GRAY Wolf Mate

by Dianna Love

  When was the last time a man had held her as if that was just as important as having sex with her? No name came to mind and there’d been so few that it was a sad commentary on the men she’d dated.

  “This isn’t going to be easy, is it?” she asked.

  He gave a deep sigh. “No.”

  She appreciated his honesty. Pushing up to face him, she brushed her palm down one side of his face.

  He closed his eyes and leaned into her hand.

  She’d spent years shoring up her defenses and now the man she’d never forgotten had shown up. On top of everything else, he was a shifter.

  Damn. Just damn.

  There was no way forward for the two of them that didn’t end up with them standing on opposing sides of a line in the sand. She was a key player in SCIS and he was a rogue shifter.

  He’d admitted as much. Maybe not rogue, technically, but not part of a pack.

  If only he’d tell her the name of his organization so she could stand on his side.

  Her mind was churning with the need to get back on level footing, which wouldn’t happen if she didn’t put some space between them.

  She cleared her throat and said, “I need to go to the bathroom.”

  When she moved to jump down, he caught her around the waist, lifting her off the counter as if she weighed no more than the magazine sitting on the corner.

  He slowly lowered her to the floor and her body voted for round two with him.

  She wasn’t considering it.

  Really.

  She was just a little unstable and slow to move.

  Getting a second load of that strange energy in the middle of another orgasm might just stop her heart. As if worry about dying from too many orgasms had ever been a concern?

  Oh, hell. She was going to fold.

  Cole straightened her robe, tying the sash. He dropped a kiss on her forehead. “You wanted to go to the bathroom. We still need to talk.”

  Her mind had been mush, but the tone of his voice woke up her professional side, which she dragged back on deck.

  Sidestepping, she said, “Right. Go ahead and get some more coffee. I’ll be back.”

  Then she did an award-winning job of not running from the room, but when she closed the bathroom door she leaned on the vanity. Lifting her gaze, she stared at her tousled hair, which was now completely dry.

  Had she really just let Cole give her an orgasm?

  “I am so screwed.” She wanted Cole to stay, but couldn’t ask him. She could not get involved with a shifter, not even him. Realizing that made her sick.

  She would lose him all over again.

  After a quick cleanup, she brushed her hair back over her shoulders then put on jeans and a T-shirt.

  The buzz had settled into a hum of happiness.

  She and this funky energy needed a new plan if it expected a mind-blowing orgasm to calm it down.

  But her body felt human again.

  Now to challenge her hormones not to do an about face the minute she walked out there. If she lost the challenge, she and Cole would be on the floor finishing what he’d started.

  Not happening. She had to get her head screwed back on right.

  He wanted to talk.

  What do you talk about after the best orgasm you’ve ever had? And the ones she’d had with him in college had topped the charts back then.

  Back to a game plan. After what they’d just done, it felt wrong to talk about SCIS and Cole’s role in the Black River pack case, but talking shop had always been her safe zone.

  What if he hadn’t meant talking about that, but wanted to discuss them? He’d be insulted if she treated what they just did so lightly, right?

  She’d find out soon enough, but she was not acting as if she wouldn’t have taken him to her bed. Still would.

  Argh. If she faced him in court, she’d lose the minute he looked at her.

  But he hadn’t said he wanted to continue what he’d started just now. Did that mean he had reservations?

  Why?

  Time to find out.

  Plus, she still needed to know what he knew about the Black River pack. Finally, her brain began functioning again.

  In the kitchen, her mug had been refilled with steaming coffee. She lifted it and pushed her chair around, putting more distance between them since she didn’t want to sit right now.

  His expression said he knew what she was doing, but he didn’t argue.

  Wrapping an arm around her waist, she propped her elbow on it and sipped her coffee. “You wanted to talk, so I’m guessing we’re back to what we were discussing before, uh ... ”

  Crap. Her mouth was determined to walk her back into non-professional territory.

  Cole came to her rescue, saying, “We were talking about the Black River pack problem.”

  Always a gentleman, Cole was helping her out. She said, “Right, but I have other questions first. If what you say is true about you and your people being an enforcement arm for shifters, why doesn’t SCIS know about you?”

  “A person very high in human government knows our leader, but they both keep it secret. They decided it was the best way to help each other and protect national security. That may change at some point in the near future, but I can’t share more until I’m given authority.”

  “You were explaining how you were different than other shifters. Why weren’t you born into a shifter colony of some sort?”

  He ran a hand over his forehead and started explaining. “I belong to a line of an ancient group of shifters that has been in existence since the sixth century. Shifters such as the ones you know about were around then, but so far from human villages they rarely crossed paths with humans. When they did, werewolf stories developed, which are more myth than truth. But you know what they say about every myth being rooted in some truth. If I’m ever allowed to tell you the full history of my group, I will, but let’s just say we carry power originally bestowed from a druidess long ago.”

  This just got stranger by the moment, but strange had become her norm once she focused on studying shifters. “Are there any other differences?”

