Surviving the Fall

by Brittney Sahin

  He thrusted slowly at first, building up with a gradual intensity that had them both breathing hard as she moved with him. She reached up for his biceps, her fingers grazing his muscles as she resisted the urge to climax again.

  She wanted this to last longer—forever, even . . . but suddenly everything felt too bloody good to fight. She opened her eyes as she recovered from another round of sensations that had felt almost blissfully painful, and she could see that Jake was struggling to hold on.

  She watched his throat as he swallowed, and then his head fell forward as he came, his body gently thrusting before he collapsed off to the side of her. He shifted his head on the pillow to look at her, his nose brushing against hers.

  “Are you okay? Your back—are you in pain?”

  His eyelids fluttered shut briefly. “What pain?” His husky voice was raw.

  “Funny.” Her fingers skimmed over his knuckles as his hand splayed on her stomach, and she wondered how it was possible to be so comfortable with him, despite everything.

  It felt so . . . natural.

  And she wasn’t used to natural. Not in her line of work.

  “You should rest. It’s been a crazy last few days, and it might get even more intense tomorrow.”

  Jake nodded. “You, too.” He pulled his hand back and sat up, carefully rolling the condom off. He stood from the bed and started for the bathroom. His bare ass was an unbelievable distraction. Firm and muscled.

  But when her gaze lifted, his scars reminded her of the bastards who had ripped his flesh with a whip. His markings—a God awful memento that he’d survived something horrible. Even worse, she knew it was eating at him, that he’d survived when his team hadn’t. Once his memories came back, the guilt would be even worse.

  A few moments later, Jake returned, his eyes sharp on her, the line of his shoulders relaxed. “You’re amazing,” he said as he slid into the bed. She was tucked under the covers, luxuriating in the softness on her bare skin. She didn’t have the energy to dress, and she relished the idea of pressing her naked body against his as they slept. But then it dawned on her that he might want to sleep alone.

  Instead, Jake nudged Alexa to her side, pulling her back tightly against his firm chest. She could feel him hardening against her again, and his thick arousal pressing into her made her legs tighten with a need she didn’t recognize.

  “Goodnight, Alexa,” he said into her ear as an arm draped over her side, resting on her hipbone. Some wild part of her wanted his hand to slide down to her center and make her come for a third time. But she squashed the urge and sucked in a breath, knowing that he needed to rest after the hell he’d been through.

  But maybe in the morning, before they had to meet Xander and Randall . . .

  Sleep pulled at the corner of her mind, and she fell into fantasy.

  Chapter Nineteen

  “That was Xander. He’ll be heading over in an hour.” Alexa rolled back to her side and faced Jake.

  He was on his stomach, his hands resting on the pillow above his head. He must have been so sick of sleeping on his stomach. She had heard him groaning in his sleep, and she wasn’t sure if it was from the pain of his injuries or his memories.

  Jake moved his arm down, offering a better view of his eyes, which were focused on her breasts. A smile was tucked firmly on his face. He shifted all the way to his side, and his fingers danced up her stomach before pinching her nipple.

  “If we’re about to start working, I don’t think it’s a good idea to be lying in bed together naked.” Even though she wished they could stay in bed all day.

  His hand wandered back down her body before reaching between her legs. God, she was already so wet from the thought of having Jake inside her again. But then she thought of Jason, and she stiffened, every muscle in her body growing tense.

  “What’s wrong?” Jake retracted his arm and propped his head up, studying her with guarded eyes.

  “I don’t want to see Jason. This case is hard enough, but working with him is a bloody nightmare.” She gulped, pushing the emotion down her throat as she sat upright. She tugged the covers to her chest, feeling her desire subdued by a gritty shield of anger.

  “How long ago were you together?”

  “Oh, not for ages. We were dating when I got recruited to MI6. I wasn’t allowed to tell him who I really was.”

  “But isn’t he MI6, too? I mean, he’s working with you guys, right?”

