Joe

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Joe Page 20

by Jacqueline Druga


  “I’m sorry, too. I have gave you a temporary vaccine for that brain flu, and will not give you the permanent one unless you let me in there.”

  “That’s blackmail.”

  “That’s life.”

  “Go on in.”

  An eruption of moans carried out when Andrea opened the door. They silenced when she shut it.

  Dean and Roy were sitting at the bar.

  “Well," She gasped out. “I guess you aren’t preparing.”

  Roy turned and looked at her. “Dean says if we wait long enough people will leave.”

  “Oh, really.” She folded her arms and walked to Dean. “You start all this and now you want to worm your way out.”

  “Excuse me?” Dean laughed. “I didn’t start anything.”

  “Sweet Jesus Dean, the deception. The only positive part of this all is that you, I mean the clone, Roy was such a gem to work with.”

  “Thank you.” Roy smiled. “I find you a pleasure as well, Andrea.”

  “See.” Andrea pointed. “And he’s a Christian.”

  “I love God.”

  “Sweet Jesus. We love Roy.”

  Dean rolled his eyes. “I’m sure he works really well.”

  “Fast," Andrea added.

  “I prefer to call it efficiently,” “Roy said.

  “Well, sweetheart, you are efficient and fast.”

  Dean held up his hand. ‘Ok. Ok. Fast and efficient.”

  “And he cleaned the lab.”

  “Labs,” Roy added.

  Dean snapped a glare. “You can’t clean my lab.”

  “Would you like me to mess them up again?”

  “No!” Andrea barked. “Don’t you dare? He wanted a vacation and made you do all his work. He can work in a clean lab.”

  “Hold it.” Dean said. “I didn’t take a vacation. I didn’t do this. Frank did.”

  “Frank did what?” Andrea asked. “He found Roy, moved you out of town and made Roy pretended he was you.”

  “No.” Dean shook his head. “He found Roy, told me to get out of town and forced Roy to be me.”

  “And it was all Frank’s idea?” Andrea asked.

  “Yes.” Dean nodded.

  “And I’m supposed to believe you.”

  “No. But you know he doesn’t lie” Dean pointed at Roy.

  Andrea faced Roy. “What is the truth?”

  Roy shifted his eyes back and forth. “I hate to be a tattle tale. But Frank was not honest. See, I was here in regards to Joe’s death. I had to track Dean so I could slip in and out. Frank found me out and removed Dean from the community. Next thing I know, Frank is bringing me to town calling me Dean. I had no idea he knew I was not Dean.”

  “So Frank lied to the community?” Andrea asked.

  Dean nodded. “Get mad at Frank.”

  “I will do no such thing. He is my son, and he is the leader. He lied so the community wouldn’t get mad at their leader. We can’t have a community divided in war time.”

  “Wait a second. So you’ll get mad at me and not to him.”

  ‘Oh, I’m not mad at you anymore. I just won’t get mad at Frank. Shame on you for trying to make me.” She moved to the door. “I suggest you boys prepare. You have about fifty people outside waiting.”

  Dean cringed. “Can’t you do anything about it?”

  “As a matter of fact, I can.” Andrea opened the door.

  “Thank you,” Dean said.

  Andrea stepped out and her shouting voice was heard “You can let them in now.”

  The door flew opened and flocks of people raced in.

  Dean faced Roy. “I’m killing her.”

  ****

  The hiccup echoed throughout the hollow church, but Fr. O’Brien was nowhere to be seen.

  Frank, Hal and Robbie sat in the front pew waiting.

  Another hiccup and the creak of a door brought Fr. O’Brien out of the confessional.

  “Fuckin’ figures,” Frank whispered.

  “Sgt. Ryder,” The good priest walked toward the pew. “You’ve not been in rehearsal lately.”

  “Father, you have me playing the same song over and over,” Elliott defended.

  “And you think that’s because you play it well?” He shook his head. “Until you learn Hail Holy Queen to perfection, you’ll play it. Now what can I do for you gentlemen?”

  Hal replied. “Last night you found a stranger.”

  Fr. O’Brien nodded. ‘Yep. I did. Was one of the Jordan people?”

