Hope

by Lesley Pearse

  ‘I’m sorry if I startled you, m’lady, but I had to come.’ Nell’s voice quivered with nervousness. ‘I know I’ve always said how wicked Albert is, but I didn’t think he’d ever hurt you and Sir William. I’m so very sorry, m’lady.’

  Anne began to cry, not so much because of her former maid’s words but for all the memories her face brought back. ‘You don’t need to apologize for Albert,’ she sobbed. ‘If we’d taken more notice of what you’d said about him years ago, this wouldn’t have happened.’

  ‘There, there.’ Nell was by her side immediately, stroking Anne’s forehead comfortingly, just the way she always used to. ‘Don’t you blame yourself now, we’ve got to get you well again.’

  ‘I’m not sick, Nell,’ Anne said, clutching her hand in both of hers and pressing it to her lips. ‘At least, not in body, only in the heart. I’m so glad you came.’

  Anne knew Nell to be ten years younger than herself, which would make her thirty-eight now, but it was something of a shock to see her looking far younger than she ever had while she was at Briargate. An uncharitable thought sprang into her mind that this could be because she’d become Angus’s mistress.

  ‘You’ve had a terrible shock,’ Nell said, sitting beside her on the narrowbed. ‘I know what that does to a body. But we must get you somewhere more fitting for a lady of quality. You’ll recover quicker where you feel more at home.’

  Anne felt shamed that she’d allowed herself to jump to the wrong conclusion. Sweet, loyal Nell had in fact come to take her to Angus’s house!

  ‘Dear Nell,’ she sighed. ‘You always did have the ability to instinctively know what I wanted or needed. But I really don’t deserve your understanding.’

  ‘I slept in this very room myself for a time and I know how noisy it can be,’ Nell said with a fond smile. ‘You’ll get some peace at Wick Farm. Mrs Warren is getting a room prepared for you. She sent some clothes for you too; she said to tell you that you are more than welcome.’

  Anne felt as though a rug had been pulled from beneath her feet. ‘Howkind of her,’ she managed to say, stifling her disappointment. The Warrens had been good neighbours for her entire married life, but they weren’t close friends, and Anne had been quite curt with Mrs Warren when she last visited some months ago. ‘I wonder that she can be bothered with me when I haven’t seen her for so long.’

  ‘Real friends always rally round in emergencies. Besides, as I’m sure you already know, Mrs Warren has been nursing Mr Baines too, and has made him very comfortable. But sadly I don’t think he’ll be with us for much longer, he’s sinking fast.’

  All at once Anne realized that Nell had been to Wick Farm to see Baines. Undoubtedly she felt it was inappropriate that the mistress of Briargate should be nursed in spartan conditions at her brother’s farm while her butler lay in luxury. Anne guessed she had raised this matter and given Mrs Warren no option but to extend an invitation to her too.

  Anne didn’t want to go anywhere on sufferance, and the suspicion that Nell might be more than a housekeeper to Angus was back in the forefront of her mind.

  ‘Poor Baines,’ she said, aware she had a position to maintain at all costs, and in any case she was genuinely fond of the old man. ‘He shouldn’t have had to end his days this way.’

  ‘He’ll pass on happily if he can see you first,’ Nell said crisply, going over to the doorway to a bag she’d left there, and drawing out a black dress and some crisp white petticoats. ‘Mrs Warren sent these for you. Now, up you get and I’ll help you dress.’

  Anne shuddered at wearing clothes that weren’t her own, yet at the same time there was something very soothing about having Nell dressing her again. She’d thought of everything: a chemise, stays, petticoats, even a pair of padded slippers large enough to go over the bandages on her feet. Once she was dressed, Nell turned her attention to her hair, brushing it carefully and fixing it in a neat chignon at the nape of her neck.

  ‘That’s better,’ she said, tweaking the ruffle around the neckline of the dress. ‘You look like my lady again.’

  Anne felt that remark held real affection, and although it didn’t exactly allay her niggling suspicions, she felt it would be expedient to give Nell a long overdue apology. ‘I’m so sorry, Nell,’ she blurted out. ‘You deserved so much better than the way I treated you. Tell me, is the Captain a good master?’

