“Do you think spending your time in classrooms will help you achieve what you want in life? Not just a job or a career, that’s a given. But, what you really want in life?” Sangwoo asks with such candor that it is challenging to not only interpret, but answer. His dark eyes are as penetrating as ever.
Whoa. Where did the philosophical questions come from? Why is he so interested in what I choose to do with my life? I suppress the impulse to stick my tongue out at him.
“I’m going to college to become a person with a goal,” I answer, feeling the ardor to answer this selective question correctly. “People chose different pathways to live. Some people are good at navigating the world and achieving the goals they set out for themselves without having to go further in school. Lina and Spyder know what they want to do, even though it’s a bumpy ride for them. I’m the other percentage of the statistic. I want to learn, see, and do more.”
That’s right! I can articulate myself. I mentally pat myself on the back.
“You can learn, see, and do more just the same in the real world.” Sangwoo’s voice is soft and genuine. There is a bemused smile on his lips.
Lina agrees wholeheartedly. My cousin jumps onto the college-isn’t-that-great bandwagon. “That’s exactly how I feel! Spyder and I are doing things our own way. We’re not going to let four years of our lives go by while we can jumpstart our future now.”
It must be difficult for Sangwoo to break eye contact with me, but he does. Casually, he steers the subject to the elephant sitting on the table. “And how does Mayhem fit into your future?”
A dark look dawns upon Lina’s face. It is better to let Lina go on with her spiel than to remind her about reality. Sangwoo knows perfectly well who Mayhem is, but he doesn’t know the reason for Mayhem’s presence at Spyder’s house. The way Sangwoo proposes the question makes it clear he is more than interested in the reason for Mayhem’s involvement with Spyder and Lina. Sangwoo has been lenient with the questions. Now that he has us sitting with undivided attention, the true intentions of what this dinner is about starts to show its roots.
“Mayhem doesn’t fit into our future. He’s just a terrorizing gang leader,” Lina confesses to Sangwoo finally. She glances at the surrounding tables to gauge eavesdroppers. My cousin lowers her voice and divulges, “Gangs have no mercy and no sense of justice.”
I glance at Sangwoo for a particular reaction, but his facial expression remains in the same stunningly cool manner. The lines on his face are still uninterrupted and smooth. “They can be unreasonable,” is all he states.
Lina shakes her head at his comment. The passionate response about Mayhem boils inside her. “You don’t understand. They’re not only unreasonable, but also vindictive. They’re like vampires. They will suck the life out of you and leave you to dry for the scavengers!” Lina hisses.
Sangwoo has an innocent look on his face; it is almost comical. “Vampires? I’ve never thought of them that way.”
“You never see them orchestrating their evil deeds during the day, do you?” Lina retorts. My cousin does have a rational point.
“Lina,” I interject before I can stop myself.
“So what exactly did you do for a gang to suck the life out of you and leave you to dry for the scavengers?” Sangwoo disregards my interjection carefully.
At this point in the conversation, Lina glances at Spyder. “It’s all my fault,” Spyder manages to say. He looks at Lisa with a wistful expression. For a person under morphine, Spyder’s pain is still evident in his dry and hoarse voice.
Sangwoo watches the exchange between them with an indescribable expression.
“It’s our fault.” Lina’s voice softens. She forgives Spyder too easily. “We shouldn’t have gotten involved with them.” Lina is not ready to divulge to Sangwoo the true reason for Mayhem’s visit. Instinctively, I wonder why.
“It must have been serious enough for them to actually come to your house.” Sangwoo splits his attention between Lina and Spyder. It is his subtle way of pushing for more answers.
“It is,” Lina replies somberly. “But it doesn’t justify the fact that they could hurt us and treat us like garbage.”
“They just don’t care.” Spyder winces as his cheek moves painfully. “Especially that Mayhem. He’s completely ruthless. No wonder why his rivals would do anything to squander him.”
Sangwoo listens with intense concentration, but he doesn’t push the subject any further than what Lina and Spyder want to talk about. His lips remain in a hard, fine line.
