Jagged Pill (Broken Lives Book 3)

by Marita A. Hansen

  “Not to me, so tell me.”

  “They’re hash brownies.”

  I instantly spat out what was in my mouth. “You let me eat marijuana?!”

  “I didn’t let you, you took them.”

  I shot out of my chair. “Why didn’t you tell me they were laced?!”

  He rolled his eyes. “They’re brownies and we’re on a hash farm. Kind of obvious, don’t cha think?”

  “Not to me!” I threw the last bite on the ground as though it had contaminated me. And it had. I hadn’t touched drugs since I was a teenager. “How will it affect me?” I asked, never having had hash. Ecstasy had been my drug of choice, coke my ex’s. Charles had looked down on people who used marijuana, calling them ‘Ganja trash’. He’d been an upper-crusty snob, using his dealing to subsidise his addictions.

  “In ’bout thirty to sixty minutes, you’ll start feeling real good,” Dante said. “You might have a li’l trip, but it shouldn’t be bad, since you didn’t have a lot.”

  “You better hope not, I’m not good with drugs.”

  He perked up. “What kind?”

  “None of your business.”

  He rose to his feet, towering over me, his expression annoyed once more. “Yeah, it is. You’re my woman now, so stop hiding shit from me. I’m straight up with you. Be straight up with me.”

  My gaze moved to River, who was watching us as though we were on Days of Our Lives.

  Dante glanced back at him. “Bugger off, River, you nosey bastard.”

  “Not my fault you’re the only entertainment around here,” he said, pushing out of his chair. “Can’t wait until this job is over. Gonna party like it’s nineteen-nighty-nine.” He walked off, disappearing around the side of the house.

  Dante refocused on me. “So? You gonna lemme into your life?”

  “I have. I’m here with you, aren’t I?”

  “No, I want to know more ’bout you, cos I don’t think you were always like this.”

  “Like what?”

  “So uptight.”

  I scowled at him. “I’m not uptight.”

  “Yeah, you are. You’re not my teacher anymore, you’re my woman, and my woman shouldn’t be acting all antsy around me, like you think we’re gonna get sprung. This ain’t Wera High, this is the real world, where I’m your partner, not a student. So, stop treating me like one.”

  “I’m not doing that, and keep your voice down, people could hear you.”

  “They pro’bly already suspect we’re not bein’ straight up with them, but unlike you, they don’t give a shit. You’re the only one hung up on appearances, worrying whether you’re gonna get your wee student drunk.”

  “You’re bigger than me.”

  “Exactly, so stop treating me like a kid and treat me like a damn equal.”

  “I’m sorry, it’s hard to divide what we used to be with what we are now. And no matter how many times you tell me they’re fine with us, I still feel uncomfortable, especially with you grabbing my damn breasts in front of them.”

  “Marino grabbed China’s.”

  “And got hit for it.”

  He mumbled something under his breath.

  “Speak up, I can’t hear you.”

  “I’m sorry, okay? I’ll try not to grab your tits in front of anyone again, you happy?”

  “Thank you, but that’s not the main issue. Can’t we just go someplace where it’s just you and me?”

  “And how are we gonna live?” He held out the roll of money. “At least here I can get work.”

  “That’s another thing. China said that job you’re doing is dangerous. I really don’t think you should take part in it.”

  “I’ve done a bucketload more dangerous shit than takedowns, so stop mothering me.”

  “I’m not mothering you.”

  “It sure as hell feels like it.”

  “Well, if I am, it’s only because I don’t want you getting hurt.”

  “I’m not gonna get hurt, the job’s shit simple.”

  “If it’s so simple then why don’t those two Croatian suits do it by themselves?”

  “They’re Russian, not Croatian.”

  “But they were talking to Bazza in Croatian.”

  “Nah, that wuz Russian. Bazza’s mum is Russian, while his dad’s Croatian. He’s fluent in both lingos.”

  “You still haven’t answered my question.”

  “They don’t have the right skills for the job.”

  “And Bazza has? He’s half-blind.”

  “He’s intel, not a grunt. Me, Marino, and River will be goin’ in.”

