by TJ Thomas
“No, I shouldn’t. We’ve been over this. This is your high school reunion. It’s Julie and Christie’s high school reunion, neither one of them need their mom there as one of their friends’ date. It would cause too much of a distraction and I’m afraid Christie and Julie wouldn’t be able to enjoy themselves. Julie won’t want me there.”
“I don’t want to hide you away.”
Rhonda laid her hand on Jo’s cheek. “You’re not and I know you’re disappointed but I don’t want to put Julie or Christie in that situation. It’s too soon.”
Jo reluctantly relented. “I guess you’re not going to budge on this.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Then promise me something.”
“If I can.” Rhonda smiled at her fondly.
“Promise me you’ll go to the twentieth reunion with me.”
Her smile faded. “Oh, Jo.” Rhonda turned away from Jo and walked to the window wrapping her arms around herself like she was trying to warm herself.
But Jo had seen the look come into Rhonda’s eyes before she turned away. She saw fear clouding them. Jo tamped down her own frustration. She hurt for Rhonda. She went to her and put her arms loosely around her waist, seeking only to bring her comfort. Jo leaned down and put her mouth next to Rhonda’s ear. “Talk to me. Please don’t shut me out.”
Rhonda turned in Jo’s gentle embrace. She quickly wiped away her tears. She laid her head on Jo’s shoulder. “I wish I could have confidence in the future you see for us.”
Jo moved Rhonda back so she could look at her. “Why can’t you?”
“I’m not sure. A big part of me is scared about being in a long-term relationship with someone, anyone, who is twenty years younger than me.”
“I see. So, you’re going to blow me off because I’m too young for a real relationship?”
“That’s not what I said and it’s not what I meant. You’re special and I care about you a lot, but let’s think for one minute. We are at such different places in our lives. I mean, let’s be real. My body will sag long before yours. Are you really going to want to be with me then? I guess part of me thinks you’re so young you’ll grow tired of me sooner or later. Besides, I’m settled in my life. I love it here and love having all the kids so close. Your life is in California.”
Jo kept a steady gaze on her. “Rhonda, you have an incredible body, but that’s not the reason I’m with you. Our connection is more than physical. Who says my life has to stay in California? I didn’t realize how much I miss this area until I came back for Amy’s wedding. I miss having seasons. As for the rest, age is just a number. It has nothing at all to do with feelings. You could just as easily grow tired of me.”
Rhonda shook her head and whispered, “I couldn’t.”
“Then what makes you think I will? Jesus, Rhonda, do you have any idea what you do to me?” Jo moved her hand to caress Rhonda’s cheek. With just that simple touch, the pulse in Rhonda’s neck started beating wildly. “Do you feel that? That’s what I feel every time we touch. It’s how I feel when I simply see you across the room. Hell, when I just think about you sometimes my heart starts hammering in my chest. You destroy me, Rhonda. How can you think I could ever walk away from that?”
“Well, when you put it like that,” Rhonda began, trying to ease the tension but stopped when she saw the dark emotion still swirling in Jo’s eyes. “Once I can actually think, I know I’m being crazy, but it doesn’t stop the doubts, not completely. I’m trying to figure this out. I want to believe you when you say you aren’t going anywhere.”
Jo pulled Rhonda closer. “That’s a start.”
*
Jo pulled on her watch and slipped on her blazer. She glanced at Rhonda who was watching her dress and saw the glint in her eyes. “Don’t get any ideas. I have to leave soon.”
With a mischievous grin, Rhonda walked toward Jo. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Jo pulled Rhonda into her arms. “Yes, you do.” She leaned down and captured Rhonda’s mouth and kissed her soundly. “That will have to hold me. Listen, I’m not sure how late I’ll be.”
“That’s okay. Just be safe. Wake me when you get in, if you want.”
“Oh, I want.”
