by M. Clarke
Matthew’s brows arched in curiosity. “How many?”
“That is none of your business. And don’t tell me this was your first.”
That seemed to end that topic of discussion. “Okay. Sorry. It’s just that we’re friends and I don’t want it to be weird between us. I want to, but I’m not ready to—”
I cut him off. I didn’t want to hear excuses or make him feel like he was obligated to explain what had happened between us. After all, we were two consenting adults. I don’t know what made me ask the next question, but a part of me wanted to know how his girlfriend had passed away. “What happened to her?” I thought he was going to brush me off, but instead, his eyes were somewhere else in time and he started talking.
“Being the youngest child and my parents working all the time, I was somewhat spoiled. I was irresponsible and did what I wanted to do. I knew how to work my parents to get what I wanted by using the guilt trip on them. I met Tessa during my senior year in college. She changed me. She made me become a better person. I think Max was relieved and he thanked her for that,” Matthew lightly chuckled and continued.
“Tessa and I had had been together for more than a year. I loved her so much that I knew I wanted to marry her someday. We were too young to get married, but she practically gave me an ultimatum. In fear of losing her, I proposed. Then we started fighting about the date of our wedding. I wanted to wait until after I graduated from Business school, but she didn’t,” Matthew paused, as if gathering his thoughts. With a deep intake of breath, he continued.
“It was raining hard that day. I was at her apartment and we had a fight. She ran out the door and I let her go. Later that day, I got a phone call from her roommate, letting me know Tessa was in the hospital. She had been in a car accident, just like Jenna.” There was a long pause, but I remained silent knowing Matthew had more to say. His face was full of torment. “She left this world with misunderstandings that needed to be resolved. I will never have the chance to fix that. Our argument was the last memory I have of her.”
Poor Matthew! I gasped and covered my mouth with my hand. My heart thumped faster with every word that poured from his lips. He had relived that moment with Jenna. “I’m sorry, Matthew,” I mumbled through my hand. I knew where this was going.
“She was already dead when I got to the hospital. Her parents and I didn’t want to let her go. We watched. We waited. We hoped that God would answer our prayers and she would come out of it. I rarely prayed before, but I prayed that day. I prayed for a miracle, but God denied me. He shattered my world. I was so angry and hurt that I cursed him that day. I lost myself in that hospital. I lost my love, my heart, and whatever was left of my soul, because someone with that much anger and hate was going to hell.”
Tears streamed down my face as I listened. I felt his anger, his passion, and loss, because I knew how he felt. I had been through it with my roommate and almost with Jenna. I knew what that kind of pain could do to a person. It eats you alive and spits you back out with the feeling of emptiness and all you want to do is die too. It was a reminder that no matter how rich or poor you were; money couldn’t buy happiness or a shield from the cruelties of life. It doesn't discriminate. Pain knows no boundaries. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered, in fear if I had said it any louder, I would sob uncontrollably in front of him.
“Becca.” Matthew pulled me into him, wiping the tears off my face with the brush of this thumb. “My sweet, Becca. I didn’t mean to make you cry. Don’t cry, sweetheart.” Surprisingly, Matthew kissed the lingering tears away. “I knew you weren’t as mean as the spitfire you were last night. You were just trying to get into my pants.”
I knew he was trying to lighten the mood and I would have given him a good comeback, but I couldn’t. Holding me tightly, swaying back and forth, he muttered, “What are we going to do from here?”
I didn’t answer, not knowing if that was a rhetorical question or if he really was asking for my answer, so I said nothing. Did he even know what he wanted?
Since I didn’t answer, he held me tighter—all of me. “Thanks for being my friend. You make me happy. You make me forget. You make me forget her.”
It was then that I pushed aside my regret and loss. Matthew was still suffering and for some reason, he needed me. I would be his comfort, his rock, even if that’s all I could do, because I couldn’t deny him, even knowing I would be the one left with a broken heart. I was okay with it. Hell, I was even used to it.
