Gaming for Love

by Crystal Perkins

  She looks so worried. I scratch my neck and admit, “He didn’t steal it, Yas. I gave it to him to put on your website. I would have liked him to install it on your store system but you would have noticed it right away. I wanted to help you, but I wasn’t sure if you would take help from me. I’m sorry that we deceived you. It’s my fault for convincing Sean so please be mad at me and not him.”

  Now, she looks torn. “I should be mad at you. At both of you. But, the internet sales have been really good and helped me a lot. Thank you for doing this for me.” She looks at Sean. “Can you please put it on the store system when you get a chance?”

  “Yeah, I can stop by later and upload it.” He hugs her goodbye and I see him whisper something in her ear. She gives him a resigned smile.

  “I’m sorry that I just barged in here. I should go and let you guys get back to work. It was nice to see you, Scott.” She leans up and kisses me on the cheek. “Thanks for helping me out.”

  “Let me walk you out to your car. Wait, I heard that you didn’t have a car. How did you get here?”

  “I borrowed Sam’s car. You don’t need to walk me out.”

  “I want to. Is that okay?” She nods and we walk out into the backyard.

  I put my hands in the pockets of my jeans and wait to see if she will break the awkward silence. I haven’t been doing too good a job of talking to her today without it all coming out wrong so I would rather have her start the conversation. We’re almost to her car before she finally says something. “How are you doing? Alex said that you are going to see a therapist. Is it helping you at all?” She looks at the ground when she asks instead of looking at me. I want her to look at me so I reach out and pull her chin up.

  “It’s going really well. I’ve been going in 3 times a week to talk to Mike. I’m comfortable with him and I don’t feel like I’m in a doctor’s office. I feel like I’m talking to a friend, just one who can be impartial and talk things out with me. We do a lot of talking and I am starting to realize that I might be lovable.” She starts to protest but I put my hand over her mouth. “I always knew that my family loved me, but I’m talking about romantic love. Not just with Amber, but even in high school when no one wanted to be friends with me, much less date me. And later in college, when girls were perfectly fine with just hooking up with me and not having any kind of relationship. I mean, yeah, it was fun, but I never stopped to think about how what I was doing, what I was settling for, was feeding my insecurities.”

  She moves my hand from her mouth. “What about me? Do you believe that I loved you?”

  “Yes, I do.” But, my heart has just plummeted. She said “loved” not “love.” “It is one of the first things that Mike and I talked about. How I let my insecurities ruin what we had. We talk about you every session. I know I fucked up and having him point things out to me has been really hard. But I need it. I need someone to call me on my shit. My family just sided with me because that’s what families do, but I needed to be told that I was wrong. Mike doesn’t tell me that, but hearing him repeat what I tell him, makes me realize it. I’m not completely better. That is going to take a long time, but I have started to realize my self-worth. It feels really good.”

  “I’m really happy for you, Scott. You are a wonderful man and I am so glad that you are realizing that.” She smiles up at me. “I want to thank you for the wooing. I loved the cupcakes, candy, flowers and of course the pens. You don’t need to keep sending me stuff, though.”

  Does she know that she’s killing me? That I’m slowly dying inside. First, she used the past tense when she talked about loving me and now she’s telling me to stop sending her things. It’s over. I didn’t do enough to convince her. I didn’t get better fast enough. I am starting to panic and she must see it because she grabs my shoulders.

  “Scott, what’s wrong? Tell me. What happened?” Yas is looking panicked now, too.

  I take a few breaths to calm myself down and then I do what Mike says that I need to when I am in a hard situation. I tell her the truth. “You told me that you would give me a chance when I’m ready.” She nods, still looking confused. “I thought that there was a chance for us to be together again but you just said that you loved me, past tense, and then asked me to stop sending you things. It’s just hard to hear that it’s really over. I don’t want it to be over.” I hang my head and fight the tears gathering in my eyes. That’s all I need. For her to see me crying over her.

