‘Uncle Connor?’ said Jo, eyebrows lifting.
‘He calls you and Sam Auntie and Uncle, doesn’t he?’
‘Absolutely. Perfectly understandable. I’m glad you’re all getting on.’
Jo looked so bland that Zoe refused to gratify her by asking anything else about Connor. Instead, she turned the conversation to various old friends, and then listened to Jo’s grand plans for the Medical Centre.
In private, however, she thought about him quite a lot. Why, for instance, did he not have a partner and children of his own? She’d read up all she could find on Lyme disease but it was irritatingly patchy. There were possible links to infertility, a small percentage of relapses, but the vast majority of sufferers recovered and went on to live normal lives. So what was the problem? Zoe just wanted to understand.
On Sunday she and Jamie used the play area both before and after lunch, but there was no sign of life from the big house. Connor was evidently out for the day.
On Monday morning Karen Spenloe was holding court by the school gate, full of praise for marvellous Dr Maitland. ‘He saw right away that Grandpa Percy would be better off at home with his own telly and porridge and chips if he felt like it and his mates coming in for a game of cards and all that. And he came to see him yesterday—on a Sunday—just to check on him.’
There were murmurs of approval from the other parents. Zoe tried to slip around the group to drop off Jamie, but Karen spotted her. ‘And he said it might be all right, me having the baby at home, if you say yes as well.’
‘Really?’ said Zoe, affecting surprise. ‘Well, he’s changed his mind since we had our case conference about you on Friday. Because then we both agreed that, as comfortable as home births are, we knew you’d much rather the baby was born safe and sound in Sheffield maternity unit with the most up-to-date medical care possible available at a moment’s notice.’
Karen was impressed at being the subject of a case conference. ‘Oh, well,’ she said, ‘he didn’t say all that really—but if you don’t ask, you don’t get, do you?’
And now it was late afternoon and Zoe was once more sitting on the curved bench around Connor’s play area, answering emails from friends on her laptop while Jamie played. The weather couldn’t stay this pleasant for ever—but, even if it changed to driving rain for a week, she still thought she’d enjoy life more here with nothing to do but huddle inside than she would being back in buzzing, busy London. She was telling all her disbelieving friends so when Jamie called, ‘Look at me, Mummy!’
Zoe looked up and set her laptop aside immediately. Jamie had jumped off the swing and started scrambling up the climbing frame. Zoe didn’t like the frame. In her view, it was far too high for a five-year-old. He might fall and…She shuddered at the thought. She knew there would be a soft landing; the gardener had spread fresh bark there, but she still went to stand underneath and held her arms up to him when he called that he was going to crawl along the top of the frame.
‘I’m all right,’ he shouted when he saw her. ‘Don’t need you; I can do it.’
‘You might fall, Jamie.’
Now he was getting annoyed with her. ‘Not going to fall. Go away.’
‘He’s all right,’ a calm voice behind her said. ‘Little boys have to climb.’
She turned. She hadn’t heard Connor approach. ‘Little girls have to climb too. I tried to when I was his age but I wasn’t allowed.’
‘Why not? Because it wasn’t the done thing? Or because your parents were protective?’
‘I don’t know. It doesn’t matter now. But I worry about Jamie. I can’t help it.’
Connor put his hands on her arms, gently urging her backwards, away from the climbing frame. The thrill of his touch was there again, warring with umbrage that he was taking charge.
‘Look, Uncle Connor! I’m swinging.’ Jamie was hanging by his hands, smiling.
Instinctively, Zoe lunged forward. Connor’s hold tightened. ‘He’ll be all right. Leave him.’ He held her arms just a little too long. Part of her—shockingly—wanted to lean back and let him take over. She shook him off, appalled. No way did Connor Maitland know better than her what was right for her son.
‘Look, Mummy, I’m swinging again.’
This time she managed not to move to be nearer him. Instead, she turned to look at Connor. She had noticed that, like her, he always changed when he got home. Today being warm, he was in light chinos and a white T-shirt. In the Medical Centre he always looked professional, like a doctor. When dressed casually, his masculinity was more obvious. Then she thought of herself in shorts and a loose shirt. Nothing like a midwife.
