Hot, Quick & Dirty: 12 Steamy Short Stories

by Cleveland, Eddie

  No sooner than I spit into the sink do I hear a blast of music from my neighbors. Oh well, I shrug in the mirror. If they’re going to be loud, this is the time of day I don’t care. Unlike seven in the morning, when I can’t function.

  I smile as my mind replays my introduction to Jake and Luke this morning. I know I shouldn’t have been so angry, but sometimes it’s just impossible to contain this temper inside. My mother had it. Her mother had it. There’s a long line of Irish in these veins. Maybe that’s why I’m such a natural at the whiskey bar.

  “MacKenzie!” I tilt my head as my name interrupts my thoughts. Peeping out the bathroom window down at my front lawn, I slump my shoulders over and sigh.

  “No,” I moan. “Not him. Not now.”

  I cringe as Chris stands on the small patch of green shared by me and the new neighbors holding an 80’s style boombox overhead and yells out my name again.

  Fuck.

  Here’s the other downside to working my job, without fail, you get some sad, clingy patron who is utterly convinced that you’re somehow the one for him.

  Chris is harmless, but he’s a pest. A persistent one at that. The first time he walked into my bar with his group of friends, I felt sorry for him. He was out of place with the strong, sexy men who surrounded him. Like an adult child, I could easily picture him at home playing with his still-in-the-package collector’s item comic book toys. The very grown and very hot guys he showed up with couldn’t be less like him. Where he looked like he might still watch Sesame Street, they looked like Leonardo DiCaprio and his friends from the Wolf of Wall Street.

  “MacKenzie!” He cries out again, ripping me back to the scene unfolding below.

  I sigh and rush downstairs, flinging my front door open with anger for the second time today.

  “Chris, what the fuck are you doing? Do you think you’re in an 80’s movie? Put that thing down and get out of here,” I point at the boombox he holds over his head.

  “Oh, so you do know this guy,” my head jerks over to Jake’s smug voice and smile.

  Standing in their own front entryway, Jake and Luke are enjoying the theatrics that Chris is humiliating me with.

  I refuse to look at their tall frames. I can’t meet their stares. In each of their hands is a beer that they sip nonchalantly while this moment drags on.

  “Yeah, he’s a regular at my bar,” I snip back.

  “MacKenzie,” Chris interrupts, “I know you’ve told me there’s no chance for us, but I need you to listen to this song and look into my eyes and tell me you still don’t feel the same way,” the pale, slight waif of a man cuts in. He’s been frequenting my bar three nights a week since I made the mistake of taking pity on him and flirting with him, harmlessly I might add – just to make him feel like less of a loser that night. That’s a mistake I’ll never make again.

  “Chris, go home. Seriously, go home right now or I’m turning on the sprinklers again,” I glare at him.

  “Again?” Jake muses. “And we’re the annoying neighbors, huh? Who’s interrupting lives with noise and, well whatever the hell this is,” he holds up his palm at Chris, “now?”

  My cheeks burn up and I turn away from Jake. I refuse to get into this with him, especially because he’s right.

  Chris lowers the boombox to his shoulder and presses play. I didn’t think this moment could get worse, but as “Song” fills my ears, I know that I was wrong. So wrong.

  “Dude, I’m cringing so hard right now,” Luke calls out as Chris raises the relic from the 80’s over his head and stares me down.

  The cheesy lyrics pour from the low-quality speakers and I shake my head.

  “Do you want us to take care of him?” Luke’s deep voice draws my gaze back to him.

  “Possibly,” I consider the offer.

  The guys both stand up taller and I reconsider. “No, don’t hurt him. He’s harmless, annoying, but harmless,” I raise my hands to stop them.

  “We won’t hurt your boyfriend,” Jake smiles.

  “He’s not my boyfriend. Not in this lifetime or any other.” I snap loudly and a look of pain flinches across Chris’s face.

  “Hey man, turn that off, will ya?” Luke calls out.

  “Not until the song is over,” Chris answers, literally standing his ground.

  “Dude, it might not sound like it, but that song is done. Shut it off, man.”

