Claire Voyant

by Saralee Rosenberg

  “Very funny.”

  “No, really. It’s like Pops didn’t die. He’s still here, and he’s getting through to you. Like in the hospital when you got all those messages. And before that, you said that you felt his presence a lot.”

  “Yes, but I have no recollection of him telling me about this poem…but I would swear on my life that it’s a song.”

  “No. Believe me, if there was a recording of it, we would have had it, especially since he was so into music. When he was a kid, he was this supposed piano prodigy. His big dream was to be a composer, but then the war happened; he lost everyone and everything, somehow made it out of the concentration camps, got brought to this country with the help of an uncle, and by the time he got to America, he’d lost all desire to play—”

  “Oh wait, wait, wait,” I interrupted. “I’m starting to remember something.”

  Drew jumped off the counter and slung his leg around a kitchen chair. “Hit me.”

  “The day we met at the airport, I was holding his wallet, remember? And you were so glad that I had it because you thought it was stolen?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Then you said something about a poem he kept in his wallet. You said it was like his American Express card. He never left home without it.”

  “Okay.”

  “And you mentioned the name. You said it was ‘My Sky’. That’s where I heard it.” I clapped.

  “To tell you the truth, I don’t remember that. The whole day is still a blur. But did I say it was a song?”

  “No.”

  “And you think it’s a song because…”

  “I wish I could tell you. I don’t know. Maybe I dreamt it.”

  We sat quietly, contemplating the insanity of this conversation. Nothing was making sense, yet neither of us thought the other was crazy. It was just giving us a reason to bond. And it was nice. I liked watching Drew, deep in thought, slicking back his hair. I liked watching him stare off into space, then look at me with that dazzling, dentist-chair smile. So I don’t know what possessed me to break the mood by saying something stupid.

  “This is by far the strangest house I’ve ever been in,” I blurted.

  “I agree.” He laughed. “But why do you think so?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe because it’s so quiet? I feel like I’m the only guest in this huge hotel.”

  “You are the only guest.”

  “I know, but people do live here.”

  “Only two. My mom and Delia. My dad pretty much moved out.”

  “I heard.”

  “But what the hell? The place is up for sale. Soon it will be someone else’s hotel.”

  “Will you miss it?”

  “Maybe, maybe not. I love the walk down to the ocean. And I guess I’ll miss my room.”

  “Oh, I know. Look at me. I’ve only been here a few days, and I’ll miss it, too.”

  Drew jumped up.

  “What is it?”

  “My room. I just thought of something.”

  “Tell me.”

  “He did once write some music for a poem.”

  “Are you serious? You mean for ‘My Sky’?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  “But what does that have to do with your room?”

  “I remember now I had gotten this little dinky tape recorder for my birthday one year, and he asked if he could borrow it because he wrote this song, and he wanted to be able to remember it.”

  “Okay.”

  “So he sat down at the piano, he made the tape, and then he handed it to me and said, ‘Here. I want you to have this.’”

  “That was sweet. So what was on it?”

  “Who knows? I never even listened to it. But I bet it’s in my desk somewhere. Which, if I know my mom, it’s part of the Drew Fabrikant permanent exhibit…velvet ropes and a sign that says don’t touch.”

  “Your desk?” Noooooo. Don’t look in your desk. You might notice things got moved around.

  “You know what?” Drew said. “Why don’t we go up there and look for it?”

  “Um…maybe later? It’s sort of a mess.”

  “Are you kidding? You think it was any different with me? Until I moved out, I had no idea what color the carpet was. C’mon. Let’s go check it out. I know a shortcut.”

  “A shortcut? Are you serious? You have a shortcut to your room?” I giggled. “At my house, it takes me exactly six seconds to go from the front door to my room. Ten if I stop for my mail.”

  “Then I’m insanely jealous.” He grabbed my hand and ran. “If we leave now, we can get to mine before sunset.”

