“I get it, and I felt the same way, but there’s a difference. Doing all of this for the man you love, and who you know loves you back, isn’t weak. You’re going to get hurt sometimes, but you need to remember that he isn’t trying to hurt you, or wanting to hurt you. He’s just protecting himself in the only way he knows how.”
“He doesn’t need to protect himself from me.”
“Are you sure about that? Because, I’m pretty sure you told him to leave this room.”
She’s right. I don’t want to face that I’ve been wrong, but if I expect him to do it, I have to as well.
“I also jumped to conclusions when he tried to talk to me.”
“Don’t beat yourself up, because these guys we love are hard. They’re worth it, but they’re hard. You have to be willing to learn how to push back for yourself, without sending them away at the same time.”
“What if I can’t?”
“Do you love him enough to try?”
I answer without hesitation, because I know it in my soul. “Yes.”
“Then, you can do it. Nate and Rhys aren’t the same person, so I can’t tell you how to do it, but you’ll figure that out yourself.”
“I will,” I tell her, maybe with a little more confidence than I feel right now.
I know I can do this, because I have to. Rhys tried reaching out to me, and I ruined it just as much as he did. We’re both to blame, but he’s actively working to make it better, while I’ve just waiting around, acting like I deserved to do nothing. I’m done with that now.
“Do you know if he’s still here today?”
Jade nods. “He’s sparring with Nate. He’s teaching him how to fight, and they work out together now.”
“Is there a video feed in there?”
“Why yes, there is,” she tells me, pulling it up on her tablet, and connecting to the TV in here so we can both watch. I’ve never wanted to watch two men fighting before, but I think I could get into this.
RHYS
“You’re getting better,” Nate tells me, as we both towel off after sparring for almost two hours.
“Thanks to you.”
He’s laughing as he picks up his phone, and then he turns to me with a smirk. “Our women were apparently watching us.”
“Huh?”
“You know there are cameras everywhere, and the Society women can check them whenever they want. Jade’s visiting Viv, and they decided it would be fun to watch us.”
“Viv watched me?”
“Yeah, and Jade said she’d like to see you if you’re up for it.”
I practically run for the door. “Catch you later, man. Thanks again!”
I can still hear him laughing as I make it to the elevator, pressing the down button impatiently. “Medical wing,” I say once I’m inside, since there’s no button for that.
“Go get your girl,” Ainsley says over the speaker, and I can hear the smile in her voice.
“I’m trying.”
Kendrick is waiting for me when I walk out, looking stoic, which is normal, but gives me no idea of what he’s going to say. His posture relaxes as I approach him, so it can’t be too bad.
“Hello, Rhys.”
“Hi.”
“She wants to see you, but she’s still recovering. I’m aware of the rocky relationship you share, and I just want you to try not to upset her too much.”
“I’m not planning on upsetting her at all.”
He nods. “We never are, but I believe you’ll be gentle with her. Go on in.”
I clasp his shoulder briefly as I walk by, silently thanking him. Viv’s door is open, and I hear her laughing with Jade when I step into the doorway. Her eyes go a little wide, and she smiles when she sees me.
“I think you forgot your shirt.”
I look down, and realize she’s right. “Sorry. Nate said you wanted to see me, so I ran right down.”
“I wasn’t complaining,” she says, and then winces. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
Yes, she should say that. She should say whatever she wants to say. “Jade, would you mind letting us talk for a few minutes alone?”
“Not at all. See you later, Viv.”
“Thanks for everything.”
“No problem,” she says, stopping at my side before she walks out. “Listen to everything she says, and try not to run.”
“I will.”
Once she’s gone, I close the door, leaning against it for a moment, before I turn back to Viv. There’s so much between us, and I know we can scale the mountain if we work together, but I don’t know if she’s ready to climb with me.
“I’m sorry.”
Her words cause me to turn around, and see her looking like she owes me something. “Why are you apologizing to me?”
“Because I’m not blameless in this. I hurt you.”
“Not as much as I hurt you.”
“This isn’t a competition. At least I don’t want it to be. Not unless we’re on the same team.”
“I’d be the star player on your team.”
“Ditto.”
She picks at her blanket for a moment, before meeting my eyes again. “There’s a rumor going around that you might want to go steady or something. With me.”
“There’s no might about it. It was stupid of me to ask you to just be friends with me, when I want more.”
“You weren’t wrong when you said how good of friends we were.”
“No, but we didn’t hold hands, or kiss, back then, and I really want to do those things with you. I want more, and I hope I’ll be ready to try that soon, but I need to kiss you.”
“I’m ready with my answer if you want to ask me.”
I can’t help but smirk, although there’s nothing fake about this one. “Vivs, will you be my girlfriend?”
“Yes, but only if you kiss me now.”
“I’ve missed you so much,” I tell her, sitting on the edge of her bed, and cupping her face in my hands.
This time when I kiss her, I treat it like it’s our first, because it is. It’s the first time I’ve kissed her as my girlfriend. She was secretly that years ago, but now we don’t have to hide. We won’t ever hide again.