  For a second Chris stays still. The only thing moving is his eyes darting between me and the guys. Then, he listens and clicks the stop button, lowering the stereo to the ground.

  “Good man,” Jake smiles. “Listen, I think you must be confused or something because MacKenzie is already taken, bud. She doesn’t have time for this stuff.” He leaves his front door step and walks over to me.

  “Taken? By you?” Chris tries to process the idea slowly as Jake stands beside me and slings his arm over my shoulder. His beer dangles from his hand and wafts up to my nose.

  “By just me? Nah,” Jake nods at Luke, who also joins us on my step and throws his free hand around my waist.

  A shiver runs through me as I’m flanked by these two sexy guys. If only.

  “Yah, man, she’s got her hands full.” Luke agrees.

  “Not just her hands, if you catch my drift,” Jake adds.

  I’d be embarrassed by his suggestion if I didn’t sorta wish it were true.

  Betrayal for a relationship that never existed flashes in Chris’s eyes. “Oh,” he finally utters.

  “Yeah, she’s got, like twenty inches of cock between us, right MacKenzie?” Luke spells it out. “There’s no room for more.”

  “Well, probably more like nineteen, right?” Jake interrupts. “You’re packing more like nine, if we’re honest,” he teases his friend.

  “Dude, really?” Luke answers.

  I can’t help but smile. On the lawn, Chris picks up his boombox and slowly retreats to his car like a lost puppy as the guys hold me between them.

  Finally, after one more mournful look over his shoulder, he gets in his car and drives away and the guys break out into laughter.

  “There, I think we solved your issue for you,” Jake grins down at me.

  “Thanks,” I can’t help but smile back.

  “So, is this what you always wear?” Luke asks and I swirl my head over to him checking me out in my short nightie.

  Heat blooms over my cheeks as I realize that I’m still half naked between them. “No, I went back to bed. Ugh, this whole day has been a total shit show.” I shake my head.

  “Well then, let’s brush that off and start again. How about you come over for some drinks? I think we earned a do-over, don’t you?” Jake levels me with his intense gaze.

  “I think so,” I agree. “Just let me get changed, I’ll be right over.”

  “Aww, I like this look,” Luke still slowly devours my body with his hungry eyes. I feel my nipples harden as they both stare at me.

  “I’ll only be a minute,” I force myself to pull away from them and go back inside.

  Damn they’re hot. I need to hurry, I don’t want to miss a second of this night.

  * * *

  Chapter 4 - MacKenzie

  Taking the stairs two at a time, I race to the top and quickly make my way to my bedroom closet. I know there’s no big hurry, but I’d like to get changed as fast as I can so I still have a little time to put on some lip gloss and eyeliner before I tackle my crazy mane.

  Sch-wip, sch-wip! I slide the hangers across the bar and eye up my outfits. I decide on a flirty, short skirt and a form fitting tee. It isn’t long before I slip into a matching bra and thong and layer my choice of clothes for the night over top.

  My feet fit snugly in my ballerina flats and I stop by my full-length mirror to take a peek at the completed ensemble. Not bad, if I do say so myself.

  My eyes travel over my body slowly, like Luke’s did earlier and a tiny shiver runs through me with delight.

  I remember, when I could never imagine any
guy looking at me like that. When I was in junior high and had a face full of hormonal acne and a mouth full of braces, I never imagined I’d ever be anything but ugly. The fact that my mother insisted I perm my short hair into tight, poodle-like curls didn’t help things either.

  Now, my hair is more work, but I love how it flows over my shoulders and down my back like a trail of hot lava.

  It doesn’t take that long to tame my casual curls into submission. Then with a swipe of lip gloss and some quick work with my eyeliner, I’m ready to go.

  I check the time on my way back downstairs, it only took me twenty minutes. Not bad.

  Making my way to the dining room, I linger in front of my liquor cabinet as I decide what to bring over. You don’t work for years at a classy bar and not learn a thing or two about booze.

  I pluck a bottle of Monkey Shoulder from my collection of amber bottles of aged whiskeys and head out.

  Rapping my knuckles against my new neighbors’ door, I tilt my head and listen as I hear someone walking toward the door. It sweeps open and reveals Luke with a grin on his face.

