Gaming for Love

by Crystal Perkins

  I know that they aren’t going to stand for some bullshit answer so I give them the truth. “I-I think I may want to be with her. I mean, really be with her. Not just for a one night fuck. But I’m afraid that she is going to use me like Amber did. Or I’m going to fuck up and hurt her. Then, she won’t be there for Alex. So, I thought that if I looked like I was getting it on with someone else, she would stop looking at me like she wanted me to kiss her.”

  “First off, Yasmin is nothing like that psycho bitch Amber. We all hated Amber and I don’t think any of us feel that way about Yasmin.” Ryan looks to my brothers who shake their heads. “She’s really cool and smart and doesn’t put up with your behavior, which is just what you need. Second, I don’t think she is the type of person who would abandon Alex if things go south with you. She may not want to come around if that happens, but we could take Alex to her. And third, you need to have a better opinion of yourself. You may try to give off the asshole vibe, but we know you better. Like Owen said, no one in this family blames you for what happened. It was not your fault. Please believe that, Scott. As lucky as you would be to have Yasmin, she would be lucky to have you, too.”

  “You all hated Amber? You were nice to her when I brought her around.”

  “We were nice to her because we wanted you to be happy. Even Mom couldn’t stand her. We were afraid that she was using you, we just didn’t know how much. We carry guilt for that, for her, too, you know.” Luke and Owen nod at that, too. How could I not have known? And they feel guilty? Wow. Before I can process what he told me, Ryan continues. “Now, are you going to man up and go for it with Yasmin?”

  “Yeah, I think I am.” I tell him, taking a deep breath. “Can I have her phone number, Ry?”

  “Hell yeah,” he tells me taking out his phone.

  “We’ll help you if you need anything,” Owen says.

  “Yeah, you know Owe and I are better with the women than you two old guys,” Luke says with a laugh. I know my brothers would help me and would be there for me no matter what. Maybe it’s time I start realizing that I deserve their love. I’m not quite there yet, but I have hope. That’s something that I thought I lost nine months ago.

  * * *

  Yasmin

  It’s been a busy day at the store. Sundays always seem to be a big book buying day. I need it.

  The website is coming along and Erika keeps telling me to read that article but I haven’t had time. She thinks that maybe I can get a small business loan to buy the software when it is ready. I don’t know if I could get a loan, but if this software is really that good, I could sell my house. It wouldn’t be a great choice, but to save the bookstore I would do it.

  Sam arrives, so I head to my office to grab my purse so I can get something to eat. As I walk in the door, I grab my phone and notice a text had come in a few minutes before.

  Unknown: Hey Yasmin. It’s Scott.

  My breath catches in my throat.

  Unknown: Are you there?

  Me: I’m here now. What do you want?

  He replies almost immediately.

  Unknown: Honestly, I want you. Will you go out with me tonight?

  Is he kidding me? He was just with another girl in front of me yesterday and now he expects me to go out with him?

  Me: What about bikini girl?

  Unknown: Bikini girl?

  I don’t answer him. If he can’t figure it out, that’s his problem. I start to leave the backroom when he texts again. I guess he got it.

  Unknown: OH! She’s a non-issue.

  Me: Really? Because you couldn’t get away from me fast enough to make your way back to her yesterday. You looked pretty busy with her tongue down your throat when I left.

  Unknown: I couldn’t get away from you fast enough because I wanted to kiss you more than I wanted my next breath and that scared the shit out of me.

  Me: I wanted to kiss you too. And it scared me too. But I didn’t run away to be with someone else in front of you.

  Unknown: I shouldn’t have done that. I was hoping that I could make you not want me anymore if I acted like an asshole. I didn’t want to be with her. I wasn’t with her after you left. I only want you.

  Me: You have a really funny way of showing it.

  I swallow and finish typing, deciding to just lay it out there. What do I have to lose at this point?

  It hurt. Seeing you with her really hurt me. After the barbeque Friday night, I thought that you liked me. I didn’t know if you would be at the party, but I was hoping that you would be. I wanted to see you again.

