by Cree Storm
Suddenly Deja screamed, “Help me, Shadow!” The beautiful voice was now filled with horror, and when Shadow looked at that face, fear like no other consumed him. That beautiful face, so open and honest, so loving, now had thick droplets of blood forming along the hairline. It slowly ran down that perfect face, covering it. Those silver eyes, so full of life, now filled with fear. The blood flowed faster, and the voice screamed again. Suddenly the darkness gripped him, pulling him down into its depths.
CHAPTER 10
“No!” Shadow screamed as he sat up quickly. He was panting hard and covered in sweat.
Running a hand down his face, Shadow tried to control himself, but the images and feelings held on. He threw the covers off, tossing them across the room like they offended him, then stood. Deja’s face covered in blood flashed before him and he gripped onto the bed to hold himself up when his knees buckled.
His mate. Deja was his mate and had been more wonderful to him than anyone. His little human understood the mating bond, more than even some paranormals did, and didn’t turn his back on him, just gave Shadow the time he needed to figure himself out.
Deja was right, he couldn’t fix Shadow or save him. This was something he needed to do. But Deja was saving him by giving him the time he needed and still showing he cared.
Shadow felt strange. Something was different. Something had shifted inside him, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. His chest didn’t feel so tight and his core felt stronger, but also lighter. It was an odd feeling. Something he hadn’t felt in… almost two hundred years. His chest had tightened the moment his father discovered him with another man that night, and the band continued to constrict ever since. He had become so accustomed to it that it became a part of him and Shadow hadn’t even realized the band had been there, but now it was gone.
Deja’s face once again flashed before his eyes. Floating down from above with those scarves wrapped around him and Shadow’s chest tightened again, but for completely different reasons this time. This time it was panic. Fear for his mate’s safety and wellbeing. Fear that his inability to move on and taking so long, had pushed Deja away for good.
Just as his breathing began to slow, his heart now beat faster, and he started to pant again. This new band around his chest constricted and the pain was too much. It twisted so tightly that he had to put a hand over his heart and rub, trying to ease some of the pressure, but it wouldn’t fade. Blood-red filled his vision as fear gripped him. The visions started to flash before him again, but this time they flashed by so fast, his stomach threatened to revolt.
Blood. Fear. Panic. Terror. Blood. Death. Eyes. Angry. Soulless. Deja covered in the blood from his hands, the actions of his past. No, he couldn’t let it touch something as beautiful as his mate. He needed to protect Deja from himself.
As the thought came to him, the band that had controlled him only minutes ago, that he thought had now gone, returned with a vengeance and Shadow dropped to his knees. Shit, was he having a heart attack? Deja’s smiling face, full of love and compassion was there, giving him hope, giving him something to hold onto, and the pain began to ease.
In that moment an epiphany hit him. He needed Deja. His mate’s light, his purity, his beautiful soul, was what would free him. Deja had inadvertently forced him to face his past with the words that he had sung. With each note, the walls he had built around his heart had cracked, broken apart, and shattered. Deja was his angel of mercy, his light at the end of the tunnel. Deja was his present and his future. His redemption.
The stunningly beautiful face before him morphed, the smile dropping from those supple lips, those silver eyes became clouded, as a red line formed along Deja’s hairline. Red began to show, then grew, as thick, dark rivers of blood flowed down the most beautiful face he had ever seen. Deja closed his eyes and turned away. Shadow was helpless to stop him. He tried to go after his mate, to protect him, but his feet wouldn’t move. He cried out for Deja to come back, but no sound escaped his lips.
Deja turned to look at him over his shoulder and mouthed the words, “Goodbye, Shadow.” Then his mate turned away and disappeared. Panic like never before filled him from the thought of losing Deja.
“No!” He screamed at the top of his lungs as his eyes flew open.
Shadow found himself sitting in his bed, the sheets tangled around his waist, sweat pouring down his body, his chest heaving as his heart pounded. A dream. It had been another dream. No, an omen. Shaman Blackfeather had taught him how to see the signs. This was a warning. He needed to get to his mate.
