Chasing the Moon

by A. Lee Martinez

  “But they’re from the old life,” said Sharon. “Even if they were willing to listen, they’d just think you were crazy.”

  “Why shouldn’t they? I’m still not sure I’m not.”

  “I’ve been there. Except I was lucky enough to choose my fate, not just fall into it. I can’t imagine what that must be like. I’m just glad you felt comfortable enough to call me.”

  “I hope it’s not an imposition,” Diana said.

  “Don’t even worry about it. It’s nice to have a friend outside the church.”

  “You go to church?”

  Sharon smiled. “Nondenominational. Primal force worship.”

  “Like Wicca?”

  “Not at all.”

  Sharon offered nothing more, and Diana didn’t feel comfortable enough to pry.

  “So you actually chose to live like this,” she said. “That just seems…” She trailed off, unwilling to finish the thought.

  “Crazy?” asked Sharon in a flat tone.

  “Oh God. I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to offend you. Not after you were nice enough to—”

  Sharon cracked a grin. “I was just messing with you.”

  Diana chuckled uncomfortably.

  “Sorry. Couldn’t resist,” Sharon said. “I don’t know. I guess it is kind of crazy to want to touch something beyond yourself, something greater than you can ever truly comprehend. But isn’t that human nature? This universe is far stranger and more beautiful than most of us will ever know, than most of us will be givenance to know. When the opportunity came, how could I not take it?”

  Her gaze focused on some distant point and an expression of hushed wonder crossed her face. It was almost an intimate moment.

  “I suppose I hadn’t really thought about it,” said Diana softly.

  Sharon didn’t reply. She stared off into space for a few more seconds before shaking off her silent delirium. She glanced around the restaurant as if seeing this world for the first time.

  “Sorry. That’s happening more often lately.”

  “No problem.”

  While waiting for their food, they chatted. It was all small talk. Nothing about monsters from beyond or otherdimensional weirdness. It wasn’t that they were avoiding the subject. It just seemed irrelevant. It was nice to talk to someone like a normal human being. Strangely, Diana found it hard to engage in harmless conversation with normal people. She just kept wanting to explain how little they knew. But Sharon knew just as much as Diana, and this freed them to talk about nothing important.

  “So are you seeing anyone?” asked Sharon.

  “There’s this guy,” replied Diana. “But I’m not really sure about it.”

  “Is he cute?”

  Diana nodded. “Yes, he’s cool. But he’s like us.”

  “And that’s a problem?”

  “I don’t know. I just get a weird vibe off of him sometimes.”

  “Bad vibe can be a dealbreaker,” agreed Sharon.

  “But I’m not sure I can trust my vibe-sensing powers anymore. He seems like a good guy and it’s not like I have a lot of options. Don’t see how I could date a normal person the way my life is now.”

  “I hear you.”

  “What about you? Anyone special?”

  “Sort of. It’s complicated.”

  Diana waited for Sharon to elaborate. She didn’t.

  “Sorry,” said Diana. “Didn’t mean to pry.”

  “No, it’s all right. I asked you, didn’t I? Seems only fair. I’m in a relationship now. I guess that’s what you could call it. It’s more of a professional capacity, but it takes up most of my time. Makes it hard to meet anyone else. Although I’m not sure I’m interested in anyone else.”

  “Crush on the boss? That can be trouble.”

  “You have no idea. Especially since he doesn’t see me that way.”

  “How do you know?” asked Diana.

  “Because he can’t. I know he cares for me, but he doesn’t have the capacity for anything more than we have. Anyway, he’s leaving. I knew he would be one day. I just didn’t expect it so soon. But it’s probably for the best. I know it’s the best for him at least.”

  Sharon stirred the ice in her drink and studied the cubes as if they held the answer to unasked questions.

  Diana chuckled to try to lighten the mood. “As if dating wasn’t complicated enough before this.”

  Sharon smiled. “I won’t miss it.”

  “You shouldn’t give up so easily. I’m sure there’s a guy out there.”