  “Look at me, Scott.” I shake my head and she lets out a frustrated sigh. “Dammit Scott, do you want me to beg? Look at me please, Pretty Boy.” It’s her use of my nickname that has me raising my eyes to meet hers. “I used the word loved because I need to know that you know that for the time we were together, I loved you. I want to make sure that you know that my love for you was real. That doesn’t mean that I’m not in love with you now. I am. I can’t imagine that I will ever not be in love with you. Even if we’re not together, my heart will always be yours. And as for sending me things, I just meant that you should concentrate on getting better and working on your new project instead of finding things to send me.”

  “You’re still in love with me?”

  “Yes, Scott, I am. That doesn’t mean that I’m just going to fall into your arms and forget how you hurt me. Or that I’m going to put up with you treating me like shit again. You nearly destroyed me. But, it does mean that I forgive you and I am hoping that we can be together again. I don’t want it to be over either.”

  “I’m almost ready to ask you to give me that chance. Like I said, I am going to have to keep seeing Mike for a long time, I think. But, I am better. And, I love finding things to send you. It makes me happy to know that you like what I send.”

  “I’m here waiting for you. I probably shouldn’t admit that, but it’s true. When you’re ready to come for me, I will be ready to listen. Your presents do make me happy. Now, I better get going. I’ll talk to you soon.” She hugs me and then gets into her car.

  Chapter 26

  Yas

  It has been a couple of days since I went to Scott’s house. Things are still going great with the store. In fact, business is kind of booming. Between Owen’s fans, Luke’s girls and Scott’s program, we are looking to turn a profit this month. I got a call today from two publishers asking me to host signings for their authors. These are some of the biggest authors out there now and although I’m happy, I am starting to feel like things are too good to be true. Like there is something going on that I don’t know about.

  “You should just be happy that things are going well,” Sam tells me.

  “I am happy but it just seems weird that this all just fell in my lap. I mean, I just sold my house for an amount of money that makes me a millionaire, publishers are calling me to set up big signings when they wouldn’t even give me little ones a few weeks ago and now I heard that the landlords sold to a new company and everyone’s rent is going down. It is all a little much.”

  “It’s more like karma, Yasmin. You are such a good person and you deserve all of this.”

  “Maybe I deserve it but I don’t know how I started getting it,” I tell her and then I find out. The mailman brings me a letter from Griffin Commercial & Technology telling me that they are the new owners and that my rent will be lowered to a ridiculously small amount. I know when I see it that the family is behind what has been going on. I want to be mad, but I’m not. They once thought of me as part of their family and families help each other. I know Owen is loving the mural and Luke is loving those girls he brings in, but I realize that they were helping me more than I realized, too.

  I think about Alex. How she was here every night and whoever picked her up would give me a ride. Now that I’m doing better financially, I have been scheduling someone with me until close and Alex has gone back to two days a week. One of my friends has been driving me home. I wonder who bought my house. No, actually I don’t. I know in my heart that it was Scott. I don’t know how or when I am going to let
them know that I am aware of what they have done. I want to call them all right now, but that doesn’t seem right. I will think of something.

  I tell Sam what I’ve figured out and she looks guilty. “Wait a minute. You knew, didn’t you?”

  “Yeah, I did. I’m sorry Yasmin. Erika and Sean were there when Scott told everyone about his plan and how they fit into it. We just wanted to help you and we weren’t sure you would take the help if we offered.”

  “I probably wouldn’t have. I know that I am too proud sometimes. I’m not mad, though. I needed the help and it is nice to have people care enough to do things for me.”

  “We all love you.”

  “I love you guys too. Now, tell me more about all of this being Scott’s plan.”

  She tells me about everything. I can’t believe Scott organized all of that for me, even before he started getting help from Mike. It makes me think that he already believed in me and our love. Maybe he just didn’t know how to deal with it yet. I want to call him up and talk to him about it, but I don’t know if I should. He told me that he would come to me when he was ready to try again and I feel like I should wait for him.

