More Than a Cowboy (Reckless, Arizona)

by Cathy McDavid

  “This is a delicate situation, one that could go very wrong, very fast.” He gentled his voice. “Trust me, when this is over in a week or a month—”

  “I thought I was important to you.”

  “You are. But our relationship isn’t the only thing at stake.”

  “What else is?”

  “I’m trying to protect you.”

  She backed away. “And yourself.”

  “That isn’t fair.”

  “You’re right.” She blinked the tears from her eyes. “I’ve been battered and beaten up by both my parents. My mother lied to me, and the father I only just met used me. On top of that, my sister’s angry. Constantly. And my brother goes out of his way to avoid us. Still, all I want is for us to be one big happy family. Stupid, right? Then you come along, and I think you’re the kind of guy I’ve been waiting to meet. Except you work for my father. Who apparently doesn’t give a damn about me or he wouldn’t have forced you to choose between us.”

  “First of all, I didn’t choose him over you.”

  “Feels like you did.”

  “In his way, he’s trying to do what’s best for everyone. Namely, grow the family business.”

  “You’re defending him!”

  “His motives, not his methods. Your mother’s no different. She also wants what’s best. Only her ideas are the polar opposite of Mercer’s. That leaves the rest of us caught in the middle.”

  In the cross fire was more like it.

  “Let’s leave. Today.” She clutched at his shirtsleeve with frantic fingers. “Phoenix. Tucson. California. It doesn’t matter.”

  “Running away won’t solve anything.”

  “It worked for you.”

  “By some miracle.”

  She released his sleeve with a jerking motion that might as well have been a slap to his face.

  “There’s nothing I’d love more than to go away with you,” he said. “Honestly. But we’re not teenagers, and the problems with your parents won’t disappear just because we do. There’s also my reputation.”

  “What difference will it make if we leave?”

  “It’ll make a difference to me.”

  “You think I’m being immature.”

  “Hardly.” No more game face. He wanted Liberty to see for herself his true feelings. “You’re the first woman I’ve met whom I’ve wanted to have a lasting relationship with. That wasn’t possible before you, and not because someone broke my heart. My parents did that. I haven’t forgotten the damage they inflicted, but I’ve moved past it. If not, I wouldn’t be standing here, desperate to hold you and going crazy because I can’t.”

  “You don’t think I’m capable of having a real, lasting relationship with you until my family is fixed?”

  “Do you?”

  “What if they’re not fixable?” She wiped at her damp cheeks.

  “Maybe you’re trying too hard. Instead of reconciling your parents, help them learn how to work together. As partners, not adversaries.”

  Lightning flashed on the horizon, followed by a loud clap of thunder. In another minute, the rain would fall. Riders scrambled to put their horses up before getting soaked.

  Deacon and Liberty didn’t move.

  “What about us?” she asked.

  “We need to wait until this latest upheaval with your parents plays out.” And until he was confident there would be no repercussions from Mercer. “We can’t afford to make another mistake.”

  She bristled. “Is that what the other night was? A mistake?”

  “No.” He winced. “Poor choice of words.”

  “Or just a poor choice.”

  “You know that’s not true.”

  “To be honest, I’m not sure.”

  Deacon didn’t let her remark affect him. Her world had been turned upside down for a second time in a month. She was allowed to fire a few arrows.

  It was tempting to reveal Mercer’s threat. Then she’d hate him and not Deacon. Except he believed what he’d told her before. They couldn’t move ahead until, as she put it, her family was fixed.

  “Be patient,” he said.

  “Argh! I’m tired of being patient, and tired of them controlling my life.”

  “They get away with it because we let them.”

  “And breaking up with me will stop it?”

  “Not a breakup.”

  “Breathing room. Space. A time-out?”

  “Something like that.”

  “Giving it some cutesy name doesn’t make it any better. Or hurt any less.”

  “Your parents are using our relationship against us.”

  “They wouldn’t if we stood up to them.”

  “You need to do it more than me.”

  She reeled as if shoved in the chest. “This isn’t my fault!”

  “Of course not. That’s not what I meant. I’m just as responsible as you. More.”

  “Another poor choice of words?”

  “I’m sorry.” He was saying that a lot.

  “An apology makes everything better,” she said tightly, and turned to go.

  “Please. Wait.”

  “Forget it.” She shook her head. “I was a fool to have gone home with you.”

  If she was trying to wound him, it was working. “Liberty, wait.” He raised his hand toward her. “Honey.”

  Her features crumpled, and she fled, disappearing into the office.

  Deacon debated going after her, but even if she’d listen, she wouldn’t take him back. Not after his world-class blunder. How could he have even remotely insinuated she was to blame for what happened?

  Getting into his truck, he drove away. On the day he’d signed the representation contract with Mercer, he’d resigned himself to the fact Liberty Beckett was off-limits. He should have stuck to his guns. Then neither of them would be running for emotional cover, and he wouldn’t be doing a damn fine job of living up to his old nickname.

  Chapter Fourteen

  “Is there anything else you need?” Anna Maria laid the completed motion to proceed on Deacon’s desk.

