Loves Mirage

by Lisette Kristensen

  Before he could answer she was out the door. He plopped back on the bed; his hands covered his face. What the hell? It wasn’t a proud moment, and it looked like Taylor wasn’t going to go down without a fight. Derrick felt like his world was spinning around him and he had lost control.

  A woman he hadn’t seen in years walks through the door and his life is floundering. Another woman he doesn’t love and thought would be easily handled isn’t so easy after all. He had never been in a pickle like this. He always controlled the women in his life, they may not like it but he never let them run his life.

  This was his mess. He stood up and headed for the shower. He had to find out.

  Was Emma worth the fight that would come?

  ~*~*~*~

  Emma sped away from Simone’s, and headed for Manhattan Beach. Her thoughts tumbled in several directions. Did I know what I was doing? Derrick had been trouble in the past, had he changed? If not, then what? Getting back to the old haunts wouldn’t take long and she needed a plan. That made her laugh for her life never had a plan. She had been like flotsam in the ocean bobbing and floating along. The bane of being wealthy, her dad had always said.

  The bigger question that confronted her was what would she say when she found him? She had an idea where he might be, but it was a longshot. Do I enlist Missy? She was a wild card, but she trusted her. She shook her head and muttered, “You’re nuts.” Missy had been a pure party girl, and had never taken life too seriously. Was the trust wishful thinking?

  To pop back in and become bff’s in a blink was weird and could be dangerous. It’d been years but Emma needed someone in her corner. She’d stay away from Simone. Simone would have her committed if she knew the who, what, and where. Tapping her fingernails fast to the steering wheel, Missy it would be. “You’re crazy girl.” She was, but she needed a wing man if she was going to dive back into her old life.

  Emma parked down the street from the Pub. She wanted time to pull herself together and figure out what the boundaries were going to be, if any. She wasn’t dressed like she was on a hunt this time; she wore a simple sundress; it was fun and beachy. She wouldn’t stand out so easily like the last time. This time she didn’t linger outside, she pushed the door open and found herself in an empty place. No one was there.

  She started to back out when a voice called to her. “Is that you, Em?”

  Emma didn’t recognize the man’s voice right away. It did sound familiar. Her blues searched through the dimness and spotted a portly man sitting in the corner. He had a long beard and wore a baseball cap. She sauntered toward to him, trying to figure out who it was. When she got closer, she recognized him, Conrad.

  He had changed. He was older looking than she remembered and heavier. She didn’t remember him having tattoo’s before, his arms were painted with them.

  “Conrad?”

  He roared with a deep laugh and smacked the table. “One in the same. I heard you were cruising down here a few back.”

  Word travelled fast, that part hadn’t changed.

  Emma stood there with a smirk. “Got bored so thought I’d venture down to visit the old crowd.”

  Conrad gave her a grin with a raised brow. “I heard different, but no matter. Drop that scrawny ass in a chair and buy me a beer.” His foot pushed the chair across from him toward her.

  She laughed scanning the place. No one was around to rescue her. She figured if she was going to play this dangerous game, she would have to fit back in. Her hand swung the chair around and she dropped into it. “What have you been up to, Conrad?”

  He eased back the chair and motioned to the bartender for two beers. His gaze steadied on her and then smiled. “Staying out of trouble, that’s a vocation in itself.” A roar of laughter followed. When the beers showed up, he pushed one to her and then took a long swallow of his. “Thanks lass, appreciated.”

  She snickered and gave her head a slight shake. That had been the Conrad she remembered, a mooch. Emma observed him for a few seconds, wondering what he had heard. No point in asking, it’ll be exaggerated and loaded with falsehoods. She took a sip of her beer, contemplating her next move.

  The bar door creaked open behind her; she caught the look in Conrad’s eyes. He looked to her with a sly grin like something was up. The sounds of footfalls behind her told her who it was.

  Derrick.

  Had I been lucky or did someone reach out to him? All thoughts of why stopped the second his fingertips caressed her shoulders. Emma’s mind froze but her body tingled, as a shiver rippled down her spine.

