kisa was right. i should’ve listened to her when i had the chance to walk away unscathed.
Before, i saw what i wanted. i wanted to believe Rick and i had a connection. i wanted to believe that He felt as strongly about me as i did about Him. i took His words at face value because He had asked me to trust Him. And i did trust Him.
He had seemed so earnest, and now He was asking me to trust Him again.
i had no reason to trust Him. His desire to treat me as a plaything spoke volumes. i wasn’t worth fucking. Why did He even bother asking me to meet His family? What was the point?
He guffawed before slipping His hands from my face and placing them on my waist. His laugh quickly subsided as He stared at me with an intensity i’d never witnessed before.
His normally bright blue eyes darkened. The look He gave me made it clear that i’d hit a sore spot. A very, very sore spot. He looked as angry as i felt.
Well then, now we’re even. Why be mad because i spoke the truth?
“This,” He said through clenched teeth while gesturing between us, “doesn’t have shit to do with samantha. she isn’t a factor. she has never been a factor. Ever. I just need time. Please, give Me that, micah. I know it’s a lot to ask of you, but you have to understand that if I’m asking you to be patient it’s for a very good reason.”
He cupped my face in His hands. “Please,” He whispered, resting His forehead against mine.
i wriggled out of His grasp. “Sure, Sir. Time. If that’s what You seek, i’ll give You time,” i responded tersely.
i was certain He picked up the brusqueness in my tone. i have never blatantly disrespected a Dom. Never once. But now i didn’t care. i was pissed.
He was clearly bothered by my tone but didn’t call me on it.
i was ready to end this conversation. i didn’t want to hear anymore, but Rick didn’t want to let it go.
He pulled me closer to Him as i tried my best to move away. i didn’t want to be anywhere near Him at that moment but He held my wrists as He spoke. “micah, please don’t be upset. Just know that I find you incredibly desirable. We’ll get there, pretty girl, I promise. Now, go insert your egg so we can test it out and be on our way.”
He fucking had to be kidding, right?
i couldn’t give two shits about the egg.
Inside, i was a volcano ready to explode. i wanted to cry. i had so much i wanted to say, but i bit my tongue. i wanted to give Him a piece of my mind and call bullshit on His claim of finding me desirable.
How does that even make sense? Actions speak louder than words, right? At that moment, i felt like i was getting a lot of lip service.
With a hefty dose of attitude, i promptly turned on my heels and headed into the bathroom with that godforsaken egg in tow.
i didn’t know what to do, but i knew for certain i didn’t want to give Him time.
Fuck Your time.
her Master
she was pissed.
micah had remained respectful, barely—and I do mean barely.
Normally, I would never tolerate such insolence from a submissive, but I could see by looking at her that a battle was waging within. I allowed her brazenness because I understood her frustration.
micah was granted one freebie and that was it.
Funny thing was, it was a turn-on to witness micah’s poor attempts at controlling her anger.
I couldn’t blame her for being angry. How would I even explain to her what I was thinking without making her feel like shit?
Sorry, micah, I don’t want to have sex with you until I can tell you I love you. I’m certain I do, but I guess I have cold feet when it comes to saying the words.
Charming, right?
My emotional connection with micah was pretty profound; it even surprised Me sometimes.
When she wasn’t angry with Me, we had a tendency to finish each other’s sentences. I laughed at the corniest things due to her silly sense of humor. she loved everything about the ’80s while I cringed thinking about the tacky trends that stemmed from that time in history. Don’t get Me wrong, I loved a lot of the music that came out of the ’80s, but the majority of things from that decade I could do without.
she had this hilarious habit of cooking My breakfast in only her underwear while lip-syncing to that song “Maniac” from Flashdance. Quirky and weird and completely at ease with herself, that was part of what drew Me to her. she was perfect in every sense of the word. micah didn’t attempt to impress anyone. she was a woman comfortable in her skin, and I found that to be an incredible turn-on.