  “It’s complicated. But when I started with the agency, he was definitely not MI6.”

  “Oh.” Jake sat up next to her and propped a pillow between his back and the headboard. “Do you want to, uh, talk about him?”

  She wasn’t sure if he was simply being nice. “I think it’s best if we don’t talk about him.”

  “But you’re upset about seeing him, so—”

  “He absolutely gutted me, Jake,” she said quickly, wishing she’d thought before she spoke.

  Jake looked away from her and down at his hands, which were clasped over his core. His rippling stomach muscles moved up and down ever so slightly as he breathed. “You loved him, then?”

  “I thought I did, but he’s an ace at deception, and he’s one of the most brilliant bleeding hackers in the world, which is why we have to work with his sorry arse.” Anger wrapped itself around her spine, her blood chilling as she came to grips with the fact that she was actually going to have to play nice with the bastard. “I think I need a cool shower to calm myself down. I’m seething just thinking about him, and I—”

  Jake’s lips crushed against hers, distracting her from her thoughts. He cupped the back of her head and pulled her even closer to him until she became almost lightheaded from the kiss.

  “What was that for?” she asked, breathlessly, when he released her.

  “A distraction.”

  “Oh really?”

  “You kissed me in the office in Montana, trying to help me. So, I thought I’d give it a shot.”

  A surprising smile found her lips. “It worked.” She rolled her tongue over her teeth. She’d forgotten almost everything, in fact. “Do it again,” she whispered, her eyes locking on his.

  This time, his tongue roamed inside her mouth, deepening the kiss. Her body pulsed with desire. They still had an hour, and they were both already naked . . .

  She briefly considered asking him to shower with her, but she worried about his back. Instead, she broke their kiss and climbed on top of him, straddling him. “Does this hurt?” she asked softly, wondering if he’d even tell her if it did.

  “Not at all.” His hard cock throbbed against her warm center, and she began moving against him, grinding into him as their lips met again. She ran her short fingernails across his hard chest.

  “You’d better let me strap something on,” he said a minute later.

  “Oh.” She had been so caught up in the moment she’d almost forgotten, which was so not like her at all.

  He softly bit her lip, and then winked at her. “Not that I wouldn’t love to feel you without a rubber between us.”

  She laughed as she reached for the condoms from the side dresser and handed one to him. She started to move off him, realizing that there was no way she could be on top without jarring his back, but he dropped the condom to grab hold of her behind, yanking her back over him. “You’re not going anywhere,” he said as their eyes connected.

  “You promise?” The words tumbled from her mouth before she could catch them. There was so much meaning compressed within those two words, but she hoped Jake wouldn’t read into them. Not now, at least.

  But as he studied her, his brown eyes intensely focused on her hazel ones, she understood that the Jake who had tried to win her over a year ago was back again.

  “This is crazy.”

  “I was thinking the same thing,” she replied. Honesty. From me?

  “How come even though my brain is shit and we only hung out for a week a year ago, I still feel like I’ve known you my entire lif
e?” His hand swooped up to her face, and he brushed his knuckles against her cheek. Her lips instinctively parted.

  She thought about how to answer, but she had no idea what to say. She was equally dumbfounded by the intense reaction she was having to this man.

  Her hands pressed against his chest as she leaned back a little, still nervous that she was hurting him. “Maybe after we take these pricks down, we can try and answer that question.” She shrugged and her mouth tightened.

  His large hand skimmed to her neck and threaded through her dark hair.

  “You’re different, aren’t you?” From other men . . . She’d known it a year ago, but she had been scared to admit it.

  “What really happened between us, Alexa?”

  She didn’t want to ruin the moment.

  “I shouldn’t have let you go, is all.” She was about to kiss him, but her mobile vibrated against the nightstand.

  “Don’t,” he said, touching her arm as she started for it.

  “What if it’s important?”

  He released a breath and nodded.

