Space Crime Conspiracy

by Gareth P. Jones

  ‘Won’t you join us?’ said Curlip.

  ‘No. Kevolo was out of order, but I still have a job to do. It’s a matter of honour.’

  ‘We have different ideas about honour, but I respect your decision.’

  ‘What about you, Stanley?’ said General P’Tang. ‘Will you join us?’

  ‘Yes, come with us,’ said Jupp.

  ‘Where are you going?’ asked Stanley.

  ‘Wherever you want,’ she replied.

  ‘I want to go home.’ The words poured out of his mouth without him thinking about them. He had had no idea until that moment how strong the desire to return was, but suddenly it felt like the truest thing he had ever said. He didn’t know if he wanted to go back to Earth for ever, but the moments he had experienced when he thought he could never return had made him realise that he wanted to go back there now.

  ‘If that is your wish, we will take you,’ replied General P’Tang.

  .

  PART FIVE

  There is a moment of silence after Stanley concludes his story. It seems to take DI Lockett a while to realise that he has finished. Eventually a small cough from PC Ryan awakes her from her trance. She looks up at Stanley and says, ‘And the Brotherhood brought you back here?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Did the Goodship Gusto land on earth?’

  ‘No, they teleported me here.’

  DI Lockett remembers how he was covered in dust when he was picked up.

  ‘What about Spore?’ she asks.

  PC Ryan is unable to hide his embarrassment at these questions, but DI Lockett ignores the look on his face.

  ‘I left him with Jupp,’ replies Stanley.

  ‘Why?’

  ‘I was worried what would happen to him if I brought him here. I thought someone would take him away from me.’

  ‘I have a question,’ says Dr McGowan. ‘I want to know why you didn’t stay on the Gusto too.’

  ‘I wanted to come back.’

  ‘Why?’ asks DI Lockett. ‘From what you’ve said, you didn’t have much worth coming home for. A half-brother who resents you living with him and classmates who think you’re a thief. Why come back?’

  Stanley thinks about this before replying. ‘My life isn’t perfect, but then whose is? Jupp’s isn’t. She’s always on the move, unable ever to go home, no friends her own age. Nor is Hal’s, living his whole life in fear. But at least I’ve got a home.’

  ‘Ah, an important lesson to learn,’ says Dr McGowan. ‘There’s no place like home.’

  Stanley thinks Dr McGowan says this sarcastically, but he doesn’t care. ‘Besides, Jupp said she would look in on me in a few years’ time.’

  DI Lockett smiles and stands up. ‘Well, thank you for telling us your story, Stanley. We’re going to step outside for a minute. Will you be OK here on your own?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘And if it’s all right with you, I’ll give your brother a call. I’m sure he’s more anxious to see you than you realise.’

  ‘Maybe.’

  PC Ryan holds the door open for DI Lockett and Dr McGowan.

  ‘Inspector Lockett?’ says Stanley.

  ‘Yes, Stanley?’

  ‘Thank you for listening to my story. I know it sounds incredible and no one will believe me, but it’s the truth and that’s what you asked for.’

  DI Lockett smiles kindly. ‘I believe you, Stanley,’ she replies.

  On the other side of the two-way mirror DI Lockett, Dr McGowan and PC Ryan look in on Stanley.

  ‘What do you think?’ asks DI Lockett.

  ‘You want my professional opinion?’ replies Dr McGowan. ‘The boy has an amazing imagination. I didn’t hear the entire story, but from what I heard it seemed reasonably well structured and cleverly put together. You’re right – there is no way he was making it up as he went along. It must have taken him some time to invent. There are certain omissions though.’

  ‘Like what?’

  ‘Like why the Planner chose his DNA to replicate. Remember he said that Kevolo supplied the machine with hundreds of samples. Why his? What’s so special about him?’

  ‘I don’t think he knows why,’ says DI Lockett, feeling irrationally defensive about Stanley’s story.

  ‘I’ll tell you why. It’s a question of egocentric invention. The story has been entirely created around the storyteller. It’s a classic mistake made by those who make up alternative realities for themselves. It’s all about him. Stanley feels victimised and ignored in life, so in his invented reality he vindicates himself of all crimes while also becoming the most famous person in the galaxy. It’s fairly standard stuff.’