At times, when she wasn’t aware of My presence, I would watch her. I swear My heart beat a little faster. What I had with micah was rare.
I was a lucky Man, a truly lucky Man.
* * *
Thanksgiving dinner went off without a hitch, even after the prequel to World War III. Well, if you didn’t count the four times I cranked the wireless remote to the egg up to its highest setting. By My estimate, micah came three, possibly four times, and that was all before dessert was served.
Oh, My pretty girl fought hard to control her demeanor and did a hell of a job. No one seemed to notice how uncomfortable she was, despite micah’s occasional fits of stuttering.
I was having a bit of a difficult time controlling My lust.
micah had the best O face. It was even more spectacular when she was trying desperately not to embarrass herself. It was pretty fucked up, but I reveled in watching her squirm.
Hopefully, this was a lesson learned. she needed to learn how to better control her emotions. It was probably cruel of Me to test her limits in the company of My family, but seeing micah—who was usually the epitome of poise—unravel did something to Me. Since she was clearly angry with Me, I figured, why not taunt her a little more?
In some instances, I found it pleasurable to see micah in uncomfortable predicaments. her level of discomfort this evening rivaled when we returned to Spanxxx for a fun night out on the town. Unbeknownst to micah, I had volunteered us for a sensation play demo that illustrated the wonders of the Wartenberg wheel. Good times, man, good times.
micah had never been much for scening in public, so that night at Spanxxx truly came as a surprise to her. Public play was one of her soft limits that I continually pushed.
We’d indulged in public scenes a handful of times, and despite her unease, she had always been obedient, for the most part, but there were times when she had been bratty. Bratty behavior and I didn’t mix, and micah had learned that it wouldn’t be tolerated. A few swats on her ass with a rattan cane served as a great behavior modification tool.
Ultimately, micah always did as she was told. Let Me clarify here: I didn’t do things to simply make her abide to My desires. I liked to push her so that she would be able to grow. A bird wouldn’t take flight until it felt confident in its ability. micah was My bird, she was soaring towards greatness, and the longer we were together the better she would become. Trust Me when I tell you I would never have done anything detrimental to her well-being—I’m not that kind of Man.
So back to Thanksgiving dinner: The table was filled with endless chatter and many embarrassing stories of My youth. My nephews updated Me on their school woes and sports interests. I glanced at micah numerous times throughout dinner and even squeezed her hand underneath the table to assure her that I was proud of her.
Initially, I was greeted with a scowl, but soon her lips turned upward into the most beautiful smile. her smile lit up the room. she appeared to be enjoying the food and conversation, and from what I could tell, My parents loved micah. They asked a variety of questions about her interests, her job, her family, and of course, how we met.
I knew this was My mother’s way of getting back at Me for not bringing micah around sooner. Surprise over Me bringing a guest was to be expected, not the Family Feud version of “Get to Know micah” at the dinner table. But then again, I should have anticipated it; Lena Thomas always marched to the beat of her own
drummer. My dad and Todd attempted to interject a few times to take the focus off of micah, but when My mother was on a mission, forget about it.
micah managed to make it through the conversation unscathed and appeared genuinely happy answering everyone’s questions. she handled My family with ease, and I was proud of her for keeping her cool.
After dinner, micah remained in the living room looking through old family photo albums with My sister-in-law and nephews while My dad and Todd watched the football game. My family’s interest in the Dallas Cowboys was borderline obsessive. I was a Cowboys fan, born and raised. Thomas Men have always supported them, but I wasn’t much in the mood for football or a trip down memory lane. I slipped into the kitchen to see if My mother needed any assistance.
My mom was humming as she donned her oven mitts to remove the pumpkin pies from the oven. “Micah seems lovely. I have to say, I was surprised you brought a guest. You haven’t brought anyone around since Samantha.” How the hell did she know it was Me? Did she have eyes in the back of her head?
