Dark Memories (The Phantom Diaries, #2)

by Kailin Gow

  “Annette, if rumor gets out that you were possessed… Your reputation is at stake here.”

  While I silently cursed Judy for being too quick to tell anyone, I was nonetheless relieved to see this side of Aaron. I needed to know the real man under the façade.

  “Aaron, this isn’t a joke. Haven’t you noticed a change in me lately?”

  He smiled, a smile usually reserved for children who came around looking for autographs and photos. “Then tell me, where is this Phantom?” Standing, he looked around and spread his arms out about him, a condescending smirk on his lips.

  “It doesn’t work that way.”

  His chuckle was annoying and belittling. He was ridiculing the great hardship I’d been through and wasn’t showing an ounce of understanding or sympathy.

  “Annette.” He returned to my side and took my hand as he resumed his seat. “I know this has been a stressful time for you. This is a whole new world that has opened up to you, and for such an innocent, it can be overwhelming.”

  I nodded, but couldn’t bring myself to look up at him.

  “What with rehearsals, shows and the endless stream of people all wanting a piece of you, it’s understandable you’ll be exhausted and perhaps even a little….” He trailed off, unable or unwilling to finish his sentence.

  “A little what? Delusional? Crazy?”

  “I’ve managed to make arrangements for that trip to Paris, and I think it would do you a world of good. The change of pace will replenish your energy and a change of scenery is always good for the soul.”

  I tried to be enthusiastic, but my smile was weak.

  “It will be a truly romantic escapade.” He brushed his lips against my temple then tilted my chin up to find my lips. His kiss was tender, but brief. “You’ll love my family estate, and Paris… ah, you’ll never want to leave.”

  He made it seem so wonderful. And getting away from the drama of Kristine and Eric would certainly do me some good. Perhaps he was right. “I have always wanted to see Paris,” I finally conceded.

  “And I’ll see if I can’t get you a guest stint at the Paris Opera House. If you think New York fell in love with you, wait until the Parisians hear you. They’ll make you one of their own and refuse to let you go.”

  “Would we see the EiffelTower, and the Louvre and Versailles?”

  “Anything and everything you want to see, my love. I…” He took my hand and draped it over his arm and guided me up. “… will be your personal guide through the enchanted streets of my ancestors.”

  He gazed around the dressing room. “Don’t worry,” he said. His words seemed intended for someone other than me. “I’ll do whatever it takes to protect you from this Phantom. Or whatever it is that have you so shaken up.”

  Chapter 13

  The following day I was back in rehearsal. Judy was quick to spot me across the stage and wink at me.

  “Hey,” she said when we had a break. “I told a few people about… you know.”

  “So I’ve noticed.” I didn’t know whether to laugh or be angry with her for having divulged our secret to so many people so fast.

  “Really?” she asked as she passed a small towel through her damp hair. “How’s that?”

  “Well, for starters, people have been looking at me kind of funny this morning. And, barely an hour after I told you yesterday, word of a rumor was already coming back to me.”

  “I hope you’re not too angry. It’s not as if many people believed me anyways. If anything I’m the one who is coming off looking a bit crazy.”

  “You deserve it.” I teased. “This was supposed to be between you and me… and Chace.”

  “Some even think I’ve got a beef against you.”

  “I was beginning to wonder that myself.”

  She laughed and nudged me over with her hips. “I did tell the one person who counts at least. Chace seemed to take it pretty well. I think it cleared up a lot of things for him.”

  “He believed you?” It seemed impossible.

  “The change in you was dramatic, Annette. All of a sudden you were cool and aloof with all of us. You took to speaking French more and more. And the clothes. Geez! Did you see what you went out wearing? Girl, that was even more uninhibited than what I’m capable of.”

  My cheeks were quickly heated and I could just imagine the intense blush that now colored my face. Just thinking of the skimpy dresses Kristine had me parading in was enough to make me want to hide.

