April Loves Black Coffee: First Impressions

by Solangel, T. B.

  “I’ll think about it.” I want to make Eunhye happy and Mr. Im feel like he’s making a difference. Little does Mr. Im know, his nephew’s suggestion deploys a death trap for me.

  “That’s my girl!” Eunhye wraps her arms around me.

  “Excellent.” Mr. Im flashes me a grin.

  “We can exchange information after. You can call me when you are ready.” Mayhem’s tone comprises of a heavy bluff and amusement. The murky look in his eyes is daunting to the very last blink.

  I’m not going to! I want to snap at him. Instead, I take the high road because Mr. Im is sitting here and my mother will be more than happy to set me in my place if I act up.

  “Thank you.” I pick up my glass of water and proceed to drink. I notice that Mayhem is drinking coffee–one of Eunhye’s most potent dark coffee. I am a coffee lover, but the death coffee he is drinking had my nerves tweaking for hours on end the first time I tried it. One glance at Mayhem’s cup and I know he is close to finishing it off. Maybe gang lords have a very different stamina from us little people. They probably don’t have inhibitions or fears like us mortals. Like I said, they probably don’t need to use the bathroom either, my intuition taunts.

  “So tell me more about yourself Eunhye. Have you always been a nurse?” This time around, Mayhem turns the table on Eunhye.

  My mother blushes at his concern. She is enamored with him. “Well, I started working at this particular hospital when my husband, May’s father, decided to move to Seoul. We–”

  “Mom, I don’t think we should talk about that right now.” I have to intervene. The mentioning of my father hovers like dark clouds over my head. Quite frankly, I don’t think it is any of Mayhem’s business to know personal details about us. If anything, I am protecting the Lee women from the gang lord’s wrath.

  My remark stings her, and Eunhye gapes at me. My mother is not in on the Yoon-Jaewon-is-a-gang-lord secret. “May–” She looks hurt that I am objecting to her disclosure.

  Shit. I need to get out of here before I turn into a mess. “Excuse me for a minute.” I stand from the table and make a quick exit down the hallway. The last image I see is Eunhye’s flustered facial expression along with Mr. Im’s confused grimace. I avoid Mayhem’s eyes altogether. My heart pounds in my ribcage. My head is dizzy. What the hell is going on? Who does Mayhem think he is coming into my home and getting my mother not only to like him, but to also disclose our personal information? I am beyond disturbed.

  I rush into the bathroom and throw water on my face. I don’t even know if the water is cold or warm. My hands are shaking. I cannot handle the pressure of sitting across from Mayhem anymore and listening to him lie through his teeth about being a legitimate CEO for the sake of Eunhye and Mr. Im. The irony and the lies strike me as something wicked and cruel. I have to do something. Will calling the police help? I am sure he is on their most-wanted list. He’s probably in with them too. My conscience takes the opportunity to remind me.

  I wipe my face with a fresh towel and resign to going into my room. I can lie that I am not feeling well. I turn off the light in the bathroom and make my way out to the hallway.

  “Wait.” Strong, powerful hands grip my wrist. He reaches for me like a shadow embedded in the wall.

  “What are you doing?” My back is against the wall as Yoon Jaewon, or as the dark underground world knows him as, Mayhem, leans into me. Casually, he invades my space. Mayhem’s hands extend against the wall on both sides of my shoulders. He has me trapped and locked in his hold. Mayhem’s familiar and seductive cologne pervades my senses. I close my eyes, believing that it will reduce the dark attraction I have for him.

  There have been moments before when I wanted to get a good look at Mayhem, but I couldn’t. Even at the hospital, he was hiding underneath the dark hat. Now that Mayhem is right in front of me, up close and personal, I feel an alarming sense of being enraptured in his presence. The darkest eyes I have ever seen are gazing at me with scrutiny and something else. The knot inside my stomach twists, leaking butterflies and something else.

  “Very cozy life you have here. I am sure that Choi Sangwoo would be able to afford a better home for you and your lovely mother.” Mayhem’s voice is cool and guarded. There is dark sarcasm in every inch of his words.

  “That’s none of your business,” I snap.

