by NJ Cole
Chapter Thirteen
Raven
I’d never been happier in my life. It had been scary to remove my tail to go to dinner, but it had been so fun. Kade and I had talked and shared food. I didn’t ever want the night to end, and I even considered keeping my tail out when we went to bed, but I wasn’t sure how to be myself in bed and I didn’t want to ruin what had already been a perfect evening.
We’d had amazing sex and had spent time together in bed in a way that I never knew two people could. I felt myself letting my guard down. I’d gone three nights in a row without nightmares. So when he and I were on our picnic, I was willing to remove my tail again.
It wasn’t the first time I’d ever had sex without my tail, but it was the first time I’d ever had sex without my tail willingly. The others, I’d been too young to really remember, but I did know that when I said no to my father, it only made him angry and it hurt worse.
Kade was nothing like my father. He’d never gotten angry with me. Sure, he’d gotten mad, but it was at the two men who had hurt me. He’d always been gentile, kind, and patient.
After I’d decided to remove my tail and jump in the water, he took my body in such a romantic way. He held me in the water and brought me so much pleasure. I wouldn’t have ever gotten out if Kade wouldn’t have insisted. I was shivering and I knew he was cold too.
It didn’t end though, we made love on the blanket and laid there all afternoon. I would have stayed there all night, but he brought us into the house. It had been a perfect day. I was thinking the next might be like that too, but then everything changed.
He told me to do some chores in the house. I realized I had been neglecting them, from when I’d been hurt and then the day by the stream. Looking back on it, I had to wonder, had I gotten up and cleaned up more, would he have gotten upset and wanted me gone? Was it that he’d gotten bored of me? Maybe I hadn’t performed, as he liked by the stream. In the end, I realized it was the one thing that had been different. I’d removed my tail and had been myself. It was right after that he messaged Seth to come and get me. I think that’s what made it hurt the most. Just when I’d let someone see the real me, even if it was for just a minute, he didn’t like it.
I was glad my tail was in to protect me from my feelings when Seth came. When Master came. It’s easier to go in my shell with my tail in. Master grabbed me. Shell.
He fucked me. It hurt.
Kade on porch. No smile.
Blue eyes bye.
Raven gone. Pet is me.
Pet is hard now that I felt things. Never missed things I didn’t know existed.
Keep.
Tail.
In.
Chapter Fourteen
Kade
It had been nearly three weeks since Raven had gone home. I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t feeling any better. I was, but not much, but I think it was more that I was getting used to how awful I’d felt.
I’d been in such a good mood too, when I was on my way home to play with her. I’d wanted to talk to Seth first, so that I could tell her that she’d be over a lot more, but that never happened.
I can’t even begin to describe the feeling of opening my front door to find him fucking Raven’s ass. She wasn’t screaming, though it appeared she was crying. I probably stood there for a full minute watching him fuck her before she noticed me. When she did, it wasn’t like at the club, where she looked to me for help. She turned her head away quickly, like there was something she didn’t want me to see. Maybe it had been a look of pleasure. Maybe she’d just had an orgasm.
Seth, on the other hand, wanted me to see it all. He’d shown me her gaping asshole and the cum all over her. “God, I love it when they look like that. Don’t you?”
Her asshole did look good, but seeing it like that, from him, bothered me. I nodded my head though, not even sure how to begin to explain to him why it upset me he was fucking her ass when I barely understood it myself.
Seth pulled up his pants and had Raven stand. She wouldn’t even look at me. I was so fucking confused. What had just happened? I understood her being with Seth. He was her master, but why was she looking away from me? Seth didn’t seem to notice, or if he did, he didn’t say anything. “Do you mind if she takes a quick shower before we get going?” he’d asked.
I shook my head. “Not at all. Take your time.”
Raven headed up the stairs, not looking back.
I watched her disappear into her room at the top of the stairs and heard the water from her shower turn on. She’d been using my bath for the last week, but I guess she was back to using her own.
