Desired

by Bianca Giovanni

  Chad says the awards are fun, but that the after-parties can get completely wild. James vows to stick with me and be my guide through the debauchery, which I appreciate. I’m not much of a party girl anyway, and I have a feeling that these people party pretty fucking hard.

  Alejandro comes over, his goatee and stubble giving off a rough, but model-esque vibe. He’s shorter than James and Chad, but very muscular, and his full sleeve of elaborate Day of the Dead tattoos are currently covered by a red, knit shirt with a V-neck that comes halfway down his beautiful, caramel brown chest.

  “Lola!” he says, giving me a little squeeze around the waist. “It’s good to see you, baby girl.”

  “You too!” I kiss his cheek.

  He greets James with a warm hug and then stands next to Chad to chat with us.

  “I heard you couldn’t decide on a dress,” he teases when we get to the subject of the red carpet.

  “I know!” I laugh, shaking my head at my own indecisiveness. “I couldn’t narrow it down—”

  “So we schlepped three dresses,” James interrupts, acting like the whole selection process was an epic chore.

  “Whatever! I needed choices!” I feel myself blush. “I was worried because I don’t want to look slutty, but a lot of the things I tried on made me too big up top—which was the last thing I wanted at an event like this.” In a room full of silicone starlets, my goal was to keep my bosom on the modest side.

  “So you’ve got big boobs. What’s the big deal? You should roll with it. At least yours didn’t come from a surgeon.” Chad waves his hand like he’s dismissing everyone else in the room.

  “But that also means mine are subject to the laws of gravity, unlike most of the girls here,” I joke.

  “And it means I get to watch them bounce when you ride me.” James smiles mischievously.

  “James!” I gasp before giggling wildly.

  Chad laughs and sips his drink while Alejandro grins broadly and reaches for his cocktail.

  “You should have seen the fuckin’ ordeal we had to go through for these dresses, dude,” James says. “It was like finding the goddamn Holy Grail to get this girl a dress. First it was too short, then the next one was too formal. The one after that hugged her ass too much. I was like, ‘Hey, Goldilocks, pick one and let’s go!’”

  “Shut up!” I smack his arm. “It’s my first award show. I’m allowed to be particular!”

  The guys laugh, and James kisses the side of my head.

  “She looks fuckin’ hot in the three that she finally picked, though,” he says. “I’ll be proud to stand next to her in any of them.”

  “Aw!” Chad teases, grabbing his heart.

  “Zip it!” James chuckles, shooting him some side-eye.

  I’ve had two glasses of champagne and I need to use the facilities, so I excuse myself. As I’m making my way back to the table, I see Ethan Dane. His eyes light up when he spots me, and he scans briefly over my shoulder—probably looking for James. He likes to flirt with me in front of James, which I assume is part of the rivalry thing, so I’m kind of glad that James is still with the guys at the bar.

  “Lola, it’s good to see you!” He smiles and gives me a flirtatious hug, his hands flattening on the small of my back.

  “You too, Ethan,” I reply, hugging him back. No harm in a hug when girls here were kissing James on the lips in their friendly greetings.

  “You look beautiful,” he says, stepping back to admire me. This kind of flattery always makes me blush.

  “You’re looking pretty dapper yourself,” I reply, pretending to check him out.

  “Bikram, baby!” He grins flirtatiously. “It does a body good.”

  “Now I’ve got you and Stacey trying to recruit me to the Bikram cult,” I tease.

  “Come to the sweaty side, Lola,” he says in a Darth Vader voice.

  I laugh and shake my head.

  “You guys are still going to be sitting at the SC table tomorrow, right? Even with the whole Rick situation?”

  Rick is the owner of Sin Cinema and the man responsible for locking James into a bullshit contract with Eva Satana, the horrible dominatrix who forced him to participate in her extreme BDSM movies. James and Rick got into a screaming match after Eva was sentenced for a litany of crimes, and James told Rick in no uncertain terms exactly what he could do with his contract. We had a number of industry lawyers who were willing to help out, and James threatened to go public with all the details, which would have destroyed Rick’s reputation, so he agreed to let James buy himself out of the contract for a very reasonable sum. Since then, things between the two have been frosty to say the least, and I know James isn’t particularly looking forward to sharing the table with Rick at the awards tomorrow.