  “It’s very much so my business,” Mayhem offers simply. He changes the subject. “I wasn’t looking forward to this lunch, but seeing Choi Sangwoo’s associate is a pleasant surprise.”

  Gah, my intuition gasps loudly. “Surprise? It was a shock for me.”

  “You were happy to see me.” Mayhem lifts up a dangerous, overly confident eyebrow.

  Oh you have no clue, my intuition drawls. “Please leave my house,” I tell him curtly. The emotional loop Mayhem’s throwing at me is uncomfortable.

  Mayhem’s lips curl into a smile. “Is this how you treat your all your guests? Because if you don’t, it isn’t fair you’re treating me like a pariah when I’m here trying to spend some time with my uncle.”

  “Does your uncle know that his beloved nephew isn’t just a simple CEO of a finance company? That his nephew is actually a violent, malicious, vindictive, and crass gang lord who knows no bounds when it comes to morals and the order of life?” I am a spitfire, emotional and slightly disgusted with myself for being fascinated with this man.

  “You will keep your mouth shut.” Mayhem presses forward and for once our eyes are at the same level. “You breathe a word to my uncle and I will show you what a true crime lord can do.” The threat behind his voice is real. “Choi Sangwoo is child’s play compared to me.”

  My breath hitches in my throat. Every aspect of my body coils at his dangerous tone and robust threat. “So you do have emotions,” I marvel. This is Mayhem protecting one of the closest people to him.

  Mayhem’s eyes run along my face. “You have no idea who I am. Don’t try to guess.” There is a touch of evasion on his part.

  “You’ve killed?” I ignore him and ask with vigor.

  “Maimed,” Mayhem responds.

  “You’ve been in jail?”

  “Prison.”

  “You disregard the world and its rules?”

  “I’m all sorts of bad.”

  “Who are you then?” I feel the courage racing through my veins.

  Mayhem angles his face to accentuate his jaw. Those penetrating eyes cut deep into the depth of my soul. “You’re not ready for the truth.” He takes a step back from me. He is taller than I remembered. It is wrong for me to feel the electric current running through my body. I want to slap my hands for wanting to touch his face–if only for a few seconds. In that instant, I realize there must be more to Mayhem than the petulant rumors.

  “It seems like you and I are meant to meet either way,” I tell him with a bittersweet notion.

  Mayhem’s eyes narrow in a speculative manner. I am not imagining it. Mayhem lowers his voice another octave as he agrees softly, “I guess we are.”

  A sense of bewilderment slips through me.

  “How did you really get involved with Choi Sangwoo?” Mayhem asks. His tone indicates this is a pressing question. “I doubt he picked you out of the dreadful litter he has. I also highly doubt that he put you through his many initiation rituals.”

  The ominous feeling spreads in my heart. “Why do you want to know?” The stubbornness in me riddles with contempt.

  “Because I can help you escape his wrath before it’s too late.” The darkness in Mayhem’s eyes gives way to something much softer.

  My eyebrows come together in question. “Escape his wrath?” It is an interesting choice of words. He transports me back to our moment at the hospital. Mayhem is pushier and more forward than Sangwoo; his cryptic messages are untouchable.

  “You don’t listen to warnings and threats very well do you?” Mayhem asks with harsh conviction. Gold armor replaces the elasticity of the conversation. “It’s a shame that you don’t know
anything about my world. You need a healthy dose of fear injected into you.”

  “Danny tried,” I snap.

  “He was never going to really shoot you.” Mayhem stuns me with his confession.

  “What?”

  “If you’re expecting an apology, you’re not going to get one. You were unharmed. It was Choi Sangwoo who got shot.”

  “You really do live in your own world of rationale and logic.” I shake my head at him.

  Mayhem ignores my statement. Instead, there is light humor dancing in his eyes. Oh goodness. He is super attractive like that. My breath catches in my throat and I am speechless for the moment. “Let me make this clear to you. I can either make your life or ruin it. The choice hangs in the balance,” Mayhem warns with a biting tone.

  “What is that supposed to mean?”

  “It means that you are my means to Choi Sangwoo.”

  And the true snake reveals its motive.

  I am at his mercy. Mayhem cannot play me like this. I refuse to let him. I swallow hard. “I am not some helpless person you can utilize.”