  “When things change, it won’t much matter.”

  “What’s going to change?”

  “Oh, nothing important. Nothing worth worrying about.”

  Diana considered pressing, but their food arrived. Her appetite demanded her full attention. She forced herself to eat one piece of sushi at a time, to chew each piece twenty times, and to wait at least fifteen seconds between bites. It took most of her concentration, and the conversation returned to inane small talk, which was just fine with her.

  Sharon spotted someone entering the restaurant and lowered her head. Diana glanced toward the entrance.

  “Who is that?”

  The tanned and immaculately groomed man saw Sharon. Waving, he called her name and made a beeline toward the table.

  “Well, hello.” He smiled, and the whiteness of his teeth nearly blinded Diana. “Didn’t know you came here, Sharon.”

  “First time,” she replied.

  “Mind if I sit with you for a moment? My party has yet to arrive.” He sat without waiting for permission. “Promising new disciples. We haven’t much time left. We have to save as many as we can.”

  “Mmmm,” replied Sharon while chewing on a spicy tuna roll.

  “I don’t believe we’ve been introduced.” He held out a hand to Diana. “My name’s Greg.”

  His grip was surprisingly strong, even a bit aggressive. She squeezed back. They stared into each other’s eyes. She sensed the challenge inherent in his gaze. He dared her to look away. She didn’t.

  Greg smiled through clenched teeth and a tight jaw. “And who might you be?”

  “Diana.”

  She was aware of a challenge of her own buried in the reply. She didn’t like this guy. She couldn’t say why, but she trusted her instinct.

  At some point the handshake become awkward and the aggression between them noticeable to the nearby patrons. They released at the same time and dopped their stares simultaneously. It was the only way to end the battle of wills in a civilized manner, since resorting to a fistfight would have been frowned upon by the establishment and Diana still had half a plate of spider rolls to finish off.

  “Where did you find her?” asked Greg of Sharon. “She’s got fire. I like that.”

  “She’s taken, Greg,” replied Sharon. “I don’t think she’d be interested in what you have to offer.”

  He laughed. On the surface it was polite, jovial. Underneath it was rehearsed and flat. “Don’t be absurd. Everyone wants what we have to offer. When the glorious transition comes, even those attached to lesser gods will wish they had chosen more wisely.

  “Tell me, Diana,” said Greg. “Have you ever considered your future? The future of this whole world?”

  “Can’t say that I have,” she replied. This was a half-truth. She hadn’t contemplated the future for most of her life, but the last few weeks had changed that. But she wasn’t going to feed him anything to keep him talking. His slightly leathery skin, doll teeth, and perfectly shaped eyebrows just put her off. Everything about him was wrong, and every instinct told her she wanted nothing to do with this guy.

  “You really should,” he said. “When the great upheaval is upon us, only the strong will stand with us. And I can sense you have that strength in you. But it’s undirected, unfocused.”

  “Do we have to do this now?” asked Sharon. “We were just trying to have dinner.”

  “If not now, when?”

  “How about never?” s
aid Diana.

  He was taken aback. So was she. She wasn’t usually this rude, but she could tell Greg wasn’t the kind of guy to take a subtle hint. He was one of those people most everyone found likable, even charming. But for a small group he was only irritating. Diana belonged in the latter category.

  His smile dropped. Just for a moment.

  “You really should reconsider. This is a rare gift I’m offering.”

  “Pass.”

  “Suit yourself.” He handed her a business card. “I’ll just leave this with you. In case you change your mind.”

  She didn’t want the card, but she feigned enough civility to stuff it in her pocket.

  His party arrived just then, and he excused himself.

  “Sorry about that,” said Sharon.

  “He’s not the guy, is he?” asked Diana. “The one you work with that—”

  “Oh, God no.” Sharon laughed. “I can barely stand him. But, believe it or not, he means well. He might be an egotistical jackass, but most people don’t seem to notice. And his heart is in the right place.”

  “What was all that stuff about the great upheaval?”