  “Yeah, we’ll be at the Sin Cinema table,” I say. “I think James is just going to try to sit somewhere far from Rick. Hopefully there won’t be a brawl in the middle of the show. I’d have to jump in and kick that son of bitch’s ass myself.”

  Ethan laughs and subtly checks me out again. He’s trying to be discrete about it, but I still notice. I don’t think it’s because he finds me irresistible or anything like that. I think it’s more about the competition of flirting with me because I’m with James.

  “I hope I can sit somewhere near you.” He smiles. “Get to look at something beautiful all night.”

  I can tell that I’ve got a blush going on.

  “He’s lucky,” he says after a short pause. “He’ll be with the most stunning woman in the room.”

  “Laying on the charm pretty thick there, Ethan,” I tease.

  “Just speaking my mind.” He chuckles, obviously caught red-handed.

  I shake my head, and it’s possible that I bat my eyes. Maybe just a little bit. A totally normal response when a cute guy is hitting on you, even if you have absolutely no intention of entertaining his offer.

  “Well, I’ll look forward to seeing you tomorrow, sweetheart,” he says, giving me a little kiss on the cheek. “And good luck to James on the Man of the Year award.”

  “Thanks, Ethan.” I smile. “Good luck to you too.”

  I feel like it’s the polite thing to say, though I know that both Ethan and James are up for the coveted award, so I don’t know if I should be wishing luck to my boyfriend’s competitor.

  “Thank you, gorgeous,” he replies.

  Ethan’s charming, very much like James, and I know that he’ll probably amp up the flirtation tomorrow to try to ruffle James, especially if it’s my man who walks away with that trophy.

  I’m still feeling a little flushed as I make my way back to the bar. It’s almost hilarious to me that I went through years of never having any men interested in me and now I have two porn stars who want to plant their flag on me as part of some sort of power display. Guys and their possessive acts of male dominance. I roll my eyes as the thought crosses my mind.

  My flattered smile fades when I see that my own porn star rival, Tara Morgan, has found her way to my group. I met her several years ago, and I could tell right away that she was carrying a pretty major torch for James. He and I were just friends at the time, but she stared me down like I’d stolen her boyfriend or something. I remember her and her friend referring to me as “the high school girl” and looking down their noses at me the whole day. I found out later that Tara and James had a few off-screen flings after shoots and that he was pretty sure she wanted something more than just sex, but he didn’t want to give it to her.

  She’s got on an incredibly short ice blue mini dress, way too much makeup, and she’s holding what appears to be an appletini in her French-manicured hand. Her other hand rests on James’s arm, and I don’t care for that one bit. She’s laughing and pretending that she’s having the greatest time in the world while she chats with the guys.

  On average, I find that porn stars are very affectionate and their physical boundaries are…let’s just say more lenient than your average person. Typically they think nothing of k
issing each other on the lips or halfway groping each other in public—just like with Kayla earlier tonight. I appreciate warm and affectionate people, so I’m not usually one to complain. Tara Morgan, however, is a different story. Her motivation is decidedly more sinister than the other girls in this room.

  “Hey, Tara,” I say, giving her one of those subtle, warning glances. Bitch, you better get your hands off my man!

  “Hi, Lola.” She grins, spitefully leaning closer to James.

  He shifts a little, loosening her grip on him as Chad and Alejandro look at me like they’re ready for this to break into a Jerry Springer girl fight.

  “How are you doing tonight?” I ask her with chilly politeness.

  “Great! So excited for tomorrow! You’re probably not used to anything like this, huh?” she says with that patronizing cuteness that makes me want to slap her.

  “Nope, never been to a porn award show before.” I shake my head, sticking to the facts in an effort to refrain from saying what I’m currently thinking about her presence, her hand on James’s arm, her tacky stripper dress, and the fact that I can see a little bit of the glue from her extensions toward the back of her head.