  Nell half-smiled. ‘The very best! But I fear he’ll be off again soon with his soldiering, there seems to be trouble brewing with Russia.’

  ‘Surely our troops won’t have to go to that?’ Anne said. William had mentioned something about the Turks and Russians having a dispute just a few days ago, but it hadn’t sounded serious.

  ‘It seems to me that any trouble anywhere in the world calls for our army,’ Nell said. ‘But come now, the Warrens’ coachman is waiting. Amy and Matt will come along to visit you in a day or two.’

  ‘How was she?’ Angus asked the moment Nell came through the door late that same afternoon. Nell got the impression he’d been pacing up and down the hall waiting for her return.

  The passing years had been kind to Angus. At forty-seven he was still as lean, straightbacked and handsome as he had been when Nell first met him. Even a touch of grey hair at his temples only served to make him look more distinguished.

  ‘She looks fragile and deeply shocked,’ Nell replied as she took off her bonnet. ‘But she’s unhurt apart from the sore feet she got walking to Matt’s without any shoes.’

  ‘Come in by the fire and have a glass of wine with me,’ Angus said, taking her cape and hanging it up with her bonnet. ‘Did you persuade Mrs Warren to take her in?’

  Nell nodded. ‘She sorted out some clothes for her too. She was very kind, but then she is a good woman.’

  ‘And Baines? How is he?’

  Nell shrugged. ‘Poorly. But he was very pleased to see me. Maybe he will get better with complete rest and good food. I don’t think he has had either in the last few years. But I can’t help but hope he’ll just slip away quietly in his sleep – all that lies ahead for old servants is the workhouse.’

  Angus took her arm, drew her over to a chair by the fire and poured her a glass of wine. ‘You are not going to end your days in the workhouse,’ he said reprovingly.

  Nell pursed her lips. ‘I hope not, but then I expect Baines imagined he’d see his days out in Briargate. It doesn’t seem possible that it’s gone. I looked across the fields from Woolard – you used to be able to see the house from there – and it looked right eerie with it gone.’

  ‘And how was Lady Harvey with you?’ he asked.

  ‘Uppity as always,’ Nell said, pulling a face. ‘She did apologize to me for the past, but I don’t think she liked to see me so…’ She broke off, not knowing how to explain what she meant.

  ‘Well cared for?’ Angus prompted.

  Nell nodded. ‘She looked at me with great suspicion. But perhaps I should have worn something older and more suitable for my station.’

  Angus chuckled. ‘You are my housekeeper, Nell, your clothes reflect your position. I hope you told her I have a maid now too, and that thanks to you I have a home I am proud to entertain in.’

  Nell blushed. The Captain was always so appreciative of all she did for him, and it made him a joy to work for. In her first two years here she had undertaken everything that needed doing to turn a ramshackle place into a home suitable for a gentleman. She had whitewashed walls, scrubbed floors, made curtains, dug and planted out the garden, and found tradesmen to do the tasks which were beyond her. She hadn’t expected praise, it was reward enough to have a position again, and the hard work prevented her from brooding too long on Hope.

  But when the Captain came home from his soldiering he missed nothing. He would smile and pat her cheek when he saw the rows of her preserves in the pantry; he would chuckle as he got into bed on a cold night to find a hot brick already in there warming it. He claimed meals she cooked were as good as banquets he’d attended
in the officers’ mess, and that no one had ever washed, pressed and mended his clothes so well. He said that all his friends envied him for having such an accomplished housekeeper and that they would poach her from him if they could.

  Nell pretended she believed this to be empty flattery, but she knew he was sincere, and that knowledge had helped her confidence enormously. She’d never had a chance before to show what she could do as her whole life had been spent taking orders, and it was a thrill to be trusted to make decisions, to plan menus, to buy any equipment or ingredients she needed. Even in her own home, Albert wouldn’t so much as allow her to rearrange the furniture without his permission. She’d got into the way of thinking that she was dull-witted, and that her opinions were of no value to anyone.

  *

  ‘Now, tell me all you learned about the fire,’ the Captain asked earnestly, clearly desperate for information. ‘Was it all as we’d been told?’