He fought the sheets around him and climbed from the bed, then Deja’s face came to him again. His mate’s soft voice whispering goodbye. Rage filled him. Fury at himself for being so weak. He couldn’t lose Deja.
Shadow ground his teeth as he let the anger and fear take him. He needed to go to him. Shadow stormed across the room to get some fresh clothes, so he could go to his mate. He stopped at the dresser and pulled the top drawer open with such force, the thing flew out and smashed to the floor. Shadow tried to breathe, to control himself, but the rage took him. He raised his arms and swiped them across the top of the dresser, clearing it, everything that sat upon it flying across the room, smashing against the wall and the floor.
Shadow ripped the remaining drawers from the piece of furniture and flung them across the room, then he picked up the dresser, held it high above his head, and tossed it. The dresser smashed into the wall, leaving a large hole behind.
“Stop!” he screamed through clenched teeth.
The door flew open as all the occupants of the house ran in, all looking around for a threat. Their gazes turned to him and filled with concern. He stood before them, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he tried to control the rage.
Snake slowly stepped forward, holding his hands out from his sides as if he was approaching a caged animal. “It’s okay, brother. Whatever it is, we’re here.”
“I…” Shadow closed his eyes as he pulled in a deep breath, trying to control himself.
A hand touched his shoulder and Shadow’s eyes popped open. Wade stood beside him, a comforting hand on his shoulder. His Commander, his brother, was giving him his support and strength. Snake stood to his other side, close, also showing his support. The others stepped closer, Flyer, Bull, Rory, Six, his true bothers. The men who he now knew without a doubt would stand beside him always.
“It’s too much,” he whispered as he met Wade’s gaze.
“I know, brother. I know,” Wade said softly as he gave Shadow’s shoulder a small squeeze.
“I need my mate. I want my mate,” he replied, his eyes begging for Wade’s understanding.
Wade nodded as his eyes filled with compassion. “We’re here to help you with whatever you need, Shadow. Just ask, and if it is within our power, we will give it to you.”
“I have so much to make up for, so much to tell him. I can’t lose him, Wade, but how do I make it up to him? How do I get him?”
With help from Lon and Casius, Vano stepped closer, drawing Shadow’s attention. “Speak to him with your heart, using the words he understands. Talk to him in his own language.”
* * * *
Gods, he was so tired. Deja stretched, lifting his arms over his head as he arched his back and pointed his toes. Relaxing back against the soft sheets, he finally opened his eyes and smiled.
He would never get used to waking up to the beautiful view before him. The sun shone bright, warming his skin as its rays smiled down on all of Maddox. Main Street was a bevy of activity as its residents went about their day. The mountain that sat in the distance at the end of the road, with its snow cap glistening, sparkling under the sun’s love.
Deja noticed the snow covering the top of the mountain seemed to be less this morning, a sure sign that Spring would soon be upon them.
He sat up and the sheets pooled around his waist, exposing his bare chest. Deja’s gaze roamed around the picturesque view, noticing other small hints of
Spring. More people were milling about on foot or bikes instead of their cars, and they were wearing sweaters instead of heavy coats. Two young boys skateboarded up the sidewalk, laughing as they made their way to the center of town. The sight brought a smile to his lips.
Of all the towns he had lived in, or just passed through in his twenty-five years of life, none of them made him feel the way Maddox did. Yes, he loved Crystal and its small-town feel, but once he moved to Maddox and into this loft, Deja realized Crystal hadn’t been enough for him. He didn’t want the craziness of a city, or the quietness of a town the size of Crystal, but Maddox was just right. It had that small town feel, but was also alive with activity. It was a town right out of Norman Rockwell’s mind, and Deja loved it.
Thoughts of Shadow suddenly filled his head, and Deja wondered if his mate would feel the same way? Shadow was used to battle and living in some of the roughest terrain. Would Maddox be enough? Was the fact that Shadow had lived under the most extreme circumstances mean that Crystal was what called to him now? The quiet? The solitude? As much as Deja loved Maddox, if he had to return to Crystal for his mate, then he would. He would just have to commute to Maddox every day for work.
