Blue, Light and Dark (Chubby Chasers, Inc. Series Book 2)

by Brashears, Angie M.

  I don’t belong here. I can stop myself. I won’t let anything get out of control, and I’ll avoid the Chubby House and its basement like the plague. No triggers for me. “Blue, I do think it’s best if I don’t go back to the House for a while.” She eyes me quizzically. “Triggers and all.” I give her a sheepish grin.

  She nods and agrees. My casual use of therapy terminology puts her at ease. We walk back in. I tell her to have a seat while I change and head over to the skeletor nurse. “My ride’s here; time for me to go.”

  I know the doctor already cleared me to leave, so my stomach only hurts a little bit while she rifles through papers, looking for my release forms. Finally, I think as she holds the paper in her hand and has to read every fucking word before she signs next to the doctor’s name on the bottom and hands me the white copy. Yes! I jog to my room to change, putting on a clean pair of jeans and a black T-shirt, my Bonita’s favorite.

  With the trucker hat and my boots on, I feel like me again. I fold the paper carefully and put it in my back pocket. I grab my keys and the small bag before giving the place a last once-over. That’s it. They can burn the rest of this shit for all I care. Grabbing my wallet, I look around once more. I’m never coming back here again. I close the door and head back to the lobby.

  At the desk, I sign out my phone and take the bag of medications the nurse hands to me. Blue sidles up next to me to hear the instructions. Fuck! I didn’t want her knowing about the pills, yet here she is, nodding along with everything the nurse says. She even reads through the printed instructions as we pull out onto the highway.

  “First things first!” I say with fake enthusiasm. I just want her to put the fucking papers down and forget that I’m some kind of psycho who has to be sedated.

  She turns to look at me as I drive. “We need to feed you, now. You’re wasting away to a pile of bones. Too skinny.”

  A blush creeps across her cheeks at the derogatory phrase. She wants to be called skinny? Should I call her ugly now, too? Jeez, women.

  “Javi…” She draws my name out. “I haven’t lost that much weight. Just a few pounds. It’s mostly inches. I’ve been walking. Besides, I’m feeling better, moving a lot easier after dropping a few pounds.” She looks down at her hands at the admission.

  “Aww, Bonita, I just like you to be you. Not what you think society wants you to be. Are you comfortable at this weight now? No more pain?” I pull into the parking lot of the Applebee’s and turn to look at her. I don’t want her to be in any type of pain. I honestly didn’t know she was feeling bad, health-wise.

  Her eyes sparkle as she nods. “Yeah, Javi! I’m truly comfortable. You’re not mad, are you?” She watches my face for any anger. There’s none there. I love this woman.

  I nod and see her facial features relax. “Good, then this is the weight we’ll keep you at. But Bonita,” I say, wagging a finger at her. “No more, okay?” She grins and nods. “Our next stop is going to have to be Bed Bath & Beyond for a scale. We have to make sure you don’t lose any more.” Her laughter announces our arrival into the restaurant. I don’t get what’s funny. I’m serious.

  Blue

  I’m so glad there was actual paperwork, proof that he wasn’t escaping. It was just so sudden. I’m a little shy around him, I’ll have to get used to being with him again. He’s different. I can feel the restraint he’s using not to just grab me and run away. I know he doesn’t want to freak me out.

  I understand him not wanting to go back to the scene of the crime. I’m just so glad that I’ve got him within arm’s reach. I’m more than happy to agree when he asks to stay with me at the condo.

  “It’s yours anyway, Javi.” I wave a French fry at him. “Do I really need to eat all of these?” I ask, dropping the fry on my plate and wiping the grease from my hands in disgust. “They’re greasy,” I pout. “And besides, I’m full.”

  He holds up his hands. “I give up. Leave them, let’s go.”

  He wasn’t kidding about the scale. The first thing I get to do when I walk through the front door is step onto it. Javi memorizes the number, closes his eyes, and mouths the number several times, repeating it over and over like a mantra. He even finds a red marker in the kitchen drawer and marks the weight on the scale. Guess he was serious, after all.

  I can see my nightly walks on the treadmill are out.