  “You trying to steal my girl, Conrad?”

  Emma never heard what Conrad said, Derrick’s question melted her into the chair.

  His ‘my girl’ took hold of her heart and at that moment all danger faded away.

  Chapter Five

  Derrick

  The minute he laid eyes on Emma, a smile opened and his heart thundered. It was like she read his mind; she was here, right before him. He wasted no time and walked toward her as she spoke to Conrad. There’d be no playing around today. No teasing, flirting or letting her get away. He wanted to get to the bottom of what the heck was going on. The moment his fingertips rested to her shoulders, the sensations radiating off her shook him to the core. His muscles tightened as sparks flashed through him.

  No woman, Taylor included, made him feel like Emma. He had forgotten those moments. How she pushed such feelings through him. He had ignored them and focused on the sex and fun. Never on her and that had been a mistake. Derrick did wonder if it was too late, had she come back to check the old neighborhood or was it him?

  When he teased Conrad about stealing Emma, the air of tension evaporated. Conrad laughed and winked. “Hey man, she is all yours, like the old days.”

  He grinned and squeezed her shoulders lightly. Bending over and whispering along her braided blonde hair, near her ear. “Come with me, we got some catching up to do.”

  Emma rose to her feet like in a trance. He slipped his hand into hers and looked to Conrad. “We were never here, dude.”

  Derrick didn’t wait for Conrad to respond. With an easy motion he pulled Emma around. Gave her a broad smile and guided her to the door. He wanted to escape the place before the regulars rolled in and jaws started to flap. She didn’t speak at all, as he took her down Kelp Street and headed for the strand. It was early. The strand should be quiet.

  As they walked down the hill, the Pacific Ocean view opened up before them. It was a quiet day. The sea was calm as were the waves. No one was out surfing and other than a few skaters and walkers the strand was empty. He kept quiet. There was no way she was going to escape. He squeezed her hand and she squeezed back.

  He perceived she wanted to be here with him. That soft touch eased the worry that had nagged his thoughts. He shot her a look as their footfalls found the concrete walkway. Derrick pointed to a small brick wall across from the main traffic area. “Let’s hang out over there.”

  Emma stayed silent. Her footsteps fell into his and within a few strides they both jumped on the brick wall. Facing the pattering of waves hitting the sand. Their bare arms snugged to each other. His head swiveled to look at her. His blue eyes drank her in. Beautiful. She hadn’t changed. Emma was everything he remembered. Her pert nose set off those blue eyes, she was the quintessential beach bunny. Her body was better than average, no skinny mini at all, she had a figure that made his mind and manhood erupt in a lust filled chaos.

  Derrick wouldn’t lie. He’d love to bed her and forget the past. Sink every part of himself into her and pretend the past never happened. That was a dream and he knew it. His staring brought a quizzical look from her as she canted her head looking at him.

  “Something wrong?”

  He chuckled and shifted his gaze back to the ocean. The gulls were chattering as they flew by, as if, snickering at him. “All good. I’m happy you’ve come back.” Derrick paused; he was trying to figure out the best way to find out what the hell was going on. N
ormally, he barked it out, but with Emma sitting there, touching him, all reason was drifting away. He kept his vision straight ahead but brushed his forearm along her soft arm. A soft breath escaped him as he spoke. “I never thought I’d see you again, and here you are. What’s the deal, Em?”

  There. He asked. His insides, teetered on the edge of craziness. He set himself up to be hurt. Hurt? He never felt it before. He had always been in control. He held his breath wondering what would come out of those sexy lips.

  Emma gave a small shrug. “I don’t know. The holidays are here ... got lonely.” She tilted her head to gaze at him. He could see from the corner of his eye she had a serious look on her face. “No playing games. I’ve missed you. Yes, I know strange right? You of all people.”

  Derrick winced. She took a dig at him, a deserved one, based on how he treated her. What she didn’t understand is that he treated everyone like that. To be enjoyed and disposed of when done. Love, and all that wasn’t in his DNA. But Emma was different and that intrigued him.