The smile fell from his lips and Deja sighed. But would that ever happen? He thought. The night before came back to him and tears burned his eyes. Shadow had been in so much pain and Deja felt the blame for that. If it hadn’t been for him and the songs he sang, pushing Shadow to face his demons, then Shadow would never had gone through any of it.
He had been selfish with his song choices, and now he had to suffer the consequences. His actions had most certainly pushed his mate farther away.
Deja sighed with the realization that he had messed up. Because of his selfishness, his impatience to have his mate finally deal with his past, so that they could hopefully be together, Shadow was now suffering and probably running in the opposite direction. And he only had himself to blame now.
Just then Deja’s cell began to play “Girls Like You” by Maroon 5 indicating he had a call. Deja reached over and grabbed it, then smiled when he saw it was Blake calling. He slid his thumb across the screen and answered.
“Hey, Blake.”
“Hey, gorgeous. So, you’re finally awake,” Blake replied, and Deja smiled again from hearing the teasing in his friend’s voice.
“How late is it?” he asked as he looked toward his alarm clock, then cringed when he saw it was one in the afternoon.
“After lunch. I figured I would wake your ass, so you’d have time to shower, dress, and eat before the guys got here. I figured now that we have played our first show, we know what works and what doesn’t, so we can make adjustments.”
“Great idea. When are they coming?” Deja asked as he climbed from the bed, then stopped, soaking in the warmth of the sun as it kissed his naked body.
“They should be here around three.”
“Great. I’ll jump in the shower now.”
“I just finished making some delicious Tamales and an amazing Chiles Rellenos. Get your butt in gear, so I can feed you before they get here.”
Deja laughed, then turned from the large picture window. “Sound wonderful but… for breakfast?
Blake laughed. “Hey, you’re the one who slept the day away. So… um… have you heard anything?”
The smile fell from Deja’s lips as he heard the hesitancy in Blake’s voice, and knew exactly what he was talking about.
“No. I haven’t heard anything. I called my brother Lon around two this morning, and he said Shadow was in his room and Snake was with him, but he didn’t know anything more.”
“Okay, thanks.”
“I’m sure everything is okay. I mean, I know one of my brothers, or even Suneth or Wade, would call me if it wasn’t, so let’s stay positive okay?”
“You’re right. So, let’s get that cute little butt of yours moving, right. And if Mexican food doesn’t float your boat for breakfast, I’ll make you one of those western omelets you like so much.”
“Mmm, that sounds good. Can I have one of those and try some of the other?”
Blake laughed again. “How someone as small as you can eat like a football linebacker and not gain an ounce is beyond me. Are you sure you’re not a paranormal?”
“I don’t know about that, but I do know good food when I eat it. Give me half hour and I’ll be right down.”
“Sure thing, buddy. See you in a while, crocodile.”
Deja laughed as he hung up the phone, then tossed it on the bed before heading to the bathroom.
CHAPTER 11
Gods, he couldn’t do this. Shadow turned, trying to make his escape, but he was grabbed by Snake and Wade. They both gave him encouraging smiles as they turned him back toward the door.
“You can do this, brother,” Wade said.
“We’ll be right here if you need us,” Snake said. “But you do know you need to do this, man. If you’re going to have any hope of convincing your man that you really do want him and are ready, then you need to do this.”
“I know. Going up against a band of angry insurgents is no big thing. I never even break a sweat, but put me there,” Shadow said as he pointed toward the door. “Why is facing my mate filling me with terror?”
Snake and Wade both smiled. “Because he isn’t the enemy, but he has the most power over your life. Now, go get your man,” Wade replied, and he gave Shadow a small shove.
He could do this. Shadow drew in a deep breath and gripped the handle, then froze. Okay, maybe he couldn’t do this.
