Doing the Right Thing

by Barbara Elsborg

  Ed banged his glass down so hard on the bar, the liquid sloshed over his hand. “Fucking hell! Are you sure?”

  “She says she is,” Will muttered.

  “And you believe her?”

  “What am I supposed to do? Get her to take the pregnancy test in front of me?”

  “Yes,” Ed said.

  Will ran his fingers through his hair. “I think she’s telling the truth.”

  “How could you let this happen?”

  “I didn’t do it on purpose.”

  Will had thought about the night of Elinor’s party as he’d driven over. He’d been at the bottom of the garden, having a quiet drunken moment and Vee had snuck up, unzipped him and sat on his lap. He’d used a condom, but not to start with. He sighed. He’d got what he deserved.

  “Are you sure it’s yours?”

  “To be honest, no, but it could be and Vee’s convinced it is. I can’t make her move out now. She offered to. I said no.”

  Ed groaned. “What are you going to do?”

  “Get drunk. Then you can drive me back. I’ll pick the car up in the morning.”

  “What are you going to say to Addie?”

  Will dropped his eyes. “I don’t know.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  When the coach arrived at the pick-up point Addie looked for Will, but only Fred was on board. She bit back her disappointment.

  “Morning, gorgeous,” Fred greeted her.

  “Morning, handsome.”

  “Didn’t expect to see you. Did they change their minds?”

  “Capitulated under the threat of a rebellion by the Furry Friends,” Addie said. “My last trip.”

  “I suppose I’ll have to keep order then. I hope they let me have that cattle prod.”

  Addie laughed. “No management with us today?”

  “No, they were in the office when I left. Saw their cars.”

  Oh, Addie thought. So that was that. She wondered why Will hadn’t come. Why had he changed his mind? She moved aside as the passengers surged toward the coach. A familiar figure led the charge.

  “Good morning, Mrs Wilberforce. Are you looking forward to shopping at Meadowhall?” Addie asked.

  “You’re not going to catch me out. We’re going to Lincoln.”

  Even her attempts at humour were going to fall flat today, Addie thought, and then the day took a nosedive onto concrete.

  “Hello, Mum. I didn’t know you were in the Furry Friends Protection League.”

  “Just joined with Bertha.”

  “Good morning, Mrs Cottingley.” Addie recognized her mother’s neighbour.

  At least her mother would have someone to sit with and wouldn’t plonk herself next to Addie. Still, after what happened last night, maybe her mother didn’t want to be anywhere near her.

  Addie knew fewer people out of this group. They were a bit more intense than the MADS, but with the huge advantage that they weren’t going to run through every West End musical. After Addie had counted heads twice, she told Fred he could close the doors. She turned in her seat to face the passengers.

  “Right,” she called as the coach started up, “I’d like to welcome—” Addie found herself lurching as the vehicle came to a sudden stop.

  “Looks like someone changed his mind,” Fred said. “Sorry about that, folks.” He opened the door and Ed climbed on.

  “Hi.” He beamed at Addie.

  “Apologies for the emergency stop, ladies and gentlemen,” Addie said into her microphone. “We have a senior quality control inspector on board with us today, so if anyone has any complaints, no matter how small, how seemingly insignificant, please feel free to raise them with him and not me.”

  Ed sat next to her and rolled his eyes. Addie went through her spiel, raising several outbursts of laughter, though none, she noticed, from her mother. Should she say something about last night, apologize again? Maybe broadcast it to the coach? Addie slumped down and adjusted her seat belt.

  “Will had something urgent to deal with, so I decided to have a day out instead,” Ed said. “I hope you’re not too disappointed.”

  “Of course not.” Addie smiled.

  “Liar.”

  “Ed, you’re the only man on this coach who doesn’t have a disturbing interest in small furry creatures. I’m delighted you’re sitting next to me.”

  He laughed. The weird thing was that Addie did feel pleased to see Ed. Sometimes Will overwhelmed her, made her unable to think.

  “You’re not going to dock my wages if I spend some of the afternoon shopping for Christmas presents, are you?” Addie whispered.