  When we sit on the couch, I face him, taking in his beautiful face, his kind smile. I smile back. This man truly loves me. I can see it written all over his face. I’ve waited too long. I don’t know how to say this without sounding like a horny bitch, but here goes, “I want you to sleep with me, Javi. In the same bed.” I swallow, the next part sticking in my throat. “After you make love to me.” There. It’s out. I can’t look at him right now and see rejection.

  He clears his throat and leans into me. “Are you sure that’s what you want, Bonita?” He whispers into my ear, causing shivers to run down my spine. “But we’re not married,” he says, dripping ice water on my growing libido.

  “Javi!” I say, jumping off the coach and starting to pace. Dr. Timlan says the walking helps me relax, and I’m so anxious between the weigh-in and wedding talk, I feel like I could walk to Maine and back and it still wouldn’t help. “This is the twentieth century. I won’t be stoned to death if you deflower me! Jeez. So I’m supposed to wait till we say ‘I do’ before there’s any funny business?”

  I can’t believe him!

  He lets me have my say, just watching wordlessly while I pace, until I stop, hands on my hips, and glare at him. “Well? Do you have anything to say for yourself?” I can’t help it. I’m pissed. I feel like the clock’s been rewound a month and we’re at the same impasse minus the roofies.

  Javi

  I love the way her ass moves in those jeans. She’s pacing and yelling, and I’m staring at her ass way too hard to care. I want her, she wants me. I need her close to me, always with me. Without her, I’m just a shell.

  The way she thrusts her hips out makes me laugh. She’s good and pissed.

  “I’m kidnapping you,” I say, dropping my voice, wanting her to hear the type of sex we’re gonna be having very soon. Her eyebrow cocks, and her lips puff out.

  “You are,” she flirts, batting her lashes, thinking it’s a game that I’m playing. But I’ve never been more serious in my life. I have to have her now.

  “Get your purse. You’ll need your ID where were going.” I stand up and walk towards her, pulling her close, and gently, barely touching her lips, I give the softest kiss. “Oh, and Blue,” I say, smiling down at her, “if you’ve got a white dress, wear it.” I kiss her forehead.

  Blue

  I’m busy trying to remember how to suck in air as he kisses my forehead. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” I ask, feeling dizzy and fluttery.

  He nods and drops to a knee in front of me. “My heart is a puzzle. The first moment I saw you, I knew you were my missing piece. Once I fit you in here,” he points to his chest and continues, “my heart started to beat. Please say you’ll be my wife, or my heart will stop beating forever. He takes my hand and kisses it. “I’ll buy you any diamond you want…in Vegas.”

  Javi

  “In Vegas?” she breathes. I love the flush on her cheeks, the tears in her eyes. She looks down at me with everything I’ve been missing my whole life. When she utters the words, “Yes. I love you, Javi,” my heart ruptures.

  Blue

  Javi makes arrangements. We’re flying tonight! I think excitedly as I put on the ivory dress with a short jacket. I just got this one this week from Hari. She must’ve known with her Spidey-sense. I throw a few outfits, my make-up, and other essentials into a travel bag.

  Javi doesn’t have anything here except for the small bag he brought from the hospital. “I’ll just buy clothes when we get there,” he reassures me.

  “Oh wait, what about Sam?” I ask.

  He sees my problem. Sam is not invited to the wedding.

&nbs
p; After he swears he can handle any triggers life throws his way, he calls Sasha, stepping out of the room while I rush around getting ready for the big day! I can’t help the little niggle of fear that this phone call is the first pull on his trigger.

  When he returns, he says Sasha’s more than happy to watch Sam. “She is, however, extremely pissed that she’s not invited. I told her she can throw the wedding feast when we get back. She’s not happy, but it was just enough to get her off the phone. Tonight’s all about me and you.”

  I walk into his arms, content to be there. I do feel bad about Sasha and Gretchen, but I get what he means. They’d never leave us alone to consummate the damn thing. Besides, I think to myself, I’ll be back living with them soon enough.

  Javi

  “You almost ready? There’s something I’ve got to pick up at the house when we drop Sam off,” I call to her in the bedroom.