  Cole drank his coffee slowly, never moving his gaze from her. He seemed to consider what he was going to say, then put the mug down. “As I mentioned before, most shifters need a clan of some sort to survive and function. That’s because of the power hierarchy in packs and the necessity of being under the protection of an alpha.”

  “I know that.”

  “I have to keep reminding myself that you know some of this since you’re with SCIS.”

  She scoffed. “That’s not why I know about shifters. Most humans read a little and assume a lot. I changed directions after law school and got my masters in the very new study of shifters. She cocked her head at him when he couldn’t hide his surprise. “You’re wondering why?”

  “Yes, I am.”

  “Shifters had been out for a year when you ... left. Two more years later, I finished my law degree.”

  “That doesn’t surprise me after you started college when you turned sixteen. You were always going to steamroll your way to wherever you were going.”

  She never liked bragging about jumping classes from the time she was in sixth grade. Cole hadn’t seemed to mind that she was two years ahead of him at the same age in college.

  “I didn’t mean to interrupt,” he said.

  She wanted him to understand that she knew how their world treated shifters and where she stood. “As part of a class exercise for one of my law professors, we each had to choose a role to be played in one of three mock trials involving shifters. I waited too long and got stuck with being the defense attorney for a cougar shifter charged with first-degree murder of a human. It was just bizarre enough to push me out of the ... mental lull I’d been in.”

  He didn’t react beyond a muscle jumping in his neck, a tiny physical tell at the peek into the way her life had been wrecked after he left.

  She wasn’t trying to make him feel bad, just
explain what caused her to dive into a field that practically gave her father a stroke.

  Moving ahead, she explained, “I guess I needed to think about anything but the normal world while I was trying to finish college. I prepared and presented a case for the shifter. My so-called client, a student in my class, found the whole thing amusing and told me he wouldn’t hold losing against me. The person playing the DA presented a totally bullshit case with crappy evidence. At worst, a human would get off with involuntary manslaughter for an accident that happened during inclement weather. Watching the unfair judgment bothered me, but I also struggled with a shifter’s place in society. I managed a hung jury and turned everyone in the room against me, even my pseudo client, but that’s not what pushed me over the edge.”

  “Your mother?”

  “Yes. How ... ”

  He gave her an apologetic look. “Another confession. When I was about to board the truck, I asked if you had lost someone close, because I was trying to leave without you knowing it was me.”

  When she’d thought he was Colin, Cole had been protecting her even then and had told her he forgave her for what would happen. “You knew about my mother?”

  “I was overseas at the time it happened, and didn’t keep up with a lot of news from back home, but I saw that because your dad is so high profile in the world of shifters.”

  Understatement.

  Taking a sip of her coffee, she said, “Yes, losing my mother had a huge influence on my thinking and career direction. Then there was another incident the first year I had my law degree and was taking on any pro bono case I could fit in that was shifter-related. I figured I’d gain experience while I pushed through my master’s degree. I’d submitted my application to SCIS with the idea that starting there would put me one step closer to becoming a district attorney. I had this idea I could help humans prove cases against shifters.”

  Cole flinched at her admitted one-sided thinking, but said nothing while she continued.

  “I’d seen first-hand how prejudice would eventually end up working against those who failed to present a believable case. A woman I’d met the last year of law school had become a close friend. She was attacked and killed on a hiking trip. I had a personal interest from day one and decided to study that case as it unfolded. Maybe even offer some help if it was needed. First, I reviewed the body. The attack had been ... gruesome. Less than twenty-four hours after the killing, the police captured a shifter and accused him of the crime.”

  Sighing, Cole said, “It had to be a very lucky shifter, or a foolish, trusting one, or more likely, it was the wrong shifter.”

  Curious, she asked, “Why would you say he was lucky?”

  “Under our law, a shifter can’t harm a human unless that human is attempting a lethal attack. If that shifter had been in a pack, he wouldn’t have lived long enough to be captured by the police. If he wasn’t with a pack, he would have been rogue and any alpha would take a hunting party out to deal with him.”

  “That’s murder,” she argued.

  “No, it’s the rule of our world. A shifter who can’t manage his or her animal can’t live in the human world.” Cole put his mug down. “Additionally, any shifter worth his or her salt could not be captured by normal human law enforcement, which means the captured shifter trusted someone to allow them to take him in. What happened?”

  She’d been processing what he told her, and realized there were so many things the jackals had withheld about shifters. Clearly, they weren’t a good source.

  Convincing Brantley of that would be a battle.

  She said, “When I saw the video of the accused shifter’s interrogation, it hit me hard. I just did not believe he committed the crime. He’d never met the woman and, at the time of the crime, he’d been with his pack on a retreat in another state.”

  Now Cole looked angry. “He had an alibi and they still accused him?”