Connor’s usually well-controlled expression was in abeyance as she spun round. Just for a moment, she saw longing in his face. Longing for her? His eyes were on her. She didn’t know, but the thought dried her mouth.
He changed the subject. ‘How was your weekend? Did you get a chance to show Jamie the countryside?’ he asked.
‘No. We went to Jo’s and then finished settling in. I’m looking forward to a bit of exploration once we’ve got our bearings. It’s a bit terrifying, though—all this open space. Do you know the area well?’
‘Pretty well. I used to climb here quite a bit, long before I moved. I still walk now and again. Not so much as I did.’
She thought she detected a touch of sadness in his voice. ‘Because you’re not as fit as you were?’
‘Something like that.’
Sometimes, Zoe found herself just saying things without thinking them through, without considering the consequences. ‘I was thinking of taking Jamie out for the day on Saturday. Pack sandwiches and go for a walk. I don’t suppose you’d like to come with us? Show us a nice route?’
She saw the surprise in his eyes and flinched. ‘Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. The last thing you must want is to go out with someone you hardly know and a young boy while you’re…’
‘I’ve not been out walking with anyone for months.’ His voice became challenging. ‘Did you ask me because you wanted to walk with me? Or because you think it would be good for me?’
‘Neither.’ Now Zoe was cross with herself. ‘I’m trying to do this whole countryside thing properly, trying to make this a complete change of life. But I’m not sure I really know what I’m doing and I’d like Jamie and me to start off walking with someone I trust.’ She paused and then added honestly, ‘But I suppose I do think a bit more human contact wouldn’t kill you.’
He looked at her with mild exasperation. ‘You do realise you’ve just made it impossible for me to refuse? Okay, Saturday. The weather forecast is set fair. There are several trails for novices and…if you like, I could introduce Jamie to real climbing.’
‘Real climbing! He’s only five!’
‘The perfect age for him to start learning properly. He’ll absorb the discipline; you’ll stop worrying. He needs it, Zoe, and he needs it now. Look at him. Trying to imitate man’s ape ancestors.’
Jamie had his hands on the overhead bars, his feet on the ladder at the end of the frame. He was almost horizontal.
‘Jamie!’ Zoe gave a little squawk of fear. She didn’t move forward because Connor’s hand was straight away on her arm and even though his grip was light she knew she mustn’t break it for fear of distracting Jamie.
‘You could try climbing yourself,’ he suggested. ‘There’s a sport for beginners called bouldering. You’d have a rope round you so you couldn’t fall. If you ask me, though, part of your fear for Jamie is because you’ve never been allowed to fall yourself.’
‘You mean you’ll show me how to make mistakes?’
‘It’s an odd way of putting it, but yes.’
This was something she had never thought of, never expected. She liked the thought of a ramble in the countryside, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to try climbing. It was something different, but potentially useful.
‘It would be good for both of you,’ he said. ‘It’s the sort of thing you ought to
be familiar with if you’re going to be living in Buckley for any length of time.’
The sort of thing a nice chap would do with his wife and his son, but which Neil wouldn’t have done because he couldn’t be bothered, because there would always have been something more amusing to take preference.
‘Thank you; we’d like to come climbing with you,’ she said. ‘And now—if it doesn’t go against your principles—could you please lift Jamie down from your scary frame?’
He laughed, opened his arms to Jamie, and her son happily let go of the bars and slithered into them.
Zoe was delighted to see Barbara Reagan at Baby Clinic again. She was less delighted that Barbara’s husband Roy had accompanied her. He lounged at the side of the room, effectively stopping her joining in with the other mums’ conversation as she had last week. Zoe watched as the district nurse called Barbara over to have the baby weighed. Roy went too, answering every time Barbara was asked a question, monopolising the conversation. As they returned to their seats he made a couple of chauvinistic remarks to another dad who was there with his wife.