  ‘So you’re saying the story is wish-fulfilment?’

  ‘Exactly that. In Spore, we saw Stanley’s desire for constant companionship. In Jupp, his desire to be popular with girls. In Hal, an aspirational male role model. In the court case itself, we see Stanley find himself innocent.’

  ‘That’s right,’ says PC Ryan. ‘Remember how he told us about stealing from school?’

  DI Lockett nods. It makes sense. But she wants to believe Stanley because she just doesn’t get the feeling he is lying. Even if it isn’t true, she is certain that he thinks it is.

  ‘None of this explains where he has been,’ she says.

  ‘He’s been hiding somewhere, dreaming up this incredible story,’ replies Dr McGowan, with an edge in his voice.

  ‘Hiding where? I had half my force out looking for him.’

  ‘Perhaps he knew that too. Maybe that’s why the police feature so heavily in his story. Give me some time with him alone. I’ll get your answers for you.’

  DI Lockett doesn’t want to leave McGowan alone with Stanley. She doesn’t like the man, but she knows that she must act professionally in this matter. Stanley’s disappearance has been big news. As soon as the media gets wind that he has turned up they will descend on the station like hungry wolves. She must do everything she can to ensure that correct procedure is followed. Regardless of her own personal feelings, if Dr McGowan can help unravel the mystery then she must go against her instincts and give him some time alone with Stanley.

  ‘I’m going to call his brother and get him to come here,’ she says. ‘You have until I get back.’

  ‘That should be long enough,’ replies Dr McGowan.

  Stanley is disappointed to see the psychologist re-enter the room alone. He likes DI Lockett. He is less sure about this man. He closes the door behind him.

  ‘Detective Inspector Lockett seems quite taken with your story,’ he says.

  ‘I don’t expect anyone to believe me,’ replies Stanley.

  ‘Because it’s a lie?’ Dr McGowan asks it like it’s a question but it sounds more like an accusation.

  ‘No. Because it sounds incredible and unless you’ve left this planet then it all sounds impossible.’

  ‘Let’s say the story is true, shall we? There are a few things that bother me.’

  ‘Like what?’

  ‘The spy who sent your DNA, who was that?’

  ‘I don’t know. It could be anyone, couldn’t it? People leave DNA all over the place: hair, spit, toenails. And Kevolo said he got hundreds of samples.’

  ‘So why did the Planner select your DNA for replication?’

  ‘I don’t know.’

  ‘But presumably there was some reason why the Planner thought a replica of you would make the ideal killer of the president.’

  ‘You’d have to ask it.’

  ‘Yes, but that’s not possible, is it? Kevolo’s shot put it beyond repair, didn’t it?’

  ‘I don’t know. We left straight after. They’ll probably be able to mend it.’

  Dr McGowan leans over the table and says, ‘No, they can’t.’

  Stanley recoils. ‘How do you know?’

  Dr McGowan smiles. Something about him seems different.

  ‘Who are you?’ says Stanley.

  ‘My name is of no consequence.’ He pulls out from his
pocket a syringe with a long needle and purple liquid inside the vial.

  ‘Psychologists don’t carry syringes,’ says Stanley. He tries to move back but Dr McGowan’s hands clamp his wrists down against the table. It takes him a moment to realise but he sees that Dr McGowan is holding the syringe in one hand while using two more to prevent him from moving. He has three arms. ‘You’re an Armorian.’

  ‘Indeed I am and a child of the Planner, which you helped destroy. Now, don’t worry, this won’t hurt . . . It will kill you, but it won’t hurt.’

  ‘Help!’ shouts Stanley.

  ‘It’s soundproofed,’ says Dr McGowan calmly.

  Stanley looks up at the camera.

  ‘PC Ryan has disabled that,’ says Dr McGowan. ‘And he’s making sure no one is looking in through the two-way mirror. DI Lockett won’t be able to help you now. And when I’ve killed you I’ll get rid of her too. She seems far too susceptible to your story, doesn’t she?’

  ‘But why?’

  ‘I’m a containment officer, Stanley. It’s of the utmost importance that pre-contact planets remain just that, pre-contact. We certainly don’t want your story leaking out prior to the point when we decide to contact.’

