by TJ Thomas
“That’s great. You ready to go?”
“Sure.”
Jo adjusted her pace to match Mike’s. “It’s good to see you kept up with your running, Mike.”
Mike glanced over. “You were right. It’s a great stress reliever. It got me through a lot of crap as a teenager. When things started to build up, I would remember what you told me and go for a run. Thanks for that.”
“Don’t thank me. Thank your mom.”
“What do you mean?”
“Rhonda gave me that advice when I was having a hard time. I only passed it on to you. At the time, you were more willing to listen to me than either of your parents.”
“Huh, I never knew. Mom never said anything.”
“Does that surprise you?”
Mike shook his head. “I guess it shouldn’t. She cares more about the result than getting credit for the idea.”
CHAPTER TEN
When the work week returned, Rhonda and Jo went back to their easy routine. Most evenings after dinner, they sat on the couch and talked for hours. After the first time or two, Rhonda had said, “Jo, surely you’d rather be out with your friends instead of sitting here chatting with me.”
Jo had responded, “Why would you think that? I’m having a wonderful time.”
After that, Rhonda just went with it. She had purposely avoided one topic since reconnecting because Jo hadn’t brought it up, but finally her curiosity won out. “Jo?”
“Hmmm?”
“You haven’t mentioned Patty and Keith since you’ve been here. How are your parents?”
Jo took a moment before responding. “Mom’s good. I just spoke with her recently. She says hello, by the way.”
“Hello back.” When Jo didn’t volunteer any more information, Rhonda pressed, “And your dad?”
Jo’s expression darkened. This had always been a tough topic for her and she gave her the time she needed.
“Six years ago, when he tried to crash Mom and John’s wedding, he and I had a reckoning.”
“What happened?”
“He’d been drinking, of course, but wasn’t drunk yet, although he was well on his way as usual. He tried to push me around to get his way.”
“Oh, Jo.”
“Except this time I fought back. He didn’t know what hit him. When he figured it out, there was this look in his eye. I think he was actually afraid of me. I was strong enough to stand up for myself, and he was weak. I convinced him trying to even contact my mom or me in the future would be a very bad idea.
“I never thought that would be the end of it, but I wasn’t scared of him anymore, and I guess he could see that. A few weeks later, I heard he moved to Arizona.” Jo paused and she looked at Rhonda. “I haven’t heard from him since, and as far as I know neither has Mom.”
“I’m sorry you had to go through that alone.”
Jo shrugged. “I handled it.”
Yes, you always do, all by yourself. Rhonda hurt for Jo and was sure she wouldn’t understand why.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Jo was out of sorts. All because of the call she’d received a few minutes before she left work. Her mom had sounded distraught and worried before she’d broken down crying, and handed the phone off to John. He had reassured her that he was taking care of things and her mom was safe. Apparently, the call was to warn her, in case her father tried to contact her next.
Jo felt some of the tension drain from her body when she walked in the door from the garage into the kitchen. Rhonda’s home still felt like her safe harbor. She was still distracted and irritated, and almost walked right by Rhonda without a word.
“Hello? Hey, are you okay?”
Jo stopped walking and turned back. “Hey, Rhonda, sorry just distracted.”
“Is everything alright?”
“Sure. Weird day.”
Rhonda turned and started gathering items onto the counter. “Want to talk about it?”
“Not really. Would you like any help?”
Rhonda cocked her head. “You want to help me with dinner?” Her voice sounded a bit incredulous.
Jo briefly wondered why. “Yes. Is that okay?”
“Um, sure, how do you feel about chopping vegetables?”
“I live for chopping vegetables. Let me just wash my hands.”
As Jo walked to the sink, Rhonda said, “Okay. I need onions and a pepper for the sauce. Then you can work on the veggies for the salad.”
“Sounds good.” Jo dried her hands, selected a knife, and got to work.
Rhonda watched Jo dice onions for a few moments, appreciating her quick, efficient movements. Then she turned back to her own tasks. Something was off, but if Jo wasn’t ready to talk, Rhonda couldn’t force her. She’d learned a long time ago that Jo would talk, if she was going to, only when she was ready.
“My mom called me today.”
Rhonda looked over to where Jo stood with her head down, focused on dicing onions. The comment had come out of left field.
“How is she?”
“Not good. Apparently, my father is in Florida and he went by the house.”
“Oh no, did he hurt her?”
Rhonda noticed Jo’s hand tighten on the knife.
“Not physically, but she was pretty shaken up. She couldn’t even finish the conversation and handed the phone to John. He said she was safe and he was taking care of her. So, that’s good.”
“That is good. How are you doing?” Rhonda knew it was risky to ask Jo how she was feeling, especially about anything having to do with her father, but she wanted to help and this was the only way she could think to do that.
Jo blew out a breath and glanced at Rhonda before returning her focus to her task. “I’ve been better. Mostly, I’m concerned about my mom. I’m pissed at him for reappearing in her life when things are going so well for her. Why can’t he just leave us alone?”
