Body Shot (Last Shot)

by Kelly Jamieson

  “Filthy. And very concerned about appearances and keeping up with the Boston Brahmins. My poor mother never got that the old-money folks in Boston live the most inconspicuous lives. She was determined to be part of the elite society, all wrapped up in her designer clothes and mansion. My brother and I went to expensive private schools, took expensive music lessons, and tennis and golf lessons. The plan was that we would go to Harvard and get business degrees and work for Whitcomb Industries. Then after Aidan died…” He paused and she petted his shoulder. “All their hopes and dreams and expectations rested on me. Except I was never as good as Aidan. And I fucking hated that pressure, so I did everything I could to piss them off.”

  “Oh, Beck.” She pressed her lips to his chest, her own heart aching for him as a boy.

  “I never lived up to what they wanted me to do. I wanted to learn guitar, not piano. I wanted to be in a rock band. I wanted to play water polo, not go to golf camp at the country club. I didn’t want to hang out with their friends’ kids, because they were pretentious, privileged assholes.

  “After Aidan died, it was like my parents didn’t really see me. They never cared what I wanted to do with my life. My mother had always been very…poised. Not one to get ruffled easily. With Aidan gone, it was like she had no emotions left in her at all. She smiled and laughed and showed sympathy to people when it was appropriate. She certainly didn’t show me any affection, and my dad…well, he never was one to be very nurturing. The business is his life.”

  “So you’re not close with them.”

  “Not even a little.” His body had gone tense against hers, and she kept smoothing her hand over his shoulder. “I hate their life. I couldn’t wait to get away. I sure as hell didn’t stick around to go to Harvard, and when I joined the Navy they were appalled.”

  Hayden’s heart ached more. “But you didn’t just join the Navy. You became a SEAL. An elite special operations group. They should be proud of you.”

  “Yeah, not so much. My accomplishments never impressed them. But that’s okay. I didn’t become a SEAL to impress them. I just wanted to know I could be the best at something.”

  “You did it,” she whispered.

  “Yeah. They still bug me to go home and work for Whitcomb.” He paused and she sensed he had a hard time saying the next words. “Sometimes I feel guilty about that.”

  “You need to live your life the way you want to. That’s what any parent should want for their child…for him to be happy and satisfied.”

  “Yeah, like I said, you haven’t met my parents. But enough of that depressing crap. They’re on the other side of the country…” He rolled her to her back and moved over her with clear intent. Heat bloomed in her core. “And you’re right here.”

  —

  Hayden agreed to go to the spa with Carrie the next afternoon mostly because she desperately needed to talk to her.

  They sat side by side in the pedicure chairs as technicians worked on their feet, alternately soaking, buffing, and polishing the toes of each foot.

  “Okay, so what happened with Will?” Carrie asked. “How did your date with him go?”

  “Will?” She blinked at Carrie. “Oh right! Will.”

  Carrie lifted an eyebrow. “That good, huh?”

  Hayden made a guilty face. “Beck happened. Will took me to Conquistadors, and Beck wasn’t too pleased to see me there with another guy.”

  Carrie’s eyes widened. “Shut the front door. He was jealous?”

  “Well, I don’t think he’d admit to it, but apparently yes. It was okay, because Will was very nice but there wasn’t any…chemical reaction, like there is with Beck.” She sighed. “So Beck asked me to go out with him Friday night and he took me night paddleboarding.”

  “I’ve heard of that! It sounds really cool.”

  “It was amazing.” She described the experience. “Then just as we were getting back to shore, I fell in. He took me home to get dry clothes and we ended up having a shower.”

  “Together?”

  Hayden blinked and glanced at Julia filing her toenail. Julia looked up at her and winked. “Honey, go ahead, I’ve heard everything.”

  Hayden gave her a weak smile then turned back to Carrie. “Yes. Together. Oh my God, Carrie.”

  Carrie’s shoulders lifted with excitement. “Awesome! Then what?”

  “We did the Netflix and chill thing.”

  Carrie frowned. “You don’t have Netflix.”

