Crane Fly Crash

by Ali Sparkes

  “Dream?” muttered Danny, fluttering closer to Josh.

  “Yep. That’s what she thinks this is,” Josh muttered back. “She just pulled her own leg off! She doesn’t think it’s anything to worry about…”

  “Ah,” said Danny.

  “What are you doing here?” said Josh. “You’re supposed to be guarding us until we get back to normal. And you’re not doing a great job of it, are you? Piddle nearly ate us!”

  “I know. I’m sorry,” said Danny. “I shut the door. But then Mom came in looking for us. I had to hide. Then she didn’t shut the door properly, and so Piddle got in. I stopped him! I put him outside again.”

  “And you’re here now—because?” snapped Josh.

  “Because she came in again. I had to shrink down and hide, or she’d make me go out. I couldn’t guard you then, could I?”

  Josh batted his feelers together wearily. “OK. How do you think you can guard us now, Danny? Now that you need guarding too!”

  “Oh,” said Danny. “I never thought of that.”

  “Ah well,” sighed Josh as Jenny fluttered up and down the windowpane, singing a little song. “It can’t last much longer, anyway. Jenny’s got to change back soon. Then I will—and I’ll have to guard you until you do. So we must stay safely on the windowsill until then. I just hope the light thing doesn’t start up again.” He stared wistfully at the golden glow beside the bed. Danny looked too. It did look incredibly lovely …

  “NO!” said Josh, grabbing Danny’s wings before he could take off. “There’s nothing for you there. Except a burnt face!”

  Josh and Danny joined Jenny. They scuttled up and down the windowpane, staring through the thick glass, out into the garden. It was almost dark, and the streetlights were coming on. They looked nice too … apart from the tickle-tickle-tickle noises of their feet on the glass, it was all quite peaceful.

  “Oh look! It’s Chelsea and Louise!” Jenny suddenly squeaked. “Hey! Chelsea! Lou!”

  Outside they could see two of Jenny’s friends walking along the street toward the house, chatting together. “Chelsea! Lou!” shouted Jenny, excitedly. “Up here!” And she flapped her pathetic legs against the glass.

  “Umm … Jen,” said Josh. “I don’t think they can hear you!”

  Suddenly, with a vroom of her spindly wings, Jenny shot up the windowpane. Josh and Danny realized, to their horror, that she was heading for a narrow gap where one of the small top windows was ajar.

  “Jenny! NO! Don’t go out!” yelled Danny. But it was no good. Jenny wasn’t listening. She was already mostly outside, one last leg flicking through after her.

  “Now what?” gasped Josh. “How did that happen? We’re supposed to be keeping her safe!”

  “Quick! After her,” yelled Danny. He hurtled up the glass and through the gap after his sister.

  The cool evening air was quite refreshing as Danny and Josh drifted through it, trying to see where Jenny had gone. It smelled of damp grass and late summer blossom. Moths and midges zoomed around them, thrumming and whining.

  “There!” said Josh. “She’s down there! Oh no! What does she think she’s doing?”

  Jenny had always been popular with the girls at school. Somehow, tonight, they weren’t so interested. As she glided toward them, calling out their names, the girls at first ignored her. This wasn’t so bad.

  “It’s OK—they’re ignoring her,” said Josh. He chuckled. “She won’t like that!”

  “Noooo,” said Danny flapping along beside him. He dodged a rather heavyweight moth that was giving him a funny look as it bumbled past. “Her best friends ignoring her won’t do her any harm. It’s the bit when they try to kill her that is going to upset her.”

  He wasn’t wrong. Four seconds later, Jenny fluttered eagerly in front of Chelsea’s nose. A lot of shrieking split the evening air. Both Chelsea and Louise began to bash frantically at the creepy leggy thing in their faces.

  “UGGH! KILL IT! KILL IT! GET IT OFF ME!” squealed Chelsea.

  Poor Jenny did somersaults through the air, horrified. Josh and Danny swooped down and managed to catch her. “Stop!” yelled Danny. Josh restrained his sister from going back for another try. “Don’t bother, Jen! They’re not worth it!”

  “I never liked them anyway,” added Josh.

  Jenny sniffed. “I thought they were my friends.”