Snake reached around him, gripped the door handle and pulled the door open. The darkness inside gave him a sense of foreboding, which was odd, considering he usually loved the dark. But now, standing here, once he took that first step into this place, he was taking that first step to his future. The future he now wanted so desperately.
Shadow inhaled deep and held it for a moment before he slowly released it, then straightened his spine, raised his chin, and took that step. The door closed behind him and he found himself in complete darkness. But it was only for a moment. Walking into the dark room from a sunny day took his eyes a few minutes to adjust and when they did, he noticed it wasn’t quite as dark as he had originally thought. A few low lights were on, illuminating the way.
He had spoken to Jagger earlier and the vampire had agreed to allow him to do what he was here to do and explained what he needed to accomplish his mission. No, not mission, his goal, his dream.
He walked toward the side of the stage where there was a door leading into the back. Just as he went to step through it, he heard a soft gasp behind him. Shadow froze, then slowly turned to find his brother, Blake.
Blake was carrying a tray filled with food and he placed it on one of the tables as he kept his attention on Shadow. “It’s good to see you’re alright, we were worried.”
Shadow raised a brow as he asked, “We?”
“Yeah, Deja and me. After the way you left last night, we wondered if everything was okay. So, is it? Okay, I mean?” Blake asked nervously.
Shadow smiled, a real god’s honest smile. “Yeah. Everything is great now, or actually, I hope it will be very soon.”
“Well, that’s not vague at all,” Blake replied with a chuckle as he shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans.
Shadow looked at him seriously as the smile fell from his lips. “I know you and I need to talk, and I would really like that, but right now I have a mate to woo.”
Blake smiled, then started to laugh as he shook his head. “Woo? Okay. Well, if you’re interested and I think you are, Deja will be down in a few minutes. That’s what this lunch set up is for. The band will be here in about an hour and I wanted Deja to get some food in him before that.”
Shadow smiled again. “Thanks.”
“No problem. I’ll just be back in the kitchen if you all need anything,” Blake said as he motioned with his thumb over his shoulder toward the kitchen.
Shadow nodded, the
n turned and headed backstage. As he moved around looking for everything Jagger had explained he would need, butterflies began to swarm in his stomach. Shit, how pathetic am I? He had spent years in one war or the other and never once had this feeling in his stomach or chest, but now here, doing what he was about to do… shit, he needed to grow some balls. Shadow chastised himself, then suddenly, found what he was looking for.
* * * *
Deja hit the button for the first floor, then leaned back against the wall as the door slid closed. He loved having his own private elevator. Maybe he could put a nice potted plant in the corner and spruce it up a bit? He would check with Jagger if that was okay. The last thing he wanted to do was cause a safety hazard or something. Jagger’s wonderful mate, one of Maddox’s Fire Chiefs would not be happy if he did that.
He also loved living in the loft above the club. It was so roomy and spacious, with all high-end appliances, large windows that had great views, and best of all, he didn’t have to commute too far to work. He also didn’t need to dress in a uniform or get all fussied up until showtime. He just slipped on his favorite purple sweat pants that hung nicely on his hips, a slightly oversized blue tee-shirt that was soft and comfortable, and slid his feet into his slip-on fuzzy-lined moccasins, scooped all his hair into a bun, and he was ready for his meeting.
The bell dinged, and Deja straightened, moving away from the wall to wait for the doors to open. As they did, he was assaulted with the scrumptious smell of whatever Blake had made. Deja’s stomach growled from the magnificent aroma, and he couldn’t wait to taste whatever masterpiece Blake had come up with. He knew Blake had said Mexican food, and it wasn’t like he had never had any before, but he had never had Blake’s, and Deja was looking forward to it.
He moved away from the elevator and walked through the vestibule, then stepped into the low-lit club. Deja spotted the table Blake had started setting up for their lunch and made his way over, then pulled out a chair and bent his knees, sliding a leg under his butt as he sat. He reached for one of the tamales and moaned when the delicious scent hit his nose. Deja opened his mouth and took a bite, but then froze as movement on the stage caught his attention.