  “Please, Dante, just let Marino and River do it. This whole thing scares me.”

  His face softened. “Honestly, it’s a walk in the park.”

  “You’re sneaking onto dealers’ properties, that’s hardly a walk in a park.”

  “I don’t have a choice, we need the money.”

  “Of course you have a choice. We could do fruit picking instead, earn cash that way. I can dye my hair pink like you said so no one recognises me—”

  He cut my babble off. “I’m not leaving until this job’s done, and in all truth, I don’t really wanna leave at all. I want us to stay here.”

  I screwed up my face, definitely not wanting that.

  He placed a hand on my arm. “C’mon, Clara, stop stressing over this. You knew I wuz a dealer. This is what I do, what I know. And these people are my family. You should be happy that they’ve accepted you. You won’t get that from the rest of my whanau.”

  I shook out my hands, wishing I could accept it like he wanted me to. “It’s scares me so much. I’m scared every time they look at me. I can’t help but imagine what they think of me. I wish I didn’t, but I do.”

  He moved in closer and placed a hand on my cheek. “Once you get to know them better, it’ll ease up. And Bazza thinks I’m the one who’s dirtying you, not the other way round.”

  I looked up at him. “What about River, China, and the Russians?” I said, leaving out Marino, already knowing he didn’t care how old I was.

  “River doesn’t give a stuff, he’s too busy drooling over you, while China is too busy drooling over Marino to care what we’re doin’, while the Russians are evil Satanists, who pro’bly sacrifice virgins in their spare time.”

  A small smile cracked my lips.

  He smiled back. “Yeah, that’s what I wanna see, and don’t worry ’bout those Russians, they’re crims. They’d sooner cut off their dicks than dob anyone into the coppers. Actually, I wouldn’t be surprised if Dumb and Dumber are illegal immigrants.”

  I snorted out a laugh.

  “Sheesh, woman, you needa stop snorting like that. It’s a real boner killer.”

  “Hey!” I hit him.

  He sniggered. “Just joking. I love your crazy pig laugh. You’re sexy as fuck.”

  “Don’t mock me.”

  “I don’t wanna mock you, I wanna—” He pressed his crotch against me, not needing to finish the sentence. A sly smile pulled at his lips. Before I could recognise it for what it was, he spun me around and had me bent over the table, with a hand up my skirt. His fingers crept under my knickers, making me inhale sharply. But I didn’t move or complain, too stunned to do a thing. We were outside, in the open, where anyone could see us.

  He placed his lips next to my ear, whispering, “I’m gonna fuck you real good.” He ran a finger over my pussy, murmuring, “Mmm, you’re nice and wet for me.” He pushed his finger inside me, making me cry out.

  River appeared around the corner right at that moment. He stopped in his tracks, his eyes latching onto me.

  “I told’ja to bugger off, River,” Dante snapped.

  “Can’t I join in?” River asked, walking towards us. “We can roast her like that other chick we banged together.”

  “I never did anyone with you,” Dante said, removing his finger from my pussy. I quickly pulled down my skirt, so embarrassed I could die.

  “C’mon, you g
otta remember,” River quipped. “She was a superhot Italian exchange student with massive melons.”

  “You’re confusing me with Marino.”

  “Nope, it was definitely you, mate. She was practically drooling all over your cock, but you passed out halfway through the blowjob. You were on a blitzer that night.” He grinned. “No worries, I finished her off multiple times, you know what I mean.” He turned his blue gaze on me, giving me a wink.

  “Don’t you fuckin’ look at Clara like that, you scungy bastard, she’s mine.”

  “Why? You scared she’ll go for me instead?”

  “Not a chance.”

  “Then chill.” River pulled out his chair and sat down.

  “Fuck, you’re a cock blocker,” Dante growled.

  “Just go do her in the room.” River grinned. “Or you can continue where you left off. I’m down for live porn.”

  “Like hell!” I yelled.

  River turned his smile on me. “Why not? You two get off and I’m entertained.”

  “I’m not having sex in front of you.”

  “Well, if you’re going to stay with this one,” he said, pointing at Dante, “you’ll soon be taking part in orgies, so you might as well loosen up, sötis.”