“I’m sorry I was gone so long and she ended up staying here, and I’m really sorry about what happened with those two guys. I had no clue they’d do that,” Seth said.
“It was no problem. I enjoyed having her here.” I was going to tell him that I wanted her to stay, to come back at least once a month, but there seemed no point if she wasn’t even looking at me.
“Thanks so much for all you did. Clearly, things went wrong though.”
That much was obvious.
He glanced at the phone that was sitting on the table where I’d left it for Raven to use. “I got the texts...well, I’ll just grab her things and go.”
I nodded. Well there it was. I’d left her the phone and rather than texting me, she texted Seth to come and get her. I still had no clue what I’d done wrong, what I’d done to make her call him like that, but what could I do? I couldn’t run upstairs and ask another man’s girl why she called him and asked him to pick her up. Part of me wanted to explain to her exactly how I felt, how she’d made me feel, but she had to know, and that’s probably what I’d done wrong. I’d assumed she’d felt the same way back, and maybe she had to some degree and it had bothered her to feel that way. She belonged to Seth, she loved him. It wasn’t that she didn’t know how I felt, it was that she did, and she wanted Seth. My feelings for her ad upset her so much that she’d messaged Seth to come get her. Yes, she wanted him. Clearly, she had, because there he was, in my living room with his cock buried in her ass.
There went any idea of me asking for visitation. I wasn’t going to force Raven to serve me even though it was likely that Seth would have said yes. In fact, not a minute later he did offer to have her blow me. I declined. Before, having her submit to me was a turn on. Now knowing that she didn’t want to, made it lose its appeal. I wasn’t into forcing women.
I started to think about how I didn’t fuck her because I was trying to make this afternoon special. How had I been so wrong about things? I felt so stupid, but not nearly as bad as I felt when he pulled out an envelope with money in it. I didn’t want money for having her stay with me and I told him so. I also told him that she was more than welcome in my home and that I’d have her back anytime. That made him smile, but his response made it clear he wasn’t going to send her back.
It hadn’t been any sort of an inconvenience. It had been an eye opening event. It hadn’t turned out how I’d imagined, but I did have, what was, hands down, the best month of my life. It was over though, and there was no point in dwelling on it. It was time to move forward now. “Why don’t I go grab her cage and a few things from my room. She doesn’t have much out down here.”
I’d gone upstairs to get her cage and things from my room, but also to see Raven. There was part of me that wanted to talk to her, to hear it from her, but when I got to the top of the stairs, I could hear her shower going. I went to grab the cage and things in the room. By the time I’d returned, Seth told me she was in the car. She hadn’t even said goodbye. I think that was the most painful part. I tried to hold it together and not show any emotions as I helped Seth load the crate into the car. Raven was sitting in the front seat. I was going to go and at least say goodbye. Tell her that she’d been a great house guest and a great submissive, something, anything to put some sort of closure on what had, in my mind been somewhat equivalent to a 4 week scene. But when I approached the pas
senger door, I could see her head was down and she was crying. Clearly, I’d brought her to tears. There was no need to say anything further. I felt awful for making her feel that way. I turned to Seth. “I don’t even know…”
Seth stopped me and apologized for her behavior saying she was different. Well she was different. She was very special, but I didn’t need to tell him that. He already knew. He kind of laughed it off and said that it wasn’t anything that a good fucking wouldn’t fix. It made me sick to think about that, but I had to let go. She wasn’t mine, and she didn’t want to be. I had to give her back. I’d been ‘pet sitting’ and when you pet sit, no matter how much you liked the pet, you had to give them back when their owners returned.
He said something about bringing anything she left to the club and I nodded, dumbly. Before I knew it, they were pulling down the driveway. I watched the car go, not able to take my eyes off of it. I thought I saw Raven turn around and watch me too, but with the sunlight on the back window making a glare, I wasn’t sure.
