by Ginna Gray
"I figure three months. Four tops."
"I see. Very well, but I'll want that in writing, with a cost and time overrun penalty clause built into the contract."
Alissa looked appalled. "Dirk … darling … a contract isn't necessary in this case," she said nervously. "T.J. is an old friend of the family. Actually, he's doing us a huge favor simply by taking the job right now. He's putting us ahead of a lot of other people who have been waiting for him. We're very lucky to get him at all."
"That's all right, Alissa," T.J. said, meeting Dirk's stare. "I don't mind. If you're going to be here this weekend, I'll bring a contract over tomorrow for you to check out."
"Fine. I assume you and my wife went over all the details of what we want done."
"Yes. I've got it all written down. Everything will be included in the contract."
"Good." Dirk put his arm around Alissa's shoulders and pulled her close against his side, his level gaze still locked with T.J.'s. "I believe in spelling things out. I've found it's always best for a man to know what he can touch and what is off-limits."
The gritty edge to his voice drew a sharp look from Alissa. She had the uneasy feeling that the two men were discussing something other than remodeling.
Aware of something amiss between the two, but not sure exactly what, she shifted uneasily. "Well, now that we've settled that, we'd all better get over to Callie's," she said in a bright voice. "I can almost smell her biscuits cooking from here. She'll skin us all if we're late."
"Uh, look, Alissa, if you don't mind, I think I'll take a rain check on that dinner."
"What? But T.J., Callie is expecting you. She's even cooking your favorite. Fried chicken."
"I know, and I appreciate it, but I just remembered another appointment," he said regretfully, edging toward the door. "Be sure and give Callie my love, and tell her I'll take her up on that offer one evening next week."
"But—"
"Sweetheart, I'm sure Mr. Krueger knows his schedule better than you," Dirk said, digging his fingers into the side of her waist. "And you heard him—he can't stay. So don't badger the man."
Alissa frowned and opened her mouth to argue further, but this time T.J. cut her off.
"I gotta go. Really. Tell Roger and Joe I'm sorry I missed them, but I'll catch 'em later." Rising a hand in farewell, he strode toward the front door.
Alissa followed him, but she wasn't quick enough. In the foyer T.J. plucked his Stetson from one of the hooks on the antique hall tree and jammed it on his head without slowing down.
The screen door slapped shut behind him, and in two loping strides he crossed the porch and took the steps in one leap. Nibbling on her thumbnail, Alissa watched him from the entry hall.
She heard Dirk coming up behind her, and she whirled. "Would you mind telling me what that was all about? You were downright rude to—"
He bent and covered her mouth with his and snatched her into his arms, cutting her off in midsentence.
Alissa was so stunned she couldn't move or react for several seconds. Then sensations bombarded her—the feel of his powerful body against hers, his heat, the familiar scent that was his alone, the urgent thud of his heart against her palm, his breath skipping across her cheek, moist and warm and agitated.
Of its own accord her body responded to his nearness, going weak and warm, molding itself to him like wax left in the sun. With a little moan, she twined her arms around his neck and sank into the kiss, surrendering to the voluptuous pleasure that flooded her senses, kissing him back with all the ardor in her soul.
All thought of T.J. and her husband's strange behavior toward him flitted right out of her mind. At that moment nothing existed for her but Dirk. The two weeks apart had seemed interminable, and it felt so incredibly good to be in his arms again. She savored every touch and taste, every delicious thrill that rippled through her body.
When he finally broke off the kiss they were both frantic with need and clutching each other. "Sweet heaven, I missed you," he growled as he dragged his mouth across her cheek, leaving a moist trail of kisses on her skin.
"Oh, my darling, I missed you, too. So much."
His breath filled her ear an instant before the tip of his tongue traced the delicate swirls, then made a quick foray inside. A low sigh of ecstasy escaped Alissa's throat and her fingernails dug into his nape.
Dirk's control snapped. Alissa gave a startled cry and clutched at his shoulders as he swooped her up in his arms and whirled around. "Dirk! What—?"