“Let’s talk about something else,” I interject again. I can’t bear the conversation dwelling on Mayhem any longer. I pick up my glass of water and chug it down in large gulps. Incidentally, the mentioning of Mayhem makes me remember his intensely beautiful expression, especially those smoldering dark eyes that watched me sign the loan repayment contract. They never even gave me a copy. I scowl inside.
He is sensitive to the tone of my voice. Sangwoo reaches for the bottle of white wine to the side of the table. The cork is already open, so Sangwoo conveniently pours the wine into our glasses. Lina, Spyder, and I watch Sangwoo disseminate our drinks with silent participation. When he is done, Sangwoo picks up his own glass and holds it at arm’s length to the center of the table. He states simply, “Let’s toast.”
In a simultaneous manner Lina, Spyder, and I reach for our glasses and raise it to Sangwoo’s. Since Spyder can’t drink, he picks up his own glass of water with a pleased expression on his face. Even Lina looks content despite her troubles.
Sangwoo smiles at us and says with that distinctive charm of his, “To new friendships and staying away from vampires.”
Lina lets out a surprised laugh while Spyder does his best to keep from splitting the stitches on his cheek open. I stifle a laugh. What the hell. If a gang leader asks you to raise a glass, you do it even if his speech has a dangerous undertone to it.
Together, we bring our glasses to the center of the table. Sangwoo and Lina are the only ones who finish theirs in one gulp. Even white wine is difficult for me to hold down. Spyder barely takes a sip of his of water.
“It’s nice to have an older friend who can get us drinks,” Lina jokes. My cousin wipes the corner of her mouth. She definitely cares what Choi Sangwoo thinks of her. He has the same effect on Lina too. Maybe everything I am imagining about him is exactly that–imagination.
“Oh, this is only a one-time thing,” Sangwoo corrects Lina with the same humor.
The topic of conversation eventually transitions from the gloom of Mayhem to reviewing our food when it’s served. The rough patch of the conversation gets covered by topics that are more general. By the time dinner is over, two hours later, we are all in a different mood and mindset. Sangwoo and I fight over the bill until Lina suggests that I pay next time. My cousin gives me a sly smile when Sangwoo agrees. It is apparent that Lina and Spyder like Sangwoo. Sangwoo, on the other hand, is a bit more difficult to read. He has such a calm air to him that it is challenging to gauge if the feelings are mutual.
After dinner, Sangwoo leads the way out of the restaurant with the three of us in tow. I don’t miss the fact that more than half a dozen females look up from their dinner at Sangwoo. He appears completely oblivious to the attention and exits the restaurant in a disquiet manner. I realize then that Choi Sangwoo has an intense air of privacy to him. His eyes scan a room before he walks into it, but Sangwoo never makes eye contact with a stranger. His mannerisms are more deliberate than casual. This is a man full of mystery and calculated movements.
When we step outside of the restaurant, the Mercedes is already waiting for us. Sangwoo coolly slips the valet a bill and motions for me to get into the front seat. Lina squeals silently behind me.
SANGWOO ENDS UP DRIVING SPYDER and Lina back to her house. The car ride is comfortable and relaxing, especially after the amount of food we have consumed. By the time we arrive at Lina’s house, unique for its red bricks and slanted roof, Spyder is in a deep s
leep. Lina has to wake him up and he does nothing more than stagger out of the car in his sleep coma.
When Lina leaves the car, she pulls me along with her. My cousin gives me a tight hug and whispers in my ear, “Thanks so much May. We’ll talk more tomorrow. I can’t believe you never told me about him! Thank you for everything, cousin. I love you. Good night.”
Yeah, we definitely need to talk! My conscience is glaring at Lina. I cannot agree more. I need some alone time with her as soon as possible. For the time being, all I can do is return Lina’s hug. While she marches over to Sangwoo’s side of the car, I pull Spyder to the side. He regards me with a passive facial expression.
“How can you be so irresponsible?” I hiss under my breath. “Borrowing money from gangsters and taking my cousin down with you?” I am taking advantage of the free moment to scold him. I have been holding the frustration inside for too long.