I stood on the porch a long time after the car was gone, maybe an hour. I couldn’t bring myself to go inside. I knew it would feel empty, and it did. I felt like crying, but I wasn’t about to cry over a woman that didn’t even want me. I was more angry, and not even angry with her, angry with myself for wanting something I couldn’t have and for even letting myself think it was possible.
Years ago, women had wanted a relationship with me and I’d wanted no part of it. I’d known something was missing, and that something was BDSM. Now I had the BDSM and I seemed to want a relationship. I shook my head. I was happier when I was just fucking and dominating. That’s what I needed to get back to. That and work.
So for the next few days, all I did was work. I tried to lose myself in new accounts and other issues at work. I still worked from home, even though Raven wasn’t there, which was probably a bad idea in hindsight. I hadn’t wanted to go into work the day after I set everything up to work from home 4 days a week and say I’d changed my mind. I’d look like I’d lost my mind. But the more I was home, the more upset I got. I’d go from nostalgia when I saw something that reminded me of her to anger at myself for feeling that way.
I’d eaten every bit of leftovers she’d made like it was my last meal, and when I did find things that were hers, a pair of panties mixed in with my laundry, her shampoo she’d left in the shower, her sandals that had been by the back door, I’d put them in a pile, but not after smelling all three. It was embarrassing to say that I’d sunk that low. I’d even wished that I’d found the panties before I’d washed them. How fucked up was it that I wanted a pair of her dirty panties so I could smell them and jerk off to it? What the fuck has happened to me? I didn’t like it, and I had to change it.
I took out my phone and texted Jessica. I’d cancelled poker after that first time when Raven had been here. Raven had been hurt, and then when she’d gotten better, I wasn’t sure about sharing her again, so I hadn’t seen the guys or Jessica since I’d fucked her ass.
“Are you a good girl?” I sent it to Jessica’s number.
“Who is this?” she responded.
She hadn’t given me her number. I got it off her Facebook page. Not really the safest thing in the world.
“It’s the guy who owns your ass.” I attached the pic of the plug in her ass.
“What do you want?” she texted back quickly.
“I want you to tell me if you’re a good girl or not. And then if you are, I want you to be at my house in an hour, standing on my porch nude. I will bring you into my house, lead you to my play room, use and abuse your body, fuck all three of your holes, and then send you home. Should I expect you?”
It wasn’t 15 seconds before I got a, “Yes, Sir.”
She didn’t disappoint. She was on my porch in less than forty-five minutes. She stood there awkwardly and rang the bell.
“You’re not nude,” I said through the closed door.
I saw her start to protest, but she thought better of it, and removed her clothing. I left her stand out there for a full minute before opening the door. I didn’t say a word, just grabbed her hair and pulled her through the house to the basement steps. I was a bit more careful going down, but when we got in my playroom, I pulled her to the cross.
I wasted no time on ceremony. Her hands were bound, as were her ankles, spreading her wide on the cross so she was a human X. I began flogging her. I loved the sounds of the leather hitting her skin and the sound of her screams. It was wrong though. Her hair was the wrong color, her skin the wrong tone, and her screaming, was just that, screaming.
Cursing, I tossed the flogger down and moved behind her. Reaching around, I grabbed her tits and started squeezing hard as my cock rubbed against her body. I nearly rammed it in raw, but I didn’t know Jessica well, and what I did know, I didn’t particularly like. She was great to use, but I didn’t want a child with her and I had no clue if she was on birth control.
It only took me a few seconds to wrap my cock and I was once again, pinching and twisting her nipples. My cock worked his way into her pussy fucking hard and fast. I fucked her so hard that she started to squirt. It was going everywhere. I should have loved it, but it was only mildly pleasurable. I pulled out of her pussy and worked my way into her ass. All I could picture as I pushed into her tight hole was how Raven had looked in my living room with Seth in her ass. Was he doing that to her every day? Were they doing that right now? I knew I shouldn’t be thinking about it, yet it seemed to be all I thought about.