*
Jo entered the ballroom. She was quickly surrounded by old friends. Julie pointedly ignored her, but Christie found her and gave her a hug. People were already dancing, and the bar was doing brisk business. They made their way to the bar and then by unspoken agreement headed in separate directions. Jo wandered around for a while taking in the scene. The room was tastefully decorated. The tablecloths were in the school colors, maroon and white. There were easels set up around the room with pictures blown up from their senior yearbook.
Life was a lot different outside of high school, and going back was strange for her. Aside from the time she had spent with Rhonda’s family and her time on the sports fields, those years were difficult for her. She finally made her way over to an androgynous woman sitting off by herself watching the action. “Hey, Rooster, how’s it hangin’?”
Tamara Diggs looked up in surprise and automatically responded, “Not as good as yours, I imagine.” Then she stood and wrapped Jo in a bear hug. “Hi, stud, I didn’t know you’d be here.”
The exchange brought Jo back to high school. “Indeed I am. In fact, I’m in the area for a while. We should try to get together.”
“That would be great. How’s life?”
“Really good. I started dating an amazing woman here recently. How about you?”
“Going okay, although nothing new for me on that front in a while. I still have a harder time talking to the ladies than you ever did.”
“Don’t worry. When you find the right one, it won’t be so hard.”
“I hope you’re right.”
Jo took a sip of her beer. “Aren’t I always?”
Tam laughed. They talked for a few more minutes before Jo resumed her circuit of the room.
She ran into old teammates and caught up. She was pulled onto the dance floor a number of times by Christie and occasionally others who just remembered how much fun she’d been in high school. She was having a good time. Eventually, she ended up back at the bar.
She turned when she felt a tap on her shoulder and a sensuous voice whisper, “Hi, gorgeous.”
Jo studied the stunning blonde with voluptuous curves. She ignored the quick, visceral reaction she had to the beautiful woman in front of her. When her gaze made its way to her face, recognition hit. “Samantha?”
Before the woman responded, she pulled Jo over to the side. She stood so close to Jo, there was no space between them. “I was hoping you’d remember me.”
“Of course I do.” Samantha had been her first lover, and Jo had fond memories of her.
“Then dance with me. I’ve been thinking of touching you all night.”
Clearly, Sam wanted more than a dance. Jo shook her head. “No, thank you, Sam. I’m flattered, but it wouldn’t be a good idea.”
Sam’s full lips turned down into a frown. “Come on, Jo. It’ll be fun.”
“I can’t, really. I’m involved with someone.”
“That’s too bad.”
Then Jo had an idea. “Listen, Sam, I know someone who would love to dance with you.”
“Yeah?” Sam perked up a bit. “Who?”
“Tam.” Jo pointed over to where Tam sat watching the crowd.
“She’s cute.”
“But she’s shy.” Jo motioned to the bartender. “So, why don’t you take these drinks over and see if you can loosen her up just a little? If you do I know she’d love to dance with you.”
Sam took the offered drinks. “Great to see you, Jo.”
“You too. Have fun.”
Jo got water for herself and headed to find her friends. When Jo reached them, Julie glared at her. “What was that?”
“I think it’s pretty clear what that was. Sam wanted to get reacquainted. So, that was me
redirecting her attention to someone who wouldn’t mind.”
“It looks like it worked,” Christie said trying to ease the tension.
They looked over to where Sam was leading a slightly bewildered Tam onto the dance floor.
Jo dusted off her hands. “My work here is done.”
*
Jo slipped quietly into bed, but Rhonda stirred. “Umm, hi, what time is it?” she asked drowsily.
Jo snuggled close. “A little after midnight.”
“Did you have fun?”
“I did.”
“Good.” Rhonda turned and ran her hand down Jo’s lean body. “Did you run into anyone interesting?”
Jo moaned, enjoying the gentle caress. “A couple of people. Tam for one. It was good to see her. We’re going to try to catch up soon. And Samantha.”
Rhonda’s hand stilled. “Samantha? As in the first girl you were ever with, Samantha?”
