by M. Clarke
I continued to watch the beauty beside me, and she consumed me with her presence. As I watched her chest rise and fall with the rhythm of my own, I lightly brushed her arm to feel her warmth; to know she was really here, and I uttered the words I wanted her to hear and feel. “I love you, Jenna.”
I don’t know how long I’d watched her, but the peace I felt from doing so made my eyelids heavy, making me sleepy. “See you in my dreams, babe,” I mumbled as I fell into darkness.
Matthew practically dragged me to his car as I tried to escape his hold. He kept insisting he wasn’t going to let me go home with someone who was drunk or someone he didn’t know. He said he would never forgive himself if anything ever happened to me. Naturally, I thought of my former roommate and his dead fiancée.
“Thanks a lot for caring,” I sneered, trying to slam the door of my apartment as I walked inside, but he blocked it before it could close. Stomping to my bedroom like a child, I looked over my shoulder. “Why are you still here? I’m home! Thanks to you. You can leave now.” My tone was sarcastic and rude. I should have been thankful that he cared enough to bring me home, but I couldn’t help myself. Flashes of Amber crossed my mind. Maybe I should have been this aggressive with her…no, not maybe, I should have been. Then guilt took over my mind.
Matthew plopped on the sofa with his legs crossed, stretching both of his arms along the top. You could see the results of his workouts. He had nicely chiseled arms, and I wanted to touch them.
“I’m not leaving until you apologize for acting like a spoiled brat.”
“Then you might as well sleep here forever. I’m not apologizing.” Leaning against the wall, I crossed my arms.
Matthew wasn’t paying attention to me anymore. His thoughts were miles away. Looking at the beautiful roses that Max had recently given Jenna, for the hundredth time, he pointed at them. His sudden realization took me completely by surprise. “You don’t have a boyfriend, do you?”
“I do,” I said softy, but I knew at that instant my tone deceived me.
Matthew stood up. “I can’t believe you did that.”
The expression on his face not only made me feel guilty, but also ashamed.
“Why?” he continued to ask with his fist tight. He clenched his jaw so that I could see a vein protruding from the side of his neck.
I had no reason for my response, other than it was built up from emotions that I couldn’t control. I walked directly in front of him. “I hate you,” I sneered in his face, standing on my tippy toes. I wanted to be face to face with him, so he could hear the intensity of my words.
He leaned closer with a fiery, yet amused expression in his eyes. Not what I had in mind. My actions backfired, causing me to step back from his lips, which were now too dangerously close. “Yeah, I hate you more,” he replied nonchalantly, with a cool tone as if what I had just said didn’t faze him at all.
“Good. At least we have that in common,” I declared.
“Oh, we have more things in common than you realize.” His demeanor was playful. Holding a wicked grin, he leaned in closer.
Tantalizing heat shot through every nerve in my body and just that stance alone felt like he just caressed his hands all over me. Damn! Then his eyes fell down to my lips, causing me to become weak all over. I didn’t like it at all. I didn’t like how he was making me want to dive into his arms. I fired back at him, wanting him to leave. If I were rude, perhaps he would go.
“You’re egotistical, rude, crazy, and so not perfect.” I poked his chest. Oh God! Wrong move on my part. Touching him made me want him even more.
“You’re not perfect either.” His voice was loud this time.
The muscles on his arms were tense as he stepped toward me again, causing me to back against the wall. Thump…shit!
“But you’re perfect for me,” he continued. His tone was softer this time.
What did he just say to me? Frazzled, I started to stutter. “I…I…but…you’re crazy,” I said softly, matching his tenor.
I twitched when his hands banged the wall on either side of my face as his muscles flexed. Though I was nervous by his proximity, I was utterly melting into him. No! I needed self-control.
“You’re crazier,” he retorted. His eyes shifted down to my lips again.
Please don’t stare too long. I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle it, but his words triggered my anger again. When I didn’t have any sophisticated words to say, I spit out the first thing that came to my mind. “You’re an ass,” I seethed.
