Village Midwife, Blushing Bride

by Gill Sanderson

  Now he thought of Jo and Sam and their family, he thought of Alice and Tim Reynolds and their late pregnancy, he thought of the other members of staff. For goodness’ sake, he even thought of Barbara and Roy Reagan. Their life had been a bit of a mess. But it was improving; there was a genuine love for each other.

  All these people had something that he didn’t have—something that he wanted so desperately. But…could he be selfish enough ask Zoe to marry him? He had told her that she was a born mother, entitled to more children. Children that he couldn’t give her. The memory of that day was still inky-black in his mind. He shifted in his chair, watching her. There must be no more pain today, no more anxiety. She had fixed all her attention on her child and nothing else mattered.

  Then she looked up, straight into his eyes. ‘Don’t you dare even think of leaving,’ she said.

  Bright threads of heat arrowed through all his veins. ‘Zoe, I…’

  ‘I mean it!’

  Hope filled him at her fierceness, impossible and overwhelming. Like it had on the day she’d taken him by the hand and led him to her bed.

  ‘I…’ He cleared his throat and tried again. ‘I was thinking I’d ring Jo. If you’re to stay the night you’ll need clothes…stuff…’ His voice trailed off.

  ‘We’ll need clothes and stuff,’ Zoe corrected him.

  So she’d meant it when she said to the doctor that they would both stay the night in the hospital to be near Jamie? Warmth flooded him anew. He shouldn’t be feeling this, shouldn’t be letting this wonderful well-spring of hope bubble up. He should be suppressing it, reverting to his unemotional surgeon mode. It was safer.

  Safer. But also empty.

  ‘I’ll phone Jo,’ he said. ‘I’ll find out where they’re putting us. Then I’ll be back.’

  He walked outside, hardly noticing the curious looks that his muddy, dishevelled clothes were attracting. His mind was wholly and completely taken up with Zoe. There was no room for anything else.

  Jo was worried—and angry. ‘Connor, what’s this about Jamie having an accident? Where’s Zoe? I’ve been worried sick! I’ve had the chief marshal at the show on to me and the local paper wanting a statement. Why didn’t you phone? Five messages I’ve left you! Five! What’s going on?’

  Connor leaned against the wall of the hospital and let Jo’s voice wash over him. His stomach growled, reminding him that neither he nor Zoe had eaten for hours. He’d fix that as soon as he’d finished here. ‘Sorry, Jo. Jamie had an accident at the fair and I had to do an emergency tracheotomy, but he’s now okay and he’s going be fine. Zoe and I are at Sheffield Hospital with him. We’re going to stay the night. If you can find us some clothes and necessities…’

  This was what Jo did. She sorted out situations. ‘Well, of course I can,’ she said crossly. ‘I suppose you want your car there too, do you? Leave everything to me.’

  Connor smiled. ‘Thanks. We’re a bit wiped out. We’ll fill you in when you get here.’

  There was a suspicion of a sniff. ‘No need—as long as I know you’re all safe. But Connor—?’

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘You know I never interfere with the personal lives of the people I work with?’

  He had to grin. ‘Like you didn’t interfere with Barbara Reagan?’

  ‘That was different. I’m just saying that if you can’t see Zoe for what she is, then you’re a bigger fool than I took you for.’ And she rang off.

  ‘I’m not a fool; I’m a realist,’ he said to the dead phone.

  He leaned against the wall for a moment longer, thinking about what he’d just said. Was he a realist or a fool? Or were all realists fools? Would it be selfish if he did what he’d known for so long he desperately wanted to do? To marry Zoe? To be a father to Jamie? Her words to him on the ward—and the warm hope inside him—suggested that was what she wanted too.

  He let images of her fill his mind. Zoe, playing with Jamie. Zoe, pluckily determined on her first climb. Zoe, enraged because she thought he had endangered her child, then remorseful and ruthlessly honest when he showed her otherwise. Zoe, naked and gorgeous and laughing as they made love.

  What to do?

  Zoe was drowsing, lying in wonderfully warm and scented water, covered in foam, when Connor knocked on the bathroom door of the hospital flat.

  ‘Come in,’ she called, and smiled at the way he very carefully avoided looking at her as he placed the mug of tea on the end of the bath.

  ‘I’ll be out in a minute,’ she said. ‘It’ll be wonderful to put on clean clothes. Jo is just so terrific, isn’t she?’

  Her friend had burst into the ward, kissed everyone in sight, sat with her arms round Zoe hearing the whole story of the day and then gone, leaving two suitcases containing enough stuff for a fortnight, let alone one evening. She’d also given Connor his car keys. But he was still here.

  ‘She is,’ he agreed. ‘It’s good to have friends. Good to be loved. I think I’ve been forgetting that.’

  His eyes were on her face as he said this. Zoe tingled all over. There was a meaning there that was more than mere words. She only hoped it was the right one.

  She looked at him now. He had had a bath and changed his clothes while she with Jo and was now dressed in dark trousers and a soft dark sweater. As ever, he looked good.