  “That’s all for now. Thanks.” He smiled. It was shallow at best.

  “I’ll finish updating your calendar before I leave.” She closed the office door behind her.

  Deacon studied the court document in front of him, for all the good it did. The letters refused to remain in focus. The malady had been plaguing him since his breakup with Liberty.

  Breakup. Not breathing room or space or a time-out. He’d abandoned that notion when she continually refused to take his phone calls. Three days ago, he quit trying.

  He caught periodic glimpses of her when he was at the arena exercising Huck and Confetti. He didn’t have to work hard at avoiding her, since she was doing a stellar job of keeping her distance. One evening he joined the team penning practice, secretly hoping she’d make an appearance. Halfway through, he’d spotted her SUV driving off.

  He worried that she was okay and, biting the bullet, asked Mercer about her. The other man had nothing to offer. It seemed Liberty refused to speak to him, too, except for arena business, and then only when absolutely necessary.

  Mercer’s pressure tactics had prevailed, and Sunny folded. The bulls, six in total, had arrived the day before yesterday amid tremendous fanfare. Sunny might not be happy about the arena’s newest additions, but everyone else was. Mercer had informed Deacon yesterday that they’d landed several new lucrative bucking stock contracts and entries were maxed out for their first bull riding jackpot next week.

  Like Liberty, Deacon spoke to Mercer only when necessary. Though he’d promised to work with whatever attorney Mercer hired to replace him, that had yet to happen. Mercer was stonewalling. Typical of him.

  Dea
con wasn’t sure he’d attend the bull riding jackpot. He’d been considering closing his practice and leaving Reckless. His friend Murry had made him a generous offer to join his firm as a junior partner. Deacon kept telling himself that changing jobs was a smart career move. New town. Fresh faces. Interesting challenges.

  There was still the matter of clearing his name, which he hadn’t done and wouldn’t if he moved. Weeks of asking questions had only resulted in more questions than answers. At this point, it was unlikely he’d ever find out what really happened.

  And unlikely he’d expand his practice. Another reason to accept Murry’s offer and relocate.

  Dammit. He should have waited before taking Liberty to his bed and taking her into his heart. Then, he wouldn’t have made impossible promises, only to disappoint her. No wonder she didn’t trust him, and no wonder he’d lost her.

  Leaving Reckless probably was for the best.

  You’re running away again.

  He’d told Liberty that wasn’t the solution when she’d suggested it. But these were different circumstances. A good job waited for him, one with enormous potential.

  You’re taking the easy way out.

  This particular self-criticism was a little harder to explain away. He’d been angry at Sunny for not standing by him after the accident when he should be angry at himself for not staying and fighting. Leaving had made it easy for people to blame him.

  What might have happened if he’d stayed? Hard to say. He wasn’t the same person as before. His priorities had changed and his past no longer defined him.

  Eduardo Frias had taught him that last lesson. Would he be disappointed in Deacon for leaving Reckless? That merited some rumination. Over a beer maybe. Deacon could be done for the day, if he chose, and the Hole in the Wall was just up the street. A short walk.

  He hadn’t been there since the night with Liberty. Memories assailed him the instant he walked through the door. Being a weeknight and with no rodeo in town, the place was filled with mostly regulars.

  Deacon claimed an empty bar stool for himself and ordered a draft beer.

  “You meeting someone?”

  He turned to see Ernie Tuckerman standing there. Where had he come from? “No.”

  “Do you mind?”

  Ernie was already sliding onto the neighboring bar stool before Deacon could say, “Have a seat.”

  He struggled to find a comfortable position. His bum leg stuck out in front of him at an awkward angle.

  Why had he joined Deacon? Their last encounter, not fifteen feet from here, was anything but social.

  Ernie didn’t make him wait long for the answer. “Your friend Murry came by to see me today. The Social Security Administration has offered a settlement.”

  The sum he named had Deacon whistling softly. Ernie could accomplish a lot with that money. Improve his living conditions for starters. “Congratulations. I’m glad to hear it.”

  “Are you? Glad?”

  “You were unfairly denied benefits for several years. The money was owed you.”

  “You didn’t have to help me. Most guys in your shoes would have told me where to shove it.”

  “We’re not teenagers anymore.”

  “What Liberty said the other day, she was right. I was ungrateful. And rude.”

  “You were angry. And you blamed me for what happened.”

  He reached into his shirt pocket and removed an envelope. From that, he withdrew three sheets of paper and laid them flat on the bar. Deacon recognized the acceptance letter from Social Security.

  “I haven’t signed this yet. I can’t.”

  “Why not?”

  Ernie smoothed the already flat pages, his gaze fixed on them. “There’s something I have to get off my chest first. Something important.”

  “Okay.”

  “I know you didn’t cause the accident.”

  Had all Deacon’s poking and prodding finally netted results?

  “How’s that?”

  Ernie’s hand trembled slightly as he fingered the pages. Nerves? A residual effect of his injuries? “I accused you before anyone could accuse me.”

  Deacon didn’t move. Didn’t dare speak. It was important for him to hear every word of Ernie’s confession. Vitally important.