His gaze locked with hers. His face was set, and her breath caught when she saw the fire in his silvery eyes.
"Two weeks is too damned long to be without you. I want you," he growled. "Now."
Alissa felt weak and trembly, as though her bones were melting. It wasn't exactly the declaration of love for which she longed, but she could see the need and raw emotion in his eyes. She cupped his lean cheek and gazed at him with all the love in her heart. "Oh, Dirk," she said with aching tenderness, laying her cheek against his shoulder.
He took the stairs two at a time. In the bedroom he set Alissa on her feet beside the bed and kissed her again. When he raised his head his eyes were glittering. "I need you," he said in a raspy voice as his hands went to the buttons of her blouse.
She trembled. "I know, my darling," she whispered, reaching for his belt buckle. "I need you, too."
They worked feverishly to divest each other of their clothes, but progress was hindered by shaking hands and the need to touch and caress. Finally, between desperate kisses and whispered words, stubborn buttons, hooks and zippers were dealt with and they tumbled together onto the wide bed, lips fused, eager hands touching, stroking.
They rolled together across the mattress in a frenzy of passion. Neither could bear to wait, and Dirk quickly moved above her.
Their joining was swift and smooth and deeply satisfying. He thrust deep, then grew still, and for a moment they clung to each other, their bodies taut and quivering as they savored the almost unbearable pleasure.
Soon, however, it was not enough, and with a groan, Dirk began the age-old movements of love.
The driving urgency carried them quickly to a white-hot fulfillment that sent them spiraling out of control and shook them both to their very souls as their cries carried through the nearly empty house.
Gasping, they tumbled back to earth and floated on a cloud of languor, clinging to each other, their bodies slick with perspiration, their breathing labored.
Sometime later Dirk roused himself enough to roll to his back and pull Alissa into his embrace. For a long time they lay together in contented silence. His hand absently stroked up and down her arm. She snuggled her cheek on his shoulder and toyed with the hair on his chest, twining the short curls around her forefinger, a tiny smile on her face.
Whether Dirk knew it or not, he loved her. Desire that strong could only spring from love. Plus, his every action betrayed his feelings.
"Are you ready now to tell me why you were so rude to T.J.?" she asked finally.
"Was I?" he returned in a bored voice.
"Oh, please. You know perfectly well you were insufferable."
"That's putting it a bit strongly, don't you think?"
"No, I don't. From the moment you walked into the house you were cold as ice to him. I couldn't believe my ears. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to find a good contractor? Particularly one with T.J.'s qualifications? We should get down on our knees and thank heaven he agreed to do the work on our place. Instead you've insulted him. I want to know why."
The silence stretched out. Dirk stared at the ceiling, but his hand continued to stroke her arm. She was beginning to think he wasn't going to answer her when he said in a low voice, "I didn't like the way he was touching you."
She rose on one elbow and stared at him. "The way he was touching me? You can't be serious."
He turned his head and pierced her with an intense look. "I'm very serious."
"He simply help
ed me down from the ladder."
"And copped a feel while he was at it."
"Dirk!"
"Trust me, Alissa, a man knows when another man is interested in his woman."
That startled a laugh from her, but she sobered quickly when he scowled. "Darling, listen to me. You're wrong. Heavens, I've known T.J. since I was six years old when we were in grade school together. Back then he used to call me names like skinny and bird-legs, and later when I was about twelve and just beginning to develop he teased me about having breasts the size of ant bites. T.J. and Tyler were best friends, and the two of them used to tease and torment me unmercifully. T.J. thinks of me like a sister."
"I saw the way he looked at you, Alissa. That guy definitely wasn't having brotherly thoughts. You're not six now, or twelve," he reminded her. "You have terrific legs, and your breasts are a hell of a lot bigger than ant bites. Both of which I'm sure your friend T.J. has noticed."
Why, he was jealous! Alissa stared at him, feeling as though a minuscule star had exploded in her heart.
