Beginning with Forever

by Lan LLP

  He looks panicked from my reaction which never happens because he’s normally calm and collected. “Um…I’m renting this place for our visit here,” he replies unconvincingly, avoiding my eyes.

  “I can’t imagine how much this would set someone back to rent.” I give him a doubtful look. I already feel inferior to his status, and this knocks me down a few more notches. He has all of this and probably much more and all I have to offer him is just my simple self. The scale is definitely tipped in his favor. I’m starting to wonder what he sees in me when he can have any woman he wants. I’ve never been this insecure about myself, and it’s bugging the heck out of me.

  Each room is beautifully decorated with a modern and minimalistic flair. I like the open spacious floor plan. The complete lack of vibrant colors and a total white wash of the surrounding gives this place a clean and sterile ambience. He was absolutely right about the spectacular panoramic view of the city and the endless stretch of lake water. It’s much more remarkable than the postcard picture I bought for Amelia from the airport. After witnessing this view, I can now appreciate the paleness that surrounds us within the condo. The rich, warm explosion of colors and lively energy from the outside balances the white and placidity on the inside. I’m careful to keep my distance from the window as I soak in all the beauty below me. I look straight out and avoid the down direction altogether.

  “How are you feeling?” His warm, deep voice caresses my anxiety. I’m not sure if he’s asking about my hangover, fear of heights or my reaction to this really posh place or all three. He opens his arms, welcoming me, and I readily accept, being so needy of him.

  “Much better now, thanks.” I nestle cozily into his chest and listen to the even rhythmic sound of his thumping heart.

  “I have a meeting with the event planners. Will you be okay without me for a few hours?” he asks with worrying brows and serious eyes. Deep down inside, I’m disappointed that he has to leave me already. Stop being selfish, you’re here to support him and his cause; it’s not always about you, Lily. This was the only way he was able to persuade me to come here with him and spend all this money. He also tried to convince me that he wasn’t able to find a willing date for the event, so I had to come with him. I have a hard time believing a gorgeous man like him would have any trouble finding a willing date.

  “Yes, of course. I’ll take in some sightseeing. I haven’t been here in years, so it’ll be fun to see all the changes,” I pertly respond, trying to mask my disappointment.

  “Please be home around 7:00 p.m. I’ll be back to pick you up for dinner, so be safe and don’t get lost in this big city or it’ll swallow you whole.” He looks at me sternly.

  “No worries, I can handle myself.” My eyes return his stare with the same depth of severity.

  “And one more thing, stay warm. I don’t want you to get sick and be out of commission.” He winks and gives me that killer smile that never fails to buckle my knees. “I have a few weather appropriate outfits hanging in the master bedroom closet for you, please use them. That’s not a request either!” His smile disappears and is replaced with wry, pursed lips and stern eyes, enforcing his order. I now understand why he had asked me to pack light. Carson is annoyingly generous. I think he’s forgotten our talk about not spending money lavishly on me. He’ll have to see how stubborn this girl can get. I won’t accept any of it. Well, maybe just a winter coat since it’s awfully cold out there.

  He takes two steps away and pulls me back into his arms for another kiss. His silky tongue invites itself into my yearning mouth. Tingling sensation runs deep through my body within seconds. Carson has a clever way of making me crave for him every time he’s not with me. This is exactly what he’s doing to me right now, leaving me the lingering, sweet taste of his kiss, so I won’t stop thinking about him while he’s gone. “It’s not fair of you to kiss me like this and then leave me alone for a few hours.” I purposely look up to him with puppy eyes, coaxing him.

  “I’ll make it up to you tonight, sweetness.” He traces the pad of his thumb across my lower lip.

  “I look forward to it,” I reply with more enthusiasm.

  “Me, too.” He releases me from his grip and walks out the door.

  This place is desolate without Carson. I have to get out of here, but first, I need a warmer jacket. The walk-in closet is immaculately organized with expensive tailored business suits, ties, casual clothes and shoes. I look to my right and see several feminine garment bags. These must be the outfits Carson has extravagantly bought for me. There are four different styles of coats hanging in here. Really? One is more than plenty. I start to question the evidences surrounding me. If this is a rental, why are all of his clothes already here?