Zoe rang Connor. ‘Have you finished your list yet? Can you pop into Baby Clinic?’
‘I have finished, but I’m not duty doctor today.’
‘I don’t need a doctor. I need a distraction. Barbara Reagan’s wretched husband is here in macho guard dog mode. He’s not letting her say a word for herself. Could you draw him off?’
Connor’s voice turned austere. ‘No. He’s not one of our patients. It would be horrendously unprofessional.’
Zoe ground her teeth. ‘But Barbara is one of our patients and she needs our help and support. I’m not asking you to talk to Roy as a doctor. Pretend you’re waiting for me and just filling in the time. I want to see Barbara by herself to find out how things are going.’
‘Why don’t I see her and you do the distracting?’
‘Because the man’s a Neanderthal! He doesn’t talk to women; he wipes his feet on them!’
Zoe heard Connor give an irritable sigh. ‘All right. If I get sued for malpractice, you can pay the fine.’
Connor stalked into the baby clinic area feeling distinctly ruffled. He saw Barbara and her husband at once. Roy was good-looking, cocksure, lounging at his ease but with his eyes darting everywhere. Connor made a point of spotting Zoe laughing with one of the new mums on the far side of the room, then he glanced at the clock on the wall, checked his own watch and sat down next to Roy as if waiting.
Barbara’s eyes flicked quickly sideways. She got up to untangle her older child’s jumper just as Zoe walked across.
‘I’ll see you now, Barbara,’ she said. And, to Connor, ‘Ten minutes, promise.’
Connor looked at Roy. ‘Ha, believe that and you’ll believe anything. Women!’
Roy had started to his feet but he turned back at that. By the time he’d said, ‘Too right!’ the women had disappeared down the consulting room corridor. He subsided, looking angry. ‘I wanted to talk to her,’ he muttered. ‘Filling Bar’s head with rubbish. Why should my wife need help in the house, eh? Why should she need to go out to toddler clubs?’
Connor shrugged. ‘Doesn’t seem unreasonable to me. You see your mates every day, don’t you? Women need that sort of support network too.’
Roy looked round the room with a sneer. ‘Chattering like magpies.’
‘It makes them happy. Who knows how many things they’ve solved that were bugging them this morning.’
‘I suppose Bar has been brighter this week,’ Roy said grudgingly. ‘Drives me nuts when she’s weepy all the time. That’s half the reason I go to the pub. Then I say things I don’t mean and she starts wailing again and the kids start up too and…’
‘There you go, then. Having help in the house will make her less tired as well.’
‘Mum never had help. Dad wouldn’t have allowed it.’
‘Yeah, but you’re not your dad, are you?’ Connor swung the bag he was carrying, wondering how much longer Zoe was going to be. He couldn’t string this conversation out for much longer without Roy realising he had a vested interest.
‘Are those climbing boots?’ said Roy in a different tone.
‘Yes, they’re ones my nephew has outgrown. I’m hoping they’ll fit the midwife’s little boy. I promised to start him bouldering this weekend.’
‘Climbing, eh? I used to do a bit of that.’ Roy was definitely more alert now.
‘Grand pastime, isn’t it. Out there matching yourself against the slopes. Why did you stop?’
‘Oh, you know. Got a job. No time. Mates started taking the mickey.’
‘You’d have the last laugh if you got yourself onto a rescue team. You’d be a hero. Why not take it up again? Got a favourite route?’
Connor rather enjoyed the look on Zoe’s face when she returned with a very much happier Barbara to find Roy talking animatedly about gullies and buttresses.
‘What did you say?’ she murmured as Roy helped his wife gather up kids and possessions and pushed the pram out of the surgery without making any further trouble.
‘Reminded him of the good things in life. And all without disturbing any medical ethics.’
Despite her reservations, Zoe was enjoying herself. They were walking through woodland, up a rough track towards a line of rocks. Jamie was riding on Connor’s back, perched on top of his rucksack. As promised, the weather was good—the sun warm but with a cooling breeze and the air like champagne.