The rumors had spread like an untamed wildfire. Max’s dad called and told us not to come to work. It was all over the media—Internet, television news, radio stations, and even the pictures of Max protecting me at the nightclub were in the newspaper. The headline read “Max Moves on to Next Victim.” My poor Max!
What made this situation even worse was the phone call from my parents. I tried to tame it down as best as I could, but with the media being cruel to Max, it was impossible to hide anything. All I could do was reassure them that Max was innocent and that this would be over soon. I hoped I was right.
I jerked my head in the direction of the sound I just heard. Max had angrily thrown the newspaper across the room with a deep, frustrated growl. I wasn’t sure what to do or say to help him through this. Though I was a victim too, Max and his company were at stake. The best thing I thought I could do was stay out of the way and pretend everything was fine.
“Sorry, babe.” He looked apologetic. After dragging both of his hands through his hair in frustration, he sat next to me and looked at my computer screen. “What are you working on?”
“I’m getting a head start on our February issue. February is one of my favorite months.”
“Because of Valentine’s Day?”
“No. Well, maybe it will be this time around, since I have you, but it’s the month of the London Fashion Show.”
Max’s eyes were tender, as he began stroking my cheek. “Would you like to go?”
My eyes grew wide with excitement. “Yes, I would love to.”
“I’ll take you there with the company, but we won’t be working,” he winked. “And we don’t have to go to the after party if you don’t want to.”
“Do we have to decide now?”
“No. We still have time.” Max fell into a daze and looked at me with a smile. “I haven’t seen your finger in your mouth. You know how I love to take it out and suck it.”
“Shall I do it for you now?” I flirted.
“I would love to see,” he said in a playful tone. Just as he finished speaking, his cell phone rang. He looked to see who it was. “Give me a sec. It’s my lawyer.” Max stood up and headed toward the window.
It was a clear, sunny day. Looking out, you could see the beauty of the city. When you looked at the whole scene, everything was perfect, so peaceful, in contrast to what was going on in Max’s head. His expression said it all. Looking concerned, he turned to me after the conversation ended. “Babe, I need to meet with my lawyer in his office right now.”
“Okay,” I nodded, trying to stay calm.
“He wants you to come with me.”
I don’t know why lawyers frightened me, just as I don’t know why I worry when I see a cop’s car beside mine when I’m driving. I was a worrier by nature and though I told myself I would remain strong, the fact that the lawyer wanted to see me made me uneasy.
“Thomas,” I shook his hand. He wore a dark gray suit, white dress shirt and a floral tie; lavender mixed with black. “Thomas, this is Jenna. Jenna Mefferd. Jenna, this is Thomas Shaw”
“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Shaw,” Jenna said, taking his hand.
“Please, have a seat.”
Thomas went around the large wooden table while I pulled out a chair for Jenna. She always smiled with appreciation with every small gesture from me. Crossing her legs, she leaned toward me and almost placed her head on my shoulder, but stopped, knowing this was not the right time. I wanted to give her a quick kiss to reassure her that everything was fin
e, but I refrained. Instead, I held her hand and rested it on my thigh.
Thomas opened a file and placed his elbows on the table. He took a glance at Jenna before he started to speak. “I’m going to cut to the chase. We have a good case against her, but things are going to leak out. She is accusing you of sexual harassment, which you already know, but she actually goes into more details.” Thomas cleared his throat, glancing at Jenna again. “A LOT of details.”
Jenna shifted her body, but still kept her hand in mine. Suddenly, I felt acid rise up in my throat. I wanted to know what the “details” were, but I didn’t want Jenna to hear.
“Babe, why don’t you wait in the waiting room? I need a minute with Thomas.”
Jenna nodded and stood up, but stopped when Thomas spoke. “Are you sure you wouldn’t want her to hear it from you, instead of from the outside source? That way you can explain…I mean…tell her what information is true or false. This is going to get out one way or another and it might be best if you two talked it out.”