I kiss her softly, and sweetly. Small kisses all over her lips to let her know how much she means to me. She grips my shoulders as she does the same, and soon we’re laughing in between the pecks on the mouth.
“This reminds me of the past. The good past,” she tells me, touching her forehead to mine while we catch our breath.
“It’s the good future.”
“Cheesy, but accurate.”
I kiss her again, because I can, and this time we put a little more passion into it. Not a lot, but a little. Out tongues touch, but don’t explore. The best part of it all is that I’m not freaked out by any of it. Kissing Viv is more intimate than what we did in Cardiff, and I’m okay with it. Better than okay, if I’m being honest, and the hope I keep losing a grip on has come back to me.
CHAPTER 18
VIV
I’m getting released today, and I can’t wait. Rhys is picking me up, and we’re having that movie date—which really is a date now—that we missed when I got shot. I’m looking through the clothes Stella brought for me, when Reina stops by with some news I’m not ready for.
“Your parents just invited Matt and I to a gala in two weeks. The invite says you’ll be in attendance.”
“The invite is wrong.”
“Normally, I would agree with you, but this time, I’m going to ask you to go.”
“Can you give me a good reason to?”
“Rhys told us about how he was forced to walk away from you because someone was threatening your life. I’m not one to let something like that go, and I’m pretty sure the woman who’s behind it all will be there. Seeing you and Rhys together is going to make her angry, and she might be reckless enough that we can catch her legally. If not, I’ll still deal with her, but this would be more damaging to both her and C
hriston.”
“Two birds, huh?”
“Something like that.”
“Well, if Rhys is up for it, sure, we can go.”
“Perfect. And just so you know, you’ll be protected at all times. Both of you.”
“I didn’t want to ask, but it’s definitely a concern.”
“Do you want to talk about it to him, or should I?”
“I’ll do it. He’s not going to like it, but I think he’ll do it for me.”
“Good, because his parents are also going to be there, too, and the intel we’ve gathered points to them being in on it too.”
“Why am I not surprised? Do other people have parents who want money and power more than they want their children healthy and alive.”
“Yes, but that’s why we’re here.”
“The world needs you more than they know.”
“I’m not going to disagree with you on that.”
“I hear you’ve got a date tonight so I’m going to head back to my office, but we’ll talk more tomorrow.”
“I do, and yes. I’ll be here.”
She walks out the door, and I go back to looking at the dresses. I thought some were too dressy for our date, but now I realize they’ll work for the party. Stella knew, and sent them before I even said yes. I’d be offended if it didn’t mean she trusted me to make the right choice, which I know I did.
I pick out a dress for tonight that has a graphic of the Beatles crossing Abbey Road covering it. It’s just the right balance between flirty and fun. For the party, I choose a dress I was drawn to immediately. It’s a little too fun for me to have worn in my old life, but it’s perfect for the life I’m living now. I can’t wait to finally walk into one of these things on the arm of the man I love.
“Hey, Beautiful,” that man says when he walks into my room a little later. He’s got on jeans and a button-down shirt, and looks amazing, as always.
“Hi.”
“I can’t believe we’re finally going on a real date. I mean, it’s only taken us about a decade.”
“Better late than never.”
“Yes, it is.”
He takes my small overnight bag and the garment bag with my dress in one hand, and holds his other one out to me. I squeeze his hand as he kisses me on the cheek.
“I’m really hoping you’re the kind of girl who won’t mind a kiss at her door, even though it’s our first date.”
“Actually, I’m the kind of girl who’s hoping you’re going to kiss me long before we get to my front door.”
“I think that can be arranged.”
“Yeah?”
“Definitely.”
He pulls me to him, and our lips meet like they belong together, which they do. Unlike the last few days, this kiss is passionate, and full of need. I start to pull back, because I’m afraid it’s too much, but Rhys just pulls me closer, nibbling on my lips, and running his free hand all over my back as I finger the sexy indentations at his waist. Our clothes are on, but we’re definitely making out right now, and he seems okay with it.
“You okay?” I ask, forcing my lips from his, because I have to be sure.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been more okay in my life.”
“We’re going to miss the movie if we don’t stop.”
“If it wasn’t our first date, I’d be okay with that. But, I want to do this right with you.”
Swoon. Okay, yeah, we’ve had our problems, and some of them are going to be with us for a lot longer than either of us wants, but this right here is why I can’t walk away, or give up on Rhys. The rest of the world has always seen a cocky rogue, but all I can see is the sweet and loving man who’s always protected me, even when I didn’t know it.
We hold hands as we walk out of the hospital ward, and into the elevator. Rhys helps me into his sleek BMW, and I find a bunch of white roses on the seat. I smile, remembering when we were kids, and Rhys brought me a white rose for our first “unofficial” date. He didn’t think my mother would notice one flower gone from her prized bushes, but she did. The next day, she almost fired the groundskeeper, but Rhys came forward, and said it was just a prank.
