A Family of Her Own

by Brenda Novak

  “We did that fifteen minutes ago,” she replied.

  “Can we do it again? I’m waiting for someone.” Katie cast a hopeful glance toward the door, listening, as she had during the past few hours, for the approach of booted feet. She wanted Booker to see Troy now that he was a day old. She felt certain Booker would come. He’d been so good to her during the delivery, so strong and determined when she needed him most. His tenderness toward her throughout the whole affair indicated he cared about her, at least a little. Enough for a visit to the hospital, surely.

  “I’d like to let your baby stay longer, Ms. Rogers,” the nurse said. “But I’m afraid he’s been out long enough.”

  Stifling any further complaint, Katie relinquished her son. It was nearly ten o’clock, which was pretty late for Booker to arrive in Boise, anyway. Especially when he was facing a two-hour ride back. She’d probably been wrong to think he’d bother with such a long trip now that he knew she was in good hands.

  Suddenly far more tired than she’d been only moments before, she decided to get some sleep. But once the nurse and the baby were gone, the hospital noises seemed amplified. How was she supposed to rest with so much activity going on right outside her door? Instruments beeping, rattling carts, low voices, nurses coming in every couple of hours to take her blood pressure, check her heart rate and monitor her bleeding….

  Massaging her stomach the way the nurse had shown her earlier, to make sure her uterus was contracting as it should, she rolled over and stared at the wall, thinking of her family. Should she call them with the news of Troy’s birth? She hadn’t wanted to include her parents in her pregnancy. She’d wanted to stay completely away from them. But now that the baby was here, it seemed petty to withhold him from them, to withhold them from each other.

  She looked at the phone, wondering how her parents might receive her call. She wasn’t sure she could endure much emotional upset tonight. But if her parents were even slightly positive, she thought it might be best to make peace. All the books she’d read said that grandparents and aunts and uncles were very important to a child.

  Lifting the phone, she started to dial. But she didn’t have a credit card that would let her make a long distance call, and she couldn’t bring herself to call collect. Not after the way things had ended at the restaurant.

  After replacing the handset, she got up and went to the bathroom. Seeing her messy hair and gaunt-looking face in the mirror, she tried to convince herself she was glad Booker hadn’t come. It didn’t quite work, but when she climbed back into bed she fell asleep at last.

  KATIE FELT AS THOUGH she’d been sleeping for only about ten minutes when she heard a man’s voice calling her name. She struggled into wakefulness, thinking Booker had finally come. He was here. He hadn’t forgotten her. He was just later than she’d expected….

  But when she opened her heavy lids and blinked, the blurry figure standing over her bed came into focus and she realized it wasn’t Booker at all. It was Mike Hill, holding a vase of tiger lilies. He was dressed in the same kind of clothes he wore most of the time—a blue button-down shirt, a parka and a pair of Wranglers—but he looked rumpled and unshaven.

  She’d never seen him looking rumpled and unshaven….

  “Mike,” she murmured, her brow furrowing. “What are you doing here?”

  “Booker left a message on my voice mail telling me you had the baby, so I—”

  “Booker called you?”

  “Yeah. He thought I’d want to know, and he was right.” He set the flowers on her bedside table.

  “Thanks,” she said, “but he shouldn’t have bothered you. You were away on business—”

  “I’ve already seen the horse and agreed we should buy it. Rebecca and Josh said they’d handle the rest.”

  “Oh.” She fumbled for the remote that controlled her bed, found it buried under the covers and pushed the button that would raise her into a sitting position. The light of day gleamed around the closed blinds, but she knew it was still early. “What time is it? You must’ve come the moment you heard.”

  “It’s nearly eight-thirty. I was lucky enough to catch a red-eye out of Austin. And I had my car at the airport, so I was able to drive right over.”

  “That’s good.” Obviously he’d gone to a lot of trouble….

  “How’s the baby?” he asked.

  A smile curved Katie’s lips. “Great. Want me to call a nurse so you can see him?”