  “Well, well, looking good. And you brought a welcome gift too, nice.” He lifts the bottle from my hand. “Come in, make yourself at home,” he moves from the door and I cautiously walk inside as if I didn’t just barge in here only hours ago.

  In all honesty, it doesn’t feel like the same place at all. My mouth drops open as I walk into the living room, now completely put together. I twirl in the middle of the room, in disbelief that they’ve made so much progress on moving day. When I first came here, it took me a month to get unpacked fully.

  “The place looks amazing,” I smile at my guests, both carefully watching me.

  “Thanks,” Luke responds. “That’s why we started so early today, we wanted to have it done by tonight,” he explains.

  I stare too long into his beautiful blue eyes, even after he has spoken. They’re hypnotic.

  “How about a drink?” He holds up the bottle I brought, breaking the spell.

  “Sounds great,” Jake agrees. I nod my head.

  “Make yourself comfortable,” Luke nods at the leather sofa across the room before disappearing into the kitchen.

  I take a seat and Jake joins me. For once, he’s not staring me down with his deep brown eyes. He’s not scowling or smug. Instead, he leans back and relaxes, like he hasn’t had the chance to sit down all day.

  Judging by this place, neither of them have.

  Luke returns with our drinks and sits on the chair across from us with a friendly smile.

  “So, you mentioned you work nights?” He breaks the ice.

  “Yeah, I’m a bartender at a whiskey bar downtown,” I answer and take a long gulp from my drink. It goes down smooth, tracing a warm trail down my throat.

  “Oh, cool. Is that where that guy came from?” He nods back at the door as if Chris is still standing out on the front lawn with a boombox.

  “Yeah, he came in for drinks one night and became obsessive,” I explain.

  “Not hard to see why,” Luke’s friendly smile evaporates from his face as his gaze freely explores the curves of my body.

  I clear my throat and look at Jake, who still hasn’t said a word. “So, what do you guys do for a living? Are you brothers? Or…?

  “Luke and I have been friends since we were kids,” Jake sits up taller and I notice how his muscular shoulders seem to grow even wider as he breathes in.

  “Yep, this guy has had my back since grade seven. Wouldn’t trade him for the world,” Luke agrees. “As for jobs, I dabble mostly. I like to think of myself as an artist.” He brushes his shaggy, blond locks from where they’ve fallen across his bronze-kissed forehead.

  In his skin-tight tee, I can’t help but notice his tightly coiled muscles and the deep cut ridges between his well-defined abs. For a second I picture my tongue running over every bump.

  “That’s Luke’s way of saying he doesn’t get paid well. He makes jewelry that he supposedly sells down at the beach. However, I think he spends more time on his board than at his table.”

  “Dude, the waves are my inspiration. I get my best ideas when it’s just me and the waves.”

  “I’ve never tried surfing,” I admit. “I’ve always wanted to though.”

  “You should totally come to the beach on your next day off with me. I’ll show you the ropes,” Luke’s blue eyes brighten at the thought.

  “Thanks, I might do that.”

  “Don’t thank me, if I get to see that bod in a bikini, I’m the one who should thank you,” he smiles.

  Normally, I enjoy a good game of cat and mouse, it’s pretty rare that I’ll go for someone so bold. However, I can’t help but smile at Luke. There’s something about him that’s incredibly sincere, and possibly, incredibly dirty. I like it.

  “Didn’t you say you’re a writer?” I turn in my seat and face Jake. His eyes narrow at Luke and then focus back at me.

  “No, I believe someone else mentioned that,” he keeps his lips pursed. So much for small talk.

  “Hey man, tell her what you write,” Luke eggs him on.

  Jake’s eyes flash as he gives his room mate a pointed look.

  “He writes dirty books,” Luke continues, “tell her, dude.”

  I watch as Jake sighs and takes a long drink from his glass, emptying it. “How about you get some more drinks, huh?” He hands his glass to Luke, and I follow suit.

  “Dirty books?” I don’t let him change the subject so easily. “What kind of dirty books?”