  After tonight, she’s all mine. When she comes back into the living room, sweater in one hand, Sam’s cat carrier in the other, I grin. “The last time I took you away, you were holding that same carrier.”

  She winks back. “You don’t have any Twinkies on you, do you?”

  I laugh and pat my pockets. “Nope, fresh out. Besides, my Bonita prefers Ding Dongs. Right, cupcake?’

  Her laugh, carefree and real, warms my soul. “Let me get your bags and we’ll be on our way.” I wiggle my eyebrows and leer suggestively at my girl. She loves it, clapping her hands before she starts the Sam Chase.

  We load the car—Sasha’s old Mustang, I see. I wonder when this happened. All sorts of changes going on. The mice will play, I think. Then I wonder where that ugly thought came from. Shaking my head, I try to get rid of some of the bitterness I’ve accumulated in my cage over the last month.

  Bonita’s excited. I give her a smile as we drive. The only thing holding her in this car is the seatbelt.

  Blue

  “See, I told you I’m fine,” he says to Sasha, but she looks him up and down, looking for any physical evidence that he’s not. He reaches into his jeans and pulls out a folded paper. “Read it for yourself if you don’t believe me.” There is something between them that wasn’t there before. He’s cautious, and a little irked that she takes the paper from him and reads every word.

  Gretchen barrels into the room, knocking Sasha over to get to Javi. “I can’t believe you’re finally out. I’ve missed you!” She wraps him in a bear hug. “And Sasha says you two are getting married? I’m so happy for you! Just like you wanted, Javi.” She lowers her voice, her shiny blue eyes looking directly into his. “Are you happy?” she asks him, and he nods.

  “Blissful,” he answers with a grin.

  “Well, I’m happy, too, Gretchen, in case you were wondering.” I shake my head at her and grin when she finally looks my way.

  She laughs and hugs me. “I don’t even have to wonder. I’ve known from the start that you two belong together. It was just a matter of time.” Her eyes cloud over at the memory of how that time was spent.

  “Water under the bridge, Gretch.” I reassure her.

  He pulls away, pulling me with him. “We’re heading out to Vegas, then on a long honeymoon.” He looks into my eyes as he says this, and I’m out-of-this-world happy. To have him all to myself sounds delicious.

  “I’ve got to grab something.” He kisses my forehead. “I’ll be back in a few.” I watch him walk through the accordion slider. A sigh escapes. I’m so fortunate to have found my soul mate. And what a way to find him. We’ll have a story to tell the grandkids. At the thought of grandkids, which would mean actual kids, my stomach flutters. We’ll have to have that talk, and a blush warms my cheeks at the thought of how soon. By the time I go to sleep tonight, at whatever hour that may be, it’ll be as Mrs. Javier Gustavez.

  “Hey, Blue, whatcha doing in here all alone?” Sasha walks up, hugging me close.

  I look around and realize I am alone. “Just thinking,” I say, smiling up at her.

  “Are you thinking good thoughts or bad ones?” she asks, looking me right in the eye.

  “All good.”

  She lowers her voice with none of the usual shouty capitals going on.

  “Listen, I know he’s done his time in the fun house, but if you ever feel…I don’t know, like you need help, or he’s hard to manage, will you promise to call? Let me help you?”

  I roll my eyes at the serious tone in her voice, but she’s insistent. “You don’t have to run off tonight. Stay here with us. We can get one of those online wedding chapel things, or I’ll run out and steal a priest, whatever you want.” Javi comes in then, gives her a level glare, and she knows as well as I that none of these ideas are going to fly.

  On the way out, we run into Hollister on her way back in from her Sunday outing. “In the future, all jelly donuts in this house belong to Blue.” We all laugh, but Javi’s face remains serious.

  Javi

  The flight to Vegas takes fifty minutes. A waste to some, but saving the four-hour drive is worth it to me. More time spent doting on Blue instead of watching the road. She’s chewing a nail, deep in thought. Sasha and her words of wisdom are probably wearing Blue’s nerves down. I check us in but keep one eye on her, afraid of what cold feet will do to our adventure. I make damn sure those fifty minutes are spent in first class.