Even though he is handicapped, Spyder narrows his eyes at me, “Not the time or place, May. You think I don’t know who that guy is?”
Irresponsible son-of-a-bitch. A fusion of emotions rises in my throat. I shake my head disapprovingly at Spyder. His black eyes harden and that unforgivable charm of his permeates the air. I can longer stand it.
“He’s my friend. He helped you today!”
“He’s not your friend. What are you doing with a Crist member?”
I swallow hard and step back from Spyder. All this time, I thought he bought the story, but it turns out Spyder knows. I cannot do this with him now. Lina is running out of ways to thank Choi Sangwoo and will be returning soon. Without saying another word to him, I stalk back to Sangwoo’s awaiting car.
Lina is still saying goodbye to Sangwoo on behalf of Spyder too. “Bye Sangwoo. It was nice meeting you. Thank you for all your help today. We really appreciate it.”
“It was nice meeting you too.” Sangwoo returns the goodbye. He’s still in the driver seat; the engine continues running.
“Bye Lina.” I touch my cousin’s arm lightly.
She observes the look on my face and turns to Spyder. Lina immediately puts two-and-two together. My cousin simply nods her head and steps back from the curb.
“Everything ok?” Sangwoo asks me. He recognizes the upset expression on my face.
“Yes,” I whisper. I strap on the seat belt and face forward.
Sangwoo nods to Lina one more time before he shifts the car into gear. Instantaneously, the car pulls away from the curb and treks down the darkly lit street. Blurbs and circles of colors roam silently outside the window. The quiet hum of the car is soothing. Sangwoo drives with only his left hand while his right hand folds over the gear shift.
How can Spyder be so stupid? My head is still stuck on his statement. He doesn’t even have the courtesy to tell me thank-you for saving him. I’m going to tell Lina everything on my mind tomorrow. I owe her that.
A small flash of light emits from the far left side pocket of the car. It startles me. I turn just in time to see Sangwoo press a button his steering wheel. Suddenly, static frequency invades the silent car.
“Ren,” Sangwoo answers calmly. He inclines his head towards me as though to apologize for the surprise.
“Boss. The packages arrived.” A male voice permeates the car. His young voice combines professionalism with a tint of reserved fear.
“And the reapers?” Sangwoo asks shortly. He looks in the rearview mirror before switching over to the next lane.
“All counted for. The Gods are going to accompany our shipment,” Ren reports with consideration. “The Council just issued the approval an hour ago.”
“Take some more of our men with you. This could get messy and I don’t want to risk any of the constraints,” Sangwoo commands with authority. “Anything else?”
There is a short moment of hesitation on the other end of the phone line. “And Mayhem, Boss?”
I peer at Sangwoo through my eyelashes. My hands go numb at the mentioning of his rival. Sangwoo, on the other hand, is cool as a cucumber.
“The same. Anything else?” he answers with a controlled tone.
“No,” Ren concedes lightly. “Good night Boss.”
Sangwoo hangs up without a reply. The muscles in his jaw tighten. Is he mad? I can’t gauge this man. I have forgotten that in his world, Sangwoo is a much sought after person. His time is often auctioned, bought, and sold. Then why the hell is he here with you? Doubt is nipping at my conscience while she tries to fight him off.
Sangwoo glances at me with an arched eyebrow. He’s caught me staring at him.
Guilty. “Thank you for today,” I tell him in order to redeem myself for the intrusive staring.
“You’re welcome.” Sangwoo gives me a breathy reply and I feel an electric buzz through my veins. I don’t know how many times my stomach can continue to drop every time he looks at me like that. Why does he have such an effect on me? Because he’s so different from anyone you’ve ever known. Plus, you’re still stuck on the idea that you’ve met him before silly.
“I guess we’re even now,” I joke. “I helped you last Saturday and you helped me this Saturday.”
“If you put it that way, we’re never going to be really even if you think about it,” Sangwoo replies with quick wit. “Now that we’ve helped one another, it might be favors next.”
“You think so?” I do my best to hide the slight fascination I reserve for this man.
“I know so,” Sangwoo replies with the same cadence in his voice. He concentrates on the road ahead, but it is easy to see he knows the streets as though he is retrieving a personalized road map in his head. “Your cousin is a very strong character.”