  “I’m the one who opened the gates,” Ernie said. “Tank used the electric shocker on Heavy Metal and a couple of the other bulls. Got them good and mad so they’d charge.”

  “Why?”

  Ernie laughed bitterly. “I didn’t think anyone would get hurt. Least of all me. I told Tank to wait until I was out of the way. Guess he didn’t hear me or got in a hurry.”

  “That’s crazy.”

  “Yeah, tell me about it. I figured the bulls would run amok for a few minutes. We’d have us a time rounding them up, and you’d land in trouble. Maybe lose your job.”

  “You almost died.”

  “That’ll teach me to play a prank.”

  “A prank?” Deacon set his mug down, having lost all taste for his beer. “Did you hate me that much?”

  Ernie glanced away, then back at Deacon. “Not hate. But I was damn sure jealous of you.”

  “For what?”

  “You were a better bull rider than me. I overheard Joe Blackwood telling Sunny how you had the best chance of coming home with a state championship.” Pain ravaged his features. “I was stupid. It should have been me they were calling Einstein. Not you.”

  Liberty had implicated Ernie in the accident, but Deacon had talked himself out of the possibility. One more mistake he’d made.

  “When I woke up in the hospital after the surgery, I panicked,” Ernie continued. “I didn’t want anyone thinking I caused the accident so I blamed you. What I should have been doing was worrying about how I’d ruined my life. Can’t even ride a horse these days, much less rodeo.”

  If Deacon had considered Ernie’s accident a tragedy before, he considered it doubly so now.

  “I want to pay you for the work you did on my case.” Ernie nudged the pages toward Deacon. “I’m thinking we could split this fifty-fifty.”

  “I don’t want your money.”

  “You deserve it for what I’ve put you through.”

  Deacon took a moment to consider his response. He was tired of carrying a grudge. It had darkened his life for far too long.

  “Things weren’t easy for me after I left Reckless. In fact, they were pretty shitty. But I might not have the career I do now if I’d stayed.”

  “I’ll make sure everyone in town knows the truth.”

  “You don’t have to.”

  “I do. Especially the Becketts. I’ll drop by the arena tomorrow afternoon.”

  Deacon understood then. Ernie had a moral compass. He just hadn’t been following it for a while. Coming clean was his way of putting himself back on course.

  “I’ll tell you what you can do with some of that money.” Deacon raised his mug. “Buy the next round.”

  Ernie nodded. When he spoke, it was with difficulty. “It’d be my pleasure.”

  Deacon tapped the logo on the envelope. “They’re a good legal firm.”

  “Sure did right by me.”

  “They offered me a job.”

  “You accept?”

  “Not yet.”

  “Well, good luck to you. Folks in Reckless are going to miss you.”

  He’d miss them, too.

  After the next round, Deacon left the honky-tonk. He and Ernie didn’t part friends. Neither did they part enemies. A step in the right direction.

  Deacon decided to return to his office and finish reviewing that motion to proceed Anna Maria had prepared before heading home. He’d hardly started when the phone rang. It was Murry.

 
“Hey, buddy.”

  “You’re working late.”

  “I could say the same for you.”

  Deacon checked his watch. Any other evening, he might have run over to the Easy Money for a quick ride.

  What would he do with his horses if he left Reckless and took that job with Murry’s firm? There were plenty of places in the Phoenix metropolitan area to board them and ride. Some as nice as the Easy Money, if lacking their colorful, Wild West history.

  “I saw Ernie Tuckerman a while ago,” Deacon said. “He told me about the settlement offer. Nicely done.”

  “Speaking of which, have you given any more thought to the job?”

  Deacon leaned back in his chair and propped his legs on his desk. “As a matter of fact, I’ve made a decision.”

  * * *

  LIBERTY WATCHED ERNIE Tuckerman limp back to his junkyard reject car, still in a state of profound awe. She’d always believed in Deacon’s innocence and that Ernie was somehow involved in the accident. Not once did she imagine Ernie admitting his role and apologizing.

  Even more astounding, Deacon was closing his practice and leaving Reckless. Ernie mentioned that last part almost as an afterthought. Liberty had tried to hide her reaction. It wasn’t easy with four pairs of eyes studying her like a slide under a microscope. Family could be very intrusive at times.

  “That took courage,” Mercer said to no one in particular. “He didn’t have to come forward. And he sure didn’t have to tell us face-to-face.”

  “I’m glad we can finally put this to bed once and for all.” Sunny rose from the picnic table and, bracing her hands on her hips, gazed in the direction of the bull pen on the other side of the arena.

  The six enormous beasts were lying down and quietly chewing their cud, probably relieved the excitement surrounding their arrival three days ago had finally died down.

  “Maybe now you’ll be less worried about them.” Mercer went over to stand beside her.

  They’d gathered at the picnic table and chairs outside the office for the impromptu meeting with Ernie. There was no forethought involved. The spot simply happened to be where he’d caught up with Liberty’s parents and where she and Cassidy joined them.

  Sunny turned and gave Mercer “the look.” “I agreed not to fight you on the bulls and you agreed not to dissolve our partnership. Doesn’t mean I feel any better about having them on the property.”