  “Yes, but that was before you turned into a four-legged freak,” pointed out Danny.

  “And remember,” added Josh. “This is just a dream, anyway.”

  “Ooooooh!” said Jenny. She began to flap her way toward something new. She flapped so hard she dragged Josh and Danny with her.

  This time it was an orange light. A bulb in an orange glass shade, which hung from the wooden beam above a front porch. It was a bit of a jumping, jiving hot spot. It was already heaving with the local nightlife. Three large moths were spiraling around inside it. At least a dozen midges were bouncing up and down in the cooler pool of light by the glass rim. A dozy-looking, see-through lacewing swayed about in one corner, gazing into a dazzling crystal cube up by the hot metal bulb socket.

  “Oh not this again!” moaned Josh as he and Danny were dragged in with Jenny. “Jen! You know you’ll only end up getting hurt!”

  But Jenny was already head-butting the porch light. Danny was right up there next to her. Their cries of delight and pain echoed all around the orange glass room created by the outdoor lightshade.

  Josh shivered and made himself turn away from the light. The glow was so incredibly tempting! He peered out into the night sky and saw something black and arrow-shaped suddenly zoom past. It made him gulp with horror. He knew what that was. He had seen it circling their garden on many warm summer evenings. It was a bat. A pipistrelle bat. And pipistrelles liked nothing better than a mouthful of crane fly.

  Josh took a deep breath and turned around. Ignoring the dozy green lacewing as it fluttered past him into the night air, he dived back into the orange insect disco. He managed to tangle his limbs around Danny and Jenny and tug them back outside. “There!” he said, pointing a leg at Jenny’s bedroom window. “That’s the light we want! That one!” And he zoomed straight for it, dragging his siblings with him.

  The dark arrow flitted by so close that he heard himself scream. Then he realized it wasn’t his scream. The dozy-looking lacewing shot over his head, feebly flapping in the vicious teeth of the bat.

  Thud-thud-thud. They hit the bedroom window. Then Josh dragged Jenny and Danny up to the opening and shoved them through it. Exhausted, they all slid down the inside of the glass and landed in a quivering heap on the sill.

  For a few seconds there was peace.

  Until …

  VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  “What is THAT?” screamed Jenny.

  Josh and Danny stared at each other, mystified. They had heard some weird noises when they’d been shrunk down to creepy-crawlies before but nothing like this. The howling, droning noise just went on and on. And it was getting louder.

  “Uh-oh!” gulped Danny, as a gigantic figure loomed back into Jenny’s bedroom. It was all too big to take in properly. He could see a long shining thing, moving in front of the gigantic figure. The long shining thing was making the VROOOOOOOO noise. It was moving from side to side. And getting closer.

  “What is it?” asked Josh. Jenny squeaked and shut her wings up tight and scrunched her four legs close together.

  “It’s Mom,” said Danny. “And the vacuum.”

  “Oh dear,” said Josh.

  “Oh help!” yelled Danny. “It’s coming this way.” And it was. The long shiny thing was waving through the air. Mom always vacuumed the cobwebs off the wall, ceilings, and … windowsills!

  CRASH!

  Suddenly the shiny metal tube, with an enormous round, black sucking mouth, was at the far end of the windowsill. A cloud of dust and cobwebs was swirling up in front of it and then being whipped away into the dark tunnel. A tunnel from wh
ich there could be no escape.

  “FLY! FLY!” shrieked Danny. They all shimmied up into the air, shrieking with fear. The sucking nozzle swept along the sill to the corner where they’d been crouched seconds earlier. Then it began to climb up toward the top corner of the window. The three crane flies were flapping about in a kind of multi-legged disco dance of terror.

  “Outside again!” yelled Danny. But Josh saw the black arrow shape flicker past, seeking more insect munchies.

  “NO—THIS WAY!” bawled Josh. He shot across the glass at an angle, past the upper end of the nozzle. He dropped down as fast as he could go, off the edge of the sill and into a dark narrow chasm.

  Plop! Plop! Jenny and Danny skidded in behind him. They all clung to the dusty wallpaper, jiggling up and down with shock. “We should be safe here,” whispered Josh. “We’re down behind the radiator.”

  “What about spiders?” said Danny, looking around edgily. He’d come horribly close to getting eaten by a spider when he spent some time being a housefly earlier that summer.