  Unknown: I DO like you, Yasmin. I am SO sorry that I hurt you. I can’t promise to never hurt you again. But, I’ll try my best not to. Please go out with me.

  Me: I want to but I can’t. I don’t trust you. I saw the girls you were with at the party. I can’t compete with them. You may think you want me, but I’m just something new and different for you. You’ll realize it and then walk away for something better. Someone thinner. I’m sorry, but no.

  Unknown: You can’t compete with them? Are you kidding me? They are nothing next to you. You were the hottest girl at that party. Every guy there wanted to be with you. I don’t need someone “thinner.” I mean WTF ,Yasmin.? You have to know how perfect your body is. How can I prove that? I’ll do anything. Well, almost anything. As long as it’s legal :)

  Me: Thanks for the compliments but I don’t know what you can do. I have always wanted to be wooed, though. Maybe you could do that? If you want…

  Unknown: Wooed?

  Me: Yeah, you know, romance me. Make me feel special.

  Unknown: Umm, you ARE special but no one has ever called me romantic. I am not sure how to do that. You mean flowers and shit?

  Me: It could be flowers or it could be whatever you want. It would just show me that you really are interested and that I am worth putting in a little bit of effort for. If you don’t want to, that’s fine.

  Unknown: You ARE worth it and I definitely want to show you that. I’ll think of something :) Can I keep texting you while I attempt this romance thing?

  Me: Yes, yes you can. I would like that.

  Unknown: I’d like that too. I better go now so I can try to plan this out. Talk to you soon.

  Me: I can’t wait to see what you come up with :)

  I close my eyes and resist the urge to jump up and down. Maybe I wasn’t wrong about him Friday night. I walk next door for lunch with a smile on my face.

  Chapter 5

  Yasmin

  Scott’s texted me several times a day since he first started three days ago. Mostly just asking how I am doing or what I am watching on TV at night. Oh, and if I am reading anything sexy that I want to tell him about. I keep saying no to that. I’m not ready to share that with him, although every time he asks, a shiver runs through my body. It’s become comfortable and fun, but there has been no formal wooing yet. Although the multiple texts a day do make me feel special, I can’t help thinking that he has given up. It makes me a little sad, but at least we’re friends now, I guess.

  Scott’s texts have also been taking my mind off the problems with my store. I’m still keeping a steady stream of customers, just not enough to make up for the slow periods we’ve been through. Sean is almost done with the website and my friends Sarah and Lisa from Girls with Books have promised to promote the new website on their blog and Facebook page. Sam has set up a Facebook page for the store and she is posting when new books arrive and about local author events. I really need to book a major author event but my store doesn’t have that kind of clout anymore. My parents used to have major authors and celebrities in monthly but that dried up a few years ago when one of the local Barnes and Noble stores became an event store. I know we aren’t a huge volume place, but our customers would support an event. I just have to figure out how to get one!

  I’m hanging out in the front of the store with Erika when Alex and Gary come in. I introduce everyone. Alex needs new books and Gary wants to pick up a new footbal
l book. I point Gary to his book and head over to YA with Alex.

  “How are you doing, sweetie?” I ask her, noticing that she looks tired.

  “I’m fine …no, I’m really not,” she tells me, sitting in one of the chairs. “My mom’s birthday is in a few weeks and I’m not sure if I can handle it.”

  “Honestly, my parent’s birthdays aren’t hard for me because I still celebrate those days for them. I invite my friends over and we eat their favorite foods. Now, the day that they died is different. I can’t really function on that day. But I choose to celebrate their lives on their birthdays,” I explain to her, stroking her hair.

  “Wow, I never thought of it that way. I can do that, I can celebrate them. I don’t have any friends except for you, though. Would you come over and be with me and my family?”

  “Of course I will! When is it?”

  “June 30,” she tells me, looking excited now.

  I take out my phone and enter it into my calendar. “Done. I’ll be there. Anything else I can help you with?”