“She is.” I am quick to agree. I begin to play with the strap on my tote bag. It is a nervous habit. “I’m still warming up to Spyder, to be honest.” I feel the need to vent about Spyder’s outlandish behaviors.
“Why?” Sangwoo leaves no room for assumption.
“Because he–” I cut myself off before I allow emotion to determine how much I want to divulge to Sangwoo. Part of me wants to tell him that Spyder is dragging Lina down with him while the other part of me is still trying to absorb the situation today.
Sangwoo senses my hesitation. “Is it because of his involvement with Mayhem?”
He hits the nail on the head with that one. I feel the avalanche of truth tumbling down. “Look, I’m going to be honest with you. I saw your confrontation with Mayhem.” Here I go.
Sangwoo keeps his eyes on the road. His lips press together in the same tight, fine line manner. His jaw muscles clench together, giving off the impression that he is considering what he is willing to disclose. “Mayhem and I . . . do business together, occasionally. Sometimes we get along, sometimes we don’t. That is just the unruly way it is in our business.”
A chill ripples through the back of my neck at Sangwoo’s disclosure. “Judging from your confrontation, Mayhem hasn’t been very compliant. Is that why you came to Spyder’s house today?” All the questions I want to ask march out of my mouth.
“Something like that,” Sangwoo answers shortly. He pursues the question again. “What happened today between Mayhem and you? Did you tell him you were an associate of mine?”
Shit. Does he think I’m some kind of user? I fiddle tightly with the strap of my tote bag again. My mind is trying to formulate the best possible answer without giving up all the details, but I realize there is no way I can dance around the truth. I look down at the large gauze around my index finger, and the memory of what happened earlier comes flooding back like a reoccurring nightmare. Contrary to what I know will produce the better outcome, I find myself willing to confess to Sangwoo that I have been putting up a front. The truth involves the fact that I have to come up with thirty thousand dollars in a week. That is not humanly possible at the rate I am going. Besides, I don’t want to tell Sangwoo how stupid I am for agreeing to pay Lina and Spyder’s debt. I am out of my league with Mayhem, but I dug my own grave.
Slowly,
I reach inside my tote bag for the necklace. I inadvertently tucked it inside my bag before we left the hospital. In the darkness, I am still able to find its distinctive bearing against my skin.
“You left this at my house last week.” In a smooth motion, I extract the necklace for Sangwoo to see. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I was just so scared when Danny was hurting my cousin. The look in Mayhem’s eyes scared the living life out of me too. So, I took out this necklace and told them I am associated with you. It gave me credibility and saved us.”
Sangwoo is silent as he listens to me. His eyes do not leave mine to look the necklace. Fortunately, we are at a red light. For some unknown reason, Sangwoo’s quiet demeanor gives me the courage to continue.
“Spyder and Lina borrowed money from Mayhem,” I confess. My voice comes out small and shaken. Even speaking about it takes quite some composure on my part. “They borrowed twenty thousand in the beginning, but apparently Spyder laundered some money out to a rival of Mayhem’s. So now, Mayhem doesn’t just want to add another thousand to the total but also collateral.”
The relief of confessing the truth feels similar to a breath of fresh air.
“And you’re collateral. You associated yourself with me so that you could help Spyder and Lina pay him off.” As though I am an open book and an indefinite easy read, Sangwoo offers the final details. He turns to look at me momentarily.
Anxiously I answer, “Yes.”
Sangwoo faces the road again as he shakes his head disapprovingly. “Let me guess, they pricked your finger to sign a blood contract to pay back the loan.”
I shouldn’t be surprised that Sangwoo knows the details to a dangerous fault. After all, Choi Sangwoo probably handles similar business transactions the same way. What is the difference between one gang and the next anyway? My emotions climb a steep hill, so I bite my bottom lip from replying to Sangwoo’s comment.
“Are you upset?” He senses it in my rigid body language and tense silence.
“No, why would I be?” I lie with a clear intonation.
April Loves Black Coffee: First Impressions Page 12