Jay laughed. “And you’re a winner, too.”
“Damn right I am. You wouldn’t even have been playing in this tournament, or playing doubles at all, without me.” She spun back to Destiny so quickly her wine nearly sloshed out of the glass in her hand. “What did I always tell you when you were growing up?”
“Just trust Mommy,” Destiny said, with a hint of a smirk.
“Why?”
Des rolled her eyes. “Because Mommy knows things.”
“You bet she does.” Sadie threw back her head and laughed. God, it felt good. The worry had weighed on her for so long. Every loss had caused the whispers to hiss through her ears. Maybe it was too soon. Maybe Des was too young. Maybe she wasn’t mature enough or strong enough. Maybe Sadie hadn’t prepared her well enough, or maybe Sadie couldn’t possibly parent her through something so far out of her own experience. Well, perhaps the last part was still partially true, but the other shadows of doubt had been vanquished. Destiny did belong in the big leagues, and she’d proven herself worthy both on and off the court today. Parenting achievement unlocked.
“You guys were magnificent.” She sighed happily as she sank onto the edge of the bed. “Your match, your press conference, all the hoopla afterwards. Perfect.”
“They really were,” Hank agreed, as he exited the bathroom. “You unleashed a barrage of serve-and-volley that might have taken down Fort Knox. I never even worried.”
Everyone laughed.
“What?” he asked.
“You totally worried,” Destiny said. “I thought you might faint when we lost the second-set tiebreaker.”
“No,” he bellowed. “I knew you’d come back.”
“Oh yeah?” Jay asked. “Let me see your fingernails.”
He quickly jammed his hands into his pockets, and they all roared with laughter again.
“It’s okay,” Jay said kindly. “All’s well that ends well.”
“Exactly.” Sadie sipped her wine, pleased to see Jay smiling and joking again. “And today ended very well.”
“But today is only the beginning,” Hank said.
“The beginning of my week off,” Destiny said, as she flopped onto the bed next to Sadie.
“Are you sure you don’t want to play in Strasbourg?” Hank asked. “Might be fun.”
“No!” Both Jay and Destiny shouted at once.
Hank held up his hands. “Okay, don’t shoot. I just thought we could keep rolling.”
“You thought you could roll me to an early grave,” Jay said, but her smile only grew brighter. “We both qualified for French in singles and doubles. What more could we ask for?”
“Better tournament seeds, more money, a chance to warm an old man’s heart and—”
“Hank!” Sadie scolded. “This is a party, and I’m actually with them, on this point anyway. A week to recuperate in Paris will be good for all of us, body and soul.”
“Fine.” Hank pretended to pout, but even he couldn’t stay down for long. “I guess they earned it.”
They’d earned a lot, Sadie thought. About sixty grand each when it was all said and done. She could pay Hank’s cut, their taxes, and still have plenty left over for two months’ worth of travel and accommodations even with Destiny choosing to take her own hotel room. More importantly, though, both Des and Jay had earned a great deal of respect. She could see it in the way other players approached them at dinner. So many of them seemed both genuinely pleased and concerned for Jay. They all wanted her to do well, just not too well against them.
The sponsors seemed to take notice too, and it hadn’t just shown in the form of more requests for autographs and selfies. Several people had inquired about Destiny’s advertising commitments, and a few of them had asked Sadie for her business card. She didn’t even have business cards. A new set of doubts threatened to overtake her, but she washed them down with another generous swig of wine.
“Good vino?” Jay asked from her perch atop the hotel-style desk.
“We’re in Italy, aren’t we?” Sadie asked, noticing for the first time the subtle spread of heat from her chest up into her face. Had the alcohol taken hold to a greater extent than she realized, or was that the effect of Jay’s proximity?