  “Can’t see any,” said Josh.

  “OK—what about when she changes back?” said Danny. “It can’t be long now before she cha—I mean, before she wakes up from her dream,” he added, realizing that Jenny was listening. “She’s going to end up a bit flat!”

  Josh nodded. Changing back to normal would be impossible behind the radiator. Jenny would get squished. She would look like a human waffle.

  “Look—I don’t know what I’m doing here,” said Jenny, suddenly. “This is a stupid dream, and I’ve had enough of it. I’m going to meet the sucky monster and get it over with. Then I’ll wake up.”

  “No! Jenny—don’t!” yelled Danny and Josh.

  She looked quite surprised. “You don’t want me to get sucked up by a monster? Man, that’s a shock. Well, in that case, I’ll just have to wake myself up!” She scrunched up her horsey brown face. The little fingery bits on her mouth twiddled through the air as she concentrated hard.

  KER-LANGGGGG! VROOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  Josh and Danny and Jenny all looked up and shrieked. Mom had changed over to the thin nozzle. The one that could fit down behind the radiator! And it was hurtling straight toward them!

  Danny went first. He was the closest. He suddenly found his wings were being dragged upward by the sucking vortex of air that was funneling up into the nozzle. The end of the nozzle was flattened and narrow. But it was still wide enough to suck him right through.

  “HEEELP!” he yelled as he tried to hang on to one of the fixings that held the radiator to the wall. First, his back legs flew up behind him … then the middle ones … then … “AAARGH!” he screamed as he lost his grip and shot up through the air, spinning and twisting.

  “DANEEEE!” shouted Josh, trying vainly to catch him as he was flung past.

  “DANEEEE!” cried Jenny. And she lost her grip too and was whipped away up after her little brother.

  “NO! JENNY! DANNY! COME BACK!” wailed Josh, even as his own back legs were pulled off the wall. He was tugged up, up, to the swirling black funnel of death. He could just imagine spinning and flailing all the way up the metal nozzle. Along the wobbly plastic tube into the big chamber full of dust and fluff and old chips and dried-up peas and toenails and dead flies and dead spiders and dead … he gulped … crane flies. It was a vacuum tomb. And he was going into it…

  THWIP! Up he shot, and he had only time to notice the black rim of the nozzle whacking his legs together when all of a sudden there was a CLUNK. And the VROOOOOO noise went VROOo-oo-ossssssssssssss. And stopped.

  Josh clung on to the rim of the narrow nozzle, staring around in amazement. Someone had switched the vacuum off! It was OFF.

  Then, in the silence, he heard a whimper. He turned, peering up into the dusty gloom of the nozzle tube. He could just make out a tangle of skinny brown limbs and wings and four eyes a little way above him.

  “Danny? Jenny?! Are you OK?” he squeaked. They squeaked back. And then they wriggled, and a second later, they were tumbling down to him. All three of them fell out of the nozzle in a leggy knot and hurtled down to the floor. They didn’t have much time to get any of their wings going, but fortunately it was a soft landing. They fell on one of Jenny’s slippers.

  For a moment they just stared at one another. Then they began the job of untangling and counting limbs. Jenny was sniffing a bit. “You tried to save me,” she murmured. “You know, even though it’s just a dream, that was quite sweet of you both … ”

  Danny and Josh stared at her for a few astonished moments. Then they shook their heads and carried on with the leg sorting.

  “How many legs have you lost?” said Danny.

  “Two,” said Josh. “You?”

  “One. And a half,” said Danny, inspecting the one that was snapped off at the knee. “It does sting a bit, doesn’t it?”

  “How about you, Jenny?” asked Josh.

  “I feel funny,” said Jenny. She had only three legs left. Her wings were all scrunched up. There was something about the look on her face that warned Josh and Danny to back away. Fast.

  “Here she goes!” yelled Josh. “Fly for it! N OOOW! ”

  Mom unplugged the vacuum and then wound up the cord. There was a thud. She turned around. She stared in astonishment at her daughter, who was lying down next to the radiator, waving her legs in the air and going, “One—two! One—two! I’ve got two legs! Two legs! Not three! Phew!”