Jessica’s screams brought me back to reality. I’d been fucking her way too hard, but she’d seemed to like it. I pulled out of her ass, and watched it close. Seth was right, that part was great.
Pulling on the quick releases, I unclipped her wrists and ankles, still leaving them in the cuffs and moved her over to the sex swing. Her eyes went wide when I put her in it and strapped her ankles up over her head. She was nearly folded in half, basically looking like just an ass and pussy. I had fun fucking her ass a bit more, before removing the condom and spinning the swing so that I could fuck her mouth. I played with her pussy, giving her two more orgasms. In the end, I pulled out and slapped her cheeks with my wet cock. I hadn’t come, and I knew I wasn’t going to just like the time before. There was a chance it was Jessica. I found her physically attractive, but there was little else about her that I liked. The more likely reason I couldn’t come was Raven.
After releasing Jessica from the swing and walking her out, I sat on the couch in introspection. What advice would I give someone who was in my situation? Ironically, this wasn’t a new thing. It happened quite often, and usually I was on the receiving end. A submissive would fall for me and want something I couldn’t give. I was no different than they were. I fell for her and I wanted something from Raven she couldn’t give. The advice I’d given the women who had told me that was to try to move on or wait a month and see if they still felt that way. As I’d said before, none had still felt that way, and maybe I wouldn’t with Raven either.
I didn’t bother calling up Jessica again, or any other girl. I figured I’d just do my time, and wait for the memories of her to fade, and once they were gone, I’d be back to my old self.
And that’s what I did. I focused on everything but her. Yes, it’s true that I’d be working on my computer and a cloud might move, making a shadow, and I’d glance up, expecting Raven to be standing there, and more than once, I’d woken in the night positive she was in my bed, only to find it empty, but for the most part, I was moving on.
I’d skipped the club though. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to go. I did. I missed my friends there, and I missed the lifestyle, but I didn’t want to bump into Raven. I didn’t think it would help me, and there was a part of me, that was afraid that if I saw her and Seth offered for her to play with me for a bit, I’d take him up on it. As much as I wanted to feel her mouth on me one last time, or feel her pussy on my cock one more time, I didn’t want to open this wound again.
>
There was another factor to consider as well. Raven. She’d been upset when she left here. I didn’t want to upset her at the club. It wouldn’t be good for either of us. So I’d stayed away.
Three weeks after she’d left, I wouldn’t say I was better, but I was better than I had been when she’d left. I’d immersed myself in work. A new merger was going on, and I was trying to get the upper hand. The phone had been going off all day between texts and calls. I hadn’t even looked at the caller ID before answering.
“Oh, so you do live.” It was Kennedy. I’d been avoiding her calls and texts.
I chuckled, trying to blow it off. “Yeah, I live. I’ve just been really busy with work. I’d let a lot of things slide when Raven was here.” It was true, I had.
“Not even enough time for a phone call?” I could hear the Domme in her voice.
“I’m sorry. My bad.”
“Well, okay.” She paused. “I wanted to make sure you were okay. I hadn’t seen you at the club in a few weeks. I heard about what had happened with Raven the last time you’d been there. Have you found a new club? It wasn’t their fault you know.”
“I know. I’ve just been busy.”
“Okay, well are you coming tomorrow?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.” I had no intention of going, but I hoped it would appease her.
“Good. Seth called earlier and he hoped you’d be there.”
Now that had my curiosity peaked. “Seth? Why?”
“Well apparently, Raven isn’t any better.”
My heart went into panic mode. “What do you mean not better? Is she hurt or sick?” I knew my speech was fast and my pitch slightly elevated.
“No, she’s fine physically,” Kennedy said, reassuring me. “He’s talking about her mental state, her mood. He said he’d tried everything and then recently he got a clue to what it might be about. He said he wanted to talk to you about it.”