  “So you know him from Jordan?” Hal asked.

  “No.” He shook his head.

  “Then how do you know he was a Jordan person?”

  “One, I didn’t know him,” Fr. O’Brien said. “Two, all them Jordan people are strange. This guy was no different. I was walking down the street singing Hail Holy Queen correctly,” He shifted his eyes to Elliott. “When I saw him. Seemed to appear out of nowhere. Probably was waiting around the corner to flash me.”

  “Flash you?” Hal examined.

  “Yeah. There he was pants around his ankles. Had he not fallen over ill I would have bopped him.”

  Frank said. “Maybe he thought that’s what you wanted to see.”

  Fr. O’Brien looked sharply at Frank. "Is that an altar boy reference you big dumb jackass?”

  Robbie snickered.

  Hal spoke up, “Forgive my brother Father, that’s not what he means. Sometimes he doesn’t know how to phrase questions.”

  Disgruntled he nodded. “Fine. But I won’t forgive him. I don’t have to forgive him.”

  “Man,” Frank gave a twitch of his head. “You’re tough.”

  Hal cleared his throat. “That’s fine if you don’t forgive him. I just need to know if the man said anything to you.”

  “Nope. Well. Said ‘Where am I’ and then passed out. That’s it. Why is this guy so important, doesn’t he know who he is?”

  “He is out.”

  “Ok,” Fr. O’Brien shrugged. “Wait until he wakes up.”

  Frank leaned around Robbie. “Hal, I’m the expert, just take me to him. I’ll know.”

  Hal tossed up his hands. “Fine. Let’s go.”

  “Oh, yeah,” Frank graveled. “Things are gonna be interesting with Elvis in the building.”

  “You think it is?” Hal asked.

  “Hal, I know. Trust me.”

  “This is great,” Robbie said as they stood around the bed.

  “Wait. Wait.” Elliott held up his hand. “You guys think this is Elvis.” He pointed. The brothers nodded. Elliott laughed. “I’m sorry. I’ve heard a lot. But . . . but this man is in his forties. Even if Elvis were alive when the world ended he wouldn’t be now. He’d be too, too old.”

  Hal decided to explain. “What I didn’t tell you Elliott was last night the Bobbsey Twins, Dean and Roy, The Clone and Drone they . . .”

  “Ha!” Frank squealed out a laugh. “That was good.”

  “Thanks.” Hal nodded in appreciation and faced Elliott. He opened his mouth to speak again.

  “Clone and Drone. I love it.”

  “Frank.”

  “What?”

  “Can I tell the story?”

  “Sorry.”

  Hal continued. “Last night they were fighting over the time machine, which I told you was fixed. They fought, struggled, it dropped and three beams shot out. These were retractor beams.”

  “Meaning.” Elliott asked.

  “Meaning they like the Jason system were devised to rescue someone from a time zone. Bring them back. We know where two of the beams went, to the future, but the third. We don’t.” Hal pointed to the man. “We’re thinking.”

  “Did the other beams bring anything back?” Elliott asked.

  “Not to our knowledge.”

  “Then surely we cannot assume the third brought back Elvis.”

  “Yes, we can,” Frank said. “There he is.”

  “This isn’t Elvis,” Elliot spoke. “Think about it. If they sto
le Elvis, surely I wouldn’t recall hearing about his death. It would be that he disappeared.”

  “He has a point, Frank.” Hal looked at Frank. “History tells of his death. Not disappearance.”

  Robbie interjected very nonchalantly. “That was my thought, then Dad said it was a CIA cover up. Elvis disappeared from his bathroom and to stop everyone thinking they saw him the said he died.”

  “Fuck,” Frank wisped out. “That would explain his pants down.”

  “Wait. Wait.” Hal held up his hand “Dad said?”

  “Yeah he …” Robbie stopped. “A long time ago. Long, long time ago.”

  “You had me scared. It sounded like you were talking in present tense.”

  “He is.” Frank said. “I read his mind. He spoke to Dad.”

  “Frank!” Robbie snapped. “Quit reading my mind.”

  “How, little brother did you speak to our father?” Hal questioned.