  “Shop talk. I’d rather not get into it.”

  “Fair enough.”

  They finished their meal without talking about anything weird again.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  The door to Chuck’s apartment opened a crack.

  “Are you alone?” he asked.

  “Yes.”

  The door closed quietly. There was rattling behind it, but it didn’t open. When she tried the handle, it was still locked.

  She knocked again.

  His door parted, allowing half his face to be seen. “What do you want?”

  “Weren’t we supposed to have dinner tonight?” she asked.

  “Dinner? Dinner?” His eye darted to and fro. “I can’t right now.”

  “Is something wrong?”

  “Something?” Chuck laughed mirthlessly. “Is something wrong? Everything is wrong. What isn’t wrong? It’s all wrong.”

  He shut the door again.

  Diana stood in the hall a minute, waiting for Chuck to reappear. He didn’t. She placed her ear against the door. She heard talking, maybe two or three voices in a rapid exchange, followed by a thump and a crash.

  She considered knocking again, but he was going through something. She didn’t know what that something was, but she withheld judgment. She knew Chuck came with baggage. Everyone did.

  She was halfway down the hall when Chuck’s door was flung open.

  “I need you!” His eyes flashed with manic energy as he dashed out, grabbed her by the arm, and pulled her back to his apartment. “I know how to stop it! I know how to make it all go away!”

  She didn’t resist, allowing him to tug her along.

  “See? It’s all about corners! Corners! Corners?”

  Diana didn’t recognize him. The tall, good-looking man was there, but everything had changed. He was stooped, twitchy. His eyes were squinty, darkened slits of suspicion.

  He grabbed her by the shoulders. “Don’t you get it? Don’t you see?”

  “The corners,” she replied. “Sure, I get it.”

  He stared deep into her eyes, then scanned the room, taking a few seconds longer to scrutinize the ceiling.

  “I knew you’d know. I knew you’d understand.” He grabbed a roll of duct tape and started slapping it along the bend where two walls met. “They need corners. They need them to come through, to stay here. But if I get rid of the corners, all of them, then it’ll be over. Finished!”

  He cackled.

  The air of madness around him was distracting, but now she noticed that the apartment was covered in silver tape. Every corner. Every joint. Every place with an angle. He’d done half of the living area.

  “Chuck, maybe you should take a break.”

  “Not now. If I stop now, then they’ll get me.”

  “Who will get you?”

  “Them. All of them.”

  She watched him work, debating how to handle this. He was an entirely different person now. She wouldn’t say madness had consumed him, but lunacy had taken a small bite out of him.

  But was he really crazy? How did she know that he wasn’t right? How did she know that all that was needed to keep away the bogeymen wasn’t enough time and duct tape?

  “Don’t just stand there,” Chuck grumbled. “Help me. You can do the couch.”

  “Yeah, okay.”

  She started taping the furniture. Not seized with Chuck’s madness, she wasn’t certain how best to apply the duct tape. She followed the lines as best she could, paying special attention to the edges where two or three angles met. After a while it stopped being weird, and when she finished with the sofa she stood back and appraised her work.

  “That’s right,” he grumbled. “I knew you’d get it. I knew it.” She put her hand on his back. “Maybe we can take a break. Have a seat.”

  “It’s not safe.”

  “No, I taped the sofa,” she replied. “It’s perfectly safe.”

  He frowned at her with a touch of suspicion, then his gaze fell on the sofa.

  “You need a break,” she said. “You can’t finish this all at once. If you get too tired, you’ll make mistakes.”

  Every bit of his manic energy subsided. He deflated, but she suspected it was only a brief respite. He was like an engine that had slipped into neutral. It didn’t look like it was doing anything, but the gears were still spinning.

  They sat in silence. Rather, she sat in silence while he mumbled to himself. She wanted to know the thing to say to make it all right, but what was there to say? She wasn’t even sure he was crazy.

  She stood. He clutched her hand a bit too tightly.

  “It’s okay,” she said. “I’ll be right back.”