Rhonda wanted to go to Jo then, offer some comfort. But she stayed where she was, bound by her own choices. Afraid that if she offered Jo a hug, her secret would come out. So even though it was wholly inadequate, she said, “I don’t know. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I’m tired of trying to figure him out. Mom is safe and that’s what really matters. Thank you for listening.”
“Any time.”
*
Rhonda wasn’t home when Jo returned from work the next evening. She had texted earlier that she had a last minute client meeting that would probably run late. The house seemed so empty without her. Strange that she had never felt lonely in her condo in San Diego, even in the year since Aideen had moved out. Now it felt like something, rather someone, was missing moments after she entered the empty house. She shook her head. She had to get over this crush, if she could even still call it that.
She changed, went downstairs, and rummaged around in the garage and shed until she found what she needed. She had a lot on her mind and doing some yard work seemed like exactly what she needed. Keeping her body busy so her mind could sort through an issue had served her well many times over the years. The crisp, New England October air invigorated her. She set to work, allowing the repetitive nature of her task to soothe away the tension of her day.
With her body occupied, her mind drifted to where it most often went these days. Rhonda. No matter how hard Jo tried to ignore the attraction, it was growing and she was afraid of what she might do. Rhonda was almost constantly on her mind, even when she was at work. If she stopped to breathe for one minute, her thoughts turned to what Rhonda might be doing.
Maybe she needed to get out. She definitely needed a distraction. Maybe she should go out and try to have some harmless fun with someone else. Blow off some steam. It was probably a really good idea. But even the thought left her feeling empty. If it was simply a physical attraction, a distraction might have been the answer. But the more time she spent with Rhonda, the more she shared with her, it was becoming more than physical. Jo didn’t know how to deal with that. She couldn’t possibly tell R
honda any of it and risk their renewed friendship, which she treasured.
Rhonda stood on the back deck and watched Jo attack the leaves that had taken over the backyard. Jo was raking her yard. What in the world? She wondered what was on her mind. And why she needed to take it out on the leaves. She had never seen anyone rake with such a vengeance.
Jo had struggled with her temper at an early age. Seeing her father’s fury over and over left its mark. But Jo was strong and learned to manage her anger and channel her frustrations in productive ways. As a result, to an outsider Jo appeared calm and relaxed. She kept very tight control on her deepest emotions, never wanting them to be in control of her.
Amazingly, given her past, Jo became one of the kindest, most patient people Rhonda had ever known. Because of this, sometimes figuring out what Jo was truly feeling was difficult. She understood Jo was not hiding her emotions with any malicious intent. It’s just how she lived her life. She was an extremely open and honest person in general, but she also kept her most intimate feelings very close to the vest.
Rhonda surveyed the scene from the deck. Jo had amassed quite a pile of bags. She decided it was time to intervene. She walked down to where Jo was furiously raking. “Jo?”
Jo whirled around, clearly surprised. “Hey, I didn’t expect you home until later.” Jo looked at her watch. “Oh, I guess it is later.”
“How long have you been out here?”
Jo leaned on the rake. “Pretty much since I got home.”
“That was more than two hours ago.”
“Yeah.” Jo looked a bit sheepish.
“What’s going on?”
“What do you mean?”
“You have more than thirty bags of leaves gathered and you were still raking like someone was chasing you. The only time you used to get into a zone like that was when you had some serious thinking you needed to do. Is that still the case?”
Jo shrugged. “I guess so.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Jo studied her for several moments. “Thanks, but no.”
“Okay. Well, I’m here if you change your mind. Thank you, by the way, for doing all this.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Why don’t you come inside and I’ll make us some hot chocolate? I’ll finish this later.”
“Okay. I’ll put the tools away and meet you inside.”
Jo quickly gathered the tools and put them in the shed. She dusted herself off. Then she took some fortifying breaths, steeling herself to be in close quarters with Rhonda. If she could just remember to breathe, she would get through this. Her mind had been on Rhonda for more than two hours. Her body was still humming from her thoughts. By the time she walked into the kitchen, Rhonda had preparations well underway. Jo walked to the sink and washed her hands. “So, how was your day?” she asked as casually as she could manage.
“Really good. I worked on a design for a business rehab downtown. Then my client meeting this evening was very successful. Did you have a rough day at work?”
“Not especially.”
“Did your dad contact you?”
“No, why would you ask that?”
“Well, given our conversation last night, it seemed like a legitimate possibility. I’m just trying to figure out what’s wrong.”
“I was just working some stuff out in my head. It’s as simple as that.”
“Jo, you’re still radiating tension and that’s after raking more than thirty bags of leaves. Maybe it’d help to talk about it.” Rhonda said gently.
“No, I definitely don’t think that would help.”
Rhonda crossed to Jo then and grabbed her hand. “I can be a very good listener.”
Jo stared at Rhonda’s hand for several moments. Then she lifted her head to meet Rhonda’s intense gaze. “I can’t do this anymore. I need to go.” She pulled her hand away and rushed out of the room.
Jo was shoving clothes into an overnight bag when Rhonda knocked on her open bedroom door. “What are you doing?” Rhonda asked.
“I’m leaving. I’m going to find my own place.”
“Why?”