  Drew wasn’t joking. There really was a shortcut to his bedroom. Could you imagine living in a place so big that you had choices on how to get around? Not that I had time to think about this, for as soon as we reached his room, he closed the door.

  “Are you mad at me for something?” He looked me in the eye. “I really have to know.”

  “No, of course not. Why would you even say that?”

  “To show you how annoying it is every time you ask me the same thing.” He stroked my hair.

  “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be annoying. I just really like you, and your opinion of me means everything to me.”

  “And I feel the same…which is why I have an important question for you.”

  “Okay.”

  “Would it be all right if I kissed you?”

  Duh. Hello? Can’t you hear my heart pounding? “I think so.”

  “But you’re not sure?”

  “Just tell me this. Am I the first girl you ever made out with up here?”

  “No. Sorry.” He laughed. “There have been hundreds, maybe thousands of girls up here. I was importing them from Taiwan. But none that I cared about as much as you.”

  “That’s what you said to all of them.”

  “No. Only one.”

  “Marly?”

  “Actually, no. Now that I think of it, she was never up here.”

  “Are you serious? How come?”

  “I don’t know. I guess she never expressed much interest in my past.”

  “I love your past, and I want to know everything…. So who was the one girl who mattered?”

  “Oh. Um…that would be Lyssa Schneider. We were fourteen. She was amazing. Beautiful. Smart. She could make me laugh, no matter what was going on with my life. Just like you do.”

  “And this was your make-out headquarters?”

  “Nope. Never touched her. I wanted to, but I was afraid if I made a move, she’d hate me and leave. That’s why I’m asking permission now. I don’t want to do anything that would make you leave.”

  I grabbed Drew, placed his arms around my waist, and gently kissed him, rocking to a rhythm of desire that I had never felt before.

  Normally a first real kiss is awkward, something you rush, so that you can establish mutual lust, and then explore more interesting territory. But I never wanted this moment to end. I wanted to remember how soft his lips felt. How perfectly they aligned with mine, like a matched set. How safe I felt in his strapping arms, as if our bodies were meant to be joined.

  But mostly what I loved was that he did not presume that kissing me also gave him the keys to the kingdom. It did not give him permission to unfasten my bra or run his hand down the front of my panties. Nor did he presume that I would want to unzip his shorts.

  “Thank you.” He brushed my hair from my cheek. “That was…I don’t know. The greatest kiss of my life.”

  I smiled.

  “I swear, if I didn’t get to do that, I would have always wondered what it would be like, and it would have killed me.”

  “Me, too.”

  “There is something about you, Claire. I feel this unexplainable connection, and I have since the minute I saw you in the airport.”

  “Me, too.”

  “But I don’t know…it just wouldn’t make any sense, you and me. We’re related now. I’ve been through this a thousand times in my head. You’re l
ike the forbidden fruit.”

  “No. No, I’m not…. I’ve thought about this, too. There are no bloodlines here. We’re cousins by coincidence.”

  “Cousins by coincidence.” He laughed. “Sounds like a support group.”

  “This isn’t funny…and it’s not fair. You can’t kiss me like you just did, get me so crazy I want to rip my clothes off, then tell me, you’re great Claire, but I can’t be with you.”

  “You want to rip your clothes off?”

  “Well, no. Not if it’s just so you could satisfy your curiosity of what it would be like to make love to me so you could get it out of your system, and then go back to screwing Nicole—” Oops.

  “How do you know about Nicole? Never mind. I know. It was Delia. I swear that girl has the biggest mouth.”

  “Shhh. Stop. It’s not about Nicole. It’s not about anyone but you and me.”

  “We don’t even know each other.”

  “But I know what’s in my heart, and you do, too. That’s why you kissed me. Because something is happening here, and even though the circumstances that brought us together are bizarre, this is real. Every time I see you, my heart races. My knees get weak. My head practically explodes with this deep desire…. And I know I sound like a Hallmark card I wouldn’t be caught dead sending, but I really believe that we were meant to be together, no matter how odd it appears to everyone else.”