  “Actually, there is. I’m so bored at home. Could I help you here?”

  “Oh Alex, I would love to have you help me. But I can’t afford to take on any more employees right now. I’m sorry.”

  “You don’t have to pay me. Could I just volunteer? Maybe help with story time or shelve books?”

  “I would love to have you volunteer! Are you sure it’s okay with your grandparents?”

  “Is what okay with her grandparents?” Gary asks from behind me.

  “Alex was asking if she could volunteer here to get out of the house,” I explain.

  “That’s a fabulous idea! Just coordinate the days and times and we’ll make sure she’s here. You always manage to bring a smile to our girl’s face and I would love to see that more often.”

  I’m about to tell him that she makes me smile too when I spot Hank from Office Depot entering the store. I excuse myself and meet him by the cash wrap. “I didn’t order anything this week Hank.”

  “This is a special delivery for you today,” he says with a smile motioning to the box he has placed on the counter.

  “A special delivery” I ask in confusion. “What is it?”

  He opens the box with a flourish while he says, “One of every type of pen in our store!”

  I look inside the box in shock seeing everything from the expensive ones I have salivated over to the cheap ones that I have passed up. And oh holy hell, there is every color of Sharpie and Sharpie pen imaginable in there. This box is a thing of beauty.

  As I am still standing there with my mouth open, Hank tells me, “This goes along with the box.” He hands me an envelope.

  Yasmin is written on it. My heart starts beating and I know who it is from before I open it.

  My Dearest Yasmin,

  I am hoping that this letter finds you well.

  OK, that is all the fancy shit I can write. I know you want to be wooed but you said that I can do it my way so here goes.

  I didn’t want to get you flowers yet because I can’t decide what kind I want to get you and I don’t know what you like. The same with chocolates. I don’t know what you like there, either. But, I DO know that you like pens, all pens, you said. So, here are lots and lots of pens. I hope you put them to good use and don’t just keep them in the box looking pretty. Can pens look pretty? Fuck if I know. But I guess they may be pretty to you. I do know you’re gorgeous to me and I hope this gift makes you feel special. Text me when you get this—if you want…

  Scott

  Oh my God! I am being wooed, really wooed and he started with pens! PENS! I could probably die happy from this right now. Okay, not really, because he hasn’t even kissed me yet, but I feel like I could burst with happiness. I am definitely going to text him, but first I have a letter to write.

  “Can you guys take a letter to Scott for me? It should only take me a few minutes to write it,” I ask when I walk back to Alex and Gary.

  “Sure,” Gary says to me with amusement in his eyes.

  “Was that box from Uncle Scott? It looked like it was from Office Depot,” Alex asks me with confusion on her face.

  “It is from him and it is also from Office Depot. He bought me pens, lots of pens. Let me grab one and I’ll get that letter written!” I smile at her as I turn to go grab a pen. But, which one?

  “Are you and Uncle Scott going out?” Alex asks me as I search through the box.

  “No, we aren’t. We’re just friends right now.” I grab a green Sharpie from the box and turn to her. “If we did decide to date, though, would that be alright with you?”

  “That would be awesome!” she replies. I look up at Gary, who smiles back at me.

  “I think it would be awesome, too,” he tells me.

  “Great. I just wanted to make sure. I mean, I don’t know if we will, but I wanted to make sure it was okay and not weird and now I’m rambling.” I can feel myself turning red.

  “Why don’t you go write your letter while we pick out our books, Yasmin?” Gary says, kindly. I take the Sharpie back to my office and do just that.

  * * *

  Scott

  I got a one word text from Yasmin. “Thanks.” That’s it, just thanks. I thought the pens would make her happy. And the letter, I thought that was good. I thought I was on the right track. What the hell am I going to do now? I must really suck to just get that one word.

  Shit! I need to finish this software but I want to win this woman over. I may have to postpone this wooing thing until the software is finished and I can focus solely on her, but I don’t want to wait that long. It could be two months or more. No, not more. I will get this done in my two month time frame. I have to. But, I also have to have Yasmin. I drop my head in my hands as it all overwhelms me.