  My curiosity goads me to do a little investigation around the condo before I head out. I unnecessarily tiptoe over to his home office like a spy. It’s not like anyone can hear me if I just walk. I see a picture of him at a marathon finish line, another one with him and an older couple, maybe his parents. The last one strikes my attention like a slap in the face. It’s a picture of Carson shaking hands with a man. I’m guessing he’s someone of great importance. There’s a gorgeous blonde woman next to him in the background with her arms tightly wrapped around his. Who the heck is this woman? I’m starting to get that same drowning jealous feeling in my gut again. Calm down. It’s probably someone from his past. I should learn to handle my jealousy better because this woman is just one of many.

  The doorbell unexpectedly rings and startles the heck out of me. I’m debating whether I should answer it. I don’t know any of his friends or family. I glance up at the security screen in his office and see the same woman in the picture. How freaking coincidental and extremely creepy. She’s standing in front of the door dressed in a slutty, low-cut, black mini-dress and high, silver, stiletto heels. Shit, there’s no stopping me from answering the door now. I want to know everything about her. I take a quick comparison glimpse in the mirror and see that I’m absolutely out of her league. My wavy, brown hair is sloppily pulled back in a ponytail, and my face is devoid of any makeup. Freak, this evening has completely shattered my confidence.

  My heart is beating fiercely while my hands tremble with anxiety as I open the door. “Hi, may I help you?” I ask.

  “I’m looking for Carson. Is he around? Who are you, a new housekeeper? I’ve never seen you before. I know he just arrived into town and would like to see if he’s available for dinner,” she speaks to me condescendingly with only conceit in her tone.

  “Mr. Bradley is not here, but he’ll be back in a few hours. Would you like to leave a message for him, Miss?” I respond with more depth and annoyance in my voice. I decide to go along with her housekeeper assumption to see if she’ll give me any more information about their relationship.

  “Will you let him know that his favorite blonde stopped by and was terribly disappointed that she didn’t get to give his usual welcome?” She playfully tousles her blonde hair and then stares at her perfectly, manicured, red nails as she waits for my response.

  “I will Miss. What is your name?” I irritatingly ask again.

  “Favorite Blonde,” she haughtily responds and struts away like a bitchy runway model, leaving me speechless and outrageously pissed off. Argh! I don’t like her already.

  What the hell was that all about? I don’t even know how to handle this situation. Why would she be looking for Carson if they didn’t still have something going on? The thought of them screwing each other makes me insanely jealous. I need to get out of here and walk this rage off. It’s cold outside, but I’m too angry with Carson at the moment to accept any of his coats. I stubbornly zip up my hooded sweatshirt and scamper out the condo. With my mind irrationally preoccupied, the elevator is no longer frightening to me. I ride it down fearlessly with no direction and aimlessly walk out the protective front doors of Carson’s penthouse building.

  It’s colder and more intimidating out here than I expect it to be. I’ve been hop
elessly walking for hours, not paying any attention to where I’m going because my mind has been consumed with thoughts of Carson and that blonde. I struggle to hold back my self-pity tears as I scan the area to see where I’m at. People give me weird glances as they pass me. I’m frozen and scared. How will I find my way home? I start to panic, and my cell phone coincidentally vibrates in my side pocket. I pull it out and see Carson’s face on the screen. “Where are you, Lil? I thought we agreed for you to be home by 7:00 p.m. It’s not safe for you to be out this late by yourself,” he lectures me, worried and concerned for my safety.

  “I’m not sure where I’m at. I just kept walking…,” I respond with my quivering voice.

  “Look around for a street sign or a landmark and tell me what it is. I’ll come get you. Stay put!” He demands. I glue my bottom to a bus bench and hug myself for warmth. Where’s all this insecurity coming from? All he’s done so far is demonstrate his devotion for me. I’m acting like an overly possessive, jealous girlfriend. This isn’t me at all. In my evening of weakness, I’ve allowed that blonde to destroy my psyche and confidence. I can’t let her ruin any more of my time with Carson.