  His face lit up. “Course not. Hey, that’s great. We can do it together. Save me a trip to London.”

  There was a harrumph from the seat behind. Addie glanced back. Mr and Mrs Gathercole.

  “Bloody southerner.” The voice of Brian Gathercole.

  Addie grinned. “Have you ever been to Lincoln, Ed?”

  “No. What’s it like?”

  “It’s not London. No Harrods or Selfridges. But it’s an interesting city. I—”

  “Wouldn’t have gone this way,” Brian said in a loud voice.

  Addie gritted her teeth. A hand came through the gap between the headrests and tapped Ed on the shoulder.

  “I said, I wouldn’t have gone this way,” Brian repeated.

  Ed turned. “It’s up to the driver. I’m sure he’s selected the most appropriate route.”

  Addie knew Ed was wasting his time. Brian launched into a monologue about the best way to Lincoln, punctuated with an announcement of the mileage readings from every sign they passed. By the time they pulled into the coach park, Ed looked ready to strangle him and Addie’s stomach ached from trying not to laugh.

  “God, you earn every penny,” Ed whispered.

  Addie was relieved the Gathercoles weren’t in the group that wanted the tour. In the end, only ten passengers were prepared to divide their time between the Magna Carta and shopping. The majority scuttled straight to the Christmas market. Among them, her mother, who disembarked without a word.

  As Addie led her little group around the cathedral and then the castle. Ed kept asking questions. Addie had the distinct impression he was trying to catch her out. The only time Ed shut up was when they entered the darkened room in the castle, to look at the Magna Carta. At last, he seemed impressed.

  When the cultural part of the day was over, they headed back to town.

  “You are endlessly fascinating,” Ed said. “How come you know so much?”

  “I tried to memorize the guide book, but I hadn’t counted on some clever dick quizzing me about Eleanor’s viscera.”

  Ed laughed and then sighed. “I suppose you’ve been looking forward to shopping.”

  “What? You must be joking.” Addie groaned as they weaved through the bustling crowds.

  “You don’t like shopping?” Ed turned to her in genuine shock.

  “No.”

  “You do realize you’re not normal.”

  Addie grimaced. “You’re not the first to make that observation.”

  “Why don’t you like it?”

  “Lack of money doesn’t help, but it’s not just that. I’m hopeless at making decisions, having to choose. The more there is to look at, the less inclined I am to look.”

  Ed pulled Addie to one side to let two young women pass. They had several Christmas carrier bags looped over their arms and matching felt antlers on their heads.

  “Christ, Prancer and Dancer with bare legs and it’s bloody freezing!”

  Ed was fun. They wandered round the market munching gingerbread biscuits cut in the shape of reindeer with Ed giving a running commentary as he bit off each limb. “Only one leg left… Hop-along reindeer… Nose gone… I don’t fancy the tail… Eat that bit for me.” He pushed it into Addie’s mouth.

  His good humour rubbed off and Addie relaxed.

  “Do you want to have a proper lunch or would you rather slip one of those spic
y sausages between your lips?” Ed asked.

  “Ed!” Her mouth opened wide in mock-horror.

  He looked affronted. “It was a perfectly innocent question.”

  “The sausage looks delicious.” Addie grinned.

  Ed bought two.

  “Tasty,” Addie said. “Don’t tell me what’s in it and I might have another.”

  She caught the look in Ed’s eyes and for a moment saw something that confused her. When she sucked mustard off her finger, he let out a little moan. To her complete astonishment, Addie realized she was turning him on. She was part horrified and part thrilled. She knew she should stop, but the immature devil inside her made her do it again, only more slowly, taking her time over each finger and Ed spilt his drink.

  “You’re a very bad girl.”

  A shiver of pleasure rushed through her.

  “But then I knew that, the moment you picked Will up in the gym. In any case, I’m a bad boy and there’s nothing I like better than bad girls.”

  Addie’s internal organs rearranged themselves in a higgledy-piggledy mess.

  “I’m not bad,” she muttered.

  “I think you are.”