  Jake rubs his hand over his dark scruff as the corners of his full lips twitch. When he looks into my eyes, I feel like I might melt right here on the couch. His eyes are so intense, I can’t make myself look away.

  “The kind that make you pull your vibrator out from under the mattress because you get so worked up. The kind that get stuck in your head and make your heartbeat quicken when little flashes of the story run back through your mind. Those types.” His rich voice rumbles.

  “Yeah, he writes erotica. Real filthy stuff too, and chicks love it. You girls are a lot dirtier than you like to let on,” Luke returns to the room with drinks.

  I don’t answer. I slowly sip another glass of whiskey on the rocks as I think about how my own Kindle may have had a few stories like that on it from time to time. And by that, I mean tons of them right now. I wonder if I’ve read any of his?

  “What’s your last name?” I search through the files of my brain for any erotica author’s named Jake that I may have read.

  “It’s Black. But that’s not the name I write under.”

  “Well, what name do you write under,” I press him.

  “That’s for me to know, and you to find out,” he trails his fingers down my arm and the room suddenly feels warmer.

  “How do I know you’re not going to write some smutty story about me, hmmm?” I bite my lip and look up at him.

  “Well, that depends on whether or not you give me something to write about,” his eyes quickly flicker over me.

  “I’ve got an idea for you, why don’t you write about a hot redheaded girl who works at a bar?” I smile coyly.

  “I’ve got a better idea,” Jake closes the gap between us on the couch. “How about I write about a stunning woman with hair like the extinguishing deep reds of a sunset,” he runs his fingers under my chin and tilts my face up to his. “Who is completely ravaged by two men at the same time,” he draws his face closer until his lips are hovering over mine. I can’t believe how wet just the suggestion has made me. I can’t believe how much I want him, them, to paint that picture with their actions instead of words.

  “Show me,” I whisper, and Jake kisses me hard, his lips desperate for mine as I feel Luke sit behind me on the couch.

  * * *

  Chapter 5 - MacKenzie

  I didn’t realize that a couch could feel so small. Flanked on each side by Jake and Luke, the delicate skin on my neck is being sucked, kissed and bitten from every
direction, sending zaps of electricity down to my clit.

  Jake pulls up my shirt, sliding his large hands under the hem as I hold my hands up in the air. His strong, tattooed arms flex as he tugs me free from the fabric. Behind me, Luke makes quick work of unclasping my bra, exposing my breasts.

  Jake’s breath teases my skin as he leans over me, billowing over my taut nipples. Pushing my arms together in front of me, I squeeze them together so my breasts invite his mouth to taste them. His wet tongue presses into my skin, tracing the side of my breast before hungrily pulling my nipple into the warmth of his mouth. I mewl as he teases each breast, dancing his tongue over my diamond-hard nipples in tantalizing strokes.

  “Pull up your skirt,” Luke’s voice is ragged with passion. I pull the fabric up around my waist, his fingers slide under the elastic band of my panties as he guides them down my legs. No sooner than he tosses them to the floor, he puts his mouth on my trimmed pussy. The heat of his mouth makes me grind against his lips in anticipation.

  I can’t imagine what his tongue will feel like pressed into my pussy when only the warmth of his skin and the steam of his breath already has me on the edge. Luke licks his tongue over the opening of my mound and pushes open my swollen lips. I twist my skirt in my hands, holding it close so I can watch as Jake suckles and nibbles at my breasts while Luke kisses my pussy on his knees. I watch him flatten his pink tongue, delving in between my lips, sweeping it upward until a pulse of electricity zaps through my core as he finds my clit.

  I gasp as he rolls his tongue over my sensitive nub, but get used to the heightened feeling developing between my legs. He flicks small strokes against my clit, making my ass tense up and clench as a warm feeling builds in my belly. His licking picks up and he twists his tongue over my clit in every direction driving me to the brink of my sanity.

  I rock my hips toward his face, pushing his mouth down harder until a wave of ecstasy washes over me overwhelming my senses, making me shut my eyes and roll my head back. Another, stronger wave crashes through me. I cry out at the unexpected euphoria that pulses through me, shooting out through my limbs. Luke looks up at me with a satisfied smirk.