  “Thanks, Judy. I guess I can forgive your loose lips if you’ve at least managed to convince Chace I really wasn’t myself.”

  “Speaking of.” She gestured towards Chace who was heading our way. “Look at that boy smile. He’s really got it bad, Annette.”

  I tried to ignore the gentle warning in her statement. Was she afraid I’d hurt Chace?

  “I’ll leave you two love birds.” She tapped me on the back and high-fived Chace as she passed him by.

  He stopped in front of me and stood there for a moment, unsure what to say. “I had a little talk with Judy.” Adorably shy and hesitant, he was as sweet as always.

  “I’m glad.”

  “Do you have a minute to come have coffee or something?”

  I glanced around and tried to catch the eye of the director. When he glanced at me I tapped my wrist and held my hand out three times to indicate I’d be gone for fifteen minutes. While he didn’t seem happy with the length of the break, he waved me away.

  “Let’s go,” I said. “We have just enough time to go to Pause Café.”

  We hurried across the street and Chace wasted no time putting his arm around me in the process.

  “I’ve missed holding you,” he whispered in my ear. He pulled the door open and headed for the counter to order while I found us a table.

  The place was abuzz with activity and it took almost five minutes for him to arrive. He plunked down a coffee in front of me and a hot cocoa for himself before taking a seat across from me and staring me straight in the eye.

  “This is wild,” he said. He reached out to take my hand and his fingers played along mine. “It explains everything, but it’s wild. Too wild.”

  “I know. I lived through it and I can barely believe it.”

  “It must have been awful. I wish I’d known. I wish I could have helped you. I’m sorry I underestimated you. I really should have seen it wasn’t you. The change was far from subtle. Admittedly I considered the possibility of drugs, but I didn’t really think you were the type to do that. But if it wasn’t drugs, or stress, then who could have thought you’d be…”

  “Possessed,” I finished for him. I smiled and tried to make light of the whole thing. “Who could have known?”

  He fidgeted and sipped his cocoa. I could hear his feet skimming over the floor and realized just how nervous this made him. It was understandable. Dealing with someone who’d been possessed couldn’t be easy.

  “Possessed.” The word hung there for a moment, as though he was letting it completely sink in. “It sounds so ridiculously unbelievable, yet I saw you. I saw the extreme change in you. But… possessed? It’s like something out of a movie.”

  His eyes gazed into the distance and he bit his lip in concentration. “I should have known you’d never hurt me the way you… she… whoever did. It was unbelievable the way you behaved. When I saw you in Aaron’s arms, your body pressed up to him, your hands all over him and your eyes…”

  I reached for his hand. When he brought his gaze back to me I could still see the confusion. That wanton image was emblazed on his memory and I wondered if I’d ever be able to erase it.

  “You didn’t care about me at all. In fact, you seemed to enjoy the pain you caused. You relished my broken heart with a wicked gleam in your eye. I think that’s what hurt the most. Losing you to another man is difficult, but those things happen sometimes. But seeing the pleasure with which you threw your affair with Aaron in my face.”

  “Chace, please.” I knew all this was c
athartic for him, but it was driving me crazy hearing about all the antics Kristine had pulled.

  “I’ve never been a jealous man. Never possessive or obsessed. I’m not the type to go into a rage over a girl; to fight.” He looked into his cup and that distant gaze returned. “I don’t know what got into me that night when I hit him. I could have killed him. I wanted to kill him. I didn’t even know I was capable of such anger, such violence.”

  “It was under very odd circumstances, Chace. Don’t kick yourself over it.”

  He nodded, though unconvincingly. “Do you know who it is?”

  “Who?”

  “This Phantom.This person who needed to take control of your body. Do you know who it is, or what they want?”

  I hadn’t been prepared for that and I suddenly felt uncomfortable talking about Kristine. Throughout all this, Eric had been my sole confidante; the only person who could truly understand everything that was happening.