I guess there really was something to that woman’s intuition thing. I cringed when she mentioned her name. I knew it was coming at some point this evening; it was inevitable. But damnit, why the hell did she have to mention sam?
“I know, Mom. There really hasn’t been anyone worth bringing around until micah. I haven’t been seeing anyone seriously until now.”
“How long have you two been together?”
“Almost five months.”
“And she’s living with you already? That’s pretty fast, wouldn’t you say?” My mother inquired, raising an eyebrow as she placed the pies on the cooling rack. I knew that look. My mother had many things she wasn’t saying.
Might as well get it all out and clear the air. Nothing like a holiday gathering to bring out the confessions and unfiltered conversation. That’s what holidays were for, right? Some turkey and stuffing, a little family meddling in Your love life, the passing of the cranberry sauce.
Fine, I’d bite. I might as well get it out of the way. There was no sense in delaying the imminent prying that was sure to occur.
“Why do I feel like there’s something you’re not saying, Mom?”
“She’s black. I was a bit surprised. She’s an attractive young lady, but I hadn’t anticipated you being in an interracial relationship. You never mentioned it when you said you were bringing a guest to dinner.”
I felt My eye twitch. I didn’t know if I should be angry or if I should’ve anticipated what My mother had said. As far as I knew, she didn’t have a racist bone in her body. My parents never expressed any negativity towards other races and ethnicities. She was only voicing what I was sure many people in our family would think when they saw micah and Me together.
“I didn’t mention it since I didn’t see it as a big deal, Mom. It doesn’t factor into the importance of why I’m with her. Does it matter really?”
“Have you ever been in an interracial relationship, Richard?”
Was My mother going to turn this into a “We Are the World” moment? Honestly, I could do without the lectures. At thirty-seven, I had many years of motherly advice to fall back on. A vault of advice to last Me a lifetime. I wanted more than anything for this conversation to end.
“No, Mom. I’ve dated a few women of color but nothing long-term.”
My mother once again raised her brow to stare at Me intensely before looking away. She removed her oven mitts and walked over to the spice rack, sifting through the bottles. I’m pretty sure she could see through My bullshit.
“Hmm, well, first things first: ‘sleeping with’ and dating’ are two different things, Rick. You know it and I know it. I wasn’t always a mom, you know? I did date before your father.”
Why the hell was she sharing this info? I hoped to God there was a point. I really didn’t want to know that My mother had a sex life outside of My father. There’s some shit I’d like to be ignorant of and that bit of information was definitely at the top of the list. She found the bottle she was searching for: cinnamon.
She placed it on the counter and continued to speak. “You know I’ve never been one to mince words, and I say this because I love you and you’re my baby, but as progressive as the world is, not everyone will see what you and Micah have as beautiful. If you’re not ready to face the hardships you might encounter because you two are together then you need to walk away now. It’s 2009, everybody is so avant-garde because we have a black President, blah blah blah.”
Oh boy.
“Sure, we live in New York City, but the majority of America is not like the city. You flew by the seat of your pants by having her move in with you. I’m sure you have your reasons why things have happened so quickly with you two, but honey, you should also be sure she’s with you for the right reasons.”
Well, tell Me how you really feel, Mom. What the hell was it with everybody second-guessing My ability to be in a serious relationship with micah? First Josh, and now My mother. My own mother. I began loosening the knot in My tie. For some reason, the temperature in the kitchen seemed to suddenly rise.
“Meaning what, Mom? If I’m supposed to be reading between the lines here, it sounds like you think she’s with Me because of My trust.”
“You said it, I didn’t. But I hope you know whether or not she’s interested in you for your money. I don’t say this to be hurtful, sweetheart, but protect your assets. Your father and I raised you and Todd to use your intuition and good old-fashioned common sense. Our family is in a good place now because I made business decisions that incorporated both my head and my heart. I used them equally and never let one overrule the other.”