  They had got the news of the tragedy at third hand. Nell had been in the shop at Keynsham when she overheard two women gossiping about a fire. It was only when she heard one of them mention a farmer from Woolard that she really took notice, and interrupted them to ask which farm had caught fire.

  It transpired that the older of the two women was the doctor’s cook, and she explained that one of the Renton lads had called early that morning to fetch the doctor. She said that the fire was at Briargate and that Sir William Harvey had died in it, but that was the extent of her knowledge.

  Nell had been so horrified she ran straight home without buying the groceries she’d gone for. She sobbed out the story to the Captain and he immediately rode down to Compton Dando to find out more. It was a terrible shock to hear that Albert had set the fire and the police were searching for him, but Nell took some little pride in hearing that Matt had bravely rescued Baines and Lady Harvey.

  Nell was dead set on going straight to the farm, but Angus wouldn’t let her. He said she must wait and let Lady Harvey recover a little. He pointed out that some people might take a too speedy arrival as evidence she was pleased to be proved right about Albert.

  ‘If Matt hadn’t seen Albert leaving Briargate just before it went up, it would have looked like an accident,’ Nell explained, for Amy had related everything she knew. ‘In the study where it started they found the remains of an oil lamp on the floor. Lady Harvey might have forgotten to put it out when she went to bed, and it could have toppled over in a draught. But the policeman who was investigating it thinks Albert put a burning ember on the hearthrug, then put the lamp on the floor so the oil would run out and catch fire. Maybe he even scattered the oil around too so it would catch books and papers.’

  Angus tutted. ‘But what on earth made him do such a thing? The men in the village said it didn’t make sense to burn the place down as he’d lose his job.’

  ‘It seems Sir William and Lady Harvey had told him that morning that he’d got to leave,’ Nell said. ‘He would have been very angry about that; he loved the garden and thought of it as his.’

  Even after everything Albert had done to her and however much she hated him, she could still put herself in his shoes. He had laboured on that garden, turned it into a thing of beauty, and no doubt he had expected he would end his days taking care of it.

  ‘What reason did she give for dismissing him?’ Angus frowned. ‘He ran the place by all accounts.’

  ‘She said they couldn’t bear him around any more,’ Nell said with a shrug. ‘She said Albert had been intimidating them both for years and they’d had enough.’

  Nell hadn’t had the heart to question Lady Harvey further for she’d started sobbing her heart out and saying all kinds of foolishness, like it was God’s vengeance for her adultery. She kept apologizing to Nell too, and saying that she hadn’t really taken it in about Hope being her child until it was too late.

  ‘Maybe they could no longer afford to keep him on,’ Angus said thoughtfully. ‘It’s no secret they were in strained circumstances. But what of Rufus? Has he been sent for?’

  ‘Amy said that Reverend Gosling wrote to him to break the news,’ Nell said. ‘He also sent word to Lady Harvey’s sisters. I expect they will come within a day or two.’

  ‘Howold is Rufus now?’

  ‘Only nineteen.’ Nell’s eyes filled with tears. ‘The poor boy! What will become of him?’

  ‘As I understood it, he has money in trust for him from his maternal grandfather,’ Angus said evenly. ‘And by all accounts he is a level-headed, intelligent young man, so he’ll be all right, though it will be a terrible blow losing his father. Did your brother say when the funeral will be?’

  Nell shook her head.

  ‘I suppose that will be arranged when Rufus gets here,’ Angus said. ‘Meanwhile, let’s hope they catch Albert. He’ll be hanged for this, Nell, and that will at least set you free to marry again.’

  ‘Sir!’ Nell gasped in horrified surprise.

  Angus half-smiled. ‘Is that such a terrible thought? You are a comely woman, Nell, with the kinds of skills any man would wish for in a wife. You are still young enough to bear a child too.’

  ‘I couldn’t marry again,’ she answered indignantly. ‘I wouldn’t want to be under any man’s thumb.’

  ‘Ah, Nell,’ he sighed. ‘You and I have both been bruised by love, but maybe we should both put it behind us and try again?’

