Doing the Right Thing

by Barbara Elsborg

  She delivered this at breakneck speed, then waited. He didn’t speak. Addie dragged her eyes up to his. He was staring at her in what could have been astonishment, but might have been horror. She clenched her fists under the table.

  “Why?” he asked.

  “D-does it matter?”

  “It does if there’s some deranged ex-boyfriend you’re trying to get rid of, some massive bruiser who might launch an attack on bits of my body I’d prefer to keep intact.” He picked up his drink and put it down again before it reached his lips.

  “There isn’t.”

  He tipped his head on one side. “Why then?”

  “I invented a boyfriend, only no one thinks he exists.”

  “If you invented him, then he doesn’t.”

  Good-looking, but a smart Alec. She might have known.

  “I need…certain people to believe he’s real.”

  “Like who?”

  “My mother.” The only one who mattered. “You don’t have to meet her. You only have to talk to my housemate and her boyfriend, who happens to be my youngest brother. Then he can tell my mum you’re real.”

  “Are you gay?”

  She gawped at him. “No.” Did she look gay? “Are you? Actually, that doesn’t matter. Being gay is fine. You can still stay the night. In fact, it might be better—”

  “I’m not gay.” He glared at her.

  “Oh.”

  “Don’t sound disappointed.”

  “I’m not.”

  “How long have you and your imaginary friend been going out?” Will tapped his fingers on the table, flipping the coaster.

  “Er…six months.” This was so humiliating.

  “Six months?” He slapped the coaster flat. “Wouldn’t it have been easier to find a boyfriend? Better than lying to your family.”

  Addie bristled. “Look, I presume you’re a businessman and this is a simple business deal. Stay over and leave with…” She paused. Could she drop to fifty? No, he’d notice. “A hundred pounds,” she concluded in reluctance. “And as you’re staying at the hotel, you’ll no longer need a room, so you’ll save even more.”

  He started flipping the coaster again. Addie took another gulp of her drink, and shuddered.

  “Why’ve you left this so late?” he asked.

  She sighed. She hadn’t anticipated being grilled like a sausage. “Things came to a head last Sunday. I’ve spent the whole week looking.” Her whole life looking. “I wanted someone perfect to fit the guy I’d described, but I’ve run out of time.”

  “You should have stopped after ‘perfect’.”

  Addie glanced up and saw no smile. “Sorry.”

  “So where do you live?”

  “Why do you want to know where I live?” She was immediately defensive.

  Will chuckled. It took a moment or two to sink into Addie’s brain.

  “You mean you’ll do it?”

  He nodded. Her heart stopped. He’d said yes. The man from Delmonte had said yes. She took a huge gasp of air as though she’d surfaced after a deep dive.

  “Thank you.” Two words that were nowhere near enough to show her gratitude, but kissing his feet seemed over the top. She’d already written down her address, drawn a map. Her fingers shook as she handed it over.

  “Thank you so much. You won’t have to talk much, just say hello, shave in the bathroom, sprinkle hair in the sink, leave the toilet seat up, that sort of thing.”

  He raised his eyebrows. “I never leave the seat up.”

  “Sorry.” Addie jumped to her feet, desperate to leave before he changed his mind.

  “Hold on, what’s my imaginary name?” he asked.

  “Sorry. Noah Davies.”

  She backed away.

  “What do I do for a living? Where do I live? How did we meet? Don’t you think you should give me your mobile number?”

  “You’re an investment consultant. You live and work in Manchester. We only see one another at weekends. I always go to your place. I can’t give you a mobile number because my brother has my phone. I put his in the washing machine.” Why had she told him that? She looked at his face. She shouldn’t have told him that.

  “So what’s different this weekend?”

  “I’m afraid your mother died.” Addie bit her lip.

  “What of?”

  Her mind went blank, but not blank enough. “A flesh-eating virus.”

  He smirked and Addie went into a fast reverse, gripped by such a disturbing surge of lust, she feared she’d leap on him.

  “I like a full-cooked breakfast on Sundays,” he called in a loud voice, “with scrambled eggs, fried bread and mushrooms.”