I took a moment before responding to all My mother unloaded. Slow and deep breathing helped. What could I say about My mother? Lena was as genuine as they came. I appreciated her honesty, but I really didn’t feel like hearing this shit on Thanksgiving of all days. Here I was thanking the universe for bringing such a lovely and charismatic woman into My life, and now I had to defend My relationship to My mother, of all people. Not to mention, she alluded that micah might be some kind of gold digger. My pretty girl hadn’t known about My background until I chose to divulge the information.
“Rick, honey, calm down. I can tell by the way you’re flaring your nostrils like a bull that you’re upset. Let me backtrack a bit so you can see my perspective.”
Leaning against the sink, I fully undid My tie and crossed My arms over My chest. A defensive stance for sure, but whatever, I was no longer feeling pleasant, “I’m listening, Mom. Go ahead.”
After sprinkling a bit of cinnamon on the pies, she washed and dried her hands before pulling down a stack of dessert plates and coffee cups from the cabinet. After gathering spoons from the drawer, she said, “I don’t know if Micah is with you for money, prestige, or because she genuinely cares about you. However, I have a feeling it’s the latter. Richard, you know I’m brutally honest. Don’t be upset at me for pointing out the obvious. Women go after men of means. I’m not saying that’s Micah’s motive, nor do I believe it, but I wouldn’t be a very good mother if I didn’t at least mention it.
“Honey, since Samantha, you’ve never spoken of any woman you were seeing or brought anyone to meet your father and me until today. Sam was the last woman we were privy to, then suddenly we get a call a few days ago that you’re bringing your live-in girlfriend—whom we’ve never met—to Thanksgiving dinner. That was a shocker for us.”
Well, there was a lot of truth there. My mother had kept asking what time I’d be over for dinner and I’d forgotten to follow-up. By the time I remembered, I casually mentioned I’d be bringing micah. My parents hadn’t known I’d been seeing anyone, let alone that she was living with Me.
“I knew it had to be serious from that declaration alone. I know Samantha meant a great deal to you and she seemed to have hurt you bad. So bad that you closed your heart off to love and happiness. I’ve been worried about you, kiddo. Your father constantly compla
ined and wondered if we’d ever get the chance to be grandparents again. From what I’ve seen this evening, Micah has opened your eyes and your heart. I can see how much you care for her; it’s written all over your face. You’re different around her. Based on first impressions, I like her a lot, Rick, and your dad does as well. He told me so just before he helped bring out the turkey.
“I’m sure if I could pry him and Todd away from the television long enough, they’d contribute to this conversation.
“I don’t care that Micah is black. What matters to me—to us—is that since you’re moving this fast, it’s for the right reasons. I want to know that she feels as strongly about you as you apparently feel about her. If you love her, then I wish you the best of luck, sweetheart. As I said before, if this leads to something more serious down the line, you’ll have children, and although the makeup of the country is changing, some people still frown on interracial relationships and the offspring that come from those unions.”
It was funny because I hadn’t ever really given much thought to having children until micah. It had been a lingering thought, for sure, but with micah it was something I thought about all the time. To be honest, I often daydreamed about what our children would look like. Would they have her brown eyes or button nose?
“I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know, but it just needs to be said. Your father and I don’t care about any of it as long as you’re happy. Caleb and William are getting too big to give me kisses without me having to twist their arm. I’m anxious to hear the pitter-patter of little feet around here again. I take my duties as Grandma seriously, you know.”
I walked over to My mother and hugged her. Sure, she was verbose as hell, but I loved her. The old bird was brutally honest, but I knew she only had My best interests in mind. She always did.
“Mom, I’m pretty sure I love her. No. I know it. I love her and I do want to marry her someday. micah knows about the trust but only after I chose to reveal that information, and she doesn’t care about the money. For a minute, she actually thought I was involved in illegal activity,” I said, chuckling.
The Sweetest Taboo: An Unconventional Romance Page 14