  “These things are so fun. We always have a good time, don’t we, sexy?” she adds, running her fingers down James’s chest. “Every year, you and me, we just get wild.”

  “Yeah, it’s always pretty fun,” he replies, subtly inching back a bit more.

  “Tomorrow’s gonna be like ‘Welcome to the Jungle’ for you.” She smirks at me annoyingly. “I hope you’re ready for some craziness.”

  I give her a fake smile and shrug. “I’m sure it’ll be just lovely,” I say, laying on the sarcasm just a bit too thickly to go unnoticed.

  “I’m nervous.” She pretends to bite her nails. “I hope we win for our scene.” She puts her hand on his stomach and gives him a sexy smile. “I want that trophy so everyone can know that I give the best blowjobs.”

  Chad looks at me and nearly snickers when I dramatically roll my eyes.

  “Nobody deep-throats like me, huh? It was so fun to shoot, wasn’t it?” She licks her lips while she bats her eyes at my boyfriend again. That’s right, my boyfriend. Mine!

  “Yeah, you…uh…you have a talent,” he replies. From his body language, I think he’s starting to feel a little awkward about where this conversation is going.

  Chad and Alejandro look very amused as they watch this train wreck unfold. They’ve got two tickets to Mean Girls: The Live Show and they’re on the edge of their seats to see my reaction—which, for now, is calm and collected.

  “We always have the best shoots ever,” she says, giving me a shady, sideways glance before leaning into James and looking up at him. “It was one of those ones where you just throw out the rules and live in the moment, but we always have it like that because I just get so wrapped up in you. I wasn’t even supposed to swallow that day, remember? But I did it anyway because we were just so into it.”

  Fucking bitch!

  “Had,” James corrects her. “You had some hot shoots with me. I’m out of the game now, remember?”

  “That’s right,” she pouts. “You’re leaving us.”

  “Yep. All done.”

  “I wish you didn’t have to stop,” she says, giving me a defiant glance before sliding her hand up his chest. “I don’t know why you can’t still be in movies. Other people’s girlfriends don’t freak out about it.” Oh fuck you, bitch. “We always used to have so much fun on the set and I’ll miss you. Nobody’s big enough to get as deep as you.”

  Tara Morgan, I fucking loathe you!

  “Yeah, whatever,” he says, chuckling. “I’m done with it. I’ve got something better, and it was time to call it quits.”

  I raise an eyebrow at her when she looks in my direction. That’s right! He doesn’t want you. He wants me and he’d give up your award-nominated deep-throating skills to have me.

  “When you find the person you love, you want to be with them and only them,” he adds, making me smile proudly. Nice one, babe!

  “That’s love,” Alejandro chimes in, putting his arm around Chad. “You two are crazy for each other. We’ve said it for years.”

  Chad nods and James smiles proudly. Tara looks less than enthused.

  “It’s true,” James says, looking at me like I’m the only girl in the world. “What can I say? I’ve got the best fuckin’ girlfriend on earth. Couldn’t even imagine being with somebody else. Not ever.”

  I step closer to him and lean up to kiss him. Tara’s still got her hand on his arm, so I subtly brush it off as I intensify the kiss. James’s arms wrap around me, his hands resting on my hips as he keeps kissing me. Not so cocky now, are we, Tara?

  “I love you,” he whispers to me when we part the kiss.

  “I love you too,” I say a little louder, giving him a knowing smile. He’s trying to help me prove a point, and I’m eternally grateful.

  He runs his nose along mine and then kisses my neck a few times before softly stroking my back and giving me a gaze that says he wants to hike me up on the bar and take me right now. While I’m by no means an exhibitionist, I’d tear his clothes off and bang him in front of Tara so she could see that I’m the one who gives him such pleasure, not her.

  “You two horny little lovebirds,” Chad teases.

  “Well,” Tara says in a snippy tone, “I guess I should go try to find Lexi.”

  “Yeah, you probably should,” I say under my breath, but just loud enough for her to catch it.