Jo pushed the hair back from Rhonda’s face. “One and the same. She wanted to get reacquainted. I told her I was involved with someone special and wasn’t interested. Then I pointed her in Tam’s direction. The two of them seemed to hit it off.”
Rhonda pushed Jo over and insinuated her thigh between Jo’s legs as she climbed on top of her. “You better have told her you weren’t interested.”
Jo did not miss the hint of jealousy in Rhonda’s voice and she did not take it lightly. Rhonda’s concerns were one of the reasons she would always be honest with her. Rhonda already had doubts enough about them; there was no reason to give her any more cause for concern. “Rhonda, you are the only woman I want.”
“Don’t you forget it.”
With Rhonda hands driving her system wild, Jo struggled to utter a coherent thought. “You never have to worry about that.”
Jo was already pulsing so hot and wet under her leg, Rhonda reached down between their bodies and stroked Jo’s swollen folds.
Jo groaned in pleasure, so happy to be home.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Sunday evening, Jo and Rhonda had just finished putting the kitchen back in order after dinner when the doorbell rang. Rhonda opened the door and stepped back so Julie could enter. “Hi, Julie, this is a nice surprise.”
Julie stepped through the door but didn’t reach out for a hug as she would have in the past. Rhonda didn’t extend her arms either, she wasn’t sure an offered hug would be welcome. It was hard being this disconnected from Julie. Julie ignored Jo standing less than ten feet away. “Mom, I’d like to talk with you, alone.”
Jo started to excuse herself but Rhonda stopped her. “Julie, whatever you have to say to me you can say in front of Jo.”
Julie studied Rhonda for several moments. “Fine.”
“Would you like to sit down?”
“No. This won’t take very long.”
“Okay.”
“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and I came to ask that you consider ending your relationship with Jo.”
“That’s not going to happen. I’m not going to break up with her just because you are struggling with our relationship.”
“I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this.”
“To what?”
“I won’t be coming over here, as long as you two insist on continuing your affair. And I won’t bring my children anywhere near it. You are not welcome in my house. And if you try to see them, like at Jamie’s games or something, I will pull her from the game and take her home. You will not be around my children while you are carrying on with Jo.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“I am. You don’t want to test me on this.”
“Julie, I’m very disappointed in your decision. I hope you’ll reconsider but I’ve already told you I’m not going to give Jo up. You should go now.”
Julie looked surprised by Rhonda’s response, as though she had expected Rhonda to just cave to her demands. “Well, I hope you reconsider. Good-bye.” Julie let herself out.
“Rhonda, this changes everything,” Jo said
“It doesn’t have to change anything. Julie will come around.”
“I can’t take that risk. I can’t be the reason your family falls apart. I just can’t do it. Your family has always been there for me, they’re all important to you, and I won’t be the reason you lose them.”
“Jo, you’re not. We’ve done nothing wrong. You said so yourself not that long ago. We’re not hurting anybody.”
“Clearly we are if Julie won’t come in your house as long as I’m here and she refuses to let you see your own grandchildren. Are you willing to risk your family?”
Rhonda was silent. It didn’t matter. Jo knew Rhonda couldn’t do that. Not when she’d had time to think about it. She looked at her watch. “It’s late. I’ll call Amy in the morning and stay with her and Randi until I leave.”
“So, now you’re going to leave? I thought you were trying to figure out a way to stay.”
“I was, but I refuse to be the cause of you missing out on your grandchildren growing up. So, I should just leave and let your life go back to normal. I’ll sleep in the guest room tonight.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I think it would be best. Good night, Rhonda.”
Walking out on Rhonda was one of the most difficult things Jo had ever done. Maybe it was better this way. A clean break. She had known it was going to be hard to say good-bye to Rhonda when her time was up, which was why she’d mentioned trying to get another contract in the area or finding another way to stay.
At least this way she wouldn’t be dreading it for the next month. It was already done. The fact that it was ripping her heart in two, she would just have to get over that. It was her own fault she’d let feelings get involved, for trying to make it into more than what it was supposed to be. This was never supposed to be long-term. She had only herself to blame for changing the rules in the middle of the game.