  She drew a resolute breath. Jamie was sleeping peacefully in the ward and the Sister would send for her if there was any need. It was time to concentrate on herself, time to remake her life. And, from the expression in Connor’s eyes, he might at last be ready to talk.

  But, ‘I’ve been to the hospital shop,’ he said. ‘Bought us some provisions. I didn’t think you’d want to go back out to the café.’

  ‘Deciding things for me again?’ Her tone was wry.

  ‘Deciding things for me,’ he said. He hesitated, then leaned over the bath, put a hand on her wet, naked back and quickly kissed her. ‘I didn’t want to go out to the café. And I wanted to make you a meal.’

  She grinned. ‘I can live with that.’

  Just so long as it wasn’t a goodbye gift.

  Afterwards, Zoe couldn’t have said what they’d eaten. All sorts of bits, washed down with a glass of wine. Her whole existence was centred on the man sitting opposite her, the man looking back at her in that half-apprehensive, half-determined way.

  ‘Well?’ she said, tense with anticipation after he’d cleared away.

  He sat down again, leaned forward and took her hands. ‘First I want to say sorry for the pain I’ve caused you.’

  ‘Which has been great,’ she put in steadily.

  He bowed his head. ‘Which has been great. Zoe, the accident to Jamie—things could have gone so badly wrong, and if they had I’d have lost you both. It made me think.’

  ‘It was about time something did. Connor, didn’t you ever listen to me at all? Didn’t you hear me say that I don’t care if we never have any children?’

  ‘I heard, but I knew better. In some ways, I think I still do.’

  But he was gripping her hands as he said it and that gave Zoe the courage to carry on. ‘Wrapping me in cotton wool, in fact. Knowing what’s best for me, just as everyone in my life has always done. Connor, you were the one who told me Jamie had to make his own mistakes. I’d been frightened of making another mistake myself for so long, but as soon as I did make a decision, you tried to stop me!’

  ‘I know. I faced that this afternoon. I told you before that I loved you. I meant it. I think I always will. And when I told you I couldn’t marry you because I couldn’t have children, I did that for you. Or I thought I did.’

  There was such misery in his voice. Zoe stood upright, pulling him to his feet. ‘Hold me,’ she said.

  His arms came round her, giving comfort and taking it in return. ‘Now I think it was cowardice on my part. You were willing to take a risk. Why wasn’t I? Because I was fixated on avoiding unhappiness. And that was so wrong.’

  ‘So?’ she asked, her breath c
atching in her throat.

  ‘This afternoon, I’d have done that tracheotomy on any child that had needed it. I’d have been cool, clinical, precise—the skills would have clicked into place without me even noticing.’ He let go of her and cupped her face between his palms. His eyes bored into her with their intentness. ‘But I wasn’t cool and clinical, Zoe. The part of me that wasn’t being a surgeon was terrified. You’d taught me what it is to love, what it is to feel. Jamie as well, but mostly you. That’s the reason I’d have felt empty without you both. Because if you’ve never loved you don’t know how to feel loss. You’ve given me that gift. You’re the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. I love you so much, Zoe. I want to marry you and let the future take care of itself. It could be good, it could be bad, but we’ll have each other. I’ll be as good a father as I can to Jamie. There’ll be the three of us. And I’ll do everything in my power to make you happy. So will you marry me? Please, Zoe?’

  Zoe gripped Connor’s arms, as shaken by emotion as he was. So much in one day! The pain of being with Connor this morning had been as nothing to her fear when she’d thought Jamie might die. And then her realisation that she could trust him through thick and thin, her knowledge that she would try again, that she would make him see. And now happiness beyond compare, even greater than when they’d made love after the ball, because this time they’d so nearly lost it for good.

  Happiness! It surrounded her, it enveloped her, it lifted her off her feet and propelled her into Connor’s arms with a wordless cry. Their lips met—their tongues, mouths and hearts forever entwined. The world was encased in sunshine; the future would be magnificent…

  Eventually they paused for breath. Zoe discovered that she was sitting on Connor’s lap and they had somehow got into the bedroom. ‘Do you really need an answer?’ she asked, her heart full of joy. ‘Of course I’ll marry you. And I intend making you just as happy as you’ll make me.’

  Then she looked at the room and giggled. ‘Oh, dear,’ she said. ‘Two single beds.’

  Connor was ever practical. ‘We’ll push them together.’ Then turned back to her with the most glorious look of love in his eyes. ‘That’s if I can let go of you long enough to do it.’

  EPILOGUE

  SPRINGTIME. There were snowdrops in the lanes around Buckley and snowdrops spreading from the coach house garden to the play dell in Connor’s garden next door.

  Zoe leaned out of her bedroom window and thought dreamily that they matched the white of her dress—her wedding dress. Top Two Toe, Jo’s miracle dress shop tucked away down the back street in Buckley, had done her proud. A fitted bodice that did much for her figure, and a long skirt that wasn’t too long for dancing. Because Zoe and Connor would have to dance on their wedding night.