She looked so different than she had before the match. Some color had returned to her complexion, and her pale, parched lips had been smoothed over with a neutral shade of gloss. She’d combed back her hair so it flipped up ever so slightly at the curve of her neck and left her sparkling blue eyes completely unshadowed. She’d changed into more formal attire for the post-tournament reception, but even in a cream-colored suit over a lavender shell, she still managed to look more casual than she had in weeks. Sadie’s heart beat faster, reminding her of the first time she’d seen Jay in the Australian Open press conference. Knowing what she now did about her personality only amplified her physical appeal.
Perhaps the combination should have worried her, but she preferred Jay’s allure to the anguish she’d seen flare up in those expressive eyes when the reporters alluded to her past this morning. It had taken everything Sadie had in her not to beg Jay to share that pain, to let her help soothe it. Only her own experiences had given her the understanding and the faith necessary to respect that such hard truths couldn’t be pried from someone. Still, she had reached out, desperate to make a connection that would allow Jay the freedom and the security to turn to her if she were ever ready.
“Mom,” Destiny said. “Earth to Mom.”
“What?” She looked around the room as everyone stared at her expectantly.
“Hank asked if the wine was cheaper here.”
She glanced at the glass she’d forgotten she held. “Oh yes. Very much. Cheaper than tea, even, so who am I to waste hard-earned dollars on tea when there’s a more economical alternative?”
Hank chuckled as he settled down on the floor, his long legs stretched out in front of him. “No one could ever accuse you of irresponsible accounting.”
Destiny shook her head. “She’s the budget police.”
“Hey, I let you have your own room tonight, didn’t I?”
Destiny laughed. “Yes, you did. At seventeen and a half, and months after making the professional tour, you finally let me sleep in my own hotel room only after winning my first tournament.”
“If you’re going to get sassy about having your own room,” Sadie said playfully, “I still have the right to send you there for a time-out.”
“No need,” Destiny replied with a yawn. “I’ll go willingly.”
“To throw a wild party of your own?” Jay asked.
“Yes,” Destiny said. “I’m going to jump on the bed for exactly two minutes to prove I can, then I’m going to fall down on all of the many pillows I get completely to myself. Then I’m going to sleep for two days.”
“That does sound like the best party ever.” Jay echoed Destiny’s yawn.
“No,” Sadie whined. “You can’t leave me all alone while I’m so hyped up. Hank, you aren’t fading, are you?”
They all turned to Hank, who was sitting on the floor with his back to the wall and his chin to his chest, a light snore rumbling through his throat.
“Oh, come on, guys,” Sadie pleaded. “This is our first professional win.”
“The first of many,” Destiny said soothingly, as she collected her phone and purse. “We’ll have lots more to celebrate down the road . . . after we sleep.”
“Yeah,” Jay added. “We have to pace ourselves. Besides, we’re going to Paris. Think of all the parties we can have there. We have to rest up from this party to get ready for those.”
Sadie shook her head and pointed at her. “Don’t think I don’t see right through you, Ms. Pierce.”
Jay’s smile softened. “I wouldn’t dare. You’ve already proved you’ve got my number, well beyond what I’m comfortable with.”
Destiny turned to looked at them, her usually smooth brow furrowed with something akin to worry, but Jay pulled her attention awa
y by hopping off the desk. “And on that note, I’m going to make my break for it. Des, you create a diversion, and I’ll grab Hank on my way out.”
Destiny’s expression softened, but she didn’t quite smile. “Leave Hank. Save yourself.”
“I like the way you think.” Jay headed for the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Sleep in,” Destiny said. “No matter what my mother tells you, we do not have to be at the airport until three. You’re in no way obligated to attend a celebratory brunch, or lunch, or tour of the Colosseum.”
“Good to know,” Jay called as she left the room.
Sadie watched her go, feeling a subtle drop in her stomach that she wrote off as a letdown at the night ending so soon. She turned to make another appeal to her daughter, only to find her trying to rouse Hank.
“Come on, big guy. Night’s over, but I’m way too tired to lift you.”
Sadie sighed. “Don’t worry about him. I’ll be up for a while. I’m sure he’ll want to find his own bed eventually.”
“Thanks. Are you sure you’ll be okay alone tonight?”