Rhonda made her way upstairs. She stared at Jo’s closed door for several moments, debating whether to knock and try to change her mind. She went into her own room and sank down on the bed. A tear slid down her face, followed by another. This wasn’t the way it was supposed to happen. She and Jo were supposed to have another month, at least. Even that wouldn’t have been enough time, but it was more than they’d get now. Damn it. Maybe she could talk to Julie. Maybe there was some way to salvage this. But what was there really to salvage? Clearly it wasn’t that hard for Jo to walk away, even after her professions of love and desire for a long-term commitment.
She obviously wasn’t as invested in this relationship as Rhonda had become. If she was, she wouldn’t have been able to walk away so casually. She would have stayed and talked, so they could have figured out some way to make this work. Rhonda crawled up to the pillows and settled in for a good cry. She had just lost the one person she had never expected to need. She’d better get used to it. Jo had already left in every way that mattered.
*
The next morning, Rhonda dressed before making her way downstairs. Aside from the change in her attire, she went through her usual routine on autopilot. She sat at the counter staring at the crossword puzzle when she heard the front door open. Jo moved further into the living room and then stopped. She must have changed her mind, because then Rhonda heard her run up the stairs. Soon the shower was running. It stung that Jo didn’t come in for coffee before her shower as she had every day for weeks.
She briefly considered going up and seeing if Jo wanted company. She wasn’t sure she’d be welcome. So, she stayed where she was and turned back to the puzzle she couldn’t concentrate on. She probably should just get on with her day, but she wanted to see Jo before she left. To say what, she wasn’t exactly sure, but she couldn’t leave it like this.
Jo came into the kitchen a little while later. She went directly to the coffee pot. “Hi.”
“Good morning, Jo”
Jo concentrated on her task and didn’t turn around until she had her coffee po
ured and had taken her first sip. Even then, she seemed to be avoiding looking at Rhonda.
“Jo?”
“Hmmm?” Jo responded without raising her head from the paper she was reading.
Rhonda waited her out. Eventually, Jo lifted her head. Rhonda saw it then, the telltale signs of a sleepless night. She also saw the desire Jo could never fully hide when they were together. It lightened her heart to see this wasn’t nearly as easy on Jo as her actions last night had made it seem. Her carefully thought out speech flew out the window and she spoke from the heart. “I want to thank you.” She held Jo’s gaze. “Thank you for the time we spent together, it was some of the most enjoyable time of my life. But I also want you to know how much I appreciate you being willing to take a step back so I don’t lose my family. I will miss you very much if you decide to leave.”
Rhonda saw Jo about to protest that her decision was already made but she pressed on. “I want you to stay. For very selfish reasons, I want us to have the whole time we were supposed to have together and be able to explore the possibility of more. Part of me would like to tell Julie that she’s being immature and she can’t dictate to us, but I don’t know that I can risk never seeing Jamie and Dylan again. I understand if you stick with your decision, but I wanted you to know that I’m sorry I can’t stand up for us.”
Jo walked to Rhonda then. She took her hands in hers. “None of this is your fault and you have no reason to be sorry. I can’t risk that happening to you. I will miss you too. These last two months have meant so much to me.” Jo leaned down and kissed Rhonda on the cheek. “Take care of yourself.” She stepped away, turned, and left. Kona followed her and they both walked out of her life.
Rhonda knew she wouldn’t be able to concentrate on work. She felt so hollow. She didn’t know if she would be able to focus on anything. All she wanted to do was cry. Hell, why shouldn’t she? She went upstairs and climbed into bed. She pulled the pillow that still held Jo’s scent to her and sobbed.
*
The roaring thunderstorm outside did nothing to calm Rhonda’s frazzled nerves. It had been raining hard for hours, and her mood was as dark as the stormy sky. When she walked into the bedroom this morning and saw Jo’s things gone, she felt her heart breaking. After having a good cry, she’d forced herself out of bed, but now she couldn’t figure out what to do.