  “I don’t know what to say…. It’s been such a crazy few weeks…. I thought that Marly and I had gotten past all our old problems, but they won’t go away…. The whole time I was with her in Bermuda, I was wondering how you were managing. And then I’d think, how the hell am I going to build a life with her if I can’t stop thinking about you?”

  “Now, that’s more like it.”

  I kissed him again, and he held me as if he would never let go. But this time I heard music. A strange melody that sounded eerily familiar, yet I couldn’t place.

  “Do you hear that?” I whispered.

  “The music?”

  I nodded.

  “Are we both losing our minds? It’s a like a waltz or something. Where is it coming from?”

  I pointed to the sky. “And how weird would that be if we found out it was called ‘My Sky’?”

  Chapter 25

  YOU HAD TO SEE THE LOOK ON DREW’S FACE WHEN HE DISCOVERED AN old black cassette tape in the top drawer of his desk. Oddly, it had been there all these years, right under a pack of unopened baseball cards and the invitation to Jeremy Finkelstein’s bar mitzvah at the Fountainbleau Hotel.

  The cassette wasn’t labeled, but when he held it under the light, we were able to make out the scribbled message: To Drew. Love Pops. March 1, 1987.

  “This is it.” His hand was shaking.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah. I remember it now. It’s definitely the tape he made me.”

  “We have to listen to it. Do you have a cassette player?”

  “Not anymore. That’s like trying to find an eight-track player…. I guess we could run out to Target and buy one.”

  “You love Target?” I clapped.

  “I don’t know if I love it, but I’m always running in there for something.”

  “Oh, me too. See how much we have in common? Don’t they have the cutest things?”

  “No, you’re the cutest thing.” He stroked my cheek. “Marly would never have been caught dead in a store that discounted.”

  “Perfect. Then there’s no chance I’ll ever run into her…. Hey, wait. What about your car? Maybe you have a cassette deck in there. I do in mine.”

  “No, but you know what? You’re brilliant. I’m almost positive Pops’ Caddy has one.”

  “Great. Give me a few minutes to shower and change, we’ll go get his car, and then, if you don’t mind, I’d really like to go visit Grams. I’m worried about how she’s doing.”

  “Actually, she’s doing great. I saw her this morning.”

  “Are you serious? You went to visit my grandmother?”

  “Sort of. I mean, yes, I wanted to see how she was doing, but I went over there to pick up some more boxes. She kind of moved in before we had a chance to clean everything out.”

  “Oh. So how is she?”

  “Happy as a clam. She’s made so many friends already, you’d think she was there for years.”

  “My grandmother made friends? Are you sure you had the right apartment?”

  “Yeah.” He laughed. “It was the right place. If you want, we can run over there later.”

  “I can’t believe how wonderful you are. You just got back from a trip, and the first thing you did was something so sweet.”

  “It wasn’t exactly the first thing I did,” he sighed. “The first thing I did was change my locks.”

  “Uh-huh…. Does that mean things with Marly are going to get ugly?”

  “If I had to guess? Yes.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “That’s a definite no…but here’s another thought. I might actually have the cassette player Pops used to make this. If I did, it would be in my room somewhere. I swear my mother threw nothing out, like it was a shrine…. Feel like going through my stuff to look for it?”

  “Oh no. I couldn’t do that. I wouldn’t want to invade your privacy.”

  “Nice try.” He tousled my hair. “I already know that you went through my drawers.”

  “What are you talking about?” My acting ability should get me out of this one.

  “Delia told me she found you going through my desk.”

  Or maybe not. “Why, that little…”

  “I told you she had a big mouth. And you, Claire, are very naughty.” He winked.

  “Are you going to send me to my room?” I whispered.

