First Kiss

by Sophie Bright

  “Jackson,” I whispered trying to remember all the reason I’d come up with keep him away from me.

  “Later,” he answered after pulling my fingers out of his mouth and walking down the hallway toward his room.

  Dean’s shoes hit the stairs and I caught sight of him as I was closing my door. “Did you have fun with Trina?”

  “I did. We drank way too much so I’m going to bed.”

  Dean chuckled and shook his head. “Night, Lucy. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  I climbed into bed with red hot anger. Jackson had ramped up my system I had just worked so hard to relax. And just like the Jackson I was growing to know he ran away right when it was getting good.

  I was restless tossing and turning unable to get comfortable. Jackson needed to be put in his place for the torture he caused me. I perfected a rather elegant speech I would recite to him in order to save what self respect I had left. Tomorrow when I saw Jackson he would know exactly where I stood and no more impromptu kissing. This time I meant it.

  My mattress dipped and a warm body closed in on me. I opened my mouth to scream but a large hand stifled my horror. Panic infused my blood stream and I fought with all my strength. Tears burned my eye lids, but I refused to cry as I fought for my life. The masked man was back and this time he was going to finish what he started.

  “Lucy, it’s me. Calm down.”

  It took me a second to realize my nighttime intruder was Jackson. The fight vanished and I sagged against him.

  “I didn’t mean to scare you. I’ve been waiting for Dean to fall asleep so I could sneak in here.”

  “What are you doing in here?”

  “I wanted to finish what we started.”

  “Too late I finished just fine without you.” There was no reason to hide what I’d been doing before he knocked on my door.

  “Were you thinking of me?” Jackson moved so he was pressed against my back.

  “You’re naked!” I whispered yelled at him. Heat surfaced everywhere we touched. My blood throbbed with each rapid heartbeat.

  “So are you,” He countered. “You didn’t answer my question. Did you think about me when you rode your fingers?”

  I stilled trying to think of the speech I’d so carefully crafted. Jackson’s warm breath hit my neck and his hands smoothed over my side in a rhythmic motion.

  “If it makes you feel better I think about you.”

  My breath hitched picturing Jackson stroking himself while I was on his mind. He was putting me under a spell, hypnotizing me. I needed to say something before I let him once again make me forget myself.

  “Do you think about me when you go out on your dates?” My brain was proud of myself for being strong while the rest of me was yelling at me to shut the fuck up and jump on for the ride of my life.

  Jackson’s hand stilled on my ass. The heat of it seared me. Branding me his. I dug my fingernails into my palm hoping to keep some semblance of sanity.

  Jackson bit the back of my neck and involuntarily I arched into him. His cock settled in between my butt cheeks and knew I was going to lose. “Are you jealous?”

  I shook my head clenching my ass cheeks to pinch his erection. Two could play at this game. Jackson bit out a curse and snuggled further into me.

  “I’m not going out on dates. I do volunteer work for a homeless shelter. They’re building another common room and I’m helping.”

  “And I’m supposed to believe that?” My voice was breathless announcing my surrender.

  “I’ll take you next time.”

  “Why did you tell me you were going out on a date?”

  Jackson placed small kisses down my neck. He kept moving kissing my spine as he went lower. “Because I shouldn’t be doing this with you. I tried to stay away from you but I can’t. If you want me to stop tell me now. If not we’re going to find out if this is going to be as good as both of us have imagined.” Jackson licked my ass cheek and turned me so my back was to the mattress.

  “How do you know I’ve imagined this?”

  “If you haven’t I’ve done it enough for both of us.” Jackson’s tongue streaked over me.

  I grasped a pillow and buried my face in it to muffle my cries.

  “I’ve been wanting to do this since I tasted your fingers. Fuck your pussy tastes like candy.”

  My eyes rolled back in my head as he went to work. His fingers and tongue ravished me. My head thrashed back and forth under the pillow trying to keep quiet.

  I came all over his face and he relished it until I collapsed. I threw the pillow on the floor sucking in oxygen in deep heavy pants.

  Jackson’s face was glazed with my release and when I kissed him the mixture of us together was intoxicating.

  “That will be happening again,” Jackson said in between kisses.

  “Yes, it will,” I agreed making him chuckle.

  Jackson settled in between my legs. My knees were drawn up holding him tightly. His gaze searched my face not moving until he saw what he needed to see.

  “Are you going to do something about that?” I asked nudging his erection with my hips.

  Jackson smiled before reaching down and guiding himself inside of me. He stretched me until I didn’t think I could go any further.

  I winced as I became accustomed to the intrusion.

  “Are you okay?” he asked his face filled with worry.

  I nodded clenching my knees tighter to keep him where he was. Our breath mingled together as he pushed himself to the hilt.

  His jaw clenched as he steadied his weight over me. Tiny kisses were peppered over my jaw, my cheeks, my eyelids as he held himself still inside of me.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered kissing the sides of my mouth.

  It came to me that he wasn’t going to move until I gave him permission. His achingly sweetness was his way of soothing his entry.

  Instead of verbally telling him I chose to show him. I pivoted my hips down into the mattress as much as it would give and pushed back. The tiny movement seemed to hold Jackson captive.