  Robbie smiled.

  “Fuck.” Frank said.

  “What?” Hal asked.

  “I knew it,”

  “What?”

  “Bob.” Frank nodded.

  “Bob?” Hal asked.

  “Bob.” Frank repeated.

  “Bob?” Elliott looked at Robbie.

  “Bob.” Robbie stated.

  Frank touched Robbie’s head. “Bob.”

  Hal hesitated slightly. “You spoke to Bob the dummy about this.”

  “Told you he was possessed by Dad,” Frank said.

  “Frank shut up.”

  “Bite me.”

  Robbie held up his hand. “I needed answers. So I snuck into Frank’s office, pulled out Bob and sure enough. Possessed by Dad.”

  Elliott rubbed his chin. “If Joe is in that doll, would it be possession? I mean, I associate evil with possession.”

  Frank nodded. “True.”

  “Stop. Stop!” Hal formed a ‘T’ with his hand. “This man looks like Elvis and we are confirming it because Bob the dummy who is possessed by our father told you?”

  “Yeah.” Robbie answered.

  “Good God.”

  “No, Dad.” Frank said.

  “Frank! No.” Hal shook his head. “It’s insane. Stop this. Dad does not possess that doll.”

  “You’re right.”

  “Thank you.”

  “It would mean evil if Dad possessed that doll. We got to think of a better term.”

  “Frank . . .”

  “Guided?” Robbie suggested.

  Elliott snapped his finger. “How about spiritually influenced.”

  “That’s good. I like it.”

  Hal glared at Elliott. “Please do not encourage this.”

  “Fine. I’ll prove it.” Frank said sternly.

  “Prove what?” asked Hal.

  “That the CIA covered up Elvis’ disappearance and most importantly that Bob is spiritually influenced by Dad.”

  “And how, big brother will we do that.”

  “Easy. The same way he came here.” Frank grinned. “Let’s have a séance.”

  ****

  Ellen truly felt that since Frank hated doing reports, once he took over as president, reports would be done. But since no longer had to do reports as president, he didn’t mind having them.

  She was reviewing her weekly report for Containment.

  “You got mail.”

  Ellen blinked in surprise, turned around at her desk and look at her computer. There was an email from Frank. “At least he’s communicating with me,” she mumbled and clicked it to open.

  As she read she chuckled and immediately hit the print button.

  A simple knock on the doorframe brought her attention from the printer.

  “Dean.” She smiled.

  “You look like you’re having a good time,” he said, leaning against the archway.

  “And you look tired.”

  “I am.” He shrugged, stepping in. “The question and answer thing really went on.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “I’m not. I’m back.”

  “I’m glad. Sit down.” She pointed to a chair.

  “You’re not busy, are you?”

  “No. No. I finished my report when I got an email from Frank. Here.” She handed him the paper. “Read it.”

  Dean looked and then he laughed. “You are cordial, spelled like the cherry, invited to attend a say ons, spelled phonetically, tonight at my house. We are gonna talk to my dad via Bob.” Dean paused. “Bob?”

  “The ventriloquist dummy of Frank’s. He thinks Joe possesses him.”

  “This is so great.”

  “Really?” Ellen tilted her head. “I would think you would think it’s dumb.”

  “No, it’s gonna be great hearing Joe talk to Frank.”

  “Dean?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Joe’s not gonna talk to Frank.”

  “Yeah, he is.”

  “Joe’s dead.”

  “According to that. Joe’s in the dummy.”

  “Yeah but ...”

  “You never know. El. You never know.”

  “Wow.” She stared at the paper. “If you believe, there might be something to this.”

  “I wanna go.”

  “Didn’t you get an invitation?”

  “Not yet. The only thing I got from Frank was a Frank-style chain letter. Saying if I didn’t forward it to ten people my nose hairs will grow.”

  Ellen laughed. “That’s funny.”

  “He’s twisted El.”

  “So are you gonna come to the séance.”

  “Wouldn’t miss it. I was uh, wondering maybe after, you and I could go out and get a drink.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. I missed you. I need to spend some alone time with my friend.”