  Champagne, roses, chocolates, all bought at an airport store, complete the ride. Nothing’s too good for her. I love her mouth and want it on me. I tell her so, and she gives me a knowing grin, which sets me on edge.

  Am I making a mistake with this one? Jumping in with both feet like my father did with my viper of a mother all of those years ago? Will I find myself at the bottom of an early grave, put there by her hands? I kiss Blue with fervor. Releasing all my pent-up anxiety into her. Trying to tame her, make her mine, always mine, with just a kiss. To spite my wayward thoughts, I whisper into her ear. “You mean everything to me, Bonita.” I feel her begin to relax into my arms just as the wheel’s touch down, and I know it was the right thing to say.

  Blue

  “What hotel are we staying at?” I turn to him, feeling a bit of anxiety creeping in. What am I doing here, in this rent-a-car line, on my way to a wedding with a man who is less than six hours out of a loony bin? A familiar urge, one I haven’t had for a while, begins to nudge my subconscious. I want a giant bag of Famous Amos cookies, a family-sized bag of Cheetos, a few candy bars, and some Mickey D cheeseburgers. And I want a private space to consume it all.

  He just gives me a headshake while papers are signed for our rental car.

  Once in the rented Jeep, the urge to consume takes me over. I can’t sit still. I need a good binge, to calm my nerves. “Javi, can we stop at a convenience store? I’m hungry.”

  He looks at me, with something like regret. “Can you wait, Bonita? For me? I’ve got such a feast planned for after. I don’t want you to lose your appetite. There’s a couple of Snickers in the airport bag if you can’t wait.”

  I can’t. While he gets us to the courthouse, I rifle through the plastic bag, and pull both Snickers out. It’s my nerves and lack of sleep that have me wanting to binge. I tell myself this as I rip the candy bar wrapper open with my teeth and take a bite, closing my eyes. Savoring the flavor of shame. Javi parks and turns to me.

  “Do that again, Blue.” His tone is low, forceful, as he watches me chew open-mouthed, and his hand goes right to the button fly of his Levis. I shove the rest of the candy bar in and swipe at the dripping chocolate before it ruins my dress. I rip the second candy bar open. He groans and fucks his hand through his pants.

  I moan, and before I’ve even swallowed, I’m taking bite after bite of the chocolate till I’m done. He cums, right there in the Clark County parking lot, and doesn’t even have to unbutton his pants to do it.

  I’m relieved. For some strange reason, I was getting the feeling that he wasn’t as into me as he once was. Which isn’t great, since we’re sitting in the 24-hour parking lot, ge
tting ready to pick up our marriage license. Javi has to wake up the license lady, which takes longer than the getting of the actual license. It takes literally five minutes to get a marriage license and a referral by the sleepy clerk to the best chapel on the Strip.

  Which turns out to be the Wedding Chapel of Las Vegas. The most nondescript white tiny church I’ve ever seen. It looks like the church in Little House on the Prairie. Only it’s in between a pawn shop and a gentlemen’s club.

  Inside, the little old couple who greet us welcome us right in, no questions asked. It is Vegas, after all, home to the quickie wedding. We’re ushered to a display case, which holds wedding paraphernalia. Tiaras, veils, rings, cummerbunds, bridal bouquets in every color of the rainbow. A fine layer of dust hangs on the fake flowers, which depresses me. There’s even rice and birdseed to throw. I don’t know who will be doing the throwing. We didn’t bring any friends to witness for us. I walk the length of the glass case, marveling at the huge assortment of stuff— paraphernalia for couples.

  “A package was delivered by courier for you.” My eyebrows shoot up, and I stare at Javi as he accepts the parcel from her. The pink box has “Bellagio” written in silver script across the top. I’m hoping there are no jelly donuts in there.

  Javi drops to his knee, ripping the pink box open and tossing it to the side. “Your hand please, Blue.” I’m shocked, the wedding lady’s practically crying, and Javi just waits—his blue eyes on me—for my hand. When I hand him my right, he quickly switches for the left, and slides a diamond on. One that looks like it belongs behind glass. With its own personal security guard. I blink back tears, and accept the chaste kiss he places on my cheek.