  Carson rushes out of the cab and encloses his arms and a navy coat around trembling body. My teeth are chattering uncontrollably and my fingers are numb from the bone chilling weather. I eagerly accept his heated body against mine. “Can we go home?” I ask him, avoiding his piercing eyes.

  “Shit!” he yells and shakes his head. “You’re freezing cold! Why aren’t you wearing one of the coats I bought for you?” His eyes are angry and disappointed. I shrug my shoulders and provide no explanations. He’s perturbed, but not enough to push my buttons. Thank god, I don’t think I can handle another situation tonight. Being as observant as he is, I think he could sense that I’m dispirited about something and is probably giving me time to deal with it. I completely appreciate his thoughtfulness. He holds me tightly against his chest as we ride back in silence.

  Carson runs a warm bath for me as soon as we get back to the condo. He still doesn’t demand any explanations. His only concern is to warm me up. He undresses my shivering body and eases me into the welcoming, hot water. Ah… It feels so good. I’m served a steamy cup of green tea when he returns from the kitchen. Both my inside and outside are nice and toasty, thanks to my considerate lover. “Lily, what are you hungry for? I don’t think going out is an option for us tonight,” he considerately asks while conveniently sitting on the edge of the tub.

  “I’m sorry I spoiled your dinner plans. Anything is fine with me. In fact, I’m not all that hungry.” I couldn’t hide my guilt for ruining his evening. My appetite is gone.

  “Starvation is not an option. You need to eat. I’ll place an order and then join you in the tub,” he admonishes me and marches to his bedroom, robbing me of a chance to retort. That kind of overbearing attitude would normally piss me off, but in this context, I’ll assume it’s out of concern, not dominance.

  After a luxurious bubble bath with Carson washing all my tension away, we enjoyed a thin crust pizza with artichoke hearts from a local pizzeria on his kitchen bar. It’s light and yummy, unlike the traditional greasy pizzas I normally indulge in. Maybe this is why he’s so lean and fit. Carson enjoys his with a cold beer with a foreign name that I can’t even pronounce. Supposedly they’re rated as the ‘world’s best’ beer made by monks. He claims that he bought it for a good cause, to help the monks’ offset their renovation costs, but I personally think he lavishly enjoys reaping the rewards of his success.

  “How did your meeting go with the planners?” I inquire as I struggle to suppress my urge of asking him about the blonde who paid me a surprise visit that was intended for him. Since I’ve already ruined enough of his evening plans, I decide to save it for tomorrow. It drives me berserk imagining her offering him the usual welcome. Whatever the hell that means. Agitatedly, I bite my thumb nail. He sees me and gently draws my hand away from my mouth.

  “They know exactly what they’re doing. Everything is perfect. I should never have left you earlier today.” He lays his partially eaten slice of pizza down. “Baby, I think it’s time for me to make it up to you,” he croons in a seductive voice. This man knows precisely how to get to the point and wastes no time at all. “Are you finished with dinner? I’m certainly ready for dessert now.” He grins. I nod my head. Chugging down the rest of his beer, he grasps my wrist and tugs me in the direction of his bedroom.

  We end the evening with me completely pleasured and gasping for air as he completes round two. “Sweetness, your body is like an addiction for me. I need it to start my day, keep it going and end with it,” he softly groans into my ears after coming for the second time.

  ____________________

  Carson is rehearsing his speech in his office while I study my medical handbook in his bed. I can’t stop thinking about the sick kids at my hospital. I’m praying someone will discover the cause of what’s debilitating them. It breaks my heart to see them feeling so defeated. Carson promised me that he’ll look into it as soon as we get back to the island. I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

  After about an hour, he joins me in bed. “Lil, I have you booked with a team of stylists for tonight’s event,” he stalls, giving me a second to let it sink in. “Please try to enjoy it for me. I won’t see you for a few hours while they cater to your beautiful face and body,” he finishes with a big breath.