“I can be worse.” His eyes sparked with amusement. It was not what I was hoping for.
“I want you to leave,” I demanded.
“But I don’t want to.”
“I didn’t give you a choice.”
“Make me.” His brows lifted in challenge.
“You’re impossible.”
“You’re incredible.”
“Shut up. Don’t say those words to me. Get out,” I shouted this time.
“I don’t want to be out. I want to be inside you.” His voice was just as loud as mine.
Holy shit! The gap between my legs just fired up. “I won’t ever give you the pleasure.” I calmed down, giving him a look of conviction.
“Then I’ll dream about it.”
What? Confusion filled my mind.
“I dream about it all the time.” He brushed the words against the tip of my ear, sending erotic, sensuous heat all over me. His hands were still on the wall gripped tightly into fists, as if he was fighting what he wanted to do. “You’re lips on mine, your naked body under mine, me inside you, giving you pleasure and feeling you all night long. Listening to you scream my name until you come.”
In my mind, my panties just dropped. I was only rude to him because I didn’t want to feel the things he was making me feel. He had issues, and I didn’t know if I could be there for him, or if he would be too much for me to handle. Plus, the fact that he was Max’s brother made everything worse, but after what he just said, I couldn’t control myself anymore. It was the hottest thing anyone had ever said to me.
My rational thought had disappeared, especially since his hot breath was purposely settling lightly on my neck. Oh, he was good and he knew exactly what he was doing to me. My chest rose and fell from gasping, as my breasts gravitated toward his chest. “What are you waiting for? Make your dreams come true.”
“I want to kiss you so badly right now.” His eyes were begging for my permission as he licked and bit his lower lip, making me want to do the same thing to him.
I drilled my eyes into his with a look of wanting. “Then kiss me,” I whispered.
He didn’t wait any longer. Cupping my face, he slithered his tongue inside my mouth, and slammed me into the wall. His kiss was hot and steamy and that sensation went straight between my legs. The arms I had been holding against the wall for support were now around the nape of his neck. Gliding my hands along the curve of his muscles I had wanted to touch since the day I first saw him was beyond satisfying.
“Becca,” he managed to say between his kisses as his hand explored over my breast, around my waist, down to my ass, cupping it there as his hardness pressed into me. “I want you so much,” he growled.
The sound he was making pulled me over the edge and I moaned with him. Thank God, Jenna was at Max’s place. Wanting more of him, I started to pull his shirt up so he would get the message, but instead, he loosened his grip on me. His kisses trailed to my cheek, my jaw line…kissing and nipping…down to my neck. Then, suddenly, he backed away breathlessly, looking at me as if he decided he had made a mistake.
“Sorry…I…I shouldn’t have done that.” He raked his fingers through his hair, looking confused. Then he ran out the door.
What just happened? He just left.
He
Just
Freakin’
Left!!!
Unbelievable. What the hell! Leaning my back against the wall for support, I slid down to the floor and placed
both of my hands over my face. I will not cry! I will not cry! I will not cry! Feeling humiliated, the stern talk I gave myself didn’t work, as I felt the uncontrollable sting of the pain in my heart twisting deeper. Then the tears came. Why do I let assholes into my heart? There was only one answer. I was an asshole magnet. I always was.
The door crashed open. My heart leapt out of my chest. In fear for my life, thinking it was a burglar, I was ready to bolt to my room, but I was still stuck to the floor.
“Why is the door still unlocked?” Matthew hollered as he walked in. His eyes froze on me for a second, but then he swiftly came toward me looking concerned. “Are you okay?”
He tried to lift me up, but I slapped his hands away. “Why did you come back?” I ranted, burning my gaze into him with venom. Somehow, we were face-to-face and I was standing. How the hell was I standing and how does he do that without me even knowing? Damn his beautiful eyes that I always get lost in.
“Were you crying?” his eyes and his attitude became soft. He lifted his hand to wipe my tears.
