lips were soft and yet firm against mine. His fingers ran up and down my spine, tracing the bones. My arms found their way around his neck and I pulled him closer, grinding my body up against him.

  My heart vibrated in my chest and my mouth couldn’t get enough of him. I dug my finger nails into his back and moaned as he moved from my lips to my neck. His hands went from my back to the front, cupping my breasts.

  “Stop,” I said and pulled back, shaking my head.

  I felt foggy and disoriented. Immediately Turner dropped his hands and stepped back.

  “I’m sorry,” I murmured as I fixed my sweater.

  “No, I’m the sorry one. I shouldn’t have done that. I didn’t bring you back here to have sex with you.”

  Turner took my hands and kissed my palms.

  “You deserve better Lily. You’re worth more than that.”

  “If we are ever going to be together I want it to be special, something that you can remember. I don’t want you thinking back and remembering our first time being in this disgusting dorm.”

  Turner pulled me close and kissed my forehead.

  “I want to be with you, Lily, but I want to make it perfect. If we ever get that chance I promise I will give you the stars and the moon.”

  I looked up at him from underneath my lashes as my hands found the buckle of his belt.

  Chapter Eleven

  “You don’t have to.”

  “I want to,” I said, my voice cracking and his breath hitching.

  Maybe this was a bad idea. I turn down Nash but I’m okay with having sex with Turner?

  “A-Are you sure you want to do this?”

  The truth was that I wasn’t sure I wanted to do this, or anything. I didn’t even know how to do any of it. He was kind to me. Was that why my brain was saying yes? Or was it to get back at Nash?

  I was nervous, so nervous.

  “Yes, I want to do this.”

  I dropped my hands from his belt buckle and ran my fingers up and down his arm.

  “Let’s take this to the bed, what do you think?”

  “Sure…”He grabbed my hand, linking our fingers together, and pulled me to the bed.

  “You are so, so beautiful,” Turner said.

  He dipped his head forward, capturing my lips with his once again. His hands kept busy removing my sweater. Once it was off, Turner’s nimble fingers unbuttoned the shirt underneath and pushed it off my shoulders. His fingers then moved to my light pink bra.

  “Slow down,” I said, taking a deep breath.

  I nudged Turner away.

  “This is about you.”

  Hell I didn’t know what I was doing. I just wanted to show Turner that I liked him. There were probably other ways to show it but I thought that what I was about to do would be the best way to show him.

  “But I want to make you happy too,” Turner said.

  “I know, but I really want to do this…”

  That was half a lie.

  My hands went back to Turner’s belt as I expertly pulled it from the loops. Turner put his hands on my arms as he watched me unsnap and unzip his pants. Nudging them down his narrow waist, I raised my eyebrow and looked at Turner.

  I looked at his large, pole-like boner beneath his boxer briefs. It was pulsating through.

  I shivered with anxiety and took a deep breath,

  I licked my lips as my fingers slipped under the waistband of the boxer briefs. Turner sucked in a breath as his hands found my hair.

  “Are you sure you want to do this?”

  It wasn’t the biggest turn on to have a guy constantly ask if I really wanted to do something sexual. The first time, yes it’s important to make sure it’s consensual but after that it’s a little annoying.

  I didn’t respond.

&nb
sp; With a swift motion, I pulled Turner’s boxer briefs down and let his dick spring out.

  “Oh God,” Turner muttered. “I don’t know if I can take much more of this.”

  I slowly moved my right hand up and down his shaft.

  I kneeled down in front of Turner, my face right in front of him.

  I cupped his balls in my hands while I kissed the tip of his dick. I tried not to be nervous as I kneeled in front of him. The only experience I had with blow jobs was what I read about in novels and the things I accidentally saw on television. My parents never discussed sex with me and the girlfriends I had in high school didn’t talk a lot about it.

  My free hand went to the shaft of his penis, slowly rubbing it again while my other hand held his balls, gently squeezing them. Turner moaned above me and I could already feel his legs quiver. I turned my head to the side and placed kisses all down the shaft and back up until I was at the head again.