  “You mean my room. But that’s right—since you were caught trespassing, you should be punished. Unless I decide to give you time off for good behavior.”

  “I’d rather have time off for bad behavior.” My hand went right to his crotch, and he laughed.

  “Better be careful there. Messing with the judge could get you in trouble.”

  “Exactly.” I let my fingers do the talking.

  “Whoa. Down, girl.” He moaned. “How about we start with first base?”

  “I like first base.” I kissed him. “But I’m also a great home run hitter.”

  “I’m sure you are…. But maybe this is a little soon. We should wait.”

  “No.” I tugged at his T-shirt.

  “No?”

  “I’ve waited my whole life to meet someone like you.” My hand traveled south on a heat-seeking mission. “I think that’s long enough.”

  “But don’t you want the first time to be romantic? Some wine, some good music…”

  “This is romantic. We’re sneaking a quickie in your old room.”

  “I don’t want a quickie. I want a longie.”

  “We can have both.” I wrestled with his shirt and shorts until they made a heap on the floor.

  “Uh-oh. You’re making a mess.” He laughed. “My mom’s going to get mad.”

  “Good. Maybe she’ll sentence me to more time in your room.” I lowered his briefs until the very essence of his being was in my hands.

  “You…I…This…”

  “Shhhh.”

  “Oh my God.” He groaned as I fell to my knees. “You don’t know what you’re doing to me.”

  “I think I do.”

  “Claire, no, really.” He closed his eyes. “Oh my God. You are amazing…. But c’mon. This is too important not to do it right. We should wait…we need condoms…”

  “Third drawer on the left.” I giggled.

  “You mean the ones from ninth grade?” He tried not to laugh. “I think they’ve expired by now.”

  I stopped. “You’re serious about this. You don’t want to make love to me?”

  “I’m dying to make love to you. But not here. Not now.”

  “Then can we stop at Target and stock up
on condoms?” I stood.

  “As many as you can fit in the basket.” He kissed me.

  “Okay. You’re right. We’re not kids anymore—we can actually do this anytime we want.”

  “Thank you.”

  “But will you at least take a shower with me? To make sure I don’t fall again?”

  “Sure.” He smiled. “I wouldn’t want you to get hurt.”

  “And, of course, there are still some spots I can’t reach….”

  “You mean behind your ears?” He swatted my butt.

  “Not even close.” I ran my hands down his bare chest.

  You have no idea how much I love shopping at Target. Or Tar-czay, as it’s called in L.A. They have the coolest pocketbooks and accessories, and no one can tell that you bought them in a place that also sells light-bulbs and motor oil.

  But nothing is better than making a Target run for toiletries and condoms with a man you are so hot for, you’re counting the seconds until you can rip off his clothes and rub him down with the whipped cream you bought in aisle eleven.

  Drew, on the other hand, had a great deal more integrity than me. He was not only a man who stuck to his shopping list, but to his guns. Even in the shower he was a man of his word. He kissed and caressed every inch of my body, then dried me off as if I were a tender infant. But he wouldn’t commit to the final act, and you know as well as me, a naked man can’t hide his rock-hard desire.

  How could I not love a guy who showed that much restraint? Or even better, who was such a good little shopper, that he knew that Target’s 100 percent Egyptian cotton towels were of a much better quality than the ones sold at leading department stores? I swear, by the time we reached the checkout, I was weak with anticipation.

  But no more so than when we went back to his place, picked up the keys to Pops’ car, and drove down A1A to the ocean. I couldn’t imagine him wanting to go to a crowded beach right now, and sure enough, he took a circuitous route, ending up at a spot not only breathtaking, but secluded.

  “You wanted to be a first.” He turned off the engine. “I’ve never brought anyone here.”

  “It’s so peaceful…. How did you find it?”

  “I didn’t. Pops did. He used to bring me here so we could fish. We never caught much. I don’t think the fish could find the place. But we’d talk a lot, and he’d tell me great stories.”