  “You bet.”

  She pressed the button that signaled the nurse. “So, Rebecca and Josh are staying in Austin a few more days?”

  “They want to continue meeting with the stallion’s owner, see what they can negotiate. This horse is special. We’d love to buy him, but at this point, the owner’s asking more than we’re willing to pay.”

  Katie knew Mike and Josh owned a couple of million-dollar studs, so she couldn’t imagine how much that might be. “I see.”

  Mike scowled as he sat in the recliner next to her bed. “When I returned Booker’s call last night, he mentioned something about Andy stealing your computer.”

  “Can you believe that?” She wrinkled her nose in disgust.

  “Don’t worry about it. I’ll get it back for you.”

  “I’m sure he’s sold it by now. I don’t think there’s any chance of getting it back. I’m just hoping he stays away. If he leaves me and the baby alone for a year, it’s considered abandonment and I can petition the court to revoke his parental rights.”

  “Sounds like you’ve been checking into legalities.”

  “I’ve pulled up a few things on the Internet. I need to talk to a lawyer to double-check that what I’ve read applies to the state of Idaho, but I’m pretty sure it does.”

  “Do you think Andy will come back into your life at some point and give you trouble?”

  “He wanted me to have an abortion when I got pregnant, so I know he’s not interested in being a father right now. But he could change his mind later on.”

  “Would that be so bad—if he straightened up, I mean?”

  “I don’t know. He used to be a decent enough guy, before the drugs and the parties and all that. Maybe he’ll find that person again. But maybe he won’t. Either way, I don’t want to deal indefinitely with the possibility that he could show up here and interfere in my child’s life.”

  “What about his folks?”

  “I plan on calling them in a few weeks and giving them a choice as to whether or not they want to be involved in their grandson’s life. From what I know of them, they’re basically good people. I feel I owe them that much.”

  “Sounds pretty generous to me.”

  “It’s fair.” She gazed at the vibrant lilies, wondering if she should tell him that Mary had been the instigator of Andy’s appearance at her cabin. Finally she decided to broach the subject. “Are you still dating Mary?”

  His scowl darkened as he stripped off his parka. “I told you, we were never really seeing each other—certainly not on a regular basis.”

  “I don’t think she understands that.”

  “She should. I’ve never indicated that I’m interested in anything other than being friends.”

  “Well, you might want to give her a call and…I don’t know, straighten out a few things.”

  “Why?”

  “She seems to believe I’m getting in the way of your relationship. She told Andy that you’re providing more than a place for me to live, which is why he felt justified in taking the computer. She also said some other stuff—un-warranted stuff.”

  “Like what?”

  She chuckled as though it was too incredulous to believe. “She intimated that I’m offering something more personal than Web services in exchange for rent.”

  “She thinks we’ve been having sex?”

  “I guess so.” Katie grinned. “She doesn’t realize that you look at me as a little sister.”

  His gaze lingered on her face, his eyes assessing. “I don’t look at you t
hat way…anymore.”

  Katie caught her breath. When she was only a teenager, she’d made a list of the perfect man’s attributes. Mike fit every category. Handsome. Loyal. Brave. Sexy. He had a college education, a great reputation and he came from a good family. He was even rich.

  But some traits seemed more important to her now than others, and Booker seemed to possess all the ones that really mattered. Maybe he wasn’t nearly as “perfect” as Mike—at least not according to the obvious criteria. He had a dysfunctional family and a dark past. He cursed a lot and sometimes drank too much. But he was every bit as handsome and, to her, even sexier because of his rough edges. Now when Katie imagined the ideal man, she pictured Booker carrying her into the bathroom to make her take a bath when she couldn’t get out of bed on her own; Booker’s cut and swollen hands the night he came to Delbert’s rescue; the wonder that had dawned on his face when he’d touched her pregnant belly; Booker supporting her shaky legs and telling her not to be scared when she was delivering Troy in the middle of nowhere.