Jo shrugged. “It’s just what I need to do.” Jo felt bad shutting Rhonda out, but she couldn’t tell her the real reason and she hadn’t had time to come up with a plausible excuse.
Rhonda looked at Jo in disbelief. “Jo, you have to tell me why. Did I do something?”
“I can’t. It’s not anything you did. It’s me. I just…can’t.”
“You can’t what?”
“Live here.”
“So you’ve said. Now, please tell me why. What’s changed since you moved in last month?”
“Everything’s changed.”
“You know that doesn’t tell me anything, right?”
“Rhonda, please, I need to go.” Jo zipped the bag and turned. She made a move to walk around her but Rhonda stepped into her path.
“Why, Jo?”
Jo couldn’t stand being so close to Rhonda. She tried once more to navigate around her. Her path was blocked again. “Rhonda, I need to go.”
“Not until you tell me why you have to leave.”
Jo heard buzzing in her ears and her heart hammered in her chest. She was blinded by panic and couldn’t find a way out. She reacted. She dropped her bag. She grasped Rhonda’s arms and pulled her to her. She crushed Rhonda’s mouth with hers. With the first taste she yearned for more. She turned them and followed Rhonda onto the bed. She heard Rhonda whimper, and it snapped her back to reality.
“Oh, my God.” Jo pushed herself off of Rhonda and stood. She couldn’t look at her, ashamed she’d lost control. “I’m so sorry, Rhonda. Please forgive me.” Jo ran from the room.
Rhonda felt the loss immediately. Her body ached for Jo to finish what she’d started.
“Jo, wait!”
The only response she heard was the front door slam. Jo was gone. Once she was sure her legs would hold her, Rhonda stood. She caught her reflection in the mirror above the dresser. Her cheeks were flushed and her hair was mussed. She was damp between her thighs. She needed a drink. She walked downstairs and went directly to the liquor cabinet. She poured two fingers of scotch, neat, and sat in the closest chair. She picked up the phone and called Barbara.
“I need to call in a friend favor. How soon can you get here?”
Ten minutes later, Rhonda let Barbara into the house. “Thank you for coming so quickly.”
“It sounded urgent. What’s going on?”
Rhonda walked back to top off her drink. “Can I get you anything?”
“I’m okay for now.”
“So…Jo’s gone.”
“Gone where?” Barbara asked.
“I have no idea. She packed a bag and said she couldn’t live here anymore.”
“Did you two have a fight?”
Rhonda pictured Jo pushing her onto the bed and covering her body. “No, not exactly.”
“You’re not making a lot of sense. Why don’t you tell me what happened.”
“Jo kissed me.”
“Okay…and then she packed a bag and left?”
“No. I’m sorry. I’m a bit flustered. I don’t know why Jo packed a bag. She never got around to telling me why she had to move out. I was asking her why, trying to get her to tell me. She tried to leave and I got in her way. That’s when she kissed me.”
“Maybe she answered you after all.”
“What do you mean?”
“First, tell me exactly what happened, with as much detail as possible.”
Rhonda recounted the entire scene in Jo’s bedroom as best as she could recall, including Jo’s apology as she raced out the door.
When Rhonda finished her story, Barbara nodded. “That’s what I thought.”
“What is?”
Before Barbara answered, she poured herself a drink and sat on the sofa. “It sounds like Jo realized she couldn’t keep fighting her attraction to you while living under the same roof.”
; “What are you talking about?”
Barbara looked at Rhonda pointedly. “You know exactly what I’m talking about.”
“Shit. Yeah, I do. So what am I supposed to do about it?”
“That depends.”
“On what?”
“What you want to do about it.”
“And if I have no idea?”
“Then you better start figuring it out.”
*
Jo sat in Amy and Randi’s basement. Her laptop balanced on her legs which were propped on the coffee table. She glanced up when Amy came into the room.
“Hey.”
“What are you doing?”
“Looking for an apartment. I can’t crash with you forever.”
“You can stay with us as long as you need to, but that’s not what I meant. What are you doing?”
Jo didn’t have to ask Amy what she meant. She knew. “I’m giving her space.”
“Are you just going to leave the rest of your stuff there forever?”
“No. Probably not forever.”
“Chicken!”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me. You’ve been hiding here for three days. You need to talk to Rhonda.”
“What’s left to say?”
“I’d wager a whole lot. I’ve never known you to bury your head in the sand about anything.”
“I’m not. I’m just letting things calm back down.”
“What needs to calm down?”
“Never mind.”
“Look, I don’t know exactly what went down since you’re not talking. But it’s weird that you just up and left. Shouldn’t you at least talk to her?”
“I will.” Jo knew she owed her at least that much.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Rhonda was nervous. Jo had texted and asked to stop by. There was no reason to be nervous. Jo was her friend. They could talk like reasonable adults and figure out what was going on. When the doorbell rang, Rhonda’s pep talk flew out the window. She remembered to breathe. Then she opened the door. She felt herself staring at Jo’s lips and mentally shook herself. She stepped back so Jo could enter.
“Hi.”
“Hi, this is for you.” Jo handed her a bottle.