  “Hey son, I rang the doorbell but I don’t think you could hear me over this music,” my dad says as he enters my lair. “Are you okay? Is this project too much for you? We can push it back. Lord knows we don’t need the money.”

  “No Dad. I can do it. I promised you and Mom. I won’t let you down. Again.” I can’t look him in the eye as I say this.

  “You have never let us down! How many times can I tell you that what happened to your sister was not your fault? The only thing I need from you is for you to forgive yourself. I love you, son.”

  I look up to see his eyes glistening. Mine are wet too. I know he means it. My mom said it. My brothers said it. And now my dad said it too. I don’t think that they would all lie to me, so maybe I need to believe it myself. “I love you too, Dad.”

  “Now, let’s see if I can put a smile on your face,” he says, handing me an envelope.

  Scott

  That one word makes me stop breathing for a moment and fills me with hope.

  “Enjoy your letter. I’ll let myself out,” my dad says and I barely register him leaving as I open the envelope.

  Wonderful, sexy Scott,

  I LOVE my pens SOOO much! I can’t believe you did this for me. I feel special and properly wooed. I can’t imagine that you would be able to top the pens, but I wanted to help you with some of your questions. So, here are some things that I like:

  Milk chocolate and caramel

  Cupcakes - chocolate with white frosting, red velvet and lemon are favorites, but I’ll try almost any kind. Except bacon. Bacon and pastries just seems too weird.

  Blue, purple and white colored flowers. Tulips are my favorite. I like flowers that have a meaning to them, although roses are good too!

  Blue and purple used to be my favorite colors but green, especially the almost emerald colored green of a certain someone’s eyes, is becoming my favorite color now.

  Handwritten letters. I never before realized how special getting a handwritten letter can make a person feel. So, thanks for that.

  Oh, and you, I like you.

  Yasmin

  Holy shit! I didn’t suck. She liked it and she likes me! Yes, oh fuck, yes! I haven’t felt this good in, w
ell in forever. Even before the murders, before I knew what Amber was and what she did, I never felt this happy. And it’s all because of a sexy, pen loving bookworm. Who would’ve thought? I grab my phone and text her.

  Me: Hey beautiful. Are you busy?

  Yasmin: No. It’s slow right now in the store. Did you get my letter?

  Me: I did. I loved it. You’re right about a handwritten letter making you feel special. I feel special now. I can’t remember the last time I felt that way.

  Yasmin: I ‘m glad that I could be the one to do that for you, to make you feel that way.

  Me: Me too. So, you like my eyes, huh? Do you think about them often?

  I can’t stop myself from teasing her. And I really want to know the answer.

  Yasmin: Oh God, I knew I shouldn’t have told you.

  Me: But you did and you didn’t answer my question.

  Yasmin: Yes, I think about your eyes. Are you happy now?

  Me: What do you do when you think about them? Do you get yourself off?

  Please say yes, I think to myself. I want to know that she gets off to thoughts of me like I do to thoughts of her.

  Yasmin: I am turning off my phone now. Goodbye.

  Fucking A! What is wrong with me? Asking her if she gets herself off by thinking of my eyes. Who says that to a girl before even taking her out for a date? I know I’m not experienced at all with this wooing thing, but I thought I had some common sense. But, no. I am such a dumbass, letting my throbbing cock think for me. How am I going to fix this one? Well, I can start by looking up flowers and what they mean. Particularly purple, blue and white ones. Dammit. I hope it’s enough.

  Chapter 6

  Yasmin

  I still can’t believe the text conversation with Scott yesterday. I thought we were on the same page and then he has to get crude with me. Yes, I do get myself off when I think of his eyes. And lips. And hot body. But I wouldn’t tell him that in a text. What if someone saw it on my phone? Or his. God, I would die of embarrassment if Maggie or Gary saw that. Maybe I was expecting too much and he’s really just trying to get me into his bed for a night.