  “Yes. I think law enforcement was feeling pressure everywhere because of constant rioting and killings. They wanted to show a strong front for the humans and let the shifters know they would not tolerate any shifter crimes. Things were crazy at the time.” Like her dad introducing all kinds of over-the-top laws that thankfully didn’t get passed. “Everyone was up in arms and wanted the death penalty.”

  “What about you?”

  “I wanted someone to pay for that crime but not an innocent person, regardless of their being human or shifter. If they stopped at the first convenient shifter, that meant a killer remained loose.”

  “You’re right,” Cole said and she heard admiration in his voice.

  Where had he been when everyone else had treated her like a pariah for taking the shifter’s side?

  She put her mug down softly and cupped her hands together. “The shifter, a twenty-two-year-old male, sat quietly in court as they railroaded him. The minute the trial ended, I was on the phone talking to his defense lawyer about getting an appeal. His court-appointed attorney said no and hung up on me when I tried to argue. At that point, I decided to take his case and—”

  Cole pushed the chair barrier out of the way and covered her cold hands with his big one. His touch immediately stirred that energy in her, but in a way that warmed her soul.

  He asked, “Why?”

  She stopped fidgeting and said, “I wanted the real killer found.”

  “And?”

  Letting out a long breath, she admitted, “I wanted the system to be built on honesty and truth. No one knew what the future would bring with shifters living openly among the human population. If we continued to convict those who did not commit a crime, we’d eventually end up in a civil war. Shifter governing groups, alphas and others, would never work with human authorities.”

  He gave her a solemn nod. “Thank you for being who you are, because this world would explode without the voice of reason from you and any others who agree with you.”

  His compliment soothed so many wounds she’d suffered over the years as she’d fought this battle, too often alone.

  She had to finish so he’d know the truth. “It didn’t end well. They put the shifter in a subterranean—”

  “A hole. Just call it what it is.” Cole pulled his hand back and wrapped it around his own mug.

  Her body ached at the loss of physical connection.

  Her energy slowed as if ... it was sad.

  Now she was assigning emotions to an invisible energy?

  In the silence that fell between them she felt horrible for allowing Brantley to send Colin—Cole—to a hole. She couldn’t deny the truth in that label.

  It was a death pit.

  The place Cole had been headed to when he said he forgave her. That kept gnawing at her conscience.

  He’d known who she was at that moment.

  Now she didn’t feel as if she deserved his forgiveness and moved ahead to get the words out that stuck in her throat. “The shifter couldn’t change to his animal.”

  “That happens with some when they’re put into an area that small, or if they’re chained. The animal is confused and panics. The human goes mad and dies.”

  “He did,” she admitted, fighting back tears. “They found him dead the next morning. They speculated he’d had a heart attack.”

  “That’s not what happened.” Cole cupped his mug, looking into the dark liquid.

  “Tell me,” she urged.

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  Sighing, he put the cup down. “It won’t change that shifter’s death.”

  Her litigator side roared to life. “But I’d have evidence to show why those holding cells don’t work for shifters.”

  “You had it,” Cole snapped. “The body lying in the bottom of that hole should have been the strongest statement about shoving a being into that place without understanding their physiology.”

  The cold truth of his words smacked her in the face. Did he hold her responsible for shifters who died in the holes because she was with SCIS?

&n
bsp; Should he?

  “You were asking about how I’m different from the shifters you encounter,” Cole said, clearly trying to change the subject, and probably for her benefit.

  She grabbed at the new direction like a lifeline. “Yes.”

  “Most alphas of a pack, pride or whatever can draw power from their pack when they need more, but I told you I’m not part of a pack. Even with all that additional power supply they have, the average alpha is not a match for me or anyone in my unit.”

  “What kind of unit?”

  “We have a highly skilled group who can work either together or independently.”

  “So you have no weakness?” she quipped, trying to lighten the air in the room.

  He hesitated, admitting only, “Everyone has a weakness.”

  “But you won’t share yours, will you?”

  “No decent warrior would expose a weakness.”

  She considered all that he’d said. “What are you trying to say, Cole? What’s the real reason you’re here now? You could have just stayed gone and I’d have never known what happened to Colin.”

  “Now that I’ve been in your SCIS facility, I have a better idea how you operate. I don’t want you or any of your people harmed, but you should know that you shouldn’t trust those jackal shifters. They’re paid mercenaries. They’ll kill their first born for the right price.”

  Her jaw dropped open. “You don’t know that. You’re generalizing.”

  “I do know. You haven’t seen them in their natural habitat. They’re bloodthirsty and hold no allegiance.”

  She rolled her eyes.

  His eyes narrowed. “You have no idea what you’re dealing with, Tess. I’m not discounting your knowledge but don’t discount my experience.”

  Well, damn. He had her there.

  When she said nothing, he continued, “My team is going to help find and stop the Black River pack, but this has turned personal. We’re pretty sure they have one of our men. I’m going to find him, but I need you to stay out of my way.”

  Did he think he could dictate the way SCIS ran an investigation? Cole showed up out of the blue, broke into her home and thought she’d fold at the first sight of him?