“Don’t touch me.” I smacked his hand away and shoved him, but he didn’t budge. Since he didn’t even attempt to give me space, I pushed him harder and when that didn’t work, I started to get a little more aggressive and drummed on his chest.
Matthew gripped both of my arms and pinned them high above my head on the wall. “Had enough?” he asked in a calm tone.
“No,” I spat. “I don’t want you here. Leave.” I turned and twisted to release myself from his grasp, but it didn’t work.
“No.” His expression was stern.
“Then I’ll scream,” I threatened, hoping he would let go.
“I can make you scream all night.” His tone came off too playful.
How is it possible that just his words make me almost orgasm? “Go away.”
“Not until I know you’re okay.”
“I’ll be fine when you leave. Why did you come back?”
“Because I didn’t want you to think I don’t like you.” His hand was strong enough to hold both of my wrists in place while the other hand slid down my back, making me forget what he had just said.
“What?” I snorted. That was the strangest thing he’d said when he was the one that left. “Well, you shouldn’t have bothered, ’cause I don’t like you.”
“That’s okay. I have plenty of like for the both of us.”
“You’re insane.” I blinked.
“You’re insanier.”
“That’s not a word.”
“I don’t care.” he shrugged. “But you on the other hand should care, because you lied to me about having a boyfriend and you’re a thief.” His hand slowly slid down to my waist, then to my back again.
“How am I a thief?”
“Cause you stole a tiny piece of my heart when I didn’t want to give it to you.”
“Then that’s your fault. You were a willing victim. I’m not giving you any piece of mine.”
“I’m not asking for it.” His hand wrung tightly on the back of my dress, causing me to gasp.
“Good.”
“Good,” he repeated, releasing my hand. “Now I’m going to kiss you; but if you don’t want—”
Before he could finish, I broke free from his hand and grabbed a fistful of his hair. “Shut up. You talk too much.” Then I crushed my lips on his in hunger, madness, and hurt. I could already see how this was going to end, but I didn’t care. I wanted him, even if it was just for one night. He gave me that tiny piece of his heart and that was enough. Though he didn’t know it, I already had given him mine. Now who was the unwilling victim here?
Matthew suddenly pulled back, pulled his shirt over his head and not an ounce of shyness marked his face. I had already seen it once before, but good Lord have mercy. Just the view of his chest drove me crazy. Still drilling his eyes on me, he pulled my dress and my bra down at the same time, leaving me exposed. Now I knew what he had been doing with his hands while I was so busy spitting my words at him. He was already unhooking my bra.
Matthew took in the view with a satisfying, lustful grin. I stood there as boldly as he did, though I was uncomfortable as never before. I didn’t have to stand there too long; he molded his lips to mine while one of his hands kneaded my breast. His warm touch drove me wild and I was flaming between my legs. Were we really doing this?
Kissing, nipping my face then my neck, he somehow brought us to my room, and kicked the door closed behind us. Still keeping his gaze on me, he lowered me down gently to my bed, as he kicked off his shoes, then unbuttoned and pulled off his pants. He was masculine and beautiful.
He reached down and pulled out a condom from his jeans pocket, and placed it on. “You never know.” He twitched his brow.
“Don’t worry, I’m on the pill,” I said.
“Just in case,” he muttered. With his tongue, he began working his magic; stroking, licking, and tasting my clit. I couldn’t take it anymore, but just before I was about to pull him up by a fistful of his hair, he ran his tongue from my belly button to my nipple. Showing me no mercy, he sucked hard.
Arching my back in raw pleasure, I dug my fingers into the sheets and lost control. It got worse when he began to rub his erection on the perfect spot. My head and vision were spinning, so I closed my eyes and took in his pleasure. When his kisses trailed upward to my neck, then to my cheek, he pressed his warm body onto mine and moved as if he was inside me as he rocked back and forth.
He was teasing the hell out of me and he was enjoying it. “Are you sure you want this?” he asked softly, nibbling my ear while one of his hands aroused my hardened nipple. “I can stop if you want me, too.”