She felt a sense of adventure, of starting something new. And—she admitted it privately—there was the pleasure of being with Connor. He looked every inch the climber, dressed in once expensive but now well-worn kit. He had a coiled red rope over his shoulder. He always seemed a confident man, but today he seemed confident in a different way. Confident and content.
He slowed down and Zoe looked doubtfully at the great outcrop of millstone grit that stretched in front of them. ‘You’re not going to make us climb that, are you?’
He laughed. ‘No, but I bet it won’t be long before you want to try. We’re going to climb that little slab.’
Zoe looked where he pointed. ‘Connor, that’s the height of my house!’
He had opened the rucksack, took out of it a jumble of straps and tapes. ‘I’ve got one of these for both of you. Jamie, this is a safety harness. It’s to keep you safe when you climb.’
Jamie was intrigued. ‘Can I wear it on the climbing frame?’
‘I wish,’ muttered Zoe. She watched as Connor swiftly connected a series of straps round Jamie’s little body. And then, very excitingly as far as her son was concerned, fastened a small helmet on his head.
‘I used these for my nephews and nieces,’ he said. ‘Before…’ His voice trailed away.
‘Before what?’ She knew she had to ask.
‘I couldn’t climb, I couldn’t even walk to begin with, while I was ill.’ He couldn’t disguise the pain in his voice.
She put her hand fleetingly over his. ‘These things happen. You’re better now.’
He sighed. ‘Yes.’
She pretended to sound anxious. ‘At least, I hope you’re better, because if we get into difficulties you’re going to have to rescue us.’
He gave a lopsided smile. ‘I’ve still got a residual stiffness in my knee joints, but for the sort of climbing we’re going to do today I’m recovered enough. Your turn. Step into these two loops.’
There were buckles to fasten, straps to pass round her waist and over her shoulders. She would never have worked it out on her own so he did it for her and she tried to ignore the ripples of pleasure as his arms passed round her waist, his fingers accidentally brushed across her breasts. ‘You look like a real climber,’ he said encouragingly. ‘You can try first and Jamie can watch and then he won’t be worried when we try him on something smaller.’
He unwrapped the red rope, tied a loop in one end and fastened it to a metal ring in the front of her harness; he called it a carabiner. Then he tied the other e
nd to the harness round his own waist. They were tied together. And immediately she felt safe.
‘We’re going to climb this first,’ he said and led her to a sloping bit of grey rock with the cliff rearing above it.
‘Right to the top?’ she quavered.
‘No. Just up the sloping bit, the slab. But after a few visits you will want to climb to the top. And there’s a smaller boulder round the corner just right for Jamie.’
It struck her that he was talking about future trips with her. She hadn’t expected this when they arranged to come out together just for one day. But, she had to admit, she liked the idea. This was the kind of thing that friends did together.
Friends? A little voice echoed in her mind. And can you keep it that way?
Connor walked to the foot of the slab, put his hands on it and then climbed upwards. It looked so easy! And he looked amazingly graceful! ‘Things to remember,’ he called down as he climbed. ‘One—only move one foot or one hand at a time. Always have three bits of you on the rock, either two hands and a foot, or two feet and a hand. Two—try to keep upright, keep your body away from the rock, don’t hug it. This puts all your weight on your feet—which is where you want it.’
Then he was on the top of the slab, seated on a ledge. He did complicated things with the rope, tying it behind him, then pulled up the slack so the rope was taut between them. ‘I’m belayed,’ he called down, ‘which means I’m tied down. Climbers should always be belayed for safety. I can easily take your weight now, so come up and join me.’
She turned, looked at the fascinated Jamie. Then she looked at the rock, Connor perched above her. It was only the height of her house. No great height. Not that she would try to climb up the wall of her house. Even with a ladder.
There were hand holds and foot holds, but what Connor had made look easy was really quite hard. She inched her way upwards, the secure harness giving her confidence. In a couple of places she really had to struggle. ‘Stretch your left foot out; there’s a crack there you can get some purchase in.’ He was right.
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