  She gives me a momentary scowl and then nods at everyone. “I’ll see you all tomorrow. Bye, sexy,” she says, blowing James a kiss.

  I turn back to the group and scoff when she’s out of range. “I swear, I just want to rip those fucking tacky blond tracks out of her hair and slap her!” I sigh with exasperation.

  “The shade of it all!” Chad dramatically puts his hand to his chest like he’s stunned.

  “That skank!” I narrow my eyes. “She touches my man again and I will not hesitate to cut a bitch!”

  “I know that’s right!” Alejandro snickers and raises his glass to me.

  “She’s got nothin’ on you, baby,” James says, kissing the side of my head as he puts his arm around my waist. “She wishes she did, but she doesn’t. You’re on a whole ’nother level, Lo.”

  I lean into him a bit more. I can feel a wave of desire start radiating off of him. Sometimes I think he can transmit it through his pores like an intoxicating pheromone. His eyes get slightly hooded, his smile is wider and more devilish, his fingertips lightly stroke my skin instead of staying still on my hip, and he does this thing where his eyes flick back and forth over my body like he’s picturing me naked.

  “She’s jealous. It’s obvious,” Chad chimes in, and Alejandro nods. “He’s like the George Clooney of the adult industry, and now he’s off the market. Her dreams of being a porn power couple are shattered.”

  “I’d like to shatter more than just her dreams,” I murmur, drawing a surprised laugh from Chad.

  “Feisty!” he teases.

  “I just don’t like some malicious, conniving, trashy chick putting her hands on my man,” I say, trying to sound badass. “And if she does it again, oh, there will be consequences!”

  “You’d fight for me?” James smiles broadly. “You’d knock her out if she came on to me?”

  “You bet your sweet ass I would!” I reply, which gets a bigger laugh from the gang. “I’d go prison style and shank her in the yard.”

  “Fuck! I love you so much!” He sighs.

  “I know you do.” I give him a soft kiss.

  “We need to go back to the room.” He’s got that deliciously mischievous look in his eyes. I can tell that his desire meter is in the red, and he’s only got one thing on his mind at the moment.

  “Like horny teenagers,” Chad not so quietly whispers to Alejandro.

  “Can you blame me?” James motions up and down my body like he’s Vanna W
hite.

  “Well, I’m sure you guys will enjoy the gift bags, then,” Alejandro says slyly.

  “What gift bags?” I inquire.

  “It’s an award show, baby girl,” he replies. “They got swag bags up at the front tonight, and I hear they’re filled with all kinds of goodies.”

  “Like what?” I smile, but suspiciously.

  “You’ll see. I’m sure James will give you a demo.”

  James gives me a wink, and I wonder what I might be in for tonight. Something tells me this will be very different from the celebrity swag bags you hear about at most award shows.

  “Come on,” James says, “let’s see what free stuff we get.”

  “Enjoy!” Chad playfully smirks, raising his glass to me as James takes my hand and walks me toward the door.

  There’s a long row of tables near the entrance that I didn’t see when we came in. On it are loads of large, black bags bearing the AVA logo. There are also a few smaller bags on a side table behind the three girls dressed in all black who are handing out the free gifts.

  “James Langdon!” a pretty brunette behind the table calls as she reaches out to shake his hand. “Congratulations on your big nomination!”

  “Thanks so much!” He proudly beams.

  “Please, take a bag,” she says to both of us.

  I grab a bag, finding it surprisingly heavy.

  “And we have special gifts for all of our nominees.” She steps to the back table to get one of the smaller bags. “Our jewelry sponsor got Rolexes for everyone in the major categories.”

  I raise my eyebrows. Free Rolexes for the sexually gifted.

  “Good luck tomorrow!” She cheerfully smiles and hands him the bling bag.

  I peek into my bag as we head back to the room. Just in my initial glance, I see that Alejandro was right about the unique contents. Something pink and phallic stands out among the other items. It makes sense. These gifts usually come from sponsors, and the AVA sponsors are almost all of the sexual variety. This should be very interesting.