  “Mike, I—”

  The nurse walked into the room. “Do you need me, Ms. Rogers?”

  Katie decided to let her conversation with Mike go, for the moment. He was afraid of commitment, anyway. She didn’t have to worry about him pressing for more than she was willing to give. “How’s my baby?” she asked the nurse.

  “He’s doing great.”

  “Any chance we can see him?”

  “Sure. It’s time to nurse again. I was just trying to give you a few more minutes because I thought you were still sleeping.”

  The nurse bestowed a friendly smile on Mike, to acknowledge his presence, and said she’d be right back.

  “I’m glad Booker was around to get you to the hospital,” Mike said as she disappeared through the door.

  “He wasn’t too happy when we had to pull over.”

  Leaning forward, he rested his elbows on his knees and let his hands dangle between his legs. “Something go wrong with the car?”

  “What?”

  “Why’d you have to pull over?”

  She looked at him more closely. “To have the baby.”

  “You didn’t make it to the hospital?”

  “No. I delivered in Booker’s truck.”

  Pushing his hat back, Mike scratched his head. “Really? And how did Booker handle that?”

  “He was…incredible. He took charge of the whole situation.”

  Mike’s eyebrows rose. “I’ll be damned. Booker said you went into labor out at the ranch and couldn’t reach me, so you called him and he drove you to the hospital. That’s it. He didn’t say anything about delivering the baby on the way.”

  “He wouldn’t,” Katie said, still thinking of possible motives for Booker to have called Mike in the first place. “You’d have to know Booker to understand how he downplays everything.”

  At the naked admiration that rang through her voice, a curious expression claimed Mike’s face, and she knew she’d given herself away. “Things have changed since you used to wait for me to ride by on my bicycle, haven’t they?” he said.

  “I’m afraid so,” she admitted. Things had changed a lot since she was that young, but they hadn’t changed much over the past two years. She’d been in love with Booker when she left Dundee. She was in love with him now. But after what she’d been through with Andy, and what Booker had done with Ashleigh, she wasn’t sure she could trust him enough to ever tell him that. And—even if she could—considering how badly she’d hurt him, he might laugh in her face.

  Anyway, she had a son to think about and a life to rebuild. She was better off alone for the time being. Maybe Mike was coming around, but it was more than two years too late. And Booker probably felt the same way about her.

  The nurse showed up with the baby.

  “Meet Troy,” Katie told him, taking her son in her arms and turning him so Mike could see his face.

  “Troy? How’d you pick that name?” Mike asked.

  “Booker suggested it. It’s his middle name.”

  Mike’s eyebrows shot up. “You named your baby after Booker?”

  “He delivered him,” she said.

  “Is that the only reason?”

  Katie couldn’t meet his eyes.

  “Katie?”

  “What?”

  “Does Booker know how you feel?”

  “I don’t think so,” she said.

  “Well, you should tell him. He’s tough to read, but Rebecca knows him better than anyone, and she already gave you her opinion.”

  “I heard her say that Booker’s never told her how he feels. He probably cares about me the way he does about the other poor unfortunates he helps. That’s all. Anyway—” she pulled her baby’s cap down over his tiny ears “—I have enough to deal with right now, don’t you think?”

  He studied her and Troy for a minute. “Maybe you’re right.”

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  REBECCA SAT ON THE CLOSED lid of the toilet while Josh hovered over her shoulder, trying to get a glimpse of the pregnancy indicator and praying that this time it would show pink. They were in the bathroom of their Austin hotel room, doing this yet again. It seemed they’d done countless pregnancy tests over the past year—too many, in his opinion. He wanted to put the whole baby thing on hold for a while, have his wife step back and come to grips with the fact that she might never get pregnant. It tore him up inside to see the devastation on her face at each new disappointment. Somehow she’d gotten it into her head that she’d be less of a woman, less of a wife to him, if she failed to give him children. He had to convince her that he loved her for better or worse, regardless.

  But he knew, for her, it wasn’t that simple. Her insecurities stemmed from her youth and the fact that she’d never felt good enough to please her father.