  “How did you get down there?” Mom asked, mystified. She didn’t notice two crane flies that flapped past her left ear and out onto the landing.

  “I don’t know,” said Jenny, scratching her head. “I think I’ve been working too hard at school. I just had the freakiest dream …”

  Mom looked into Danny and Josh’s room. “Oh! So you’re back now, Josh. Where’s Danny?”

  Josh turned around, with his hands cupped together. “Oh—he’s around,” he smiled, brightly. He seemed quite out of breath.

  “What have you got there?” asked Mom, warily. She knew how much Josh loved creepy-crawlies.

  “Oh—just a little friend,” said Josh. He opened his fingers to reveal a crane fly with only four and a half limbs.

  “He’s been through the wars!” said Mom, squinting at Danny.

  “Mmmm,” said Josh, giving her a rather hard stare.

  As Mom went outside again, she heard another thud and grinned, shaking her head. Danny must have been hiding! The boys were playing one of their games.

  Danny and Josh ran into Jenny’s room.

  “Get OUT of my—” began Jenny, but they ignored her. They dug under the bed and retrieved the S.W.I.T.C.H. spray.

  “This is our bottle,” said Josh. “We put water and … and …”

  “… Piddle’s piddle in it!” added Danny.

  “Oooh—you disgusting little …” Jenny trailed off. She was staring at her bedside lamp in a dreamy way. Josh ran to put the S.W.I.T.C.H. spray up at the farthest corner of the top shelf of their highest cupboard.

  DING-DONG! chimed the front door. “Jenny!” called up Mom. “It’s Chelsea and Louise!”

  Danny and Josh sat at the top of the stairs and watched Jenny walk down. Chelsea and Louise stood by the door. “Hi!” they both called. “You want to come out?”

  Jenny stared at them through narrow eyes, her arms folded.

  “Come on,” laughed Chelsea. “What are you looking all funny about? You wait till you hear what we’ve heard about Kelly Smith! You’ll just die! ”

  “Yes. I might just do that,” snapped Jenny. “You know … I don’t think I do want to come out with you tonight. The pair of you—you just kill me!”

  Chelsea and Louise stared at Jenny and then at each other, as she propelled them back outside.

  “OK—don’t get in a flap, Jen,” giggled Chelsea. “Come on out! Just as you are. You look great in that short skirt. All leggy!”

  Jenny stared at her legs and then glared at Chelsea. “Just don’
t feel like going out tonight,” she growled.

  “So—what—you’re just going to sit at home all evening?” gasped Louise, astonished.

  “Yes,” said Jenny. “I’ll see you tomorrow. But tonight, for some reason, I just want to look at my bedside lamp.”

  She didn’t even notice Josh and Danny rolling about laughing on the landing as she stomped back upstairs.

  “Here! Take it back!” said Danny, as soon as Petty opened her front door. He thrust the spray bottle into her hand. She scowled and pulled them quickly into her hallway, slamming the door shut behind them.

  “Have you forgotten everything I’ve told you?” she demanded. “Remember—we may be being watched! At any time! I told you, there are government spies always keeping me under surveillance.”

  Josh folded his arms. “But if this Victor Crouch guy really burnt out your memory and got you kicked out of the government’s secret science labs, why would they bother with you again? They must think you don’t know anything.”

  “You really don’t pay attention, do you?” snapped Petty. “Victor Crouch realized—too late—that the research he stole from me was fake! He will not have been able to make S.W.I.T.C.H. spray himself. The code for making it is here, with me! And all he got was the fake code.

  “So he will be having me watched, just in case I look like I might be able to remember again. He’s hoping I’ll still be active.”

  “Active?” echoed Danny.

  “Yesss! Working as a genius scientist once more. Which, of course, I am! But nobody knows it except me and you. So that’s why we have to be careful. I have to carry on looking like a scatterbrained old biddy. And you have to carry on looking for the missing REPTOSWITCH cubes, if we’re ever going to make the reptile spray. I don’t suppose you’ve found another one, have you?”

  Petty wandered into her kitchen and took two small velvet boxes off a high shelf. She opened the red one to reveal six sparkling glass cubes, each with a tiny hologram inside it. These were BUGSWITCH cubes, each containing a vital part of the code for making BUGSWITCH spray.