Jenna turned to me and gave me a questioning look. I didn’t want her to hear what Thomas had to say. I knew it was going to change the way she looked at me, possibly our whole relationship, but I had no choice. He was right. It was better she knew now so she wouldn’t be surprised, like she was when she found out about the lawsuit from Crystal. That was a freakin’ nightmare. “Jenna, have a seat,” I said reluctantly.
After she nodded, she sat back down, but I could see the worried expression behind her faint smile. Instead of leaning into me like before, her back was straight against the chair. Holding her hand again, I prepared myself for what Thomas was about to expose and prayed to God it wouldn’t be as bad as I thought it would be.
Thomas gave me that look that said ‘prepare yourself’ and started speaking. “Crystal is suing you and your company for two million dollars.”
I sank into my chair and tried not to make a sound or any movement to show Jenna how upset I was. What I really wanted to do was throw a chair out the window. Jenna, on the other hand, made a tiny gasping sound.
“She is accusing you of forcing her into sexual activities at work and at home. If she refused, she was told her job was in jeopardy.”
“I did no such thing!” I shouted. Blood rushed to my face as I burned inside with anger.
“Calm down, Max,” Thomas said quickly. “I know you didn’t, but I have to read what you are being accused of, so we can discuss our plan.”
Closing my eyes to calm down, and then opening them again, I agreed with a heavy sigh. If this one accusation got me this angry, I knew the rest would make me explode. I had to settle down for Jenna’s sake. She shuddered when I raised my voice and I didn’t like that I made her feel afraid.
“Max, let him finish,” Jenna said softly. That’s all it took for me to find that peace again. Her smile and her tender, angelic voice automatically made me surrender to her request. She was my anchor, my strength, and I would do anything for her.
“Alright.” I kissed her hand as I held it, and placed it down on my lap again. “Go on, Thomas.”
“It gets worse. She said you mentally and physically tortured her, using whips, handcuffs, other sex toys, and even blindfolding her. She’s claiming you mentally abused her by calling her names, and embarrassing her in front of her co-workers. She alleges she is no longer able to hold down a job, for fear any boss would do the same. She claims you threatened that if she did not comply, not only would she not get a recommendation from the company, and you would make sure she would never be hired anywhere else again.”
“This is absurd. I should sue her for causing me grief,” I shook my head with a small laugh. “Unbelievable. This woman did not think things through. All of this is false.” Almost all. I told Thomas we used sex toys, but they were her idea. She was the one who purchased them. As Thomas continued down his list, I wanted desperately to take Jenna out of the room; I saw the disturbed expression on her face. She had heard enough.
She couldn’t even look at me when I called her name. She looked anywhere else but my eyes. Maybe I was overreacting. I hoped I was, but I was sure I was right. I could read Jenna like a book. That’s how in tune we were. My gut told me things were going to change between us and at that moment, I wanted to hold her in my arms and never let her go.
“I think we’ve had enough for today, Thomas,” I said sternly.
“Max, I just have a couple more.”
Looking at Jenna, she already looked drained from information overload, not to mention the shock of hearing all the cruel things I had supposedly done. Hopefully, she felt like she knew me well enough to know I wouldn’t do those things. I wish I knew what she was thinking. It was driving me insane.
“Thomas, I thank you for doing your job, but I really think you and I should meet again tomorrow. I’m taking Jenna home. She and I need to talk this out.” Without his consent, I stood up and tugged Jenna out of her daze, helping her out of her seat.
“Max,” Thomas started again.
“No, Thomas. I mean it,” I said firmly. If he tried to talk me into staying, it wasn’t going to be a polite conversation. We were already near the door.
“There is something else.”
“What is it?” I huffed, feeling irate.
“I think it’s best if you and Jenna saw less of each other during work hours. Try not to be the source of any rumors. People are bound to talk, and we don’t need anyone making assumptions. The prosecutor will call Jenna to testify. I also need to set a date to meet with Jenna alone to help her get ready. This is my professional opinion as your lawyer. If you want to win this case, these are my suggestions.”