  I turned my horrified gaze on Dante.

  “He’s lying,” Dante said. “I’ve never taken part in an orgy.”

  “But you fuck in front of other people,” River replied.

  “So do you.”

  I waved my hands about, just wanting them to stop.

  River laughed. “Looks like your woman doesn’t know what she’s gotten herself in for with you, Dante.”

  “She knows,” Dante said. “She’s just uptight.”

  “I’m not uptight!” I snapped. “I’m just not willing to do public displays of sex.”

  “You were all for it until River showed up.”

  “You surprised me. But I can assure you, I don’t have sex in front of people anymore.” My face dropped, the last word slipping in without thought.

  Dante’s eyes lit up. “You fucked in public?”

  “It wasn’t like that,” I blurted out. “I was young and stupid, plus drugs were involved.”

  “Which drugs?”

  I grimaced. “Ecstasy.”

  “I can get you ecstasy,” River cut in.

  I flicked him an annoyed look, wishing he’d go away. “I don’t want it. It makes me lose control.”

  He gave me a crooked grin. “I’d love you to lose control with me.”

  “Shut it, River,” Dante snapped.

  River shrugged. “Just saying, I reckon she’d be a real goer if she pulled the stick out of her arse and took my cock up there instead.”

  Dante kicked River in the chest, knocking him and the chair backwards. River yelled out, landing on his back. He scrambled to his feet, his expression angry. Dante squared up to River, changing the anger to worry.

  River held his hands out. “Whoa, lugna ner dig, I mean, calm yourself down. You can’t blame me for trying, she’s hot as hell.”

  Dante lowered his face to River. “She’s mine, so back the fuck off!”

  “Sure, man, sure,” River said, the guy looking genuinely scared. A second later, I found out why. Dante turned to me, his furious expression so similar to his father’s that I flinched.

  His brow furrowed. “Are you afraid of me?”

  “No,” I said.

  “Then why the fuck did you flinch for?”

  “You just...” I cleared my throat. “You didn’t scare me, your expression did.”

  “That’s the same damn thing.”

  I held my hands up. “Calm down, Dante.”

  “What the fuck?” he said, looking at me incredulously. “Why the hell are you shaking?”

  I looked at my hands, surprised to find them trembling. I looked back up at him, not sure what to say. It reminded me of the time when he’d been in my bedroom back in Auckland, how he’d gone from being cheeky to terrifying within seconds. He’d scared me then, too. Was still scaring me now. I didn’t know why since I didn’t think he’d hurt me, but the sudden change in his demeanour left me reeling.

  He glared at me. “If I’m so fuckin’ scary, go back to your bloody safe husband.” He stalked off.

  I stood there stunned, not sure what had just happened. The back door banged, jolting me out of the stunned state. I ran after him, finding the door locked.

  I banged on it. “Open up, Dante!”

  River walked up behind me. “You go with kids, expect tantrums.”

  I stiffened at his words.

  “A husband, eh?” he said. “Knew you were a shitload older than Dante. Saw right through his bullshit. You look early to mid-twenties. So, how about you drop the kid and come play with me? I’ll give you a good time.”

  I scowled at him. “Not interested.”

  “Why? Dante will drop you sooner or later. Might as well beat him to it.”

  “Dante won’t drop me,” I growled, not so sure about that. “He said he loves me.”

  “I’d love you too.” River sniggered. “Right up until I take off the condom.”

  My scowl grew. “Dante’s not like that.”

  River burst out laughing and hit his knee, laying it on thick. “He’s exactly like that. I’ve seen him fuck one chick at the beginning of a night, then have his dick in another by the end. And even if you do have a supernova pussy, I’ll give him a week to get bored with you, two at tops before he’s onto the next chick.”

  “I’ve known him for months,” I said, making it sound more like six than two. “And he hasn’t lost interest in me.”

  “When did he first fuck you? Bet it was recently.”

  I clenched my teeth together.

  He grinned. “I’m right, aren’t I?”

  I didn’t reply, the bastard basking in the fact he was. “It still doesn’t mean he’s going to leave me, he’s not shallow.”

