Kassie couldn’t imagine being without him. Tim was starting to claim pieces of her heart and Kassie was very afraid of what that meant to her well being, but at the same time how could she exist without her Tim?
*****
Tim stayed for dinner. After, they curled up on her sofa and watched Brit-com’s. For Kassie this was heaven and she sighed contentedly.
“So, Kassidy huh?” He said.
She looked up at him quickly then snorted and shook her head. “That’s random and I told you that like decades ago.”
He laughed.
“I know I just didn’t know how to ask you.” He smiled. “It does seem kinda late.” He chuckled.
She nodded softly looking into his eyes. “Kassidy Jane Lawton.”
“Holy shit.” He laughed. “What a crazy name for such a mean woman.”
She plucked him. “Don’t make fun.” She smiled. “Kassidy is the name of my aunt, she was hit by a car when she was eleven and died, Mom named me after her. Jane is the name of my father’s mother not that she cares to acknowledge me. Or maybe she will now that I won’t be getting a trust fund from her old evil ass.” Kassie said. “So I legally shortened it to Kassie when I got the money. So it’s Kassie Lawton.”
“I like Kassidy.” He said softly.
“Then I’ll call you Kassidy.” She teased. “You’re a little feminine.”
“Oh yeah.” He smirked poking her.
She giggled and kissed him.
“Yeah.” She whispered kissing him again. “Everyone calls me Kassie, but you can call me Kassidy if you want.” They shared more kisses.
Tim smiled against her lips. He wrapped his arms around her, laying back and pulling her on top of him.
*****
Kassie walked him out and to his fence. In the cover of the neighbors oak tree, they kissed and held each other tightly. He didn’t want to let her go and she didn’t want him to let her go. Kassie giggled as he kissed her cheek, right under her eye, her cheekbone, the bridge of her nose then her forehead. Tim couldn’t understand; this wasn’t like him. He wasn’t really a madly in love guy but her he was, madly in love with this woman.
“Goodnight.” He whispered finally pulling away.
“Night.” She stood on tip toe, stealing one last kiss.
Tim watched her walk back to her house, open the door and go inside. He fought the urge to go back over there, pound on her door and carry her up to bed but he didn’t. Tim had sworn that he would go slow and not rush her, but damned if he didn’t want her with him all the time.
“Oh fuck.” He growled to himself because he wasn’t planning to ever fall in love again, now he knew that he had no control over his heart. It did whatever it wanted and what it wanted was to love Kassie.
*****
Kassie sighed as she went back to her work, she couldn’t believe how she was feeling about him. She could truly see herself as his girl. She could see herself as his wife. And that feeling filled her with fear. She had taken it that far before and had her heart, and every ounce of herself, stepped on by a man who cared more about himself than her or her feelings.
Kassie knew in her spirit that Tim wasn’t like that, but even the most honorable of men were just men. Kassie didn’t think she could deal with a broken heart for a second time.
*~*~*~*
Chapter 23
Kassie slipped on her slacks as her cell phone rang. She looked down at the display but didn’t recognize the number. Kassie picked up anyway incase it was an author that Rose passed through to her.
“Kassie Lawton.” Kassie answered.
“Hello sweetheart.” Her mother chimed.
Kassie sighed; she’d have to block this number.
“Hello Annette.”
“I told you stop calling me that.” Annette said.
“Well mother or mom or mommy, are all titles earned from being a mother, not just popping out a kid.” Kassie said pulling on her shirt. “It’s the same thing I say to James.”
“You’re being unfair Kassie.”
“I’m being honest. I’m not going to call the people who abandoned me, mom and dad.” Kassie said. “I have a meeting, Annette. What do you want?”
“I was hoping we could have lunch.”
“Busy.” Kassie said.
“All week?”
“Yup.” Kassie sighed.
“Kassidy I just want to spend time with you.” She said softly.
“Why?” Kassie asked. “Huh? Why now do you even care about me? You threw me out on the street with nothing Annette. For a man who admitted to you that he was a pedophile. You didn’t care about me then.”