  He looked at her. He kept a flat expression. “I guess I deserved that. “

  “You deserve more. You’re a total jerk to anyone that tries to get close.”

  Derrick froze to those words. No chick had spoken to him like that. For a split second he thought of jumping off the wall and giving her the finger. He could get all the nagging he wanted from Taylor; he didn’t need her giving him crap as well. He eyed her. Every conceivable thought raced through his mind about how to deal with her. Who gave her the right to waltz back into his life and pop off like that?

  “So that’s it. Come down here to read me the riot act? What, can’t find anyone new to screw?”

  Those words came out fast. His filter shut down. Her gaze back at him hardened, but the tears welling couldn’t be disguised. His insides stiffened and he regretted the words that spilled out. What the hell was I doing? She was right he is a jerk. He tried to recover but Emma jumped off the wall and started to walk up the strand. Her pace was fast and he had to hurry or she’d be gone.

  Derrick scurried off the brick wall and gave chase. It took a few long strides and he caught up to her. “I’m sorry.”

  He reached for her arm but she shoved his hand away. “Nothing changes with you does it, Derrick?” Emma wheeled around and both of her palms planted onto his chest and pushed him back. He could see the raging hurt in her eyes. He stood there speechless. “I came down hoping to find you and tell you how much I missed you and ...”

  “What?”

  She shifted foot to foot and sniffled. Her blues were shaded in red and the anger that surrounded them. “That I love you ... a love you don’t deserve. I thought maybe you’d grown up.”

  Derrick sighed. His hands raised up and slid along her shoulders. The warmth of her skin was electric. He was an ass, a total ass. He wanted to get back to where this started. “I’m an idiot.”

  Emma shook her head. “Why don’t you try for an apology. We all know you’re an idiot.” She laughed, but held her ground.

  He grinned and gave her a look of sorry. “I’m sorry and I mean it. I want ...”

  She squinted and tilted her head in curiosity. “What do you want? Be careful what you say.”

  Derrick noticed a teasing tone and that broke loose the anxiety inside him. He sucked in some air, and slowly let it out. Fingers caressed her shoulders and he groaned to the satin like warmth of her flesh. He missed this about her.

  “I want to be with you.”

  ~*~*~*~

  Emma’s ears rang loudly to his words. ‘I want to be with you’. He was kidding of course. There was no way he meant it. Or did he? She bared her soul, told him that she loved him, but she wouldn’t be played for a fool this time. This was it, if he couldn’t commit then she was gone. No coming back like the loser she was when she showed up.

  Maybe it had been the talk with Blaine, or maybe this moment with him but the feelings sparked inside her. She had a passion for life to share with a man. Right or wrong she wanted Derrick to have it.

  She stood there, holding her breath as those words that spilled from his lips wreathed around them. His warm touch wasn’t lost on her. Emma’s body reacted with a burning desire to have those fingers roam all over her. She wanted to lose herself and let all the passion burst open and forget the agony in her heart. She wanted to ignore that he could break her heart or find herself in jail.

  Emma wasn’t going to let him off that easy. “Seriously? You expect me believe that all of a sudden you want me?” She took a step back to break that heated touch of his that was beginning to shred the logic in her mind.

  Derrick stood there looking frustrated. She observed him. It was a make or break time for them. He scanned the strand with a set jaw. Emma had seen that look before whenever he was pushed to a line. How he hated to be boxed in. The problem had been that women like her let him off the hook. His sexy bad boy aura always swept reason away. It’s a foolish game, but she played it and was sure countless other girls did too. When he turned back to her, those devilish blues of his softened.

  “It wasn’t sudden, Em. I was totally tossed when you showed up. I haven’t gotten you out of my head since then. I realize what a loser I was in letting you go in the first place. No one ... no one has been close to me.”

  A snort greeted that response. Her arms crossed her chest as her butt eased to the edge of the brick wall. A quirked brow followed as there was no way she was going to bite on that bull. Emma loved him, ached for him and could screw him right there. The serious part of her, said don’t be as dumb as the bottle blondes he screws daily.

