Carrington's Letters

by Dora Carrington

  But all this depends on your cooperation. (Excuse me Dr Jones, for hesitating over that word.) When shall I see you again? Derek and Poppetfn60 have just left us, a strange pair of turtle doves.

  My fondest love

  Your devoted C

  PS I am going to suggest to Derek that he has a head done of Poppet, by you. Don’t you think it would be a good idea??

  PS the moral I confess of this ballet seems a little obscure. The triumph of Lesbianism?

  In July, Carrington, under the name Mopsa, went in for a competition in the Weekend Observer to write an obituary of a writer in his own style. She wrote one of Lytton. To his delight, and hers, she won with the following entry:

  Crouching under the ilex tree in his chaise longue, remote, aloof, self occupied, and mysteriously contented, lay the venerable biographer. Muffled in a sealskin coat (for although it was July he felt the cold) he knitted with elongated fingers a coatee for his favourite cat, Tiberius. He was in his 99th year. He did not know it was his last day on earth.

  A constable called for a subscription for the local sports. ‘Trop tard, trop tard; mes jeux sont finis.’ He gazed at the distant downs: he did not mind, – not mind in the very least the thought that this was probably his last summer; after all, summers were now infinitely cold and dismal. One might as well be a mole. He did not particularly care that he was no longer thought the greatest biographer, or that the Countess no longer – or did he? Had he been a woman he would not have shone as a writer, but as a dissipated mistress of infinite intrigues.

  But – lying on the grass lay a loose button, a peculiarly revolting specimen; it was an intolerable, an unspeakable catastrophe. He stooped from his chaise longue to pick it up, murmuring to his cat ‘Mais quelle horreur!’ For once stooped too far – and passed away for ever.

  To Lytton Strachey

  Ham Spray House

  Saturday, 18 July 1931

  Darling Lytton,

  My most venerable Biographer, knitter of coatees, most dissipated of masters, do you know your wire gave me more pleasure than anything in the world? You were kind to think of sending it to me. Terrible to think I nearly lost my two guineas through cruelty! Ralph is really more delighted than I am, I believe! But of course they will all say you wrote it for me. In fact I am terrified when I send my address the editor will refuse my prize […]

  A mad hatter’s tea party this weekend. I wonder how it will go off! I rather dread the lady poetess, Madame Gamel Brenan. Tommy Earp sends very enthusiastic wires ‘Looking forward very much to weekend. Arriving 4.10 with happy anticipation.’ I hope he won’t be furious to find you not here.

  The cats all send you their loves and pussykisses. Tiber is very proud to at last be immortalized in print. What about our chaise-longue now?

  Did you hear that Bunny was sent for by Sir Philip Sassoon and has been asked to Lympne for a weekend, to fly in an aeroplane!

  I send on all your letters, which seem pretty dreary. I shall miss you very much. I rather favour the curly mirror. But have not quite made up my mind yet. Again it is the expense, which is rather serious.

  I hope you’ll have a lovely time at Cambridge, and enjoy yourself very much darling.

  I shall stay here, and paint next week, and try and improve the house a little, and the garden, before your return.

  Dodo’s garden was looking very beautiful. She gave me some rare cactuses for my greenhouse.

  Poppet, and Derek, are coming to dinner tomorrow to complete the congress of mad hatters!

  I love you so much, and think of you very often. Please write to me, as I shall miss you very much.

  All my love

  Your devoted and most loving Mopsa xxx

  To Lytton Strachey

  Ham Spray House

  Sunday, 19 July 1931

  Darling Lytton,

  I had a lovely ride with Bryan [Guinness] on Friday evening, and a nice chat with Diana [Mitford] over the fire after dinner alone.fn61 She told me a great deal about [her brother] Tom’s character. Rather interesting. I stayed too late – but it is the disease of my old age I foresee, lingering on till everyone falls unconscious with sleep. But what do you think! On the way home I met a badger on the road. And what did the badger say to Mopsa? You will never know. But really it was rather exciting. I could see it very clearly as it ran along in front of the headlights of the car and finally climbed up a bank and went through the hedge. A quiet weekend here. Julia has gone to sleep most of the time. Tommy, Eddie [Gathorne-Hardy] and I sat up till about 2 o’ck arguing and boozing last night. Today Woggies [Rosamond and Wogan Philipps] come to lunch and we tea at Fryern. Julia wants to stay on with me next weekend for some days. Will that be alright?