  He grinned and as her eyes registered that everyone else in the bar was grinning too, Addie turned and fled.

  Chapter Two

  The following morning, Will expected Ed to join him for breakfast, but his brother’s mobile was turned off and there was no answer from his room. The night before, after their session in the gym, Jack had spent two hours spoiling a decent curry talking about his plans for the business he’d bought in West Yorkshire. Will and Ed were management consultants, experts in business development. They already knew what Jack wanted so why he needed to go over it every time he gave them another contract, Will had no idea, except Jack Magelan liked the sound of his own voice. Fortunately, Jack’s relatives lived in Harrogate, so he was spending the rest of weekend there and not with Will and Ed.

  Last night, Ed had eaten all the poppadoms, pleaded tiredness and disappeared, leaving Will to entertain Jack. Only it hadn’t been very entertaining. When he’d finished spouting about his business, Jack had turned his attention to Will’s private life. Will had landed the first Magelan contract after he’d married Vee, Jack’s god-daughter. Jack was a devout Catholic who considered Will’s divorce a sin let alone a huge mistake. It was neither, but Will guessed if it hadn’t been for the fact that the Mansell brothers were good at what they did, Jack would have terminated their arrangement in the way Will had terminated his marriage.

  Will had almost finished breakfast by the time his brother turned up wearing the same clothes as the night before. Ed helped himself to black coffee and a large bowl of sugary cereal from the elaborate buffet before slumping next to Will.

  “What happened to you?” Will asked.

  Ed winced. “Don’t shout.”

  Will sighed.

  “I crossed the road to the night club,” Ed mumbled.

  “And didn’t come back?”

  “Sophie was very persuasive.” Ed screwed up his eyes. “I think her name was Sophie.”

  “You can’t remember?”

  “There were two. I can’t remember which one I ended up with.”

  “Not both of them? You’re losing your touch.” Will ate his last mouthful of scrambled egg.

  “Yep, it’s worrying. Didn’t you have a date with the legs from the gym?”

  Will had let Ed and Jack think so. “Unlike you, I don’t sleep with every woman I talk to.” Will got to his feet. “Be down in the car park in thirty minutes.”

  Because Will had another contract in Leeds to run parallel with the Magelan job, he’d signed up for a short-term rental property, a much better deal than paying for hotel rooms and restaurants. He thought it unlikely he and Ed would see much of their London homes before the New Year. On the plus side, Will wouldn’t see his ex-wife either. He and Ed had driven up with a selection of their possessions, though Will ended up with most of his brother’s clothes on the backseat of his Lexus. Storage space in Ed’s Boxster being devoted to his precious music system and a few million DVDs.

  Will had booked the rental house in Alwoodley over the internet, so when the pair of them pulled up in their cars, it was a relief to find it in a good neighbourhood, a leafy suburb about seven miles from Leeds city centre. Ed raced round the house like an excited puppy, whooping over the huge TV and Sky, the presence of which had swung his agreement about the house. Will went through eac
h room, logging what was there and what else they needed to get, like bed linen, pillows, towels, a couple of work lamps and the right-sized coffee table for pain-in-the-neck Ed to rest his feet on, since the delicate glass thing that came with the house would have to be moved.

  Will drove them to a retail park in Birstall where they crawled through a heaving Ikea along with every family in West Yorkshire that had three small, badly behaved children, an enormous buggy and a super-slow grandma. Will’s only pleasure came from spotting the item with the most ridiculous name. Ed found everything fascinating, particularly a pretty sales assistant with long blonde hair and big breasts. If it hadn’t been for the fact that she lived in Huddersfield and Ed was tired, Will guessed his brother would have had a date for the night—again.

  As it was, by the time they’d driven back to Leeds, called at the grocery store, picked up pizzas, then constructed the suitably named Nasti coffee table—all without arguing because they worked well together—neither of them wanted to move. Ed emerged from the kitchen with a twin pack of Predator movies and six bottles of Corona. He planted himself on the couch, put his feet up and gave a contented sigh.