  Sticking my tongue out, I licked up and down and then took Turner into my mouth. His hands, which were still on my hair, clenched and Turner pushed me closer to him. Sucking softly, I pulled back until my lips were only over the taut tip of Turner’s dick. I swirled my tongue in circles and figure-eight’s over his hole.

  “”Oh God,” Turner moaned. “Oh fuck! Don’t stop, Lily. Don’t fucking stop. This feels so fucking… Fuck! Oh!”

  Turner started to jerk his own body back and forth, pushing his dick in and out of my mouth as he held my head straight. He pushed hard, nearly blocking my airwave, but pulled back nearly as quickly. In and out, in and out. My jaw was becoming sore but I didn’t stop or pull away.

  “Kiss me,” Turner said and he suddenly pulled me up enough to get me onto the bed.

  Turner sat next to me and took my mouth to his, all the while pumping his dick with his own hand. His fist was jerking away, hard and fast. Turner pulled at my bra, pulling the straps down and pushing the cups away from my breasts. With his free hand, Turner grabbed my tit, squeezing it and running his fingers over the nipple, making it hard. Now I was the one gasping for breath. A familiar pulling feeling started at the base of my stomach.

  “Oh God, Lily,” I heard Turner moan. “God, I’m almost there. I can’t wait any longer.”

  Turner didn’t give me a choice when he pushed me on the bed and straddled my hips. He didn’t stop pumping his hand over his dick.

  “Here it comes,” Turner said.

  One last pump and his dick squirted cum all over my chest.

  “Oh God, oh! Oh!”

  Turner tremored and moved just quick enough so that he didn’t fall on top of me. Turner reached across the bed and grabbed a towel.

  “I’m sorry. Here, let me clean it up for you.”

  Turner began to wipe at my body, cleaning up my chest.

  “Are you okay?” he asked when he was finally finished wiping everything up. “I didn’t hurt you or anything, right?”

  No.

  But if it was over, what a horrible experience.

  “No, I’m fine,” I said.

  Was I fine? What started as a hand and blow job ended…

  Weird…

  He ripped my bra off, held me down, and then came on me. All horrible reminders of my past that I wanted to forget.

  “Good,” Turner said, kissing me.

  I moved my head to the side to stop the kiss. I sighed, frustrated. I shifted on the bed, pushing myself away from Turner. I quickly grabbed my clothes that were scattered across the room.

  “Is something wrong?”

  “No, why?” I lied.

  “I don’t know, you keep moving around and you’re frowning.”

  Turner hoisted himself up on his arm and stared at me.

  “Did I force you into this? Did you think that you had to do this to make up for something? Are you upset with me?”

  “I don’t think any of that,” I told him. “I’m not upset and I definitely don’t think you forced me into something…”

  That wasn’t the problem at all.

  “So then what’s going on in that head of yours?”

  I shifted again, uncomfortable with the path that the conversation was heading. My past was the problem. Now he reminded me of it, but I didn’t want to explain it to him or anybody else.

  “Nothing, really, I’m okay.”

  “You’re lying,” Turner accused. “You can’t even look at me.”

  “Don’t worry, I’m not upset.”

  I wasn’t sure if I was trying to convince him or convince myself. My mind was a mess of my past and present.

  “Lily, talk to me. I don’t want you to leave upset again.”

  Turner wasn’t going to give up until I said something, but what was I supposed to say? I looked at Turner, torn between telling him the truth and keeping it to myself. Turner stared at me and then his mouth split into a grin

  “I know what’s wrong… You’re horny.”

  “Seriously Turner? You’re way off!”

  “What then?”

  “Just don’t worry about it.”

  I put my clothes on in silence.

  However, Turner couldn’t keep quiet any longer.

  “Well, do you want to hang out for a while then?”

  “I don’t know. I have some stuff to do,” I said.

  “What about we go out for some ice cream tomorrow night?”

  “Um…”

  “Come on,” he begged.

  I might as well agreed to stop the begging.

  ”Fine,” I said, throwing on my shoes. “Meet me at 7 at my dorm.”