  I wrapped my legs around his hips and continued moving using the little room I had. Jackson still refused to move. His jaw clenched as he stared at me. With another small movement of my hips I smiled at him and grabbed him by the hair bringing his lips down on mine in a bruising kiss.

  His resolve was broken with my hands still plunged in his hair Jackson lifted me up. I clung to him as he thrust into me.

  Our bodies were slick from the exertion. My arms lost grip and I hit the mattress. Jackson’s eyes gleamed seeing my breast bounce as he pistoned into my wetness.

  His lips feasted on the flesh before him. I clawed at his back, my teeth biting down on my lip so I wouldn’t cry out. My legs began to shake as he hit a spot he seemed to instinctually know would drive me crazy.

  He must have felt my control slipping he pounded harder into me his kisses becoming more savage. My release slammed into me and my teeth sunk into his shoulder to keep me from screaming.

  My pussy pulsated around him and the corded muscles in his shoulder tensed. Jackson’s movements became more jerky and he groaned in my neck as I felt him pulsate inside of me.

  We lay spent next to each other. I felt boneless and wouldn’t have been able to move if my life depended on it. Jackson’s arm snaked around my waist and he hauled me to him.

  “I can’t feel my legs,” Jackson said into my hair making me giggle. “You sapped the life out of me.”

  “It was worth it.”

  “Yeah, it was. Now get some sleep.”

  “What about Dean?”

  “I don’t think Dean would fit.”

  I giggled and rolled my eyes. “You know what I mean.”

  “Dean doesn’t need to know. Let’s just see where this takes us. Is that okay with you?”

  I nodded in the dark but I knew he felt it since my head rested on his shoulder. This was a stupid mistake and I was aware of it. I was letting my long term infatuation wi
th Jackson cloud my judgment, but I wouldn’t deny the pleasure he was offering me only if it was just that and nothing more.

  My heart was broken from Richard’s treatment of it. Why not just have fun with Jackson until we were both ready to move on like adults. And not telling Dean would keep the awkwardness away when we decided it was time to separate.

  I was just worried that Jackson was going to tire of me long before I got tired of him. Guarding my heart was the only way I could do this. And with my body still thrumming for what just happened I wasn’t going to give up what Jackson offered. He laid out the rules by saying we should keep it from Dean. I just needed to make sure I followed them.

  I snuggled into him and long after Jackson’s breathing evened out I stared at the wall trying to convince myself I could do this. And knowing in the end I was going to come out worse for wear.

  12

  Jackson was gone when I woke in the morning. I stretched in bed feeling sore and satisfied. I always envied girls who were able to have sex without allowing their emotions to get involved.

  This was going to be my test and it was going to be a difficult one. It didn’t help the matter since I already had feelings for Jackson. And now he was offering me at least a taste of what I’ve always wanted. I just needed to convince myself it was going to be enough.

  Or I could get him to fall hopelessly in love with me.

  My pathetic laugh bounced off the empty walls of my bedroom. Jackson knocked once and let himself in. His smile faltered and he looked upset.

  “Damn, I wanted to catch you naked.” He sprinted over to me sitting at my desk and kissed me.

  “Sorry to disappoint you,” I huffed out when his lips had taken their fill.

  “You’ll have to make it up to me tonight.”

  “Maybe I will. Maybe I won’t,” I teased him knowing full well I would.

  “Don’t do that to me, Lucy. Now that I’ve had you I’m not going to let you go.”

  My heartbeat so hard it lodged in my throat stopping me from replying. He brushed his lips over mine and started to come back for more but stopped and stood up straight.

  “Shit, I have to stop or were going to get caught. Dean’s waiting outside so we can go to a job and I told him I forgot my phone.”

  I nodded still unable to talk around my rapidly beating heart. Jackson winked at me, groaned as his eyes caught my hardened nipples through my shirt before turning to walk away.

  “I’ll see you tonight.”

  I was alone in my room staring at the doorway Jackson had disappeared through. Confusion seemed to be the new emotion I was living in.

  Why would he be so attentive and act as if he had feelings for me? It was cruel.

  The question drilled into my brain until it was all I could think about. Jackson’s history was self explanatory in his issues with commitment. He hadn’t had a long term girlfriend, ever.

  This may have been the way Jackson kept the girls at bay. He chose one and made them his sex slave with his amazing dick display. Then sent them on their way when he became tired of them. I wondered if that was why Jackson never bothered to come to me. I wasn’t so easy to get rid of being his best friends sister. Then why did he break now?

  I stopped and put my hand on chest and stared blindly out the window. Why pick me instead of the many other willing women he could choose? What if he didn’t just choose one? What if he has more than one?

  That was unacceptable. I may have been allowing him to screw me three ways from Sunday but I wasn’t going to be part of a harem. I wasn’t going to make this easy for Jackson I was going to set my own rules too.

  This was it. It wasn’t as if I was ever going to deny him but having my own set of standards for whatever this was would make me feel better.

  I shivered as I thought of the prospect of being in Jackson’s arms again. Glancing at the clock frustrated at how long I would have to wait until I could lay down my terms.