  Will accepted a beer and glanced at Ed. It took so little to make his younger brother happy. Easy-going Ed waltzed through life looking bemused and women loved him. Really loved him. Ed used some terrible pick-up lines. If Will had whispered “I’m great in bed,” in a woman’s ear, he’d have had his face slapped. When Ed said it, they wanted him to prove it. Will had no idea what women found so desirable about him, but if it could have been bottled, they’d have made a fortune.

  It was lucky they didn’t go for the same type. Will liked chic and sophisticated, while Ed preferred flashy tarts in tight dresses. Will wanted his women to have a brain but Ed was only interested in getting them naked. Will wasn’t sure if Addie had a brain, but he wouldn’t mind seeing her naked even if she wasn’t his type. For once, Will had managed to pull without even trying.

  Addie could hardly wait for her housemate Lisa to go shopping with her boyfriend David, Addie’s brother. The moment the door closed, Addie transformed into Domestic Terminator and went berserk with a duster and a spray gun. Lisa was the untidiest person Addie had ever known. They met when they found themselves sharing a room in a hall of residence in their first year at Bristol University. Addie arrived with one suitcase and a rucksack to find Lisa surrounded by a mountain of clothes and shoes, a TV, DVD player, mini fridge, laptop, several strings of fairy lights, a million cushions, a pair of loving parents and a partridge in a pear tree. Well, a large potted plant.

  Because Addie was on her own, Mr and Mrs Jefferson-Smith took her and Lisa for a farewell meal. Their tears when they kissed their daughter goodbye made Addie feel like crying too. That morning, her mother had gone to have her hair done as usual without saying a word. Her father had dropped Addie off at Leeds station and kept the engine running while she took her case from the trunk. Addie’s three brothers had all gone to Leeds University and though they hadn’t lived at home after the first year, they’d stayed near enough to keep their mother happy. Addie knew the further she was from her mother, the happier they’d both be. Since there was no university at Lands End or in the Outer Hebrides, Addie settled for Bristol.

  Considering how little Addie and Lisa had in common, it surprised them both they’d ended up sharing a house. After they parted company in Bristol, Addie embarked on a series of not-very-impressive jobs until she’d been persuaded to return to Yorkshire to help look after her sick father and take up the offer of a part-time sales and admin job with Booth’s Travel. Booths did work for Easyspeak Language School in Leeds, where Lisa worked. Recommended by Lisa, Addie had been offered work two days a week teaching English conversation. When Lisa asked Addie if she’d like to share her house, Addie couldn’t leave her mother’s fast enough.

  The price she paid was life with the messiest person in the world. Addie cleaned without stopping for lunch, which was her excuse for eating the three rock-hard chocolate mints she found down the side of the couch. An action she regretted when the next item the couch regurgitated was an empty condom wrapper, though she kept it to toss in the bathroom bin, for a touch of authenticity.

  By the time Lisa and David returned, Addie had only freaked out twice about spiders and the house was well-aired, sparkling and tidy. Lisa’s possessions, including a pile of origami sculptures of animals and insects that bore no resemblance to any insect or animal Addie had ever seen, together with thirty-seven bottles of nail polish and ten pairs of shoes, were piled up outside Lisa’s bedroom.

  “Wow,” Lisa muttered as she walked round the lounge. “The cleaning fairy’s paid us a visit.”

  “Bloody hell,” said David. “Are we in the right house?”

  Lisa tossed her handbag on the couch along with a pile of plastic carrier bags. Her coat flew onto a chair and her shoes in front of the fire. Addie winced.

  “Is Noah anally retentive or something? Is that why he hasn’t come to stay? I could have tidied,” Lisa said.

  Since she never had, Addie thought that unlikely.

  “I told you he needed to be near his mum while she was ill. By the way, don’t mention her. He’ll get upset.” Or forget she’s dead. “What did you buy?” Addie knew the way to deflect Lisa.

  Lisa pulled out her purchases for inspection. Five more bottles of nail polish, two pairs of trousers and three jumpers. Addie oohed and aahed in the right places. Lisa was always protesting about bills and moaning about the mortgage, but it was clear the Jefferson-Smiths subsidized their daughter.