  “We’ll see about that.”

  “There’s nothing about me that you can take advantage of.”

  “I beg to differ.”

  I can only gawk at him. “What is it about me that you gang leaders want?!” I exclaim. The burning question finally gushes out.

  “There’s nothing more valuable in a person than her ignorance,” Mayhem answers with a low growl.

  Alright, time to pack the bags and move. My intuition withdraws first.

  Mayhem lifts an eyebrow at my speechlessness. He is the dark Angel disguised as a human; his features are not only physically attractive, but also emotionally manipulative. It’s as though Mayhem was designed and engineered to execute the female species.

  “You have five seconds to get out of my way.” I stare him dead in the eyes while my heart thumps like crazy in my chest. How is it that I am feeling all these feelings for him when I don’t even have any for Choi Sangwoo? The emotions I harbor for Sangwoo doesn’t come close to this.

  “Or what?” Mayhem breathes.

  I bite my lower lip, staring at the pretty face with the personality of a jerk to back it up. “Or this!” I pick up my left foot. I kick Mayhem in the shin while shoving my hands at his chest. Causing him to stumble, I take my chance and run out of the apartment door. I am all impulse and avoidance like a small child running away from her problem. Very mature, May. My intuition stifles her mocking laughter.

  Mayhem recovers quickly, but doesn’t chase after me. He doesn’t even make a sound. I don’t know if he’s laughing or planning to kill me.

  I don’t want to stay and find out. Eunhye and Mr. Im turn from the kitchen when I sprint out of the apartment.

  “May!” Eunhye calls after me, but it is too late.

  I slam the door behind me and run like hell.

  _________________________

  “MAYHEM IS MR. IM’S NEPHEW?!” Lina stops midway through her jog and nearly causes several people to collide behind her. “What the hot fudge on a Sunday?!”

  “Lina.” I grab a fistful of my cousin’s shirt and pull her to the side of the trail. True to my promise, I am jogging with Lina. A two-mile trail snakes through this city park. Towering trees loom over the running trail and slant in opposite directions. We are lost in the thick forest of the trail, but the memories still haunt me.

  Lina has her hair tied out of her face while mine is under the hold of a ponytail. The hot summer air feels nice against my skin. The run has definitely kept my mind off Choi Sangwoo, but now my thoughts and concerns focus on Mayhem–Yoon Jaewon. It is too funny how the tables are turning.

  “Can you believe the odds of that?” I keep my breath controlled as I bend down to touch my knees.

  “He’s after you,” Lina concludes. She is breathing hard, wiping her damp forehead with the back of her hand. “You have to be careful May. For all you know, he could chop you into little pieces, bury you under wooden floorboards, and then go after us. Oh my gosh, it’s never going to end. This is all my fault.”

  “Please don’t be paranoid Lina,” I rebuke my cousin. It is also for my piece of mind. “He’s just Mr. Im’s nephew. If anything, now Eunhye and Mr. Im know him.”

  “How is he?” Lina asks for the notorious gang lord’s personality.

  “Crass, controlling, aggressive, overly confident. Basically, he is the works. He has this severe gang lord complex. Or more specifically, King syndrome.”

  “He should tell Sangwoo.” Lina is serious.

  “Why?” I ask.

  “So he can protect you,” Lina urges. “He’s going to be your Boss.”

  “Sure. Choi Sangwoo is going to take out his guns and knives to kill Jaewon for that,” I tell her. “Lina, it’s not going to happen that way. We’re not starring in a drama.”

  “Hmm.” Lina scrunches up her nose. “Maybe he likes you.”

  “Sangwoo?”

  “No. Jaewon.”

  I roll my eyes and burst out laughing. “I’m sure he likes me when he told me he could ruin my life.”

  Lina shakes her head. “Think about it, he said he was pleased to see you in the kitchen.”

  “Well, he wasn’t shocked.” The memory plagues me. I am suddenly uncomfortable with the notion that Mayhem might’ve known all along the connection between the two of us. But what if he was just as surprised? If that’s true, Mayhem should win an award for his immaculate reaction.