  Squeak. Stomp. “Man.” Frank said from the doorway. “Back in town one day and already he’s after my wife.”

  “Absolutely Frank Someone’s gotta spend time with her.”

  “That’s true.”

  Ellen gasped. “And I take it you aren’t here to spend time with me.”

  “Uh, El, it's the middle of the work day.”

  “Then why are you here?”

  “I have a problem. Maybe you two can help.”

  Dean nodded. “Go on.”

  Frank pulled out a tablet. “Ok, I’m trying to make a list of the best Elvis songs.”

  “This is your problem?” Dean asked.

  “Yeah.”

  “What do you have Frank?”

  “Jailhouse Rock.”

  Ellen waited. “And?”

  “And that’s it.”

  “That’s not a list, Frank.”

  “That’s why I’m here,” Frank said. “I want to have the list ready. It’s important and I only have until tomorrow.”

  Dean semi chuckled. “Frank. What the hell can be so important about making a list of Elvis songs?”

  “Because it is.”

  “Then just got to the Social Hall, pull out a karaoke book and look under the name Elvis.”

  “Dean.” Frank snapped his finger. “Great idea.” He walked in the office, kissed Ellen then walked out. “Thanks.”

  “Frank!” Dean called.

  Squeak of the boots and Frank peeked in. “What?”

  “What do you need the list of songs for anyhow?” Dean asked.

  “Uh, hello, Dean, why do you think?”

  Dean tossed out his hands. “I don’t know, Frank, I’m clueless.”

  Frank huffed then rattled fast. “Because when you and Roy fucked around with the time machine and the beams shot out, one of them went to the past and brought back Elvis.” On that he left.

  In the silence of the office Ellen and Dean went from staring at the door to each other.

  “El? Did he just say I brought back Elvis?”

  “Yeah, but that has to be a mistake.”

  Paused.

  Dean jumped up. “Let’s find out.”

  Both of them f
lew from the office.

  ****

  “No.”

  “Dad, come on.”

  “Robert, no.” Joe said with a wave out of his hand. “Absolutely, not.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I said so.”

  Robbie huffed. He felt like he was thirteen again, only this time standing in a trailer home during the apocalypse. “I can’t believe you’re still using that line.”

  “I’m a parent, I’m allowed.”

  “It’ll be fun.”

  “No.”

  “Give me one good reason.”

  “I already did.”

  “Then give me another reason.”

  “Fine,” Joe said. “You want me to stand outside of Frank’s house.”

  “Now it was moved to your house.”

  “Swell. Stand outside and talk into a headset so when Frank has his séance he thinks I’m possessing the dummy.”

  “Yeah.”

  “He’ll know.”

  “No, he won’t. Danny Hoi will set up a small hidden speaker.”

  “Danny knows about this.”

  “Frank sent out a mass email.”

  Joe grumbled. “Robert, Hal will know.”

  “Hal will know what? Dad, he thinks you’re dead. He won’t even suspect.”

  “You did.”

  “I knew better. I had the mystery of your fingerprints. Besides, Hal probably won’t be there, you know he hates being around Frank when Frank does dumb things.”

  “Frank may talk to a dummy, but I’m telling you, he is not that stupid.”

  From outside the trailer, Frank’s voice carried. “Robbie you in there?”

  “Goddamn it.” Joe stepped back. “I’ll be in the next room.”

  Robbie nodded and Joe disappeared just as the front door opened.

  “You ok?” Frank asked.

  “Oh, yeah. Sure. Why?”

  “Why are you in here?”

  “It reminds me of home when we were younger.”

  Behind the wall, listening Joe opened his mouth in a silent ‘What?’

  “Yeah, I can see it.” Frank nodded and looked around. “Even smells like Dad.”

  Robbie sniffed. “Yeah. Maybe it’s just our imagination.”

  “Maybe.”

  “So why are you here?”

  “Jason said he saw you coming in here.”

  “Jason ratted me out?”

  “Are you in trouble?”

  “No, no. When I need you know, some time I come here. Feel the old world and get things straight.”

  Frank placed a hand on Robbie shoulder. “Do you need to talk?”

 

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