  He clung to her. But it was more than that. He was clinging to something vital inside himself. Something intangible slipping through his fingers.

  Maybe he wasn’t crazy, but he was in bad shape. She understood more than she wanted to admit. She’d only been living here a few weeks, and already she could feel it. The pressure building within, trying to get out. The human mind wasn’t made to know what the building revealed. Secrets and truths that could loosen the steadiest soul. Like a dripping faucet filling a bucket. It might take a long time, but eventually that bucket would have to be emptied, one way or another.

  She put a hand on his cheek. He pulled away, buried his face in the sofa, and shook as he either laughed or sobbed. She wanted to take him in her arms, tell him that everything was going to be okay. The words would’ve been meaningless. He wouldn’t have believed her. There was no reason he should when she didn’t believe it either.

  Rather than waste her time with empty platitudes, she slipped out of the apartment. She tried knocking on Apartment One, but West didn’t answer.

  “Damn it.”

  Apartment Three’s door opened. Stacey and Peter-thing came out.

  “Is there a problem, neighbor?” asked Stacey.

  “It’s Chuck. I think he’s losing it.”

  “Oh, that’s a shame,” said Stacey with an exaggerated frown that would’ve seemed ridiculous on someone else. “He was such a nice young man.”

  “Chuck. Good,” agreed Peter-thing.

  “We have to help him.”

  “Oh, he’ll snap out of it eventually. He always does.”

  “This has happened before?” asked Diana.

  “The dear boy just isn’t cut out for this sort of business.”

  “But he’ll be okay, right?”

  “Probably.”

  “What do you mean, probably?”

  Neither Stacey nor Peter-thing could look her in the eye.

  “What do you mean by that?”

  “Would you care for a piece of pie?” Stacey smiled in that wide-eyed manner of hers. It was meant to be reassuring, but Diana found it condescending.

  “Cut the crap, Stacey.�
��

  Stacey sighed. Her smile faded to merely cheerful, which was as close to somber as she ever got. “I know you like him, Diana, but I wouldn’t get too attached. Peter and I have seen many a soul pass through these halls,nd after a while one gets a feel for these things.”

  “Poor Chuck.” Peter-thing lowered his head and gnashed his teeth. “Poor poor Chuck.”

  “It takes a certain talent to live with this for any amount of time,” said Stacey. “A certain way of looking at the world, of accepting the unacceptable and rolling with the punches. Chuck is strong-willed, intelligent, decent, but he doesn’t have what it takes. Not for the long haul. To be honest, I’m surprised he’s lasted as long as he has.”

  “Well, this is bullshit.” Diana kicked the wall. “Absolute bullshit.”

  “It’s not fair,” said Stacey, “but not everyone has the proper temperament to live like we do.”

  “Wait a second? We?” Diana pointed to herself. “Like you and me.” She jabbed her finger at Peter-thing. “And him.”

  His lips pulled away from his fangs, and he smiled.

  She shook her head slowly. She couldn’t verbalize her denial.

  Peter-thing reached out and put a clawed hand on her shoulder.

  “Diana good.”

  “Yes, why don’t you come in and have some pie?” asked Stacey.

  “No, thank you. I really should check on Chuck.”

  Diana pulled away and hurried back to his apartment. She didn’t look over her shoulder at Stacey and Peter-thing. She wasn’t one of them. She didn’t belong in this place. She’d rather be driven mad.

  Chuck was pulling the silver duct tape off the walls.

  She approached delicately and spoke softly so as not to disturb him.

  “Hi.”

  He turned, smiled at her.

  “Oh, hi.”

  “Feeling better?”

  “Yeah, I don’t know what got into me.” He tried to toss a wad of tape into a bucket of the stuff, but it wouldn’t come off his hand. “Hope I didn’t scare you.”

  She forced a smile. “No, I was just worried. That’s all.”

  The shared an uncomfortable chuckle.

  “You know how it is,” he said. “How it gets to you sometimes.”

  “I know.”