  “Just to let you know, I’m only agreeing to this because I know how important this charity is to you, but in the future, I won’t be so nice when it comes to spending your money foolishly.” I cross my arms in front of me and stare firmly into his eyes, letting him know that I’m not the least bit excited about wasting his money.

  He rolls his eyes at me and pulls me into his embrace. “Lily, you can be unbearably stubborn and lovable at the same time, but I can’t imagine you any other way.”

  ____________________

  The styling crew looks intimidating to me. They’re eagerly waiting to mold me into a piece of artwork, a challenge all on its own. Remee is my makeup artist and Francois is my hairstylist. Jez and Engelena are wardrobe and specialists for all the other beauty essentials. They appear to work cooperatively well together. Engelena waxed my entire body, even in places that I didn’t think hair existed. Ouch! Jez painted my nails a light nude color with white tips.

  Francois decided not to cut much of my hair. “Your hair is exceptionally beautiful and healthy. I’ll style it so everyone can appreciate the natural beauty of it,” he praises me in his French accent. He enhances my waves with jumbo hot rollers and lightly mists hairspray over it.

  I hardly ever wear makeup, so when Remee completed her masterpiece, my reflection in the mirror leaves me stunned. My eyes are hypnotically dark with enhanced lashes, staring back at me. She calls it the smoky eye look with shimmering purple and black shadow. My skin is kept naturally glowing with just a hint of rose petal blush on my cheek bones and my lips are lightly tinted with nude lip gloss. I probably made Remee feel so awkward with my rude staring while she worked on my face. She’s exotically beautiful with olive tone skin and deepest brown eyes and of course, her makeup is flawless. She appears possibly Asian, but has a Hispanic accent, intriguing me in a delightful way.

  Engelena excitedly rolls a hanging rack with a black garment bag over to me to reveal my evening gown. She brags that it’s a Pucci haute couture gown designed especially for me. By the sound of her high pitched voice, I assume it’s a fashion privilege to have one of these unique gowns. There’s no doubt in my mind that Carson paid a handsome fee for it. Anything that’s paired with the words ‘haute couture’ is ridiculously expensive, according to Belle. I have to admit, it is truly captivating. It’s a black and purple asymmetric floor length dress with a lethal slit down the center. Engelena asks me to remove my gold necklace, so she can replace it with a large strand of amethyst rhinestones. She tells me that Carson picked it out especially for me. I hesitate briefly becaus
e I promised my mother that I’d never take it off. It’s just for a few hours. I persuade myself and then nod my head. She secures the latch behind my neck, and my new necklace is perfectly showcased between my breasts. It sparkles beautifully with purple amethysts and diamonds. Engelena hands me matching earrings to finish the look.

  I was left with specific instructions from Carson to wear a black lace bustier, panties, garter belt and thigh highs under my dress. Hmm, I wonder how he plans to the end the evening. I can’t wait to see him again.

  Chapter 14

  Lillian Ly

  My knees are nervously twitching up and down as I sit on the edge of my seat in Carson’s limo, alone. It’s only been a little over four hours, but I miss him like it’s been four days. I’ve never felt this glamorous in all my life, and I’m completely anxious about revealing my dull to fabulous makeover to Carson. Every time I’m with him, he makes me feel sexy and beautiful, so I’m driven to be all of that for him. Tonight I want him to see the stunning woman he always tells me I am. Gosh, just thinking about his reaction makes my heart pound with uncontainable excitement.

  My patience is wearing thin as I watch the limo driver slowly weave through Chicago’s congested traffic, to get me to Navy Pier. Time is extremely valuable to us. We only have till the end of this week and then Carson will return to his world without me. This crappy thought has been haunting me for the past three weeks now, and I’ve been struggling to push it out of my head. Separation shouldn’t be difficult for me since I’m used to being independent, but it is. I wish we could stretch our month out longer.