  “In a month, Dante will be introducing everyone to a new chick, one who’ll think he loves her too.”

  “That’s not happening,” I said, pushing past him.

  He followed me around the side of the house.

  I glanced back at him. “Go away.”

  “Nope, I want to get inside too.” He grinned at me, suggesting he was referring to getting inside of me rather than the house.

  I shot around the house and up the steps, entering through the front door. I glanced inside the lounge for Dante. It was empty. I took to the staircase and opened the bedroom door, stopping in my tracks as Marino looked over at me. He was sitting on the bed with his back propped up against the wall. China had her arms around his neck and was riding him, the both of them naked. Marino lifted his chin up in the exact same way Dante did in a hello, just this time it looked more like a ‘Wanna join in?’

  I backed out fast and shut the door, my heart pounding like crazy, my face hotter than the sun. The guy was sexy like Dante, but I still did not want to see that, their makeup sex more horror show than porno.

  Wishing I could bleach it from my brain, I headed for the other room, this time knocking on the door. “Dante?” I called out. “Are you in there?”

  “Go away,” he replied.

  “Please can I come in?”

  “No, I’m not interested in arguing with you.”

  “I wasn’t arguing.”

  He didn’t reply.

  I pushed on. “How about we just forget what happened and start over. Remember what Bazza said, that it’s not worth stressing over the small things.” I cracked open the door and poked my head inside the room. Dante was sitting on the floor, with his back against the wall. He was staring down at his lap, looking so dejected my heart melted.

  I went to him, upset to see tears on his cheeks. “Oh, Dante,” I said, dropping down in front of him. “I’m so sorry.” I brushed some of his tears away, feeling guilty for putting them there. “I didn’t mean to react that way outside. I know you wouldn’t hurt me, and I
would never go back to my husband. I love you.”

  He shook his head. “That’s not it.”

  “Not what?” I said, confused.

  “I don’t wanna talk ’bout it.” He pushed up and headed for the door.

  I followed him. “I can’t help if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

  He turned to me, his expression incredulous. “What’s wrong?” he said, swiping at the tears on his face. “Hemi’s dead. Dead. No amount of talking will bring him back, or any of the others. It won’t make Jasper better either.”

  I didn’t reply, feeling even more guilt now. I should’ve realised ... just ... he’d been laughing and smiling earlier, so much so that I’d forgotten about the attack on his club, even though I shouldn’t have, especially after his nightmare.

  His expression twisted, raw pain filling his dark eyes. “All I can think about is Jasper’s dad dropping to his knees and Jasper’s cries for him. It just keeps playing over and over in my head.”

  I moved forward and wrapped my arms around him, knowing there was nothing I could say to make him feel better.

  He didn’t hug me back, just shook with emotion. “I didn’t kick River for you, I just lost it. River mouths off all the time. It’s usually water off a duck’s back, but...” He exhaled. “I wuz barely holding shit together to start with. I almost lost it when you wouldn’t gimme that beer, and again when Bazza was lecturing me, but I held it in, joked things up, but it wuz all fake, a mask to hide behind.” He paused for a moment, his breathing laboured. “How could it not be? People died yesterday. People I cared for. One I even loved. Christ!” He covered his eyes. “Hemi wuz like an uncle to me.”

  I squeezed him tighter. “I’m sorry, sweetie, so sorry.”

  He pulled away from me. “I’m not sweet. I’m fuckin’ awful. Like you said, I’m an arsehole. I bring nuthin’ but pain.”

  “Don’t say that, it’s not true.”

  “It is. And I hate myself cos of it.”

  6

  Dante

  And I did. Utterly. Absolutely. Hated myself. I shook my head, knowing I was turning into my dad. I knew he hated himself too. He’d said it many times when he fell into manic depression. Lying on his bed, muttering hateful words about himself. And I understood every one of those words. I looked down at my hands, which were shaking. I wanted to lie down too, to not get up for days, like he often did. But I couldn’t give into it. I now had a woman to look after. The job in a couple of days wasn’t just for me, it was for her. I couldn’t wallow, couldn’t afford to.