  “May, you are an attractive young woman. Gorgeous slushes probably surround these gang lords. It’s not rocket science that maybe they want someone who is more grounded and girl-next-door.” Lina has it down to a science. I don’t miss the fact that my cousin used her term of slushes for sluts. It is easy to see that Lina’s theory derives from the plethora of Korean dramas influenced by American romantic-comedy themes.

  I highly doubt this theory. Choi Sangwoo wants me because I remind him of Dead Girl. Yoon Jaewon sees me as a means to get to Choi Sangwoo. I am different shades of reasons for these gang lords.

  “I don’t think it’s about attraction with these guys Lina.” My voice is soft.

  “Look, if you don’t want to sign that initiation contract with Choi Sangwoo then don’t. I will help you as much as I can to repay him back. As for Yoon Jaewon, just stay clear of him and hopefully there won’t be any trouble.” Lina places a hand on my shoulder as though she wants to ease my anxiety. This sounds great in theory, but I am going to fail miserably. I am not the only active agent in this course of my life. If only Lina can understand the depth of Choi Sangwoo’s persistence.

  “Ok. Let’s just keep jogging.” I resign to letting this go for now. I pick up my pace and step back onto the trail.

  “May, you can’t just stuff this all under the rug!” Lina groans behind me, but the sound of her sneakers lets me know she’s giving in.

  “Last one back buys snack!” I shout. My sneakers thud on the ground as I push my body to the limit. I don’t want to hear my cousin’s advice. I need time and distance to think everything through. I need to let the whirlwind die down.

  AFTER OUR JOG LINA AND I grab a snack at the local bistro. We spend the rest of the afternoon talking about topics that do not include gangsters, gang leaders, or money. Hanging out with Lina brings a fresh batch of air. For once, my mind’s not convoluted with dark thoughts. It actually feels good to people-watch and be in the moment. However, in the course of the afternoon, Eunhye leaves me two angry messages. She wants to know why I ran out and when I am coming home. Choi Sangwoo calls once and leaves me a text message to call him back. By the time I part ways with Lina, the feelings of dread come back. At the rate you’re going, an anxiety attack is only another event away, my conscience mumbles out of pity.

  Mayhem clouds my thoughts on the way home. The impression he’s left on me is marred with rumors and his true identity. I am plagued with the notions that Mayhem lives up to his reputation, but at the s
ame time there is more to him than the status and repertoire. Every single time we meet, Mayhem warns me about Choi Sangwoo, yet he falls short in giving me a reason or a shred of evidence. If I didn’t know better, I would think he actually cares.

  Maybe he does. My intuition shrugs. Yoon Jaewon and Choi Sangwoo are complete opposites. While Sangwoo is cold and kind, Jaewon is mysterious and provocative. Sangwoo is reserved and careful while Jaewon is reserved and aloof. Sangwoo hides his true intentions while Jaewon wears his instincts on his sleeve. Two different men–two very different gang lords.

  Why are you thinking so much about this? Absentmindedly, I sigh. I have to stop going down this spiral. All these questions lead to no answers. I am back to square one. Gotta keep busy. Gotta keep moving.

  My apartment comes into view. With one last spurt of energy, I finish off my water bottle and round the last bend. When the towering gate comes into view, I spy a sleek, midnight blue coupe to the right of the intercom. The 320i BMW is as glossy and extravagant as ever.

  I pause in the middle of the sidewalk. Without warning, my heart thumps in a rhythmic manner. Memories of last night spread like wildfire through me. He is here. Choi Sangwoo is waiting for me. You should turn and run down the opposite street, my intuition snaps. But if I run, I have to keep running. If I get away today, there’s nothing to guarantee I will get away tomorrow.

  I gather up my mental barriers and approach the car. “Sangwoo?”

  The Crist gang leader is sitting in the driver’s seat dressed down in dark gray. His unwavering gaze is muted. As the evening light, a rich combination of orange and yellow dye, reaches his eyes; I notice how tired and indifferent Sangwoo looks. “Hi May.”

  “What are you doing here?” I do my best to keep my voice steady. I hesitate when I smell the alcohol radiating from the car. I don’t miss the fact that an open bottle nestles in one of the cup holders.