The Goodbye Boyfriend (The Boyfriend Series Book 3)

by Christina Benjamin

  He smiled tightly. “I’ll do my best, sweetheart.”

  28

  Nate

  When Nate got back to the waiting room, Ronnie was there. He must’ve come straight from the café because he still had his hot pink apron and colorful hair net on. He stood up as soon as he saw Nate, running over to crush him into a hug that filled the air with a fine dusting of confectionary sugar. Nate almost teared up at the familiar scent of sugar and fried dough that clung to Ronnie. It always reminded him of Sweet Thang’s, and Camille.

  “Oh Nathaniel, you are a sight for sore eyes. I can’t get any info about our girl outta no one ‘round here.”

  “I spoke to her doctor,” Nate replied. “She had a heart attack, but apparently it was mild. She’s in the ICU as a precaution because of her weak immune system.”

  “Oh, poor little lamb.”

  “Ronnie, why didn’t you tell me?”

  Ronnie locked eyes with Nate. “I love that girl like she’s my own. And when you walked in with her that first day, she made me swear not to tell you about the cancer. And Lord if it didn’t almost kill me. But if I had to do it over again, I wouldn’t change a thing.”

  Nate scowled. “Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “I was being sarcastic, Ronnie.”

  “Well, I wasn’t. Maybe you can’t see it now, but I sure do. You made that girl glow, bebe. I ain’t never seen her so happy as when she was with you. And that is something to be thankful for.”

  Nate’s throat tightened. He knew Ronnie was right. Because it was how Nate felt when he was with Camille. Like he was glowing. Like he was alive. “I am thankful, but I just wish I’d known she was sick. I wouldn’t have pushed her so hard to do so many crazy things. I feel like an idiot.”

  “You’re not, sugar. But maybe that’s why she didn’t want you to know. Everyone treats Camille different. I think she liked the fact that you didn’t.”

  Nate closed his eyes trying to hold back the tears. “I just want to make her better.”

  “I know, bebe.” Ronnie hugged Nate again. “Do you remember what you said to me the night I gave you a reading?”

  Nate shook his head. He could barely remember which way was up at this point.

  “You told me the best things in life are worth fighting for.”

  “So?”

  “So, the fight’s not over yet, bebe.”

  “But she doesn’t want to fight anymore.”

  Ronnie cocked his head. “And that’s okay wit you?”

  “No, but I can’t fight the cancer for her.”

  “And you can’t let the people you love determine how you gonna love them.”

  Nate shook his head. “I don’t know what to do.”

  “I wish I had all the answers, bebe, I really do. But one thing I do know is real love when I see it. And you got it for our girl. Am I wrong?”

  “No.”

  “Well then you gotta prove it to her while you still got time.”

  “She doesn’t want me around, Ronnie.”

  Ronnie laughed. “That hasn’t stopped you yet.”

  “This is different.”

  “How?”

  “I don’t know. It just is.”

  “Nathaniel, the way I see it, she’s gonna need you now more than ever. Just because she’s dying, don’t mean she don’t deserve you showin’ her how to live.”

  Ronnie’s pep talk was what Nate needed. His dad and Ronnie had headed home for the night, but Nate decided to stay. He knew the chance he’d get to talk to Camille was slim, but slim was better than none. Besides, if he went home, he’d do nothing but wish he were back at the hospital.

  Around midnight, Nate spotted Camille’s dad at the coffee machine.

  “Mr. LaRue?”

  Ray turned around, looking a bit disoriented. “Nate. You’re still here?”

  “Yeah.” Nate shrugged. “I don’t think I can handle being anywhere else.”

  Ray nodded, like he knew the feeling.

  “How’s she doing?” Nate asked.

  “She’s good.”

  “Ray, I know I have no right to even ask, but I have to. Do you think it’s possible for me to see Cami? I don’t even have to talk to her if you don’t want, but I just . . . I would really love to see her.”

  Ray put a hand on Nate’s shoulder. “She wants to see you, too.”

  Nate was waiting for the but, but Ray was smiling. “Come with me, but keep it short. If Josie finds out I let you see Camille I might be the one in the hospital bed.”

  Cami

  Camille thought she was dreaming when Nate walked into her hospital room. But his pale expression and lack of smile made her realize it was real. Nate stopped a foot from her bed, looking at her with terror in his warm caramel eyes. Camille hated the look of pity people always gave her—like she was already dead. And it was precisely why she hadn’t told Nate. She never wanted to see him look at her like he was now.

  “Hey,” he whispered.

  “Hey.”

  Nate stood there, staring for a moment longer. He looked like he wanted to come closer and she wanted him to. The Nate she knew had no sense of boundaries. He was always sitting too close, holding her hands, smelling her hair. An ache spiked in Camille’s chest, realizing he’d never do that again.

  “Cancer’s not contagious,” she said bitterly. “You can come closer.”

  “I know. I just figured you probably didn’t want me to.”

  “Why?”

  Nate rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “I sorta told your parents about everything.”

  She sighed. “I know.”

  “You do?”

  “Yeah. We had a fun chat about it for the past few hours.”