  All the covers have been washed in the sitting room. It looks quite smart. 20 bottles of gooseberries for the winter and some pots of red-currant jelly for you and your mutton pies. Pansy [Lamb] has sent me her essay for you to read. I hope you are happy darling.

  All my love and love from the cats

  Your fondest Mopsa

  Olive made some really delicious bread for us, this weekend.

  Along with Fryern, Biddesden House, where Diana and Bryan Guinness lived, had become one of Carrington’s favourite places. Both she and Lytton admired Diana’s ‘moon goddess’ beauty and were amused by her Mitford mannerisms. Bryan commissioned Carrington to paint a trompe l’œil fresco of a maid and a cat on an outside wall as a surprise for Diana.

  To Lytton Strachey

  Ham Spray House

  Tuesday, 28 July 1931

  Darling Lytton,

  […] I went with Julia to lunch with Diana today. There we found 3 sisters and Mama Redesdale. The little sisters were ravishingly beautiful, and another of 16 very marvellous, and Grecian. I thought the mother was rather remarkable, very sensible and no upper classes graces.

  We were half an hour late having spent nearly an hour wandering about the byways and footpaths of Glanville. Julia as you might guess wasn’t much good with the map! Mercifully lunch was late as they had only just come back from Stonehenge.

  The little sister was a great botanist, and completely won me by her high spirits and charm.

  Now I must send this to the post.

  I talk with Julia all day, on rather painful topics and get rather gloomy. I do not know what to advise, for I have very little faith in there being any happiness for human beings on this earth.

  I shall not come to London, as there will be preparations to make for the weekend and I think Julia stays with me till Friday probably. I miss you more than I can say.

  The Sans Pareil has just reached Lisbon. I had a post card yesterday […]

  All my love to you darling,

  Your fondest Mopsa

  In September, Lytton went for a short trip by himself to Nancy, in central France. He, Ralph and Carrington were planning to spend part of the winter in Spain. The social life in and around Ham Spray continued.

  To Lytton Strachey

  Ham Spray House

  29 October 1931

  Darling Lytton,

  Oh dear! Inanimate objects are very animated down here! I can pay no attention to elections and tariffs when motorcars refuse to start, scissors disappear and gloves walk off and hide themselves. I got up at half past 7 this morning in order to start my picture at Biddesden early. Bryan had asked me to breakfast. The car refuses to operate and it was 10 o’ck before I got to Biddesden. Then, typically as you would say, the moment I started to paint it came on to rain. So all my paints got mixed with water. My hair dripped into my eyes and my feet became icy cold. Diana was delighted. Bryan kept it a complete surprise from her till 3 o’ck. May joined in the joke, and kept my presence dark all this morning and pretended I had walked over from Ham Spray as my car had to be hidden. Diana, of course, thought nothing of my walking over in the rain and merely said ‘But Carrington you ought to have let me send the car for you.’ I had tea there and then came back. Diana is sweet. She was looking
very lovely today, in a curious dark bottle green jersey with a white frill round her neck. Bryan ate 2 huge slices of his birthday cake for lunch! It was his birthday yesterday. Diana gave a very amusing account of an excursion to see Miss Mona Wilson and Mr Young at Oare. ‘Oh Carrington I cannot tell you how dreadful they were.’

  Bryan – ‘Carrington you musn’t believe it. It was fascinating afternoon.’

  ‘Ough, she smoked a pipe and Mr Young talked about the middle classes and had a blob at the end of his nose.’ etc. etc. etc.

  Diana says ‘Will you tell Mr oh indeed to remember the christening on Monday’ […]

  Don’t come back too exhausted; remember our literary weekend! You are responsible for the dazzling conversations. I shall just put opium in the pies to mitigate Aldous’s brilliance. Puss sends you his love and a kiss. I must go to bed now as I am half asleep. I take the car into Newbury tomorrow. Really it is too much to BEAR. Biddesden was looking ravishing today. The afternoon was beautiful and hot. It’s rather a relief to know nothing of elections.fn62 Ham was quiet as a dead mouse.