  ‘You should,’ she said stoutly. ‘Remember Lady Harvey is now free!’

  Even as she made that remark she regretted it, for to speak of such a thing before Sir William was even in his grave was very disrespectful.

  But to her surprise Angus did not pull her up for it, all he did was look at her with sad eyes. ‘I do not feel that way any longer,’ he said. ‘My love faded when she treated you so badly. All I feel for her now is sympathy, as you would for any old friend.’

  So many times over the years, Nell had been sorely tempted to tell him that Hope was his child. It would have soothed her grief if she could share the secret; he might even have been persuaded to order an investigation into what happened to her. But she’d refrained from the temptation purely because of the promise she’d given Lady Harvey.

  She was tempted again now for she couldn’t believe Angus had stopped loving Lady Harvey. He was a very eligible bachelor; gentry with unmarried female relatives in both Bath and Bristol were always inviting him to parties and dinners. He would often laughingly tell her about ladies who’d made it obvious they hoped he’d become their beau, but though he was gallant, flirtatious and often genuinely liked these ladies, he formed no romantic attachments with any of them.

  Once, when he’d had too much to drink, he’d revealed how deeply he’d loved Anne. He said it had torn him apart knowing she was another man’s wife. Before Rufus was born he had asked her to run away to America with him. She had turned him down, and he felt it was because she loved her title too much, and that she couldn’t face a life without servants, money and fine clothes.

  Nell couldn’t agree with that entirely. It would take exceptional courage for a woman of quality to face the condemnation of leaving her husband for another man. And Sir William wasn’t a cruel man like Albert; Anne had loved him too. Nell had seen the depth of that love today for Anne had sobbed as she related how she tried to wake her husband up while Matt was getting Baines out.

  ‘The fault was all mine,’ she had cried. ‘If I’d only told Matt about the back staircase straight away, or got him to pull William out while I went to get Baines! I was pathetic, Nell; I just panicked and acted like a frightened child. Now I’ve lost my dearest friend.’

  *

  ‘Have you considered that when Albert is caught, Hope might come back?’ Angus said, breaking into Nell’s reverie.

  Nell’s head jerked up; suddenly she was alert again. ‘Why would she?’

  Angus shrugged. ‘As I’ve always maintained, it’s far more likely that he forced her to leave Briargate than that he killed her. Once he is locked up he can’t hur
t her or you.’

  Nell’s eyes began to shine with hope. ‘I hadn’t thought that way. But she might be so far away she won’t hear of this!’

  ‘Murder of an aristocrat is newsworthy,’ Angus said. ‘The story made The Times today, even pushing news of the impending war against Russia from the front page. Hope is likely to hear of it, wherever she is.’

  Chapter Nineteen

  ‘We’ll be frozen solid if we stay out on deck much longer,’ Bennett reminded Hope.

  ‘But doctor, it’s healthier up here than down below,’ she said with a grin. ‘Or do you want to have your wicked way with me again?’ She didn’t really want to go down to their tiny cabin, not yet. The wind and sea spray were so exhilarating and the vastness of the sea astounded her. It was also blissful to be away from people for a while.

  Of course she wasn’t including Bennett in that, she thought she could spend every hour of every day with him without feeling irritated or bored. But then he had a wonderful talent for sensing when she wanted to be quiet, or if she was in the mood for noise and chatter. Hope thought he was probably the most perfect husband in the whole world.

  At times she had despaired of them ever getting married, for it was four years since her eighteenth birthday when he’d bought her the engagement ring. He’d told her that day that he was thinking about becoming a regimental doctor, but she hadn’t taken it very seriously. Yet he had been serious – just six months later he joined the illustrious Rifle Brigade as an assistant surgeon, and she thought she might lose him then for his regiment kept moving – Winchester, Canada and finally off to South Africa for the Kaffir war – making it impossible to see him.

  Hope moved to Bristol’s new General Hospital in Guinea Street to nurse there. Bennett wrote to her constantly, funny, warm letters which made her love for him grow even stronger. But the post was slow and unreliable, especially once he was in South Africa, so sometimes months went past without one letter, then six or seven might arrive all at once.