  Nate moved closer, pulling up the chair next to her bed. He straddled it backwards in one swift move and picked up Camille’s hand. His warmth spread through her and longing bloomed under her skin. She could feel the apology in the gentle squeeze of his fingers.

  “Cami, I’m sorry I told them.”

  “Don’t be. It wasn’t fair of me to put you in that position.”

  “So you don’t hate me?”

  “You’re sorta impossible to hate.”

  “So where does that leave us?”

  “Us?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Nate, there is no us.”

  “Look, Cami, I know I said some stupid things, but—”

  “It is sorta your thing,” Cami interrupted with a smirk.

  Nate huffed a laugh. “Yeah.”

  “We both said some stupid things, Nate, but I think the best thing for both of us is to just say goodbye now.”

  “What? No. Camille, I want to be with you.”

  “Nate, I have cancer. What’s the point?”

  “The point is that I’m in love with you. I fell for you, Cami, and cancer or no cancer, it doesn’t change the way I feel. And yes, I’m pissed you didn’t tell me. But I’d still rather be near you than anywhere else. And I don’t care if you think I’m stupid, but I’m not ready to give up on us. I want to fight, Cami. Even if you don’t.”

  “Nate . . .” Tears welled in Camille’s eyes. “You’re not stupid and you’re saying all the right things, but I can’t give you what you want.”

  Nate brushed away her tears. “You already have.”

  “But we can’t have a future.”

  “I don’t need one. Camille, you are everything. And I’m trying to tell you that this is all I need. Right now, with you. Every second I spend with you is worth a lifetime with anyone else. You’re it for me, Cami. You’re all I need. For however long that is. Just please don’t push me away.”

  “Nate, it’s just gonna make it harder in the end.”

  “I know.”

  “And I’m not going to change my mind about wanting to die.”

  “I know. It’s your life and it’s your choice. But I have a choice, too. And I want to be with you, Cami. For whatever time we have left
.”

  Camille’s heart hurt worse now than it had when she was having a heart attack. Her heart monitor beeped rapidly.

  Nate glanced at the monitor nervously. “Do I need to get a nurse?”

  Camille shook her head, afraid to trust her voice, as tears poured down her face. She patted the bed next to her and Nate’s worried expression softened. He climbed into her bed carefully, and she wrapped her arms around him. He held her, whispering soothing words while placing soft kisses on her head. She snuggled into him, drinking in his scent. She squeezed her eyes shut fighting her tears.

  Nate settled into the hospital bed, leaning back against the pillows so Camille could lie against him. She rested her head on his chest, soaking in the comfort just being near him brought. They stayed like that for a while, Camille, listening to Nate’s heart until her own mirrored its steady rhythmic beat.

  “Nate?”

  “Hmm?”

  “You make me feel better.”

  “Me too,” he whispered, kissing the top of her head.

  Camille felt him release a deep sigh and her own body involuntarily echoed it, freeing stress and tension. It was getting harder to keep her eyes open. “I don’t know if I can do this to you,” she whispered.

  “Do what?”

  “Drag you into my messed up life.”

  “Too late. I’m all in, Cami. It’s you and me together until the end now.”

  29

  Nate

  It was three days until Nate saw Camille again. She was battling her parents over her rights to refuse treatment, and Ronnie was doing his best to keep Nate updated. In the end, the doctors sided with Cami. Since her birthday was only two weeks away, they said it would do more harm than good to start her back on treatment, only to stop again once she turned eighteen. After the doctors ruling, Camille’s mother finally agreed to let her come home.

  Nate was practically giddy when he heard the news. And when Camille called him to say he could come over, he was out of the house before he even hung up the phone. He made record time getting to the French Quarter and had to remind himself to take the stairs to Cami’s room one at a time.

  He opened the door and his heart jumped to his throat when he saw Camille sitting up in bed with Poo in her lap. Her face brightened when she saw him.

  “Hello.”

  She laughed. “I feel like you’re always saying that.”

  Nate strode across the room and sat on her bed, petting the excited dog who attacked him with affection. Nate leaned over Poo to pull Camille into a hug. “I missed you,” he whispered.

  “Me too.”

  Cami

  Camille clung to Nate, drinking in his warmth and intoxicating smell. She wished she could bottle it and keep it with her always. Just having him in the same room did wonders for her heart. Nate had an inexplicable way of making Camille feel steady.

  “So how are things with your parents?” Nate asked.

  “Intense.”

  “It’ll get better,” he said squeezing her hand.

  “How are things with your parents?” she asked, eager to change the subject.

  Camille needed to escape the guilt she felt for disappointing her own parents. Being stuck at the hospital with nothing but their worried faces for the past three days had drained her strength. Plus, she knew things had been tense with Nate’s parents since she dragged him into the middle of her cancer drama.

  “Pretty good.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. I mean my mom was pissed about me skipping school but she’s been pretty understanding given the circumstances. And strangely, this whole thing has brought my dad and me closer. I haven’t seen him touch a drink since I freaked out.”

  “Freaked out?”