  ‘You mean invade.’

  ‘Let’s not get bogged down in semantics.’

  ‘But can’t you just wipe my memory or something?’

  ‘I didn’t bring the equipment for that, and besides, this is neater and much more fun. The problem is that your story portrays Armoria in a less than favourable light, and even if no one believes you now, when we do decide to contact – whether that’s in five, ten or fifty years’ time – we want to start off on a good foot.’

  ‘But Commander Kevolo’s gone now.’

  ‘Kevolo was one man. Armoria is a great planet that will continue to expand its borders to ensure that the universe is a safe and orderly place. The arrest of one egomaniac isn’t going to change that.’

  ‘So I won’t tell anyone anything on Earth then. No one will believe me anyway.’

  ‘That’s not good enough, I’m afraid. These people are mostly sceptical, but we can’t have the details of your little adventure spilling out and ruining our procedure. Now hold still.’

  Dr McGowan angles the syringe down and begins to lower it towards Stanley.

  ‘You is a bad man.’

  Dr McGowan looks thrown by the voice because the words haven’t come from Stanley’s mouth but from his jacket pocket. They are followed by the sudden appearance of a small mushroom, which flies out and smacks into his face.

  ‘Argh,’ cries Dr McGowan. He releases Stanley as he tries to grab Spore. Spore rebounds off Dr McGowan’s face and lands back on the desk. The doctor attempts to swat him, but Spore is too quick. He leaps off the table, bounces head first on the floor, shoots up to the ceiling then back down on to the top of Dr McGowan’s head, causing him to lose his balance, kick a chair across the room and collapse.

  ‘Come on,’ urges Stanley. Spore jumps up again, bounces on the floor, somersaults in mid-air and Stanley catches him.

  Dr McGowan looks dazed from his fall. He looks for the syringe that is no longer in his hand. Lowering his gaze he sees that it has lodged itself in his chest. He holds his breath in fear that a sudden movement will cause the plunger to go down and the deadly liquid enter his bloodstream.

  Stanley opens the door to find PC Ryan standing on the other side. ‘Where do you think you’re going?’ he asks.

  ‘If you don’t get out of my way I’ll scream at the top of my voice and every human police officer in this station will come and find this three-armed alien. Try containing that.’

  Stanley steps to one side so that PC Ryan has a good view of Dr McGowan, who is sitting very still with the syringe in his chest.

  ‘What shall I do, sir?’ asks PC Ryan.

  ‘Get this thing out of me,’ whispers Dr McGowan.

  PC Ryan goes to help him and Stanley makes his escape.

  As Stanley steps out of the police station and runs he wonders whether he should have yelled for help while still inside, but it is too late now. Dr McGowan will have hidden his third arm. Stanley squints in the sunlight. It is a bright sunny day, but cold, and he can see his breath.

  He knows that Dr McGowan and PC Ryan won’t be far behind.

  He turns a corner and sprints to the end of that road. He is hoping to get far enough away so that they can’t follow him, but he can hear footsteps and as he turns the next corner he catches a glimpse of the two men chasing him.

  ‘Why you joggle me so much?’ says Spore.

  Stanley has no time to apologise. He sees an alleyway that runs behind some houses. He has never been down it before, but it seems like a good idea because Dr McGowan and PC Ryan are not in sight yet and he thinks he might be able to lose them. He runs down the alleyway. It turns another corner and then to his dismay comes to a dead end. Stanley feels frantic. On either side of the alleyway are high brick walls with broken glass mixed into the cement on the top. There are wooden doors leading into backyards, but the ones he tries are all locked.

  They are getting closer. Stanley tries to formulate a plan but nothing comes. He pushes his back against the wall and waits.

  In front of him a tiny black hole appears, no larger than a fly but a perfect circle and unmoving. Stanley blinks, thinking he must be seeing things, but in the time it takes for his eyelids to close and reopen the hole has expanded and two cloaked figures have stepped out of it. Stanley recognises them at once as the men who chased him just before he was arrested by Officer Grogun. They have pale faces and dark eyes, which flicker at the sound of the footsteps behind them. They draw long staffs from their cloaks and spin round to face Dr McGowan and PC Ryan.