I didn’t want him to stop. I was blistering underneath my G-string. Why hadn’t he taken it off? I took his mouth onto mine and swirled my tongue all over inside. “Don’t stop,” I panted, between kissing. “Please, don’t stop.”
Before I knew what was going on, he pulled down my G-string with his teeth and then started to penetrate me.
“You’re so wet, Becky,” He growled, as he pushed in further.
When he finally entered, I gasped in pleasure. Oh God! He felt so good. He cupped my face, looking deeply into my eyes. His soft eyes turned darker, then greedier as he pumped faster and harder…reaching deeper. Loud moans escaped my mouth. I didn’t realize I was screaming until I covered my own mouth.
He was right. He could make me scream and that made me squirm even more underneath him. As he continued to pump and grind into me faster, he twisted my nipple, causing pleasure and pain. I couldn’t take it anymore. He was filling me up to the point I thought my insides were going to burst out of my body. I wanted him to stop; I couldn’t take more exploding as I climaxed repeatedly.
Then he pulled me onto my side and he kept going. As I ran out of breath and energy, he continued from all different positions. Sometimes, he slowed down and teased me until I couldn’t take it anymore. When he finally reached his limit, I was exhausted beyond words.
Unexpectedly, he pulled me into him and tenderly embraced me. I stiffened at first, but relaxed when he kissed my forehead. He didn’t say anything. In fact, I had expected him to get up as if nothing happened and walk out the door, but he didn’t.
“You were amazing,” he finally whispered. “I’m glad I came back. I want to give you more, but I….” He didn’t finish his words.
I didn’t know what to think of what he said. Too exhausted to care, all I wanted to do was sleep. Trying to break away from Matthew’s hold was not easy. Every time I shifted to pull away from him, he held me tighter. Drained from the passion we shared, I allowed my eyelids to close. I knew by the end of the night I would be alone in my bed, though a part of me hoped he would stay; that was just wishful thinking.
I woke up to the delicious aroma of eggs and ham, making my stomach churn with hunger. Lying naked in bed had me startled, making made me ponder about last night. Matthew!!! Sitting up, I buried my face into the palm of my hands. What h
ad we done? Getting out of my bed, I dressed and headed toward the kitchen, wondering if I would find Matthew or Jenna, but I remembered Jenna was at Max’s place.
“Good morning,” Matthew said cheerfully with a spatula in his hand. He turned to look just as I entered the kitchen. His blissful smile faded to a nervous one, but that didn’t stop him from giving me a kiss on the forehead. “I hope you don’t mind. I thought I would make us breakfast.”
“Umm…sure,” I said, taking out the plates. After I gave them to him, I reached for the refrigerator handle when he stopped me.
“I got your coffee from Starbucks. It’s on the dining table.”
“Uh…thanks,” I mumbled, looking dumbfounded.
“Go have a seat, I’ll be right there.”
Nodding, I left the kitchen. As we sat there eating, I thought about talking to him about last night, but he spoke first after he cleared his throat.
“Becca, do you remember what happened last night?”
Was he serious? “Yes,” I nodded, looking at the eggs I just stabbed with my fork, and feeling my cheeks burn.
Matthew put his fork down and lightly sighed. “I enjoy being with you, Becca, more than you could possibly know. It’s just that…I don’t know where this is going. All I know is that when I’m with you, I feel free, like I can be myself. It has been a long time since I felt that way. When I’m with you, everything is right. And when we kissed, that was incredible, but….”
Hearing Matthew’s words made me giddy like a schoolgirl, but then I heard the word “but.”
“I can’t give you what you want right now. Maybe—”
“Matthew, it’s okay.” I placed my hand on his thigh, accidently so close to his crotch that he angled his brows playfully, which reminded me of how he made me feel last night. I swear I felt my clit twitch just from the memory. Touching him produced naughty thoughts, so I took my hand away. “Look, I’m a big girl. I’m not one of those girls who believes that once we have sex, we’re supposed to get married or even hook up. I’ve had one-night stands before.”