  Sam is giving me a ride tonight, but tomorrow I’m going to pick up my new SUV. I can’t wait to have my own car again. We set the alarm and walk out of the store. I can’t believe the sight before me. Scott is in the parking lot, leaning against his car like Logan in the Veronica Mars movie. My friends and I saw that movie and we swooned together at that part. I think that I am swooning right now too.

  He’s wearing a black short sleeved button down shirt untucked over his jeans. His combat boots are on his feet and his glasses are on his face. I nearly melt just looking at him. He smiles when he sees me and I sway a little. It should be illegal to look that good.

  I barely register Sam saying goodbye to me as I walk to him. “Hi, Pretty Boy.”

  “Hi, Yas. Can I give you a ride home?”

  “Well since my ride just left me, I think you have to.”

  He smirks and says, “I always liked Sam.”

  He opens the passenger door for me and I get in. We’re both quiet on the way to my—I guess his—house. We pull into the driveway and he gets out to open my door and walk me to the porch. We step onto it and he takes my hands in his and finally speaks. “Will you go on a date with me tomorrow, Yas?”

  “Yes, I will.”

  “Wow. That was easier than I thought. I was prepared to work for it.”

  “I never intended to make this hard for you. I just wanted to know that you were serious about us, that you wouldn’t just walk away from me again.”

  “I have a lot of work still ahead of me, as far as my therapy. But one thing I know for sure is that once I get you back, I am never letting you go again.”

  “You seem confident that you’ll win me back. It’s good to see you being confident about that.”

  “Well, you did agree to go out with me, so I think that I have a shot.”

  “You might,” I tease, squeezing his hands.

  “I know this may be a long shot, but is there any way that I can kiss you right now?” When I hesitate, he adds, “Just kissing, I promise. My hands won’t leave yours.”

  I pull on his hands to bring him closer and then lift my head towards his. He immediately lowers his head and touches his lips to mine. He continues to give me little kisses until I can’t take it anymore. I slant my mouth and suck his piercing between my teeth. He moans and then opens his mouth to deepen our kiss. Our tongues are playing with each other and I feel myself getting lost in him. I pull away and his mouth follows me so I give him another peck and then step back.

  “Goodnight, Scott. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I make myself let go of his hands and walk into the house. I know that if I don’t, I will invite him inside and I can’t do that tonight. Maybe tomorrow, but not tonight. I’ve just reached the bedroom when a text comes through.

  Scott: I was thinking that we could go to the Maestro’s restaurant at Crystals. I know that you said that you always wanted to eat in that treehouse of theirs.

  Me: That sounds great. Good night, Pretty Boy.

  Scott: I’ll pick you up at 6. Sweet dreams, Yas.

  I will have sweet dreams, because they’ll all be about him. And that kiss we just had. And what he managed to plan for me. Oh, and what I plan to do with him tomorrow night.

  * * *

  Scott

  I’ve been going crazy all day waiting for my date with Yas tonight. I was also driving Sean crazy so he sent me upstairs to get ready, saying that he could finish deciphering my notes on his own. I was actually glad to have extra time to get ready. I want to make sure I look good. I’m definitely wearing a suit. But which one and what color shirt? Shit, I’m acting like a girl. But tonight is important. I’m going to ask Yas to be with me again. I don’t think that it will take much convincing if the way she kissed me last night is any indication, but I am prepared to do whatever I need to in order to win her back. I finally decide on a dark gray suit with a teal shirt the same color as the bra and panties she was wearing the first time we slept together. The thought of that night has me instantly hard and I have to think about wrinkly senior citizens to get myself back under control as I head out to my car.

  When I get to Yas’ house, I ring the doorbell and wait for her to answer it. Yes, this is technically my house, but she doesn’t know that yet. I can’t just walk in. She answers the door and I nearly fall to my knees.