“Did you steal these too?”
“No, but if we were close to your parents’ place, I would’ve.”
Now is when I should tell him about the party, but I don’t want to ruin this night we’ve both waited so long for. “I love you, Rhys. So much.”
“I love you too, Vivs.”
RHYS
“Remember, you have to stay calm,” I tell X, as we make our way to Lennon’s office in the C&C building.
He agreed to meet with us, but Camari insisted on being there too. If X freaks out, or goes for her man, it’s going to end badly for everyone.
“I just need him to tell me what he knows.”
“You already know she’s okay, since you caught her video chatting with Micah the other day.”
“I need to know more than that. I need to know when she’s coming back.”
I don’t tell him I’m pretty sure coming back isn’t in her plans, because he’s on the verge of madness right now. He’s got the scraggly beard, the wrinkled clothes, and the crazy eyes of someone who’s losing it, because he is. Lennon needs to help him, but I’m not sure if he will.
Camari opens the door when X knocks, and I’m not surprised to see Matt is also in the room when we enter. To say things have been strained between him and X would be an understatement.
“You’re going to be civil, and listen to what Lennon has to say.”
“We both know you need me more than I need you, Matthew, so quit trying to play boss.”
“I’m fairly certain hiring you was the worst mistake I’ve ever made in my professional life, so don’t try and threated me, Xavier.”
“Enough with the alpha male bullshit,” Camari tells them. “Ask what you came to ask, X, and then all of you can leave.”
Lennon smiles, and shrugs his shoulders when I look at him, and I think I might need to get to know him better. He’s comfortable with his place in this room, and doesn’t mind his girlfriend protecting him. Those are two things I need to work on in my own life.
“Lennon, I need you to tell me where Seri is,” X says, managing to stay calm while he says it.
“No.”
“Excuse me?” And there goes the calm.
“She’s one of my best friends, and she doesn’t want you to know where she is, so I’m not going to tell you.”
“You have to know how worried we are about her,” Matt interjects, looking between the two men like he’s trying to figure out whose side to be on.
“She’s okay, but she’s not coming back.”
“She has to come back!” X yells, before falling into one of the chairs. “She has to. I can’t do this without her.”
“Can’t what? Work?”
“Live. I can’t live without her.”
“Maybe you should’ve made that clear to her.”
“I know. I know I fucked up, and I want to fix it.”
“You’re going to have to give her time. She’s hurting, and trying to protect herself.”
“Please, Lennon. I don’t have time. I’m only getting out of bed every day because my son needs me, but it’s getting harder and harder to remember that.”
“I’ll tell her, but I wouldn’t count on it.”
“Then give her these.”
He pulls a stack of papers from inside his rumpled jacket, and holds them out to Lennon. I have no clue what he’s doing, but I know it can’t be good. Lennon takes them, and opens them, his eyes going wide.
“You want her to have custody of Micah?”
Whoa. Matt and I look at each other, our jaws dropped. X loves his kid more than anything.
“Yes. I’m not functioning, and he can tell. It’s starting to affect him in a negative way.”
“I don’t…you can’t…are you sure?” Lennon asks, fumbling for the right thing to say.
“Yes.”
He walks out of the room as we all stare after him. Matt is the first one to react, leaning over the desk to look Lennon in the eyes.
“I’m not his biggest fan right now, but I never expected this. You have to get Seri to at least contact him. She’s completely broken him. He’d never send Micah away if it wasn’t bad.”
“I know. Oh God, I know.”
I turn to see Seri walking out of the closet in the corner. She looks as destroyed as X does, and tears are currently running down her cheeks, as she rocks back and forth.
“Seri,” Matt says, rushing to her side.
“What have I done?”
“Nothing that can’t be fixed.”
“You’re wrong, Matt. Like you said, he’s giving me his son, because I broke him.”
“Come back, and make it better.”
She nods, wiping her eyes, and straightening her shoulders. “I’m back. Can you fill me in on the new projects, Rhys? I know X is giving you more responsibility.”
“Yeah, he is, and I can definitely give you the info.”
I’m in a little shock over the instant change in her demeanor, but I welcome it. The temp assistant is nice, but she’s not Seri. She also looks at X like he’s hung the moon, which he completely ignores, but is still annoying. I miss the verbal sparring Seri brought with her, if only because it kept me entertained back then, when I wasn’t getting any work to do.
“Let’s go. I need to get to him sooner, rather than later.”
“Of course.”
I don’t even know what’s happening right now, but it’s crazier than what I’ve got going on. Like, seriously, these two make my problems seem much smaller than I thought they were. They aren’t, but they feel like it when I see the devastation on both of their faces.
I give her the info she needs, and then we’re on our floor, and the elevator doors are opening. You could hear a pin drop as I trail behind her through the cubicles in the middle of the floor. X is standing at the temp assistant’s desk, but he turns when the room goes silent, and drops the papers in his hands.
Defiant Company (Company Men Book 5) Page 11