  Out of the corner of her eye, Addie saw David heading for the kitchen.

  “David, if you even look at those I’ll kill you,” she shouted.

  She’d left a selection of cheese pastry snacks cooling on a wire tray. The chances of David leaving them untouched were about as high as expecting an alligator to ignore a chicken dangled over its nose.

  “So where are you going tonight?” Addie asked.

  “Thought we’d stay in,” Lisa said.

  There was a distinct smell of burning rubber as Addie’s heart screeched to a halt. “I thought Noah and I could have the place to ourselves.”

  Lisa shrieked with laughter. “It’s Saturday, course we’re going out, but we’ll wait and have a drink with Noah.”

  “Great.” Addie pushed a smile on to her face.

  David came in chewing. “Here.” He handed Addie her pay-as-you-go mobile. “I picked up another today. Yours doesn’t seem to be working.”

  “David!”

  “Don’t moan after what you did to mine.”

  “You shouldn’t have left it in your trousers and put them in our laundry basket.”

  “You should have checked the pockets.”

  “You should have washed them yourself.”

  He glared at her. She glared at him.

  “Stop fighting,” Lisa mumbled as she came out of the kitchen, her mouth full and a cheese straw in her fingers.

  Addie hoped there were some left.

  “Is Noah going to be here soon?” Lisa asked for the third time.

  “Yes.”

  “Has he rung?”

  “No.” No use lying about that.

  She knew Lisa wouldn’t wait much longer. David, on the other hand, lay on the couch, drinking beer and watching football, quite happy to stay in. There was no way Lisa would let him.

  David had appeared one night, not long after Addie had moved in, carrying a box of her belongings. When Addie had gone through them, she realized her mother had eradicated all traces of her ever having lived at home. The box held swimming certificates, Brownie badges and the contents of Christmas crackers she’d saved over the years, plus fluff from her drawers. David had taken one look at Lisa and fallen hard.

  They’d been dating for five months. Lisa, who was thin as a whippet with blonde hair straight out of a bottle, had been seduced by policeman David’s uniform and later by his handcuffs. Lisa had on
ce told Addie, if she didn’t think a guy was husband material, she didn’t go out with him for more than five months. Addie couldn’t believe anyone in their right mind would want to marry David, so she was almost certain his number was up.

  Lisa looked at the prone figure of her boyfriend, a large packet of salt and vinegar crisps balanced on his chest, and frowned.

  “I’m hoping when David meets Noah, a bit of his charm will sense the vacuum in David’s heart and be sucked across.” She glanced at Addie. “The trouble is I’ve gone on so much about the fabulous Noah, David hates him.”

  “Guys who send flowers, champagne and big boxes of chocolates ruin women,” David said.

  “You think you’ve been generous if you bring me a six pack and a Mars bar, and you eat the bloody Mars bar,” Lisa said.

  David offered Lisa a crisp. “My last one. Don’t say I don’t treat you well.”

  Addie laughed. “He must have some good points. You’re still going out with him.”

  “One very good point.” Lisa grinned. “At least when I can tear him away from the football. To be honest that’s all that occupies David’s limited mind—football and sex. He’s insatiable. For both.”

  “I’m here, you know, listening to this,” David said.

  “They’re moans of displeasure I hear coming from your room?” Addie asked.

  Lisa laughed. “Yeah, when he doesn’t get it right.”

  Addie put her hands over her ears. “God, this is my brother you’re talking about.”

  “Maybe he could ask Noah for a few pointers.” Lisa raised her eyebrows.

  “Don’t you dare,” Addie said and a thousand butterflies began to flap in her stomach.

  “I hope you’re joking.” David sat up and belched.

  Noah had seemed like a logical extension of Addie’s imaginary childhood friend Leo, only now she engaged in imaginary sex as well. When Lisa had pressed for details of Addie’s exhausting weekends in Manchester, Addie made it up. She had a thousand ways to describe seduction, gleaned from erotic paperbacks and Lisa’s magazines.