  But now that I’d made up my mind not to see Eric again, I knew I’d have to talk it out with someone eventually. And I knew that Chace deserved to know who had hurt him so badly.

  “Her name is Kristine.” Simply saying the name aloud brought a shiver to my spine. “She died over a hundred years ago, bitter and vengeful. She’d been an opera singer in Paris, but her passions and spiteful nature ruined her career then ruined her life. She was a gypsy and there are apparently some family ties somewhere back there. I found an old poster of a show she starred in and she looked exactly like me.”

  “You're related to this Phantom?”

  “Distantly, yes.”

  His gaze scrutinized me.

  “Don’t look at me like that. I’m nothing like her. She was greedy and selfish. She used people and threw them away at her convenience. Her body and wanton nature were used to drive men insane and have them doing her will. No morals, no scruples… I would almost have to say no heart.”

  “I can believe that. I thought I was going insane when I saw you with Aaron. I was literally blinded by rage.” His fingers wrapped around mine and squeezed. “I hope you don’t feel responsible for my leaving New York. I do understand you had no power to stop her.”

  “What do you mean? Are you still leaving? Even after I’ve explained this all to you?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Chace, I would feel responsible if you left. You have a bright career here and you're the first chair violinist in one of the biggest shows in New York. Please don’t go.”

  “Being indecisive could also ruin my career. I’ve already given notice here and they’re already considering me in San Francisco. To back out now would be unprofessional.”

  “I can explain things to the director here, and surely San Francisco would understand if you’ve received a better offer… perhaps an incentive to stay here.”

  He grinned and it warmed me to my toes. “I have to admit I don’t like the idea of leaving you in all of this. This Phantom isn’t through with you yet. I want to help you through this. I want to be here to fight off this Phantom. No doubt I would recognize her if she were to return to you.”

  “She won’t. I won’t let her.” I set my empty coffee cup on the table and sat back.

  “Why did she possess you? What does she really want?” He took my cue and finished his cocoa before standing.

  “I don’t know that yet.” If I knew, it would make things so much easier. I would know which move to make to protect myself and to keep her from winning. I pulled my coat on and we walked out into the cold.

  At the curb, Chace stopped and stared up at the Met across the street. “You know, whatever she wants, it’s tied into this place. She haunted this house, she ruined the stage and insisted on having you as the lead singer. All the strange things that have happened have been in there. Her unresolved issues are there. Perhaps it would be best if you leave for a while. Get away from the Met.”

  “I feel safer already.” I squeezed his hand, turning to him and beaming a confident smile. “I’m so happy you're staying.”

  He returned the squeeze of my hand and gave me a warm kiss on the forehead.

  “I don’t know what I would have done without our weekly excursions around town.” Feeling happier than I had in days, I practically skipped across the street while Chace laughed as he kept up with me.

  Reaching the other curb, he pulled me into his arms. “Is that all I’m good for? An excursion guide?”

  “That and teasing me to death, and buying me ice cream and pretzels… oh and coffee.” I laughed and was rewarded with his killer grin that had my stomach turning somersaults. “And this, too.” I leaned into him and planted a warm, wet kiss on his smiling lips. A deep chuckle resonated from deep within him and within seconds the sweet kiss was aflame with passion.

  Awareness of our surroundings finally filtered through and I pulled away. “There’s something about you, Chace,” I said in a voice that was throatier than I’d expected. “Something that makes me feel safe; home. I don’t have to be the opera diva with you and I can forget all the seriousness of playing that part. I love how easy it is to just laugh and have fun with you.”

  “I’m hoping you’ll come to love a whole lot more.”

  “I don’t know where we’re going, Chace, and I don’t want to make any promises. But I do so enjoy being with you, and who knows where that will lead us. I’m only eighteen and I barely know myself. I’m not ready for something too serious and marriage isn’t even on the horizon yet.”