  My love darling Mr Oh indeed!

  Yr loving C

  Ralph’s mother died in November. Bloomsbury disliked and avoided all religious ceremonies, but Carrington dutifully attended the senior Mrs Partridge’s funeral. From the beginning of that month, Lytton’s health had taken a sudden turn for the worse.

  To Gerald Brenan

  Ham Spray House

  24 November 1931

  Dearest Amigo

  I’ve been bad at writing. But then I am not a writer … and lately I’ve been very much of a painter, & haven’t had an atom of time to write any letters. Is it true that you & Gamel will be in London soon?

  I feel completely exhausted today as all yesterday for 8 hours I attended the funeral ceremony of La Grande Perdrix. At last she is no more, & the clotted red clay of Devonshire corrupts her flesh. But I am completely exhausted, & almost dead myself. Never again will I attend a funeral. I think it is appalling that to ¾ of the English nation a funeral is what a Fair (at Salisbury) is to us. They gloat over those menacing services, they adore the damp sordid scenes over the grave, & the Beef, & Yorkshire pudding luncheon with black crows afterwards.

  How are you both? Is your cottage windproof & snug?

  I write Gamel a separate letter to tell her my favourite poems, & give her secret female messages.

  I have been gallivanting in London lately & riding madly over the Downs down here. In fact, I’ve been enjoying myself very much in my way.

  This funeral was rather a full stop in my happiness. I had forgotten that side of life existed. Black cotton stockings. Bunches of white chrysanthemums. Do write to me. My love

  Your amiga C

  To Julia Strachey

  Ham Spray House

  Thursday, 6 o’ck [n.d.]

  Darling Julia,

  Virginia, and Leonard have just been down here for the day. They are a fascinating couple. I found Virginia’s conversation irresistible. She is very enthusiastic about your story, and so was Leonard. They gave you a tremendous high praise, your old Tante was delighted. She has been struggling with a cover, but how not to look like Mr Whistler (Rex). That is the problem. How to cram in the socks, penknives, ferns, inkpots, wedding cakes and jellies. All very difficult. I suggested to Virginia that she should get you to illustrate your own masterpiece (C. ‘her drawings, only of course she never lets anyone see them and always crosses them out, are equal to her writing’), I regret to say Virginia refused to be lured away from her horrid intentions. But seriously my dear why don’t you do them? Then, ah then, no fault could be found by the author with the illustrator.fn63

  I am mad about my grove and spend all my time weeding, and carrying nettles on to bonfires. When the heavenly grove is finished poor Tante C will, I fear, be so bent double she won’t be able to look about her and appreciate the darker shades. It’s been very pleasant here this week, such lovely quiet weather. No winds. Olive is ill, so a nice person call[ed] Mrs Walters from the lodge waits on me. She is a sweet character. How are you? You never write now, Piggie. What am I to imagine? Your doggie picture is at 16 Great James’s Street so go and see it if you want it. It is literally 16 years old. Almost as old as Vivien. Is the ‘cook and the pussy cat’ an improvement? If you’d tell me that, I should then know whether to go on with my painting or take to poker-work. My love to Tommy and you darling.

  Yr fondest old Tante C

  Lytton’s condition was deteriorating fast, and trained nurses as well as his sister Pippa moved in to help Carrington and Ralph look after him. His symptoms – fever and diarrhoea – suggested typhoid. In fact he was suffering from stomach cancer.

  To Rosamond Lehmann

  Ham Spray House

  Thursday, November 1931

  Darling,

  I’ll write tonight because tomorrow may be rather a busy day. Lytton is really a little better today, temperature lower, and no haemorrhages, but he feels worse, I suppose because of the low temperature and exhaustion. I feel so relieved when each day is over, as I gathered from a specialist that if there is a turn for the worse it will be in the next few days probably. I sat all this afternoon with Lytton, sponging his face, and hands with scent and water. There is practically nothing one can do. The nurses are very kind and let Pippa and me go in and out of his room when we like. Lytton is so good. He lies without moving day after day and never complains. They still can’t find the germ in any of the blood cultures, but apparently it is undoubtedly typhoid from temperatures and other symptoms. Pippa is such a remarkable character, she adores Lytton and yet never betrays her grief, or thinks of herself. Oliver came down yesterday and stays at the Bear and comes up for meals and spends the day with us. James is coming this weekend I think. Lytton is too weak to talk much, so one sits in his room by the fire without talking. He sends you and Wogan his love. He was so touched by your enquiries and letters.