  She scooted off and his fingers spread over her back like the sun’s rays on a gorgeous day. The sensation was warm, relaxing, delicious. She wanted nothing more than to toss her phone and get back into bed with him, but she was an agent and never one to put anything before the job. As much as she wanted to put this man first, there were other lives at stake.

  “We need to move up the timetable. Coming to you now.” Xander’s voice had been rushed.

  “Everything okay?”

  “Reza just left his room.”

  “Okay,” she mumbled.

  “Be there in five.” Xander ended the call.

  Alexa tossed her mobile on the bed. “Xander’s on his way.”

  Jake grumbled a little but got out of bed. “I’d better get dressed.” He looked over his shoulder at her for a brief moment as he clutched his clothes from the night before, and then he quietly left the room.

  She sank onto the bed for a minute, hanging her head and pressing her hands to her face, trying to come to terms with the fact that she was about to face Jason for the first time in years.

  Would she be able to check her impulse to slug him?

  She’d have to do her best because right now @Anarchy was the enemy. Well, it was the current threat. Jason would always be her enemy.

  Jake hated this.

  The fact that he’d made love to Alexa before and couldn’t remember was driving him completely crazy.

  What had he been expecting—in the midst of an incredible orgasm that lightning would strike him and his memories would rain over him?

  Although the sex had been beyond great—his past was still trapped beneath a damn steel coating. Only glimpses of horrid moments had leaked through the crevices.

  He tossed his hands up, rushing them through his dyed hair and glanced at her bedroom door as he heard a knock.

  He checked the peephole before opening it.

  Xander came in and quickly shut the door behind him. “We’re set up in my room, but I wanted to talk to you guys briefly before you meet up with everyone.”

  Jake wondered if Xander had wanted to come to their room first to make sure Alexa was okay to face this Jason character.

  “Where’s Alexa?” Xander narrowed his gray eyes at Jake, a curious look spreading across his face as if he could smell sex in the air.

  “She’s coming.” Jake smoothed a hand down the front of his shirt and eyed Xander. They were the same height, or close enough, and Xander was fit. He had that whole James Bond look, while Jake still preferred a pair of worn jeans and a wide-brimmed hat.

  They both turned at the sound of Alexa’s door. Jake brought a fist to his mouth and cleared his throat, wishing that all the tension in the room could be cleared so easily.

  Alexa strode cautiously toward them in jeans and a soft red sweater that brought out the rich color of her eyes. Her skin was still glowing, and he relished in the fact that he’d at least been responsible for one good thing.

  “You all set up?” she asked.

  Xander stepped past Jake and stopped in front of her. “Yeah, everyone is in position. Reza is out in the city right now. We have a team following him. He has his laptop case with him, so we’ll stick with the plan to strike later. For now, we thought we could get into his room and place a camera and listening device.”

  “If he’s some cyber expert, won’t he pick up on those?” Jake had seen it happen in the movies, at least.

  Xander looked over at Jake. “Maybe if we planted a device in his suitcase, he’d discover it at some point, but I doubt Reza is checking his room for bugs. He has no reason to worry.”

  “If you say so,” Jake grumbled. He wondered if he’d had a bad experience in the past with something similar because right now his skin crawled with unease.

  “You remember anything of use yet?” Xander asked.

  “No. Sorry, man.”

  Xander sighed. “Well, maybe we can pull this off either way, but since Anarchy knows you’re alive and tried to kill you, I assume you must know something of value,” Xander said.

  “And do you think they changed their plans now that they know I’m not dead?” Jake asked.

  “It’s possible, which is why it’s important that we get this malware embedded into Reza’s computer. We need to figure out what the hell they are up to.” He frowned. “Kemal Bekas has gone off the grid. And our team lost sight of Gregov in Cyprus.” Xander’s voice was gravely calm, a lot calmer than Jake’s would have been.

  “What do you mean they’re gone?” Alexa’s face flushed. “We’ve had eyes on them since the beginning, and we’ve never lost them once.” Alexa rubbed a hand down her smooth skin, her fingers dipping to the small diamond pendant at the base of her throat.