  “Sweet mother of God, Yas. Are you trying to kill me with that dress?” It’s black and only one of her shoulders is covered. The dress hugs her tightly across the chest and stomach and then falls into a chiffon shirt that goes past her knees. She is wearing fuck me heels and a few pieces of the museum jewelry. Her hair is in soft waves.

  “I could say the same about you.” I look into her eyes and see the hunger there. I need to rein this in for both of us because I want to take her out and talk to her. I really do. And then I want to bring her back here and make love to her until neither one of us can walk.

  I mentally shake myself and grab her hand. “Come on, we better go while we still can.”

  The restaurant is really good and sitting in the treehouse is pretty cool. I can tell that Yas likes it too. We haven’t talked much yet, but after the waiter brings out our warm butter cake to share, I know that it’s time for me to tell her how I feel.

  I take her hand. “Yas, I want you to know that I love you. You mean more to me than anyone ever has. I know that I hurt you and that I was…am…pretty fucked up. You know that I have been working on getting better and I think that I have. Obviously I am far from done, but I have come to realize some things. I know that I am a pretty good guy who cares about the people he loves and does what he can to help others. I also know that being smart and nerdy is not bad. I can be loved by someone just as I am. I deserve that kind of love. The love that you give me. I can’t promise to never be scared, but I am confident that I can stay calm and listen to what you have to say before lashing out again. You are my everything and I don’t want to be without you in my life.”

  She reaches out and places her hands over mine on the table. “I love you too, Scott. I was hurt by you, but I’ve already told you that I forgive you. I also understand why it was so hard for you to believe in me. I really needed you to believe in me and I can honestly say that I think you do now. I love the smart and nerdy side of you. It’s pretty fucking sexy. You are my everything, too, and I don’t want to be without you, either.”

  “Thank you for not making me grovel. I would have gotten down on my knees in front of this entire restaurant if I had to.”

  “We promised each other that we would never have to beg. I don’t need you to. What I do need you to do is pay for our dinner so you can take me home and make love to me. It’s been too long.”

  I throw some money on the table and practically run to the valet parking, pulling Yas along with me. We get in the car and I force myself to dri
ve the speed limit. We’re holding hands while I drive, just like we used to. I’m so hard that it physically hurts and I’m glad that I won’t be taking care of it myself again, like I’ve been doing for the past 5 weeks. I want to be inside Yas. I need to be inside Yas. The way she is squeezing my hand and squirming in her seat, I know that she wants that too.

  We get to the house and I park, get out and open her door as fast as humanly possible. She jumps out and immediately reaches up to kiss me, sucking on my tongue. She slides her leg up to my hip, grinding against me. It takes an amount of willpower that I didn’t know I had to not take her right here up against the car. I reach my hands under her ass and lift her up. She wraps her legs around my waist and I start walking to the front door. She moves her mouth to my neck so that I can see as I walk. She is kissing and sucking and oh shit, biting me and I almost lose control. But, I don’t want to give her neighbors a show and even though the house is set back from the street, I won’t take that chance. I take out my keys and get the door open. I start to walk to the bedroom but she stops me.

  * * *

  Yas

  “Take me here, Scott. I’ve always wanted to have you take me against a wall.”

  “You never told me, baby. I would have done that for you anytime. How do you want it?”

  “I want to have my legs wrapped around you while you slam me into the wall. Then, when I come, I want you to flip me around and take me from behind. The way you like it. And call me baby again. I love hearing you say that and it’s been too long.”

  He walks me to the wall next to the fireplace. “I like it any way with you, baby.” He leans me against the wall and I work on his belt buckle and zipper. Then, I push his pants and briefs down while he sucks on my neck. He’s going to mark me with how hard as he’s sucking and I want it. I want to have his mark on me. He stops long enough to help me get his pants, briefs and suit jacket off. “Now, it’s my turn.” He reaches under my dress and stills when he realizes that there is nothing to remove. “Fuck, baby, you’ve been bare under that dress all night? So, you knew that you were going to let me come back here and make love to you?”