  “It’s an expression. Sort of.” Hayden giggled. “I didn’t know either, but he told me ‘Netflix and chill’ is code for watching a movie and making out.”

  Carrie laughed too. “Okay, yeah. Except for me it’s Netflix and Jill.”

  Hayden paused. Then she got it and her mouth dropped open. “Carrie!”

  Carrie shrugged. “Truth, lately. But Hayden—go you!”

  “I know! So then…he asked me to come to Conquistadors on Saturday night. He was working, but he said I could hang out there. So I did. And it was super fun. I met his buddies. And…and…we did body shots.” She bit her lip.

  “Really?”

  “Really.”

  “When you say ‘we did body shots’…explain, please.”

  “Beck drank a shot of tequila off my, er, stomach.”

  Carrie laughed. “Holy shit, Hayden.”

  “I know! I can’t believe I did that. Jesus, I’m not a teenager on spring break. What if someone from NHI was there and saw me doing that? They’d be seriously questioning whether I deserved that research grant.”

  “Hmmm. I suppose. But you can run a research company and have fun on your downtime. It’s none of their business what you do outside of work. Anyway, nobody saw you. Right?”

  “Right. At least I don’t think so. There were a lot of people in the bar, but I don’t think anyone I knew was there. I wasn’t even drunk—I’d only had part of a paloma.”

  “What’s that?”

  Hayden outlined the ingredients. “It was really good. Anyway, after that—”

  “There’s more?”

  “He invited me to go to his place so we could, uh, continue the tequila tasting.”

  Carrie made a noise as if she was weeping.

  “I almost changed my mind about it. Because I was…” She swallowed.

  “What?”

  “Afraid,” she finished quietly. “I was watching him flirt with some girls at the bar…I mean, not really flirting, it’s just the way he is, you know? He’s gorgeous and girls all swarm around him and he smiles at them…and Marco said something like, ‘Don’t worry, he looks at everyone that way, it doesn’t mean anything,’ and I realized, yeah, that’s true, and when he looks at me it doesn’t mean anything either. And that kind of depressed me.”

  “Oh.” Carrie’s face softened.

  “But then he somehow convinced me to go home with him anyway, and really it’s just about having fun, right?”

  “Um…right?”

  “You sound doubtful.”

  “Only because you do. Are you falling for him, Hayden?”

  Yes. “No. I can’t. I don’t have time for a boyfriend. My aunt and uncle are still struggling, and this week at work we had a major setback with one of the vaccines we’re working on. And Beck’s very open about the fact that he’s not into getting serious either.”

  “But you did go home with him?”

  “Yes.” She sighed. “And again, it was amazing. He invited me to go skydiving with him today.”

  Carrie’s mouth fell open. “Skydiving?”

  “Yep.” Hayden made a face. “That was a big nope.”

  “You’re afraid?”

  “Hell no! It’s just that I’d already made plans with you.”

  Carrie snorted. “Chicken.”

  “Totally.” Hayden grinned. “No way in hell I’m jumping out of a plane. Even Beck admitted that was a little too much. He’s trying to teach me to be adventurous.”

  “I like this man.”

  “He
’s crazy. I’ll never go skydiving. He does insane things like rock climbing and scuba diving and mountain biking.”

  “Paddleboarding must have been pretty tame for him,” Carrie said dryly.

  “True.” Hayden paused. “That was probably for me.”

  “Hmm. I like him even more for that.”

  Something fluttered in Hayden’s belly. “Yeah, see, that’s the problem. I like him too.”

  “Nothing wrong with that.”

  “He’s not part of my plan, Carrie.” Her voice came out sounding a little desperate. “I have to stick to my plan. Aunt Gina falling and breaking her hip wasn’t part of my plan either. Everything is getting messed up.”

  “You know it’s not up to you to do everything for your aunt and uncle.”

  “They need help right now. I can’t blow them off because I want to risk my life skydiving.”

  “Relax your foot.” Julia tapped her instep, making Hayden aware of the tension that had tightened her body. She sank back into the chair and Julia dug her thumbs into Hayden’s sole.

  Hayden closed her eyes and swallowed a moan. “Sweet Jesus, that feels good.”