  “Awesome.”

  Then I left his apartment.

  * * *

  The next day, I finished my homework around 5 PM, took a quick shower, and got dressed. Around 7 I grabbed my purse and left my dorm room.

  “Hey!” Turner yelled down the hall as I closed the door.

  I walked towards him and waved. I could only hope he wouldn’t bring up what happened the night before.

  Turner had thrown on a pair of faded jeans, a white shirt, and a jacket. He looked pretty cute when he washed up. The two of us went downstairs to the front sidewalk that led to the ice cream shop.

  “I don’t feel like driving. Do you want to just walk there? It’s not like it’s that cold out.”

  “That sounds like a great idea,” Turner agreed.

  He grabbed a hold of my hand and linked his fingers through mine. I wanted to push his hand away. After being held down by him I just wasn’t that into him.

  As a boyfriend anyway.

  Friends sure.

  Together we walked to the ice cream shop. The night air was crisp and nippy. The sun had set, taking whatever warmth with it. Unable to wrap my arms around myself, I shivered a little.

  “Are you cold?”

  “Yeah,” I said nodding.

  Immediately Turner shrugged off his jacket and wrapped it around my shoulders.

  “Better?”

  “You don’t have to do that. I’ll be fine,” I told him.

  “I’ll be fine too.,” Turner assured me. “I’m not the one shivering anyway.”

  I didn’t know what I wanted. I already regretted what had happened the night before. My mind just took over after seeing Nash and another girl all over each other. Turner was so nice to me and I was hurting. It was a mistake. How was I going to let him down easy without losing him as a friend.

  We continued to walk.

  “I didn’t think I could recover from that horrible first date. I thought that was it; I thought I was toast. I’m glad I’m not Lily...”

  He smiled at me.

  “Yeah, It takes more than one horrible date to send me running,” I responded, giving him a fake grin.

  “Really? Even though you hadn’t dated much? I thought that I completely ruined it for you.”

  “”Nah.”

  The way he was acting made it obvious he thought we were together.

  I didn’t want to hurt him.

  I still
wanted to be friends.

  “Well, well, well, look at the happy couple.”

  My head whipped around to the voice. Nash was standing there, partially hidden in the shadow, smoking a cigarette.

  I wrinkled my nose. He just had to show up.

  “Nash,” Turner said and I felt him tense next to me.

  I threw a little prayer up that the two of them wouldn’t get into an all-out brawl.

  “What do you want?” I asked Nash.

  “Nothing,” Nash sneered and stumbled closer.

  I could smell the alcohol on Nash’s breath.

  “And I’m doing much better, thank you. You’re pussy punch didn’t keep me down for long.”

  “Whatever, now if you’ll excuse us,” Turner responded.

  “Wait a minute!” Nash cried. “Tell me about this happy couple. When did you guys get together? Last time I checked Turner, you let this lovely woman stumble back to her dorm, drunk, while you partied.”

  “Nash-” I said under my breath.

  “How do you know that?” Turner asked.

  His eyes narrowed as he stared at Nash.

  “Because I was the one who had to bring her back. She was in no shape to walk all on her own.”

  Turner turned to me.

  “Is it true?”

  “I didn’t ask him to walk me home,” I tried to explain. “I was walking home and he saw me. He just wanted to make sure I got there safe.”

  It was beginning to take a lot of effort trying to keep them both happy.

  “And that’s all?”

  “Well-” Nash started.

  If this led to me spending the night at Nash’s then I knew there would be another fight. This time, Nash wouldn’t hold back.

  “That’s all,” I said, cutting Nash off.

  I shot daggers at Nash but he pretended not to notice. What the hell was he trying to do? What the hell was his problem? Would Nash really tell Turner about our night together? Yeah, he would. Anything to get a rise out of him.

  “Come on Turner, let’s go get that ice cream.”

  “I’ll see you two love birds later,” Nash said.

  He dropped the cigarette onto the dirt and rubbed it out with the toe of his sneaker.

  “You know where to find me sexy.”

  Now he was trying to get a rise out of me.