  Nate got that sheepish grin that Cami loved. The one where he scrunched up his face when he realized he’d admitted something he hadn’t meant to. “I sorta went home and trashed my room the day I found out you were sick.”

  “Nate . . .”

  “It’s fine. We’ve already repaired the drywall. And it forced my dad and I to spend more time together and talk about things. He’s been opening up to me about the divorce and he even says Tyler’s name now.”

  “That’s good,” Camille said, snuggling in tighter next to Nate.

  She loved Nate’s big heart and the way he always focused on fixing other people’s problems. But it made her feel bad, knowing she was just one more person he had to worry about. And there was no fixing her problem. Camille had agreed to spend the time she had left with Nate, but she was starting to have doubts that it was a good idea.

  He kissed the top of her head as if he could sense her worry. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

  She sighed. “Honestly, I’m thinking I don’t know where to go from here.”

  “What do ya mean?”

  “I know we said we were in this together, but I feel like I’m taking advantage of you, Nate.”

  He sat up and faced her. “Cami, wild horses couldn’t drag me out of here. You’re gonna have to face the fact that you’re not getting rid of me. And I promise, I’m definitely getting something out of this.”

  “Like what? I mean, this is probably it. We won’t be able to do other stuff.” Camille trailed off unable to say what she truly meant. I won’t be a normal girlfriend. I won’t have the energy to make out with you or go to prom or have sex.

  “Cami, even if all I get to do is lay in bed with you and watch movies all day, I’d be happy.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I love you.”

  She shook her head, as sadness filled her heart.

  Nate propped himself up so he could look at her. “Cami, you have to know you deserve to be loved.”

  “That’s not it.”

  “Then what is it?”

  “I know this sounds bad, but I don’t believe you.”

  “Why?”

  “How can I? You fell in love with someone who doesn’t exist.”

  “I’m pretty sure I fell in love with you. You are Camille LaRue, right?” he teased looking wildly around the room. “I mean you don’t have a twin do you, or is this like some Freaky Friday bit?”

  “Nate. I’m being serious. If you knew I had cancer from the beginning it’d be a different story, but I feel like I tricked you.”

  “Cami, I don’t know how else to explain it to you. You are the same girl I fell in love with.”

  She shook her head.

  “Okay, fine. Then let’s start over and this time we can be brutally honest.”

  “Nate . . .”

  “Come on. We started over before and that went pretty well if I recall.” Nate winked and Camille’s heart fluttered, remembering their date.

  “We can’t start over.”

  “You can always start over. You just have to want to.”

  She rolled her eyes but that didn’t stop him. Nate was already lifting her phone from her nightstand. He grabbed his own from his pocket and set them next to each other on his lap.

  “You ready?” he asked.

  Cami nodded.

  “I’ll start.”

  Nate: Hello, my name’s Nate. I smile a lot and do crazy things so I feel alive, because my brother died and I’m terrified of wasting my life.

  Cami: I’m Cami. I have cancer. And I’m tired of fighting it.

  Most days I don’t want to live.

  Nate: Sounds like we’re both pretty messed up.

  Cami: Yep.

  Nate: Wanna be messed up together?

  Cami: I don’t know how much time I have left.

  Nate: None of us do.

  Cami: I don’t want to be a waste of time for u.

  Nate: The only waste of time is regret. And if I didn’t spend time with u, I would regret it. U make me feel happy Cami.

  Cami: U make me feel happy too.

  Nate: Can we make each other happy for a while longer?

  Cami: I’ll give u all the time I have left.

  N
ate: I couldn’t ask for anything more.

  Camille put her phone down. The air in the room was heavy from their silent conversation, yet her heart felt lighter. Her phone pinged again and she looked down at her text message.

  Nate: One more thing.

  Cami: What?

  Nate: Will u be my girlfriend?

  Cami: Ok.

  Nate: Good, cause I’m in love with you.

  Camille put her phone down. The screen was blurry from the tears in her eyes.

  Nate pulled her close. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

  “I was just talking to my boyfriend.”

  “Yeah? What’s he like?”

  She laughed. “Kinda perfect.”

  “I like him already. But why are you crying?”

  “Because he scares me.”

  “Why?”

  “Cause I think I love him, too.”

  “Is that such a bad thing?”

  She shook her head. “Nate, can you promise me something?”

  “Anything.”

  “No grand gestures. I just want time with you.”

  He grinned and kissed her softly. “I’ll take it into consideration.”

  30

  Nate

  Three weeks went by and Nate spent every day with Camille. He went to her house after school, bringing her assignments and working on homework together. Nate loved entertaining Cami. He gave Poo new hairstyles daily just to hear her laugh. He played Ray’s guitars and ukuleles, serenading her whenever she asked him for music. He knew she wanted to hear the violin, but he didn’t have the heart to tell her he’d smashed his to pieces. Instead, Nate distracted her with flowers and collectable PEZ dispensers.

  But weekends were Nate’s favorites. They watched old movies and played board games. Camille complained constantly that she was the lamest girlfriend ever, but secretly, Nate loved every minute he spent with her. He had her all to himself and he felt like he was part of a family again.