  The massage continued up her calf, working at tight muscles there too.

  “Calm down, Hayden. Just because something happens that you didn’t plan for doesn’t mean your entire life plan is ruined. You can help your aunt and uncle and still have time to go out with Beck. And your work will get done. You can’t cure cancer overnight.”

  “I know that,” Hayden mumbled. She stared at her feet being wrapped in a towel. She did know that. She knew that her goals were very long-term. She’d had to learn patience. “But life’s not one big party either.”

  “No. It’s not. There are parts of life that are shitty and tough as hell. You know that. Which makes it even more important to enjoy the fuck out of the parts that aren’t.”

  Hayden nodded. “So you’re saying I should see Beck again and let him take me on some crazy adventures.”

  “Yes, I am.”

  Hayden nodded slowly, even though her insides were in knots. “I’m not sure if I can do that.”

  “I know it’s hard for you to let go and loosen up.”

  “It’s not just that. It’s…well, having all these feelings is…frightening.”

  “And yet your dude is jumping out of a plane right now.”

  Hayden pushed out her bottom lip briefly as she contemplated that. “That does make me sound pretty gutless, doesn’t it?”

  “It does. Go for it! Just enjoy it!” Carrie looked at the girl now painting her toenails Pinkalicious. “What do you think, Adena?”

  Adena smiled. “Well, it’s none of my business for sure, but this guy sounds really hot, so I agree.”

  “Me too,” said Julia, one hand holding Hayden’s foot, with the bottle of Candy Apple polish expertly supported, her other hand with the tiny brush poised above Hayden’s toes. “It sounds like you need fun.”

  “That’s exactly what I’ve been saying!” Carrie said.

  Hayden drew in a long breath and let it out as Julia stroked glossy red polish onto a nail. She wasn’t even sure she’d ever hear from Beck again, but whatever crazy idea he came up with next, she would go for it.

  Maybe.

  No, she would.

  Probably. Depending.

  Chapter 16

  Beck drove along Otay Lakes Road after the tandem jump, feeling alive with adrenaline buzzing in his veins. Alive and horny.

  He grinned. Adrenaline did that to him.

  He passed by scrubby brown hills dotted with chaparral¸ the grass dry and dusty. On the other side of the road the water of Lower Otay Lake sat still and calm, reflecting images of the trees and sky.

  Telling Hayden about his fear of heights had made him reflect back on his first time jumping out of a plane and how he’d been sure he was going to piss himself. Or puke. Or both. But he’d done it and now there was nothing like it.

  People paid big bucks to tandem jump with a Navy SEAL, and the money they paid went to the Trident Foundation. It was a win-win-win way to give back.

  He imagined giving Hayden that experience—her strapped to him as they jumped. His grin broadened. Christ, going to the beach for a walk spontaneously was an adventure for her. He couldn’t even imagine the rush she’d get from skydiving.

  But yeah, when she’d turned him down he’d known it was too soon. He wanted to open her world to some of the crazy things he liked, but he knew he couldn’t do that all at once. And again, he wasn’t sure why he had an intense need to do this for her. With her. Exploring those hidden depths to her, depths she didn’t even seem to know she had.

  That in itself was kind of an adrenaline rush.

  He eventually hit I-5, merging into speeding late-Sunday-afternoon traffic. He passed Chula Vista, Coronado, National City; passed the skyscrapers of downtown San Diego; then exited onto Mission Bay Drive, turning onto Grand Avenue. As he neared Hayden’s street, he slowed.

  Was she home from her afternoon at the spa with her friend? He found himself unwilling to go home to his empty condo. Or he could go back to Conquistadors; there was always someone there he knew, and even if there wasn’t he’d be able to strike up a conversation with somebody at the bar.

  Damn. He wanted to see her. He’d take a chance and find out if she was home. Live in the moment. He flicked on his blinker and turned at her street.

  She answered her door wearing a bemused expression. “Beck. What are you doing here?”

  “I was passing by on my way home. Thought I’d drop in and see if you were back. Did you get all pampered and polished?”

  “Yes.” She smiled and stepped back. “Come in. I just got home, actually.”