“I can’t keep saying sorry.”
“You’re right you can’t.” Kassie said. “It means nothing now.”
“Come on Kassidy. Give me a break.”
“I said I forgave you and I did. You didn’t want to lose your lifestyle. I get it. But I will never forget what you and James did to me. How you both just threw me away. He threw me away so he could have his old carefree life back and you threw me away for money.” Kassie said. “I’ll never forget being afraid and alone and having nothing. I’ll never forget fighting for my life while men tried to touch me or not having food to eat and sleeping with rodents. I’ll never forget washing up in gas station bathrooms and living off the kindness of my friends so that I could go to school without smelling the way I felt. You did that to me, you and James both turned your backs on me, and you could’ve cared less if I was alive or dead.”
“That’s not true.”
“Really? Do you remember what you said that day we saw each other again for the first time in ten years?” She asked. “At that book signing when you told me that you didn’t realize I was still alive. How do you think I felt when you said that to me Annette? To know that my mother was so nonchalant about my mortality. I mean we’re all gonna kick the fucking bucket but to say that shit right to me like we were talking about the weather, how was I supposed to think or feel after that?”
“I wish I could take it all back Kassie.”
“WELL YOU CAN’T!” Kassie said angrily. “You didn’t care then and you only care now because I’m wealthy and successful.”
“Look, I just called for a favor.” She said realizing that the motherly approach wasn’t going to fly.
“A favor?” Kassie snorted. “What’s new? I should have known that lunch would have ended in you asking for something.”
“Kassie I just . . . my anniversary is in a few weeks and I wanted to take Warren away. So I was hoping that you would give me some money to take him to Mexico.” Annette said quietly, almost as if she knew she was crossing the line, but had to try.
“Are you serious?” Kassie’s voice was deadly calm.
“Yes.”
“Annette your husband tried to fuck me when I was a kid!” Kassie was yelling now. This was the straw that broke the camel’s back. “Do you think I’m going to pay for him to go away on a vacation?” She turned off her phone, sending all of her future calls to voicemail. Kassie couldn’t believe she would even ask her to do that and it broke her heart. What kind of mother could be so cold?
*****
Rose saw the sadness on her face as she walked into the office trying to smile. Kassie had been so happy lately and Rose wondered what changed. It was just so nice to see the brightness and the smile back on Kassie’s face. Did that Tim guy hurt her in some way? They hadn’t met officially yet but if he was being a jerk to Kassie, Rose would have to kick his ass off.
“I can’t believe this is my book.” Kassie smiled staring at the open box of books on Rose’s desk. She picked up the paperback children’s book with its glossy cover and wiped a tear from her eye.
“Bestsellers list three weeks in a row.” Rose said. Kassie shook her head smiling.
“I can’t believe it.” She said softly. “I’m the writer of children’s books.”
“I’m proud of you Kass.”
“Ever th
ink I’d reach here when I was sneaking into your room at night so I’d have someplace safe to crash?” Kassie asked.
“Yes.” Rose said gently. “Even then I knew you would be somebody.” She stood and came around her desk, perching on the corner. “Me on the other hand, I didn’t think I’d be married with kids. You totally flaked on me! We were supposed to get Italian supermodel boyfriends and jet set around the world singing techno and club music, remember?”
Kassie laughed at the odd fantasy.
“Sixteen year olds.” She said shaking her head.
“Here we are Kass. Four years from forty and living a dream totally different from the ones we dreamed up years ago.” Rose said.
Kassie nodded and sighed looking down at the book.
“Feels so surreal.” Kassie said.
“Yeah it does.” Rose said.
Kassie lowered her head and swallowed past the lump in her throat.
“I got a call from my mother.” Kassie said. “She asked me for money so she could take her husband to Mexico.”
“Oh Kassie.”