  “Honey, we could always adopt, you know that, don’t you?” he said, the tension in the room increasing as they waited. “And there’s no rush.”

  She looked from the second hand on her watch to the indicator, and didn’t respond.

  “Honey?”

  “I’m pregnant this time. I know it,” she murmured. “I feel different.”

  She always said that. They’d immediately rush out to buy an in-home pregnancy test and learn that it had all been wishful thinking. Afterward, she’d be depressed for days. She’d eventually rebound and be herself for a week or two. Then the whole hope-disappointment-despair cycle would start all over again.

  “Besides—” her eyes continued to dart back and forth between the watch and the indicator “—I missed the birth of Katie’s baby. Surely fate wouldn’t be so cruel.”

  “Rebecca, I can’t keep watching you do this to yourself,” he said. “I care more about you than I do about having a baby. And this isn’t good for you. You hate needles, so the daily fertility shots are bad enough. But the pressure of this—” he sighed “—this constant trying and hoping and testing is miserable.”

  “It’s going to be worth it,” she said. “Delaney and I are going to be pregnant at the same time. You’ll see.”

  Delaney…Ever since Delaney had gotten pregnant, Rebecca had been that much worse. “I want to rethink our plan,” he said. “I want to check into adoption.”

  The indicator turned blue, and his wife’s shoulders slumped, just as he’d known they would.

  Shit! He hated this.

  “Beck, come here.” Taking her in his arms, he held her close. “Can’t we forget about trying for a baby, just for a while?”

  “Your family didn’t want you to marry me in the first place,” she said.

  “That’s got nothing to do with this. Anyway, they didn’t really know you.”

  “We grew up across the street from each other.”

  “They’re growing to love you more every day. Look at how well you and Mike are getting along.”

  “I just want a baby. Is that too much to ask?”

  “I’ve been trying to tell you that we can adopt.
Adoption is perfectly fine as far as I’m concerned.

  “But I want your baby,” she said. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

  He lifted her chin and kissed her. “I love you. But I’ll only allow you to go through this one more month. Then I’m going to insist we put everything on hold for at least a year.”

  No response. Just the tears that wet his shirt as he held her.

  “Okay?” he prompted.

  He knew she’d finally had enough, too, when he felt her nod.

  “KATIE HAD HER BABY last night. Everyone’s talking about it,” Tami told her husband as he came in the back door of the bakery after taking out the garbage.

  The closing door cut off the bright ray of afternoon sunlight that had momentarily blinded her. “Who told you?” he asked.

  “Louise over at Finley’s Grocery told Mona at Hair and Now, who told Mrs. Bertleson while she was getting her nails done.”

  “That was Mrs. Bertleson in here a minute ago?”

  “Yes.”

  “I thought she was on a diet.”

  Tami curled her fingernails into her palms. “She was buying doughnuts to take to her grandkids. Aren’t you listening to me?”

  He sighed and shoved a hand through his hair. “I heard you. Mrs. Bertleson said Katie had her baby. What is it, a boy or a girl?”

  “I don’t know. She congratulated me on becoming a grandmother. I didn’t want to let on I didn’t know about the birth of my own grandchild by asking the sex!”

  “So, what did you say?”

  “I mumbled thanks, but my heart was beating so fast I could hardly speak. It’s only April, which means Katie had the baby two months early. Two months! A baby that premature can face so many problems—”

  “If the baby wasn’t okay, Mrs. Bertleson would have said something about that, too. Word spreads fast in a town this size.” He turned his back on her and started sweeping.

  Tami struggled to ignore the way he discounted her worry, but she felt her irritation grow with every swish of his broom. “So what are we going to do?” she pressed.

  “What do you mean?”

  “We need to go to the hospital and check on Katie. We need to see about the baby, too. Barbara told me just the other day that Katie’s been staying at High Hill Ranch, creating Web sites for a living. But I’m sure she hasn’t had time to save much money.”