I knew Thomas meant well, but I didn’t like anything he said. What happened next was something I could not have expected or prepared myself for. For the first time, Jenna’s hand slipped away from mine and she walked out the door without waiting for me to open it for her. It felt as though she was saying goodbye. At that moment, a dagger twisted in my heart and all I could do was hope I was misinterpreting her reaction.
Taking my hand away from Max’s hold, I pushed the door and walked through. Max always opened doors for me, but this time, I was in control. It wasn’t that I didn’t want him with me. I was just deep in thought and only wanted to get out of there as fast as I could.
We didn’t talk much during the drive back to my apartment. In fact, it was the first time being around him, he hadn’t made me smile. When we got to the front of my apartment building, two men that looked like secret service stood their ground. They were the men Max had hired to ensure the paparazzi would stay away. With a nod to them, we headed up to my place. As soon as we got to my door, Max stood in front, preventing me from entering.
“Jenna. Talk to me, please” he said softly.
If this were another day, I would have jumped into his arms right then and there. He looked so alluring and tempting, the way he leaned against the door in a natural pose, but I had to remain strong. Smiling, I gazed into those welcoming eyes that looked so sad. “Max, I’m fine. We should do what Mr. Shaw suggested. I can even work from home.”
“Babe….” He leaned into me, but thoughts of what Crystal threatened to tell the whole world made me sick. My poor Max. His reputation and the company his family worked so hard for would crumble, just because of one crazy, vindictive bitch. It wasn’t fair!
When I finally looked at him again, he continued. “Get some rest. I know this is a lot for you to deal with. I didn’t want you to hear all those things about my past with Crystal. I was young and naïve. I certainly didn’t want to give you all this stress. I wouldn’t have brought you into my life if I had known this would—”
“Shhh.” I whispered as I placed my finger on his lips. “It’s okay. I’m stronger than you think.”
Max slipped my finger inside his mouth, teasing it with his tongue. “I’ve wanted to do this for so long, but you haven’t been biting your finger,” he mumbled in between suckling it.
> If he continued, I would have no choice but to surrender and yank him inside with me. My self-control was non-existent around him. Pulling my finger away, I mouthed, “Max.” As tears welled up in my eyes, I gave him a quick peck on the lips and somehow managed to unlock the door.
“We’ll get through this. I love you, Jenna,” he said, turning me around, placing his forehead against mine.
I took a moment to take in his words, the words I only partially believed. What if we couldn’t get through this? I told myself I wouldn’t make a big deal of it, but I couldn’t help it. “Why didn’t you tell me?” My words came out soft, but he could tell how upset I was.
“I was going to tell you about the lawsuit after the New Year’s party. But instead, you ran into Crystal, of all people,” Max sighed heavily.
“Not just that. Why didn’t you tell me about the things you did with her before we met with your attorney? You should have told me.”
“I’m sorry. Yes, you’re right, but I really wasn’t thinking. I was worried about the lawsuit but I still should have spoken to you before I brought you to Thomas. That will never happen again. More importantly, I promise you, I did NOT do all those things Crystal has accused me of. You believe me, don’t you?”
“I want to, but part of me doesn’t.” I could not believe I just told him that. My anger got the best of me, and besides, I was hurting. The look on his face told me I had hurt him too, but I knew that what I was about to say would hurt him even more.
“You told me I could trust you, but yet you kept things from me. It’s because…you…don’t…trust…ME.” I emphasized “me.” “I have some thinking to do. I’ll talk to you later.” The words came out fast. I entered my apartment and shut the door behind me even faster.
Leaning my back against the door, the tears streamed down my face. Everything was happening so fast. So much had happened in the short time we’d been together, that I just needed a minute to de-stress. Max and I would get through this if we truly loved each other. Looking through the peephole, I could see Max’s hands planted on either side of the door and his head was down. I felt his pain, but it couldn’t possibly be the same degree as mine.