“I told her no. I mean the man assaulted me and had I not popped him he probably would have succeeded in raping me Rose. You would think she would be upset about that.” Kassie’s eyes filled with tears. “I’m her blood and she chose her slimy husband over me! How is that supposed to make me feel huh? Then she wants me to give her money to take the pedophile on vacation?” Kassie shook her head at the unfairness of the whole situation. Even now she felt the injustice of it.
Rose lowered hers; she knew how hard it was for Kassie all those years ago. She remembered it so vividly that it felt like it was just yesterday. Even then though, Kassie was so strong. She never let on how painful or upsetting things were to her. She just rolled with it.
“But look what you’ve done Kassie. Look what you became without them, all on your own.” She said.
Kassie sniffled, nodding softly but she still hurt so badly. She never could understand why her mother treated her like some unwanted thing.
“You’re right Rosie, I’m okay. I’m used to being on my own.” Kassie steeled herself so instantly that Rose stared at her friend in concern. Kassie was tougher than she realized. Rosie knew she would have been sobbing right now if her mother treated her way Kassie’s had, but her friend was made of stronger stuff. Still and all, Rosie worried about what she was burying deep down inside.
“Dinner at your place?” Rose asked, trying to brighten Kassie’s mood.
“Yeah.” Kassie said. “I’m making shrimp and I’m inviting Tim over.”
“Great, we can’t wait to meet him.” Rose said grabbing Kassie’s hands excitedly.
Kassie smiled and stood up, laughing. “Okay, okay.”
“See you at seven. Mom’s watching the kids so I can drink tonight.” Rose said, Kassie laughed.
“I’ll send them goodies.” She said smiling softly. “See you later.”
“Later.” Rose smiled.
Kassie needed to stop at the market and the florist before heading home. It would help clear her head too. She wouldn’t let her foolish, selfish mother ruin what was going to be a great day.
*****
Tim looked down at Griffin, who stared up at him as if understanding what was being said. Princess was about to pop and Bill was anticipating a good sized litter.
“Yeah, tell Helen to drop by and I’ll give her half of the bill.” Tim said softly. He frowned and shook his head at Griffin who turned and ran off. “Again, I’m real sorry man.”
“No problem.” Bill laughed. “Griff’s a guy and there’s nothing we like better than rump roast.” He referred to Princess, who was a champion show dog.
“Gross dude.” Tim chuckled. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Alright man.” He chuckled. Tim turned off his phone and looked down at Griffin who slinked off to his bed. He got on with his back to Tim, which made Tim laugh. Somehow the crazy mutt always knew how to make himself small.
Since the incident, Griffin had been neutered, though Tim nearly passed out at the thought of such a delicate removal. Tim didn’t want any more surprises with his sometimes out of control dog.
*****
Kassie cleaned the shrimp, covered them in garlic, olive oil and spices and put them in a baking dish. She covered them with cling wrap and popped them in the fridge. She would put them in the oven before everyone arrived. She couldn’t wait to see Tim tonight. She hadn’t been with him in almost two weeks, with him being in Prague and her having to spend a few days in Chicago at book signings and meetings. She wanted to be in his arms. She wanted to be held and loved all night. It was so strong a desire that she nearly picked up her phone to call him.
Kassie was tired of being scared of love and wanted to share her feelings with him tonight. But first she needed to find the right outfit. Tonight Kassie dressed for him. She wanted to look beautiful and sexy for Tim.
She picked out a tight pink dress she’d bought a few years ago and never wore but tonight it would be perfect with peep toe black pumps. Kassie showered and let her hair out of the huge hot rollers orbiting her head like satellites, brushing and finger combing her curls into place. She swiped red gloss over her lips and rimmed her eyes with a smoky charcoal gray liner. Kassie ran over the house making sure that everything was neat and tidy. One of her big pet peeves was a dirty house when company was minutes away. She then went to Tim’s.
*****
Tim laughed with Helen as the girl told him how excited she was about the puppies and her Dad’s first reaction to realizing that Princess was pregnant. Helen was Bill’s seventeen year old daughter. She was a sweet kid and in her senior year of high school. She had been dating the captain of the football team since they were in fifth grade and Bill’s wife Andie swore they were going to get married someday.