  I feel dreadfully upset about Garrow.fn64 I felt I’d been so stingy not caring for him, when probably quite a little affection might have made him happier. Julia said Tommy was terribly upset in her letter to me yesterday.

  I met Mrs Hammersleyfn65 at the Guinnesses’ last Saturday evening and was fascinated by her. She talked a great deal about you. She is so beautiful in a romantic Russian style. I couldn’t take my eyes of her. Bryan longs to visit Wales. ‘Do you thing they would mind if we all made an expedition and visited them? and Diana we could look at all the cathedrals on the way!’

  ‘Oh Bryan, must we, I do hate cathedrals …’

  Mrs Hammersley said she’d join the party so about the 6th Jan. you must expect the invasion! Ralph went up to London today but he will be back tomorrow. The owls have come out of their hiding, and hoot round the house tonight and the lawn is white with frost. I’ll write when there is more news. I gather the climb down hill for Lytton will be very slow. You are dear to write such cheering letters. I’ve been feeling in a black dungeon all this week. Nightmarish day and night.

  Your most fond Doric

  By Christmas, there was still no clear diagnosis and Carrington swung between hope and despair.

  To Diana and Bryan Guinness

  Ham Spray House

  Christmas Day, 1931

  Darling Diana and Bryan,

  You can’t think how I loved all your presents. You are geniuses to know the colour of my stockings, my socks and my favourite necklace. Please don’t be cross if your surprise isn’t quite ready by the time you get back. I hope it will be, but there never seems any time now […]

  I can’t write today as I feel rather crushed and flattened by horrors. I gather now the worst is over, at least they hope it is. Yesterday was a terrible day. You can’t think how I look forward to seeing you both again.

  Lytton asked for you today and sent you his love. Your letters were very supporting. Your fondest, with a great deal of love,

  Carrington

  10 o’ck

  PS
The nurse has just told me that the temperature is lower tonight.

  To Sebastian Sprott

  Ham Spray House

  Tuesday evening [December 1931]

  Darling Sebastian,

  Lytton was pleased this morning when I told him of your present. He said: ‘How sweet of Sebastian. Do send him my love. I knew Du Maurier was a traitor’ and gave me a long account of him. It always astonishes the grand doctors how clear his brain is and how good his spirits. We had Dudgeon the grandest pathologist in the world here on Sunday. He confirmed Cassidy’s opinion about the ulcerated colitis, but gave a new treatment, more drastic washing outs and pills. So far there is no visible result but I suppose it’s too soon to expect it yet. The temperatures are still high, they go up to 102 and 103, but pulse is better which is the important thing. The local doctor seems pleased at the way Lytton is holding his own and hopes the bugs and abscesses are being held in check. Your love means so much. I’ll write when there is any change and when it’s possible to have you here darling. I hope you are a little happier now. And next year will be better. Did you see ‘an elderly respectable stockbroker’ got pinched, in yesterday’s paper, for buying female underclothes in D. L. draper’s shop. It is a scandal.

  My fondest love,

  Your loving C

  To Gerald Brenan

  Ham Spray House

  26 December 1931

  Dearest Gamel & Gerald,

  Thank you very much for a most beautiful present of a rare & exquisite Ham. Lately everything has been so unreal that I can’t believe there is another life – a life I can’t believe of Christmas parties, Conversations, foxes (?), & appetites. This summer which was suspended, & defeated, seems a prologue to this December of tragedies & melancholies. I feel now that all my feelings ‘that nothing this year “counted”’ was a cynical preparation for these all too poignant packed days. But I like to think of you, & Gamel gay over your snug fire, cracking jokes. I do hope very much you are happy. – This is to wish you everything you both most want next year.

  Lytton is much the same. But I am almost insensible now. I feel incapable of hoping, or despairing. Everyone has been very kind. Dodo came over, & saw me, & Tommy came for two days. Thank you so much for your comforting letter Gerald. Forgive my gloom but I oughtn’t to write. Yet I had to, because of your letter, & the ham.