  Addie wanted to be bad. She longed to be bad.

  “I think you’d better come clean and admit it. Be honest with yourself,” Ed said, a little too loudly. “Don’t hide your real feelings.”

  “Ed, shush.”

  “Proclaim it to the world.” Ed flung his hand in the air. “Shout it out. Shout, hallelujah, I’m bad.”

  Addie tried to look cross. “My brothers don’t like people annoying me.”

  “Good job they’re not here then.” He winked.

  Addie frowned. “You know, Ed, I don’t think you’re bad at all. I think you’re pretending. I think you’re really a nice guy.”

  Ed didn’t think he was nice. He was a sex-fiend. When he saw Addie slip her fingers into her mouth and suck off the bright yellow mustard, he felt himself harden and he had to stop chewing. When she ran her tongue round her lips, the breath caught in his throat. This was not good. He’d come today to make Will jealous, not be jealous of Will.

  He was glad his erection was hidden. He made himself look offended.

  “A nice guy? This is my reputation you’re talking about. You’re looking at the person who made his sex ed. teacher faint.”

  Addie laughed.

  “You’re supposed to ask how,” Ed pointed out.

  “But I might faint.”

  “Very funny.”

  “Okay, what did you do?” Addie stopped walking.

  Ed bent his head to her ear and she blushed.

  “How old were you?”

  “Nine.”

  “Ed, that’s awful. How did you even know that word?”

  “I told you I was bad.” His head shot up. “Oh, look, are they juggling?”

  He took her hand and tugged her over to watch a team toss fire sticks to each other. Ed was alert for her pulling away and felt a rush of pleasure when she didn’t. Her fingers were cold and he pushed her hand into his coat pocket.

  “I want to see if any of them catch the wrong end,” he said.

  “Ed!”

  “What? That’s why everyone else is watching.”

  He sighed in a melodramatic way at her frown of disapproval and after a few moments dragged her back into the heart of the market. Ed stopped at each stall to examine and pronounce on homemade cakes, silver jewellery and hand-knitted sweaters. He charmed the stall holders into giving them cake to try. He helped her choose presents—heavily grained wooden cufflinks boxes for her brothers and delicate necklaces for their wives and Lisa. Addie picked out drums for her nephews and recorders for her nieces.

  “Do they live in detached houses?” Ed asked.

  “Yes. I only want to torture their parents, not the neighbours. Anyway, I’m going away for Christmas so I won’t be around to suffer the consequences.”

  “Shrewd move.” He wondered where she was going.

  Addie helped him choose a wooden salad bowl and serving spoons for his parents, bracelets in five different colours because she wouldn’t say which she liked the best and a remote control car for his grandfather. Nothing for Will. He wasn’t going to mention his brother.

  “Who do you have left to buy for?” Ed asked.

  “My mother, but she won’t like whatever I choose.”

  Ed picked up a pink wrap. “Get her this then.”

  Addie twisted her mouth. “She’ll hate it, but okay.”

  “Suspiciously easy. What sort of thing do your brothers usually buy you?”

  “I always get the same. They join up with my mum and buy me a television license.”

  Ed looked at her in shock. “You’re kidding, right?”

  “No, and I haven’t even got a TV. It’s Lisa’s. She knocks the amount off my rent.”

  “But you get something else?”

  “Er, no. Well, chocolates from my aunt. Dark ones I don’t like. Hugh eats those.” Addie handed the wrap to the stall holder and pulled her purse from her bag.

  “Hi, there. Let me ask you something,” Ed said, spotting one of the passengers off the coach. “Would you like to receive one of these as a present from your daughter?”

  Addie spun round. “Ed, no.”

  “Addie reckons her mother will hate it. What do you think?”

  “Why is she buying it if she thinks that?” the woman asked.

  “She’s someone very difficult to please, so nothing like you I’m sure.” Ed flicked on his beam.

  “I think she’d prefer the blue one,” the woman said.

  “Right, Addie, swap it for the blue one.” Ed grabbed the other wrap.

  “Ed, I’d like you to meet my mother, Joan Winter,” Addie said.