  “Derrick, you’re a train wreck to a woman’s heart. Do you know how much hurt you have smeared over me and others? Do you?” Her tone shifted to a serious one. She wasn’t going to be played by him this time. If he wants her, he can have her, all of her, but he will have to prove himself.

  He grimaced and for the first time she could see discomfort in his eyes. All that macho surfer bravado faded. Emma sensed he wasn’t acting, that he looked hurt. “I’m a jerk, I realize that. I hurt you badly, and I am sure others. I didn’t see it at that moment ...”

  She broke in, her hands moved to the brick edges. Her face tightened. “It has always been about you, Derrick. That is the problem. You. Maybe if you tried to be a man and care about others you might be happy.”

  “Happy? I was until you strolled in.”

  Emma barked a laugh and jumped off the wall. “You believe that? Where is the happiness in sleeping around? Getting involved in stuff that could get you locked up, and alone.”

  Alone. That was them. Alone for different reasons. Was that it all along? They were both lonely? If that was true, how pathetic.

  Derrick flinched to her words. Had I struck home? Was he waking up? He scratched his beard and gave a thin smile. “You might be right. I’d like to make an honest try with us. To go out and see what happens.”

  She fought back the tears of happiness. Believe it or not, those were the sweetest romantic words he has ever said to her. Emma had to steel herself as the tenderest parts of her insides exploded with desire. She waited to respond, to make him wonder and doubt. Emma gave him a smile, nothing wild and crazy, but a smile.

  “I’m willing to try, but I won’t tolerate your crazy ass behavior. Screw it up one-time buddy, adios and this time no coming back.”

  Emma wanted those words back. Her heart screamed at her for saying things she couldn’t do. Derrick nodded and those blues turned all sad. Her resolve melted. Damn did she want to sleep with him. Her body tingled with anticipation of his touch, his muscled frame crushing her underneath him. When he closed the gap between them, she wanted to race into his body and to be enveloped by his strength. Common sense rang loud and clear. Keep your thong on girl.

  She sighed when his arms swept around her, closing her into him as his lips came at hers. Her eyes closed and craved that kiss that would send her swooning. All her strength fought back and before he co
uld land his lips on her mouth her palms pushed into his muscular chest.

  Nope, nope, nope. This wasn’t going to happen. Her body crumbled, nipples tightened and her sex quivered with an ache. It was her common sense that ruled and said that he has to earn it this time. The look of confusion on his face told her everything. He was under her spell and she was going to keep it that way.

  “Let’s go out and see how it goes, Derrick.”

  She tried to keep her tone under control, but the lust racing through her brought a husky tremor. He nodded with a dumbfounded look; she flashed a wicked smile.

  Emma won this round, while her body burned to a crisp.

  Chapter Six

  Emma

  The drive down to Scotty’s on the Strand to meet Derrick gave her time to reflect on what had been happening. Maybe it gave her too much time. She hadn’t said a word to Simone. Simone hadn’t called or text. She was probably pissed because she ducked out on the get together. Emma hoped Blaine covered for her. She needed to figure out how far she was going to go if things got heated. She was sure they would. Derrick had been a dog when it came to sex.

  If he was honest about wanting her in his life, he would expect her to pony up. Her nerves jangled with the idea of it. He was good lover, no one ever rocked her world like Derrick. That had been the problem. Was her heart lost in the wave of lust she had for him? Could she do one-night stand, and get it out of her system? Was love part of this?

  She was proud of herself on the strand. Playing hardball wasn’t intuitive for her. She had been into the warm and cuddly stuff. Derrick? That was undecided. The past says no way, he had been reckless then and he hasn’t shown to be different, yet. Emma had to make up her mind before she saw him. It helped her last time to be determined and avoid getting sucked into his charisma. Can I do it again?

  Scotty’s was close by and once she found a parking spot, she hiked over a couple blocks and then down to the Strand. She sniffed in the salt air; the sun was slipping down to the horizon. Mixing with the LA smog it set off a fire of reds, oranges with a tinge of purple. She loved it down here. Emma turned the corner and waiting out front of Scotty’s was Derrick.