She forced a smile. “I won’t be alone. I’ll have Hank.”
He snorted out another snore as if offering his assent, and Destiny laughed, then turning suddenly serious, she threw her arms about Sadie’s neck and squeezed tightly. “Thank you, Mom. For everything.”
Sadie’s chest filled with love almost to the point of overflowing. Destiny had always been able to spin her emotions on a dime. Even as an infant, she would push Sadie right up to the brink of tears with her crying and feeding schedule and squirming diaper changes. Then just at the point when Sadie felt like she couldn’t get any lower, a tiny palm would caress her cheek, or wide eyes would look adoringly into her own, and she’d melt again. “You’re welcome, baby.”
“I love you,” Destiny whispered.
“I love you, too,” Sadie managed around the lump in her throat. Then, afraid she’d dissolve into a puddle of tears, she stepped back and took a shaky breath. “Now get out of here before I change my mind and make you watch sappy movies with me all night.”
“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Destiny said with feigned terror. “I don’t want to be subjected to The Bodyguard . . . again.”
Sadie pointed to the door. “Then you better run.”
Destiny took the threat seriously enough to flee, but her laughter followed her all the way down the hall.
Sadie listened to the beautiful sound for as long as she could, then sank back onto the bed, a wisp of wistfulness curling at her core. Her baby was growing up. It hadn’t happened in the way she’d expected. She didn’t have to drop her off at college and drive away, and in some ways she was grateful for that. But in others, she envied mothers who had such clear and culturally situated rites of passage to lean on. She was in uncharted territory, where a room down the hall felt a million miles away. She wouldn’t have traded today for anything, but at least when Destiny was struggling both physically and emotionally, she’d known what her role was. She had to protect and guide and soothe. Those were familiar tasks, but what did her daughter need from her when she won, when her confidence soared, when possibility spread out endlessly before her? Did she even need her mother at all?
Her breath grew shallow at the thought. Wasn’t that supposed to be every parent’s goal? To give their child everything they needed to be completely independent? If so, she’d come pretty close to succeeding as a mother, and yet, without that sense of urgency or the constant need to put Destiny at the forefront, where did that leave her as a woman?
A light knock sounded at the door, and she sprang from her bed, gleeful at the thought of any distraction as she sent up a hurried prayer that Destiny had decided she wanted to stay with her a little longer.
“Did you decide you wanted a movie night after all?” She threw open the door to find Jay standing there, looking all tall and debonair in her suit with the silk shirt open one button past professional.
“Um, actually I just forgot my room key,” she said apologetically.
“Oh,” Sadie said, feeling a little silly.
“Sorry I’m not up for a movie tonight,” Jay said. “Maybe a rain check?”
“Don’t worry about it,” Sadie said, trying to control the disappointment in her voice. “I was only teasing Destiny— well, I mean, I thought you were Destiny, and I had been teasing her, but she left and—”
“And I came back,” Jay finished for her.
“For your key.”
“Which is right there.” Jay reached past her to snatch the little plastic card off a table near the door. The move put their bodies so close Sadie could smell her sea salt and sandalwood cologne. Without thinking, she leaned in so their bodies brushed lightly against each other. Her face flushed hot.
“I’m, uh, well . . . thanks,” Jay stammered. “For the key, and tonight, and you know . . . all the things.”
“All the things?” Sadie stared into Jay’s endless blue eyes. God, what was wrong with her? Was this some holdover from her earlier musing about her place in the world? Or was the heat building in her now some sort of answer?
“You know, today. The stuff you said in the locker room before the match.” Jay’s eyes flicked down to her lips, and Sadie felt their proximity even more acutely than before.
It would be so easy to lean forward and kiss her.
The thought startled her, and she stepped back. “What?”
“Um, when you told me I could talk to you, and you . . . well, you touched my face.” Jay’s complexion flushed pink.
“And I kissed your cheek,” Sadie said. She remembered the moment clearly. The kiss had seemed so natural at the time, she hadn’t even given it a second thought, but now she wondered if Jay had.