  Ed laughed and when he realized Addie wasn’t joking, he didn’t miss a blink. “Do you think you could buy Addie Sky Sports as well as the TV license? Oh no, you won’t need to bother if—”

  “Ed, no.” Addie clapped her hand over his mouth.

  “Adelina, what do you think you’re doing? What a way to behave in public.”

  Ed fell about laughing as he tried to get rid of Addie’s hand. Her mother poked Addie hard in the ribs with her umbrella.

  “What did you want to say?” Joan asked as Addie let go of Ed to clutch her side.

  “Addie won’t need a TV if she’s off to New Zealand.”

  “New Zealand?” Her mother’s eyes hardened. “You must come for lunch on Sunday and tell us all about it.”

  “I bet Addie would like one of the pink ones,” he shouted over his shoulder as Addie dragged him away.

  As they reached the edge of the market, Ed realized Addie was shaking.

  “Oh God, what’s the matter? What have I done?” he asked. When he lifted her face, he saw she was laughing. “What’s so funny?”

  “You are. But my mother is going to kill me.”

  “She did seem to take things a bit seriously.”

  “I’m going to have little black dots all over my ribs where she poked me with that umbrella.”

  “She doesn’t know about New Zealand then?”

  Addie sighed. “She didn’t. You know the mere fact that you’ve been seen with me means you’ll be in the Christmas letter, pencilled in as my future husband.”

  “You said the H-word.” Ed stepped back, making the sign of the cross with his fingers.

  “My mother said the L-word. Lunch.”

  “I’ll come. I like a nice roast.”

  “If it was that simple, I’d invite you, but it isn’t, so I won’t.”

  “Why?” Ed put his arm over Addie’s shoulder as they walked, thrilled she didn’t pull away.

  “It’s bad enough I always end up humiliated without letting someone else see it happen.”

  “Why?” Ed repeated.

  “Because I’m a disappointment in so many ways, I’ve lost count.”

  “I hate to sound repetitive, but why?”

>   “Awful clothes. Wrong job. Bad attitude.”

  “Sounds like my mother.”

  “You always look smart,” Addie said.

  “You haven’t seen my collection of rude t-shirts.”

  “Was ‘Idaho No Udaho’ one of yours by any chance?”

  “Rumbled. Will borrowed it. So why didn’t you ask me for a drink at the gym?” He really wanted to know why.

  “You were fair-haired and you were smiling.”

  He frowned. “That’s why women like me.”

  “Didn’t Will tell you what I wanted?”

  Ed shook his head.

  “I needed someone tall, dark and handsome to pretend to be the man I’d been going out with for six months. That way my family would apologize for thinking he was either married with children or he didn’t exist. And before you ask, no, he didn’t exist.”

  Ed was bewildered. “Why was it so important your family thought you had a boyfriend?”

  “Because…because I wanted to show them I could be happy,” Addie whispered.

  Ed stopped walking and stood in front of her. “And can you be happy?”

  Addie shrugged. “I don’t know.”

  “I wish you’d asked me.” He gave her a little smile. “I’d have dyed my hair.”

  Addie stared at him. Time seemed to hang between them as she wondered what he was thinking. He’d pushed her toward Will, so what was happening now? She didn’t know how long they stood there, but suddenly snow swirled around their heads and Addie turned her face to the sky and let the moment go. She felt a shift in the air as if a chance had been lost.

  Ed brushed a flake from her nose. “You’re cute.”

  “So are you.”

  He chuckled and they began walking again.

  “Why does your mother think you’re in the wrong job?” Addie asked.

  “Because I went into business with Will instead of doing something for myself.”

  “What would you like to do?”

  Ed pursed his lips. “I’ve always fancied crewing on a yacht.”

  Addie laughed. “How would your mother feel about that?”

  “Not happy. She’s desperate I settle down and get married in the local church, so she can do the flowers. Then I’m expected to have children. Not personally, I should add.”

  “Why haven’t you settled down? Charlotte, Beth and Daisy have practically come to blows. You have women falling at your feet.”