Her smile widened. She couldn't believe he was jealous of T.J., of all people. When they had been kids she had called him Stinky Krueger, and he'd been the bane of her existence.
Gazing at Dirk tenderly, she touched his cheek and ran her fingers through the hair at his temple. "Even if what you say is true—and, mind you, I still think you're wrong—it doesn't mean anything. There's no harm in looking. Men look at women all the time. It's some sort of an automatic reflex."
"This is a hell of a lot more than that. In case you haven't noticed, the guy's attracted to you."
The edge in his voice was music to her ears, and Alissa had to fight back laughter. "Even if that's true, so what? T.J.'s an honorable man. He won't act on the attraction."
"He damned well better not," he snarled.
The veneer of suave sophistication slid away, and there was something dark and dangerous, something almost feral, in his eyes. For the first time in all the years that she had known Dirk, Alissa glimpsed the street tough he had once been, ready to fight for what was his.
The vulnerability behind his fierceness made her heart clench. No matter how thrilling it was to know he cared, she did not want him to experience even a moment's doubt where she was concerned.
She cupped his cheek. "Dirk, listen to me. It doesn't matter what T.J. or any other man feels for me. I love you." Giving him an adoring look, she rubbed her thumb over the wiry silk of his eyebrows, brushed it across his cheek, the corner of his mouth. "Only you," she added in a husky whisper.
He looked deep into her eyes. "Do you?"
"Yes," she said simply, meeting his fierce stare with unwavering honesty.
Gradually his granite expression softened, and he reached up and cupped her nape and drew her face down to his. "Show me," he whispered against her lips.
"Dirk … darling, we … we can't," she gasped between nibbling kisses. "Callie will … kill … us. We're already late … for dinner … as … it … is."
"By now I'm sure … that someone in the family … has seen my car," he replied between nibbling kisses. Cupping her breast, he flicked his thumb over the velvety tip and made an appreciative sound when the nub at its center tightened. "I don't think they'll be expecting us."
He bent his head, and took her nipple into his hot mouth.
"Oh, Dirk. Darling," Alissa said on a trembling sigh of need and love as he drew on her with a slow, sweet suction.
"He really is good with the children, isn't he?" Callie mused the next afternoon. She and Alissa sat in lawn chairs beneath the shade of a live oak behind her home, shelling peas as they watched Dirk, Joe and Roger and the older children playing croquet on the back lawn.
Alissa smiled, her wistful gaze on her husband. "Yes. Yes, he is." Never in a million years would she have guessed that the remote bachelor she had married had a soft spot for children, especially after the ultimatum he'd given her about not having a family, but it was true.
In the three months that they had been married Dirk had developed an easy camaraderie with all the members of her family, especially her nieces and nephews.
He played games with them, teased them, took them places. He carried the little ones around, and whenever any of the kids talked, he really listened to what they had to say. He had helped Todd when he was having difficulty with algebra, and when Susan's first bout with puppy love had turned sour he'd let her cry on his shoulder. Once, in an emergency, he had even changed baby Emma's diaper—or at least, he'd tried.
It was obvious that Dirk truly enjoyed being around the children. In the beginning, that had given Alissa hope that he might change his mind about adopting.
She could not have been more wrong, as she had learned from an incident that had occurred only a few weeks ago.
She had been watching the children for Callie and Roger, who had gone to dinner in town for their anniversary. While watching television Alissa had bitten down on a piece of popcorn and lost a filling. Even though it had been a weekend evening and she was no longer his patient, their old family dentist in Brenham had agreed to put in a temporary filling. However, when she had asked Dirk to watch the children for a couple of hours he had flatly refused. She had been so shocked she had gaped at him.
"What?"
He had given her a hard look. "I said no. I won't babysit."
"But … I have to go to town. Anyway, you do it all the time."
"Never alone."
She laughed, relief flooding her. "Is that all? Oh, Dirk, if you're worried that you can't handle it, don't. Believe me, you'll do just fine."