  He walked in, getting a whiff of her scent, something fresh and so fucking sexy that the guy downstairs stirred in his jeans.

  “How was your skydiving?”

  “Amazing. As usual.” He made himself at home by sitting on her red couch, crossing one ankle over the opposite knee. “A total rush.”

  She sat too and he studied her. Her hair was pulled back into her usual ponytail, and with no makeup—not that she ever wore much—her face glowed. “What all did you have done?” he murmured, reaching out to smooth back a stray strand of hair. “You look gorgeous.”

  She lowered her gaze and her cheeks pinkened. “I do not look gorgeous. I had a facial and I’m all blotchy.”

  “No, you’re not. Your skin is perfect.” He stroked his fingertips over one cheek. “So soft and smooth.”

  She bit her lip briefly. “I also had a pedicure and a full-body sugar scrub.”

  “Ah.” He dropped his gaze to her bare toes, curling into the rug. “Sexy red toes to match your couch.”

  She huffed a laugh. “Yes. Though I didn’t plan that. I was going to get a pale pink and Carrie grabbed this one. It’s called Candy Apple.”

  “Are your toes as sweet as candy?” He reached down and lifted her feet, swinging her legs around and over his lap. Her gasp made him smile. He lifted one foot and studied it. So pretty, with delicate tendons and veins beneath the thin skin, her toenails bright and shiny. He lifted her foot to his mouth and sucked one toe in.

  Her foot jerked and she damn near kicked his teeth out. Good thing he had fast reflexes.

  “What are you doing?” she cried, supporting herself on both hands on the couch cushion, frowning at him.

  He grinned at her reaction. “Tasting your pretty toes.”

  “That’s weird.”

  “Not into that? No worries. I’m not a foot fetish guy. Just thought your toes looked really hot.”

  “I’m sorry.” She sank those teeth into her bottom lip again. “Didn’t mean to kick you.”

  “I’m okay. But maybe you should loosen up, and not knock something till you try it.”

  “Oh my God, I am so tired of hearing that!” She made a frustrated growling noise. “I’m a researcher! Of course I try new things. We have to try new things all th
e time.”

  “Uh, babe.” He eyed her. “Someone else has been on your case?”

  “Carrie. Not to mention the girls doing our pedicures.”

  He lifted an eyebrow.

  She sighed. “Whatever. I’m not afraid of trying new things. Fine. You want to suck my toes? Go for it.”

  “That mood has been kinda killed, baby.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  He stroked over her instep. “It’s okay. Didn’t mean to freak you out.”

  “You freak me out every time I see you.”

  “In a good way.”

  She burst out laughing and dropped her chin to her chest. “Yes, Beck. In a good way.”

  “So…” He ran a hand up over her calf, then to her thigh. “You were buffed everywhere?”

  “Yes.”

  “I might need to inspect it. Make sure all your skin is as glowing as your face.”

  She made a small choking noise. “Um…”

  He continued to caress her legs.

  She choked out a question. “So your skydiving was good?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Where do you do it?”

  “Place in Jamul. Suncoast Skydiving.”

  “I don’t understand how risking your life can be fun.”

  “I’m not risking my life. I’m a well-trained, experienced professional. I know what I’m doing. And it’s a total rush. You really know you’re alive when you’re feeling that rush of air on your face.” Hayden wrinkled her nose and he smiled. “Besides, I do it for a good cause, not just for the rush.”

  Her forehead puckered. “How so?”

  He explained the fundraiser. “The Trident Foundation. It supports Navy SEALs and their families in times of need.”

  “Oh.” She looked at him with wide eyes. “I didn’t realize that’s what it was for.”

  He shrugged, stroking one soft calf. “Yeah.”

  “That’s nice of you.”

  “I’m a nice guy.”

  “Well.”

  He frowned, his hand going still. “What? I am.”

  Her smile was knowing. “Sure.”

  “Hey.”

  “I’m teasing you.” She reached out and touched his lips with her index finger. “What I meant was, you look like a very sexy bad boy with your long hair and tattoos and beard. But I’m coming to see that you are, in fact, a very nice guy.”