Kassie walked out of her yard and over to his house, seeing Tim on his porch laughing with a young girl. His eyes rolled over her the moment she walked through the fence. Kassie felt her blood pressure rising and hoped that the girl didn’t notice the intense sexual tension between them.
“Hi Tim.”
She looked amazing! That dress was giving him the fits.
“Hey baby.”
Kassie looked at the girl and held out her hand.
“Hi, I’m Kassie.”
The young woman shook her hand and smiled.
“I’m Helen.”
Tim looked embarrassed as he muttered, “Griffin got her dog pregnant. I offered to pay half of the medical bills.”
“Oh no!” Kassie laughed. “That little Romeo! Too good looking for his own good.”
They all laughed.
“Alright Helen. Tell Billy I’ll check in on Princess tomorrow.”
“Gotcha Mr. B.”
“Bye.” Kassie said softly. “Nice to meet you.”
“You too.” Helen waved and bounded down the steps.
The moment the girl was out of ear and eye sight, Tim leveled a hot gaze on her and Kassie blushed furiously.
“You better be naked under that dress.” He growled and pulled her to him.
She laughed and pressed her body against him.
“I missed you Timmy.” She whispered seductively.
He groaned and kissed her with all of the pent up hunger and desire within him and Kassie felt her toes curl in her pumps. Her body trembled against his as they shared a moaned. She wanted him just as much as he wanted her.
When she broke off the kiss, Tim slipped his arm around her shoulders and led her inside quickly.
Kassie laughed out loud, “Why are we going inside?” She felt like Little Red Riding Hood being lured in by the wolf.
“Well I was about to peel this dress off of you.” Tim said softly. “And don’t think I should do that on the porch. Even though your breast kissed by sunlight would be a delicious sight.”
Griffin ran up to her, Kassie knelt down, stroking his head and scratching between his eyes and behind his ears
. Tim took her hand and led her upstairs, Griff made it up first.
“We can’t Tim. My friends are coming.” Kassie said gently, looking up at him.
He sighed softly. “Out Griff.” He commanded and the dog didn’t miss a beat, trotting out of the room.
“Aww, Tim don’t-,” She pouting as Griffin trotted out into the hall.
He held up his hand and she saw in his eyes that he was in no mood to argue.
“I want all of your attention on me.”
Tim slowly walked towards her and Kassie couldn’t help but backup, suddenly feeling like prey. He was a man on the hunt and he wanted her, right now.
“I was hoping you would spend the night with me.” Kassie said softly.
“Yes.” He nodded, as if he would be doing that anyway.
“Maybe tonight we can-,” She bit her lip, her back coming up to the wall.
“What?” He stroked her cheek, placing his other hand against the wall next to her head. Kassie felt weak in the knees.
“It’s just that-,” Her voice faltered when his thumb brushed over her nipple.
“Yes baby?” His voice was so soft and sexy that Kassie was trembling now.
“I really like making love with you.” She breathed, making him laugh.
Tim pulled her against him and kissed her hungrily.
*****
Tim closed his bedroom door kissing her over and over again, holding her against him tightly. Kassie bit his lip tenderly, tugging it as she pulled back. She cupped his face, staring into his ocean blue eyes.
“What are we going to do?” Kassie looked up into his eyes.
“I’m going to have a little pre dinner snack.” He whispered seductively.
She closed her eyes. “Tim I-,”
“You’re just going to relax.”
“Not as easy as it sounds.”
He chuckled kissing her gently and backing her to the bed. She sat slowly looking into his eyes. Kassie took off her shoes but he could see that she was nervous. Tim didn’t want that. He wanted her to be relaxed and open to this . . . very open. He kissed her again as he lowered to his knees, wrapping his arm around her waist. Tim pulled Kassie further to the edge of the bed and devoured her mouth, laying her back.
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