  ‘Excuse me, gentlemen, we have official police business with this boy,’ says PC Ryan.

  The two men say nothing but hold their staffs horizontally in front of them, preventing them from passing.

  ‘I am an Armorian containment officer and you are obstructing official business,’ says Dr McGowan.

  The men say nothing.

  ‘Who are you?’

  ‘We represent the SSS,’ says one of the hooded men. The way he says it makes it sound like the hiss of a snake.

  Stanley has no idea what this means, but Dr McGowan clearly understands. ‘Well, you have no place here. This is a pre-contact planet. Stand aside, please.’

  ‘You have no business telling us our business,’ says the other hooded man.

  PC Ryan and Dr McGowan step forward and the two men weigh in with their staffs. The four men struggle together, and Stanley sees his opportunity. He runs back the way he came, out of the alleyway.

  Two more corners and he can see the sign for The Castle swinging in the breeze. He is surprised to find that he actually feels as if he has missed the place. He reaches the pub, turns and checks that there is no one behind him, then pushes the heavy wooden door and steps inside.

  A sad song of lost love is playing in the pub as the door swings shut behind Stanley. Old Bill is sitting by the fireplace, Young Bill stands at the jukebox and Gullible George is on his stool by the bar.

  ‘Hey, Stanley, you’re back,’ says Young Bill.

  ‘Been to school, have you?’ says Gullible George.

  ‘He’s been missing, George. Remember? You saw it on the news.’

  ‘On the news, that’s right.’

  ‘Where’s Doug?’ asks Stanley.

  ‘Isn’t he with you? He got a call from the station, saying they found you. He left us minding the bar for him,’ says Young Bill.

  ‘Listen, this is going to sound crazy, but any second now some people are going to come through that door looking for me. If they find me, they’ll kill me. I need to hide.’

  ‘Are you in some kind of trouble?’ asks Young Bill.

  ‘Use the cellar,’ says Old Bill. ‘We’ll tell them you went out the back.’

  ‘Thanks.’ Stanley nods and rushes round the side of the ba
r. He lifts up the trapdoor that leads to the cellar and goes down. He has only ever been here before to help himself to the occasional packet of peanuts. There is only one way in or out. If Dr McGowan and PC Ryan have got past the men in cloaks, they will come to the pub. He knows that the Bills won’t give him away and he can only hope that George doesn’t say anything stupid. If they do find him he has nowhere to run.

  He watches the cracks of light round the cellar door and listens to the footsteps. Someone has entered the pub. He hears two thuds like two heavy sacks being dropped on the floor. Or like two bodies collapsing.

  ‘I scared,’ says Spore.

  Stanley puts his hand over Spore’s mouth to prevent him saying any more. He is scared too. The crack in the trapdoor widens. It is being opened from above.

  PC Ryan’s voice says, ‘Come on up, we know you’re down there. You don’t want to die like a rottleblood in a cellar, do you now?’

  Stanley walks up the steps. As he nears the top PC Ryan grabs his collar and drags him round the other side of the bar. He sees Young Bill and George lying unconscious on the floor. Dr McGowan is standing next to Old Bill.

  ‘Don’t worry, they’re not dead,’ says Dr McGowan.

  ‘We don’t want to cause any more deaths than necessary,’ says Old Bill.

  ‘Old Bill? You’re the spy?’ says Stanley incredulously.

  ‘Yes, and I’ve been stuck on this miserable planet for fifteen years. I’m glad I’ll have to finally leave, but, do you know, I’ve come to quite like those two. I liked you too, Stanley, but this is my job. You understand, don’t you?’

  ‘No, I don’t understand.’

  ‘Sorry, were you hoping a spy would be a bit more glamorous? To be honest, I was hoping for a bit more glamour myself. Instead I’ve just been stuck here, sending reports back on you lot.’

  ‘So you sent Kevolo my DNA?’

  ‘I sent him lots of people’s DNA. After the request came down, I simply hung on to one strand of hair from every head I cut, bundled it up and sent it to Kevolo. Suddenly this stupid job I’d got of trimming your head growths became useful. I figured they just wanted it for some kind of species analysis. I’d forgotten yours was even amongst them, and I certainly couldn’t have guessed it had anything to do with the murder of President Vorlugenar.’