  I threw myself in work needing to get things done before I started my new job on Monday. Doubt assaulted me not only with Jackson but also with taking this job. I would have to work hard to keep my freelance jobs happy while also working a full time job.

  My phone rang and I answered it engrossed in my worry.

  “Lucy?”

  The skin on the back of my neck stood up. My hands began to sweat and I had to grip the phone harder so it wouldn’t slip.

  “Why are you calling me?”

  “Don’t hang up.”

  The desperation in Richard’s voice stopped me from launching the phone across the room. “I told you not to call me anymore.” I was proud my voice sounded stern and didn’t hint to the turmoil I was in hearing him again.

  “I’m not calling to get you back. You made it clear we were done the last time I called you.”

  I clenched my jaw not bothering to answer him. Afraid if I said anything he would take it as encouragement.

  Richard exhaled loudly over the phone but no sympathy rose up for him. He had put me in one of the worst situations I had to endure during my adult life. Because of him I was beaten up, had my car fucked with, had my confidence destroyed and became a sad shell of who I used to be that sulked in her room instead of taking life by the balls.

  He did that to me and I let him. I was done with him.

  “I’m hanging up,” I said in the phone.

  “No, wait. I have something to tell you, Lucy.”

  “Richard, you’re too late. Anything you want to tell me I can promise you I don’t want to hear. Do not call me again. We are done.”

  I hit the end button on my phone while Richard yelled through it saying he had something important to tell me. My phone rang immediately and I declined the call putting his number in my block list.

  My hands shook and I had to take them off my keyboard because I kept hitting the wrong keys. I pressed my palms in my eye sockets refusing to cry.

  I made a mistake. I messed with a married man and got caught. How much longer was I going to punish myself? Everyone I loved had asked the same question one way or another but I wasn’t ready to answer it yet.

  This was it. I needed to allow Richard to take some of the blame as well. He knew he was married and he pursued me. He never mentioned his wife and after going over every encounter with him I don’t think I could have known. I tried to take the blame telling myself I should have known but he never talked about commitment and the other employees never mentioned it.

  Richard made sense not wanting to flaunt our relationship at work. I was so in lust with him I didn’t want to share it with anyone anyway. Richard was my first real relationship the first man who I could overlook the fact that he wasn’t Jackson.

  I dated, but it was never serious. Every time my relationships would start to move to the next level I would find something wrong with them. And if I was being truthful it always ended because Jackson would infiltrate my brain and the comparison was never fair.

  The betrayal I felt because of Richards omission hurt more because I let him get past the Jackson wall. He got me when I’d made the choice to get over my Jackson obsession. And because of Richard and his lie I’d gotten closer to Jackson than I had ever thought possible.

  The Jackson I had put on the pedestal was not the person in my bed last night. He also wasn’t the person who refused to kiss me deeply so he wouldn’t be late for work this morning. This was a whole different Jackson. One who was offering his body and not his heart.

  With Richard’s call I acknowledged I didn’t want to accept just part of Jackson. I wanted the whole thing. The realization hit me. I wasn’t kidding when I said I was going to get Jackson to fall in love with me.

  I was sick of comparing men to Jackson. Why should I settle for a replacement when if I worked hard enough I could have the real thing?

  I would take it slow. Tell Jackson my rules. Letting him know while he was with me there would be nobody else. What Jackson didn’t have to know just yet was I was going to be the
last. No more playing around.

  My phone rang again. I glanced at it wondering if Richard was trying to call me from another phone number. A real smile stretched my face when my mom’s number and face appeared.

  “Hey mom.”

  “Hi, Lucy girl.”

  The sound of a bustling airport filtered through the phone.

  “So when do I get to see you?” I asked. Listening to my dad telling her to say hi to me.

  “That’s the reason I called you. Dad and I were talking and we want to do dinner tomorrow with you and Dean. Dean’s bringing his new girlfriend to pick us up at the airport, but we’re going to be too tired to interrogate her properly.”

  I laughed into the phone giving my mom the response she wanted. My parents were always pressuring Dean and I to bring our dates to their house. This was the first time one of us was actually going to do it. I didn’t realize just how serious Dean and Trina were getting.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to wait another day? You have been on vacation for awhile Maybe we should wait until the weekend to do dinner.”

  “Lucy Anne, we are not some old fuddy duddys. You will be there tomorrow for dinner. And if Dean forgets tell Jackson he’s invited too. I can’t wait to hear what’s been going on while we’ve been gone. Don’t think I’m not going to pull out why you are now living with your brother.”

  “I’ll be there tomorrow.” My heart sunk to my feet. My mom was relentless and it was nice having them gone so she couldn’t sink her claws into me. I guess my vacation was over as well.

  I caught up a little longer with my parents until they had to leave to board their plane. When I hung up I shut off my phone so no more interruptions could pull me from my work.

  My stomach growled and I was startled how much time had passed. The door slammed shut and I turned off my computer so I could talk to Dean and Jackson.

  “Hey, Lucy.” Dean ran past me and kissed me on the cheek. “I have to shower really quick so I can go pick up mom and dad.”