  “I don’t have any feckin’ idea how Bekas and Gregov slipped the agents, but they did it before the American reinforcements came in. So, it’s on us to find them.” Xander shook his head with disappointment. “But I have to assume that some shit is going down soon. Getting into Reza’s computer is our only hope of figuring out what’s going on in time to stop it.”

  Alexa’s face blanched. “This is it,” she said softly as Jake moved to her side. “Bekas’s end game. The final blow . . .”

  “Which means it’s going to be—”

  “God awful if we don’t stop it,” Alexa rasped as she tucked her arms across her chest. She went to the window and peered out. “Jesus, Xander. What if we can’t stop them?” She spun around and faced the two men, her forehead pinched together with concern.

  “We will,” Jake answered without hesitation, which induced a look of surprise from Xander.

  “And how can you be so certain?” she asked.

  “Because I refuse to let you down.” Maybe that was a stupid answer, but he had to believe it. If he trusted his instincts and fought for the courage to be whatever kind of man he had become—a man who’d survived Afghanistan and Iraq—well, he could do this then.

  What other choice did he have?

  Maybe he’d been scared when he first woke up in that hospital in London and tried to make sense of his life, but now, memories or not, he knew what he had to do. And he’d be damned if he was going to let the terrorists who’d abducted him and murdered his team get away with it.

  “We’ll get this fucker,” Jake bit out with searing confidence, hoping she’d believe him.

  She stared at him for a solid minute, and he almost forgot Xander was with them. She finally nodded at him. “Okay . . .”

  “Okay,” Xander echoed. “Let’s do this.”

  Alexa moved to the door and grabbed her leather jacket, which was still on the floor from the previous night.

  Jake noticed Alexa’s cheeks turn crimson when Xander faked a cough, a smile pulling at his lips.

  “What?” She raised a dark, arched brow.

  “Oh. Nothing.” Xander opened the door and waited for them to exit first.


  A few minutes later, they were standing outside of Xander’s hotel room.

  “I suppose Jason is in there.” Alexa’s spine was stiff, her lips drawing into a tight line.

  “Yeah.” Xander peeked at Alexa as she pressed her hands to her core. His keycard hovered near the sensor. “You good?”

  “Sure.” She tipped her head forward, giving Xander the go-ahead.

  Jake’s stomach rolled with worry, and he wanted to reach for her hand, to walk her through whatever pain was eating at her. But he resisted the compulsion. She was at work, after all.

  When the door opened, Randall and two strangers were directly across the room. One guy was sitting on the couch with his back to the door and a computer on his lap. His head looked like a large oval egg—it was shaved to the scalp, with not a lick of hair in sight. The other man was sitting at the room’s only desk, thrown into shadowed relief by the expansive window beyond. His attention remained fixed on the screen in front of him, and he was wearing huge, full-coverage headphones. The faint echo of rock music drifted over. The guy was going to lose his hearing at that decibel.

  Randall looked up from where he was standing once the door closed. His hip was perched against the back of the couch, and he was holding a hand over his ear. “Alpha team is in position, and we have eyes on the target. He’s at a coffee shop a mile away from here, and he’s on his laptop.”

  “Okay. Let’s not lose him—he’s all we have right now,” Xander said, his eyes lingering on Alexa.

  She was standing absolutely still, staring at the man at the desk. That had to be Jason, then.

  Jake squinted, adjusting his eyes. The guy’s black hair was cropped. His neck was thick, his shoulders broad—it looked like this computer genius also frequented the gym.

  Jake moved around in front of Alexa. Her face was ghostly pale as her hand slanted to her side, curving over her hipbone.

  “Are you okay?” Jake asked softly.

  Alexa’s hazel eyes met his, and her stance softened a little, but only for a moment. She blew out a breath and sidestepped Jake. She crossed the room to stand in front of the desk. “Jason.”