Her heart throbbed heavily in her chest. Had Jay considered the move a come-on? Had she welcomed it? She’d given no indication she wanted that kind of attention from Sadie. Well, aside from the comment early on about not being able to resist her smile, but since then she’d been kind and sweet and professional, but distant. Until now. Now, Jay felt anything but distant. Sadie could clearly feel the heat radiating off her.
Jay cleared her throat. “Right. Well, you were nice, and you said nice things, and you didn’t push me. I guess I’m just saying I appreciate you, too. For, you know, respecting my boundaries.”
“We’ve all got them, Jay,” Sadie said, meaning the words even as she considered blurring every boundary between them. “I’ve had plenty over the last seventeen years. They were hard and fast, and they kept me going.”
“Were?” Jay asked, her voice an octave higher, as her eyes wandered to Sadie’s lips again. “Past tense?”
“I don’t know,” Sadie admitted. “Everything’s changing. I feel, I don’t know, different.”
“Really?” Jay asked, a plaintiveness in her voice that only drew Sadie closer. “Because I’m starting to feel something very familiar.”
“Good. Maybe you can explain this to me,” Sadie said, arching up onto her toes.
“That might not be the best idea ever,” Jay whispered even as she swayed forward.
Sadie slid her palm along the smoothness of Jay’s cheek until her fingers curled around the base of her neck. Then, as Jay bent to her will, Sadie muttered, “Let’s find out,” and pressed their lips together.
A shot of energy surged through her, and she whimpered as electricity crackled across her skin. How could a kiss be so tender and so raw at once? Their mouths moved together flawlessly, fearlessly, asking and granting all at once. Sinking her fingers into Jay’s hair, she held her close, but she didn’t need to. All of the misgivings between them seemed to have vanished the moment they connected. Jay melted into her, easing her back until her body pressed firmly against the open door, then clasping both hands on Sadie’s hips, urged her forward once more in the most deliriously sexy push and pull.
Breath escaped sharply, only to be snatched away once more as the kiss spe
d from slow to searing in a matter of seconds. She fleetingly worried about the possibility of willfully suffocating, but before she had the chance to ponder the pros and cons of surrendering to the desire to kiss Jay for all eternity, it ended so abruptly she let out a little gasp.
“Sadie.” Jay spoke her name with so much anguish, she froze.
“What? What is it?”
“I can’t,” Jay practically panted. “I promised.”
She blinked and shook her head. “You what?”
“I promised,” Jay repeated on a shaky breath. “I gave my word.”
“I don’t understand.” She couldn’t make sense of anything but the way her body screamed to take hold of Jay again. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No,” Jay said quickly. “God, no. You are amazing.”
Sadie eyed her skeptically, dark doubts swirling inside her again. What if she’d allowed her own mounting desire to make her misread Jay’s, or what if Jay hadn’t enjoyed the kiss? What if it hadn’t caused her world to tilt the way it had Sadie’s?
Jay seemed to read her worries and rushed to soothe them. “I mean it, Sadie. You’re too good.”
“I don’t have a lot of experience,” Sadie whispered. “Maybe you’re used to—”
Jay cut her off with another kiss, this one so quick and hard it almost lifted her off the ground, but like the other, it ended entirely too soon.
“Stop, please,” Jay begged. “You don’t have any idea what you’re doing to me.”
Sadie didn’t let go, but her hand slipped from Jay’s neck to her shoulder, feeling the knot of tension there. “What am I doing?”
“Tearing me apart,” Jay nearly sobbed. She lowered her head and kissed Sadie once more, this time more soulfully. The need poured out of her, putting Sadie’s initial concerns to rest, but stirring a new set as her lips parted to welcome Jay’s tongue in a broad, sweeping stroke. She wanted more, she wanted all of her, but not this way, not at the cost she’d seen reflected in those amazing eyes. This time she pulled away.
Jay’s breath flooded out in a hot rush against her skin; then she drew back with a sharp inhale. “I’m sorry.”
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