"No, I won't, because I'm not going to do it. You'll have to find someone else. Or take them with you."
"But— Dirk, wait! Where are you going?"
He had ignored her. Without uttering another word, he had risen stiffly and walked out of the house, climbed into his car and driven away.
It had been almost midnight before he returned, and one look at his face had warned her that he would not discuss the matter.
Since then, Alissa had not harbored any more foolish hopes about starting a family.
Dirk knocked a wooden ball through a wicket, and immediately the others booed, but little Maude Ann came running from the sidelines, squealing with delight, to hug Dirk's legs. Every time he smacked the ball with his mallet she did the same.
"Oh, Lordy, would you just look at that child? I'm afraid Maude Ann has an enormous crush on Dirk."
The child had taken to following him around like a little shadow, and whenever he sat down she promptly climbed into his lap.
"I know. This morning she told me that when she growed up she was going to marry Uncle Dirk, so I would have to unmarry him."
Callie groaned. "I'm going to have to have a little talk with her."
"Don't bother," Alissa said with a laugh. "I'm sure she'll figure it out for herself one day."
"Mmm." Her sister picked up another handful of peas from the bushel basket that sat between their chairs. Expertly she split open a pod with her thumbnail and stripped out the black-eyed peas into the bowl in her lap. Overhead a bird chirped, and on the croquet field Todd crowed when he knocked his father's ball out-of-bounds.
"So … when are you and Dirk going to start a family?" her sister asked.
A sad smile tugged at Alissa's mouth. She had been expecting the question. Actually, she was surprised that her sister had refrained from inquiring until now. "We're not."
The answer got exactly the reaction she expected. Callie's head snapped around, her gaze locking on Alissa. "Why not?" she demanded.
"Well, to start with, given my history, it's unlikely that I would be able to conceive. As for adoption, there are thousands of childless couples waiting to adopt a child. Besides, Dirk doesn't want children," she added quietly.
"What? Well, that's just plain crazy. Look at the man. He's a natural born father."
"Perhaps. But he is adamant. And … and I think I agree with him. We're both t
oo old to start a family."
"What a load of horse manure. I'm almost two years older than you and I have a two-year-old and a baby."
"Ah, but you had prior experience, with Julie and Todd. This would be new territory for us."
"Mmm." Callie gazed at Dirk, frowning. "Maybe I should talk to Dirk. I'm sure I could get him to change his mi—"
"Callie, no. You are not to speak to him. Do you understand me? This is a private matter between the two of us. I don't think he would be very happy if he knew I had discussed it with you."
Her sister looked as though she were ready to argue, and Alissa laid a hand on her arm, "Dearest, I know that you're only thinking of my happiness, but I accepted long ago that I would never have children. You're just going to have to do the same."
"But—"
"No, I mean it, Callie. Let it go. It's just not going to happen."
* * *
Chapter 11
« ^ »
"It happens sometimes, Mrs. Matheson," Dr. Stevens said, smiling at Alissa's stunned expression. She tapped her forefinger against the file on her desk. "Both my examination and the test confirm it. You are definitely pregnant."
"But…"
"Alissa, just because your first marriage didn't produce children, that does not mean you are incapable of conceiving. I've told you that for years. If you'll recall, none of the tests that I ran on you and Tom indicated there was a problem with either of you. For some reason unknown to medical science, the two of you simply never … well, for lack of a better word, clicked. That's obviously not the case with your new husband."
"But you don't understand. Dirk said he couldn't father a child."
"Really?" Dr. Stevens's smile faded. Leaning back in her chair, she propped her elbows on the arms and steepled her fingers together. "Mmm. Do you know what his problem is?"
"No. He didn't say, and … well … it's such a sensitive topic with men, I never asked."
Alissa had learned that lesson with Tom. He had been able to live with her being barren, but the very suggestion that perhaps he might be the one responsible had upset him so much he was not able to discuss the possibility rationally. Over the years, she had learned to avoid the subject.