  “I know and I understand. Don’t worry, I’m not preparing to propose and put any pressure on you. But one thing’s for sure. I do want to be around when the notion of marriage does make its way over the horizon.”

  “You're so unbearably sweet. No matter what happens, I hope we’ll always be friends.”

  He laughed and pulled me into his arms, but I could see that simply being friends was far from his thoughts. “Judy said you cried after you learned I was leaving,” he mumbled into my hair.

  I cursed Judy for laying it on too thick. Of course I was distraught, but crying?

  “I’m going to hold onto that thought and know how it truly reflects the feelings you have in your heart for me, even if you're not ready to make any major moves just yet. And I want you to know, my affection for you has nothing to do with your diva status. It’s you I want, not the opera singer on stage. I know that all of this is a part of who you are, but it’s this girl…” He grabbed my hand and swung it back and forth playfully as he led me to the door of the Met. “… this simple girl who likes ice cream and walks in the park that I want to spend the rest of my life with.”

  Chapter 14

  I was smiling, elated, and I felt a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders as I entered the Met. My relief at Chace’s understanding was more heartfelt than I’d expected. I’d underestimated my fear of losing him as a friend and now understood the importance of keeping a connection with him.

  Opening the door to my dressing room, I still had thoughts of ice cream and walks in the park and already longed to see Chace again; already longed for that sense of childhood pranks and silly giggles.

  As I gathered a few of my personal effects, music sheets set on the small side table caught my eye. A sense of déjà vu enveloped me as I picked up the sheets and scanned the notes. Just as when I’d first arrived at the Met, I was mesmerized by the flow of music across the pages. My curiosity to sing out what appeared to be a marvelous melody drove me to the music room where I’d first met Eric. Memories of that day filled me and a strange longing to see Eric whispered at my consciousness.

  The room still held his scent; his essence. The piano, where his fingers had lovingly played out the melody of so many songs as he’d coached and coaxed me. I pulled out the small piano bench and passed my hand over the smooth and worn wood. Then sat down.

  My breathing accelerated as I set out the sheets of music and glimpsed some of the lyrics. They gripped me and I knew singing them would be difficult
if not impossible. With trepidation and longing, my fingers slowly tapped out the haunting melody.

  The pain of a hundred years

  Loved not by the woman who bore

  The small boy doomed to tears

  Scarred and feared through days of yore

  Light touched the heart

  Of a beast so loathsome

  The beauty and purity to tear apart

  Every shred lest thy come

  The heart that aches

  For the loss of all joy

  Unfair as life’s turns take

  Betrayed by the age old ploy

  Will death sooth the pain

  Can the heart once so shattered

  Learn to beat again

  Or does it matter

  My fingers froze and my throat constricted with heartache. “I hurt, too, Eric,” I muttered into the stillness. I felt his pain and it mingled too profoundly with mine. “A century of yearning for your beauty and love has brought naught…” No longer capable of singing, I spoke the lyrics before by eyes blurred too heavily with tears.

  A chill of damp air trickle up my back and rested at the nape of my neck. I knew he was there. Torn between longing for his touch and a desperate desire to run, I held my breath and waited. The chill increased and his scent wafted to my nostrils.

  A flash of memory.A flash of his flesh. My heart immediately returned to the moments spent wrapped in his arms. I sensed his lips on my skin and longed for his warmth to rid the chill that consumed me.

  My fingers ran lovingly over the notes on the page as I stood. “This melody is haunting and heartbreaking.”

  “Heartbroken,” he corrected.

  My heart tightened. I reached for the sheets and brought them to my chest, as though to protect me from the pain I was to turn and face.

  His eyes gleamed with unshed tears. “I wrote that for you.” He gazed at the floor. “No doubt you realized that.”

  Though I knew touching him would reawaken all the emotions I’d wanted to extinguish, my hand had a will of its own and reached for his cheek. “This song is absolutely beautiful.”