  It was nine months now since Zoe had come to live in Buckley but she had made more friends here than in her whole life before. And she now had a family! ‘Just you wait,’ Connor had warned her with a smile. ‘The minute I tell my sisters that we’re getting married, we’ll be invaded!’ And they had been. First his sisters, their husbands and families had arrived to briefly fill Connor’s big house and make themselves known to Zoe and Jamie. Then his parents—back home from their visit to his brother. They were all overjoyed that Connor had finally come to his senses and they were overflowing with love for the woman who had turned him back into their Connor again.

  Zoe smiled to herself, remembering those precious nights when Connor claimed he was overwhelmed by his house guests and needed the peace and quiet of the coach house. They would spend their wedding night here as well, before the family went home tomorrow and Zoe and Jamie formally moved into the big house with Connor.

  Zoe could hear excited shouts coming from that same house and was glad she’d been firm about getting ready for her big day here—just her and Jamie with Jo to help them. This day was very special to her; her past had been long discarded now and she wanted to enjoy every single moment of the preparation. Over in the main house her bridesmaids—and, with Connor’s brother and family over from Australia to join the rest, there were a lot of bridesmaids—were being showered, marshalled into their long pink dresses, having their hair brushed and threaded with flowers, but in the coach house all was serene.

  One other thing had given Zoe so much more pleasure than she had expected. Connor had written to her mother and her new husband and they had been delighted to make the long journey up from the Channel Isles for the wedding. They had also asked Zoe, Connor and Jamie to come and stay with them for a holiday during the summer.

  Jamie joined her at the window, peering out to see if it was time to go yet. He was happy all the time now. There were no more nightmares, no sheltering in a dark corner because he couldn’t cope with the world. He was wearing his first grown-up, long-trousered suit today, with a flower in his buttonhole, just like Uncle Connor. And after the wedding—why, Uncle Connor would turn into Dad! Jamie couldn’t wait!

  Connor himself was a different man. The untrusting side of his character had passed. He loved his family; he saw so much more of his friends. The shadow that had darkened his life was now entirely gone. They might never have more children, but he had Zoe—and he knew her love was steadfast.

  She could hear the church bells starting. ‘Time to go,’ said Jo, coming into the room behind her. ‘The car’s waiting outside and look—all your bridesmaids are parading beautifully across from the big house. I swear they think this wedding has been arranged just so they could have long dresses.’

  Zoe chuckled. Arabella was leading them, taking her position as chief bridesmaid very seriously.

  ‘Let’s have a last look at you,’ said Jo. A few tugs at the flow of the skirt, a slight adjustment of the veil and she nodded. ‘I guess you’ll do. Oh, Zoe, I’m so happy for you.’

  Zoe saw tears in her friend’s eyes and hugged her. ‘I’m pretty happy myself,’ she said. There weren’t the words to express it any better. Her life was all happiness and sunlight.

  Jo was to be Zoe’s matron of honour. She had also been the chief organiser of this wedding. When Zoe had wondered if she and Connor should have ‘just a quiet affair—nothing special’, Jo had erupted.

  ‘Rubbish! Connor loves you, he’s proud of you; he wants the world to see you marry him. This wedding is going to be special!’

  So now Zoe walked to the waiting Rolls-Royce, accompanied by Sam, who was to give her away. Jo guided the bridesmaids and their mothers into the next cars, and followed in the final one with Jamie.

  The sound of the bells grew louder. Zoe wound down her window, waved at all the people who were waving at her. She had made so many friends in Buckley.

  And then they were at the church gate.

  There was just a moment standing in the churchyard while the bridesmaids were formed into lines by Jo and the photographer snapped pictures. Then the procession entered the church.

  The organ notes swelled loud and proud. Arrival of the Queen of Sheba.

  ‘I’m not the Queen of Sheba,’ Zoe had protested.

  ‘You are to me,’ Connor had said.

  Slowly, on Sam’s arm, she walked down the red-carpeted aisle. She felt as if she would never stop smiling. And there ahead, stepping out to stand in front of the vicar, was Connor. By his side was the best man, his old friend Mick Baxter, who had flown from Patagonia. Well, that was what friends did.

  Zoe reached Connor’s side, lifted back her veil and smiled joyfully into his face. Connor’s eyes were full of love as he took her hand in his. And she knew that all would be well. Now and for ever.

  ‘Dearly beloved,’ the vicar began…

  All the characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author, and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all the incidents are pure invention.

  All Rights Reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or i
n part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Enterprises II BV/S.à.r.l. The text of this publication or any part thereof may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, storage in an information retrieval system, or otherwise, without the written permission of the publisher.

  This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out or otherwise circulated without the prior consent of the publisher in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

  ® and TM are trademarks owned and used by the trademark owner and/or its licensee. Trademarks marked with ® are registered with the United Kingdom Patent Office and/or the Office for Harmonisation in the Internal Market and in other countries.

  First published in Great Britain 2010

  Harlequin Mills & Boon Limited,

  Eton House, 18-24 Paradise Road, Richmond, Surrey TW9 1SR

  © Gill Sanderson 2010

  ISBN: 978-1-408-91826-5

  Sadržaj

  Cover Page

  Excerpt

  Title Page

  About the Author

  Dedication

  PROLOGUE

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven