by M. Clarke
“I think I got it now,” Becca chuckled, breaking me out of her spell. Then she turned and froze. My lips were a breath away from hers. Remembering how she tasted the night we had sex, I was so tempted to succumb to my desire, but I had to refrain myself. I don’t know how much time had passed, but neither of us spoke as we stared at each other.
Becca’s eyes shifted to my lips and that’s when I almost lost it. I wanted to clear the table with one swipe of my arm, taking her right then and there. I didn’t care who was watching. The thought made me feel guilty. For the first time, it wasn’t just about sex. I was starting to care for Becca in ways I never thought I could again. Tessa’s face appearing in my mind was a sign I wasn’t ready to let her go just yet.
“Would you like some more water?” the waitress asked.
Her interruption felt like she had dumped ice water over my head. It would have been a good idea to help me cool down from this heated feeling.
“Uh…we’re fine,” Becca said, glancing from her glass to mine, noting how filled they were.
Sliding back, I let go of the hold I had on Becca and took some deep breaths. This was harder than I thought it would be. Being just friends was just too difficult. I didn’t know how much longer I could handle it, and I didn’t know how to let Tessa go either.
It had been several days since Max and I last spoke. They were the longest days of my life. I knew the reason for me was my stubbornness, but what was his reason? I did tell him I needed some time to think, but I really didn’t mean it.
Having a relationship was fairly new to me. I’d dated a handful of guys, but it was difficult for me to open up ever since what happened with my ex. Mostly because I had thought he was the one. He told me he loved me. How can you tell someone you love them and then break their heart into pieces? It destroyed my self-esteem and trust in relationships. Even though part of me believed Max, there was also a part of me that couldn’t.
I knew in order to move on with Max, I had to put the past behind me, but the pain was hard to forget. I wanted him to hurt as much as I was hurting. I wanted him to feel my pain. It was the reason my pride wouldn’t let me call him. The Max I knew would’ve called already. Why didn’t he call? Maybe he finally realized I wasn’t experienced enough and needed someone more mature to handle situations like this.
“Ms. Mefferd.”
“Ms. Mefferd,” the voice said a tad louder, breaking me out of my trance.
I peered up at Mr. Shaw. His green eyes looked concerned. He had called me yesterday and asked me to come in after work. “Yes, Mr. Shaw. I’m sorry. What was the question again?”
“Ms. Mefferd, let me stress again. I asked you to come here to get you ready just in case they call you to testify regarding Max’s character. I’m going to fire away with questions and you may not like what I ask or how I ask it, but you must answer them truthfully. You need to be prepared. They will get nasty. Unless we find some miracle witness against Crystal, in the end it will be her word against Max’s. Are you ready?”
“Yes.” I nodded, but I wasn’t. There was something about being in a lawyer’s office that made my pulse race.
“Where did you and Max meet?”
“At Café Express.”
“How long ago?”
“About five months ago.”
“Do you work for his company?”
“Yes.”
“And what do you do there?”
“I work in the publishing department.”
“Isn’t it true that you were promoted from the Customer Relations Department to the Publishing Department?”
“Yes.”
“Was that before or after Maxwell Knight forced you to sleep with him?”
“Excuse me?”
“Was that before or after you slept with him?”
“After, but we were—”
“It was after. So you slept with him with the promise of a bigger and better position?”
“No!” I said loudly. “He didn’t promise anything.”
“He didn’t promise, but he promoted you in exchange for participating in sexual activities with him.”
“That’s not true,” I said aloud again, feeling irate. I knew Mr. Shaw was pressuring me so I could get used to being bombarded like this, but I was fuming inside. I had to learn how to block it out.
“Ms. Mefferd. What kind of car do you drive?”
“A BMW.”
“More specific please.”
“It’s black. The windows are tinted. It has four tires.”
Mr. Shaw’s lips quivered, obviously wanting to laugh, but then he got serious again. “Are you trying to mock my question?”
“No, I wouldn’t. You said to be specific.”
“What model and style?”
“I think it’s a BMW 760.”
“You think? Or you don’t want to say?”
“I just drive the car. I don’t care what kind it is. Why does it matter what kind of car I drive?” I huffed, getting frustrated, and now I had a headache that was getting worse.
“That’s an expensive gift, Ms. Mefferd. The Knight Company maintains the registration, but did you know Ms. Tate received the same gift?”
Blood drained out of my face, and I would swear I was going into shock. I couldn’t speak and I couldn’t move. This newfound information paralyzed me. The fact that Max had given Crystal the same gift was a huge blow. For the first time, I wondered if Max was playing me too, and I hated that this thought even crossed my mind.
“How do you feel?” Mr. Shaw asked with a softer tone. This time his shoulders and his stiffened body relaxed. As for me, I was the opposite.
“Exhausted and frustrated,” I sighed.
“Crystal’s lawyers will come at you fast and hard and even put words in your mouth like how I just did. I know their law firm. They are ruthless and their main goal is to suck every penny they can get from their opposition. This was nothing compared to how they will be. I wanted to give you a taste of what is to come.”
“I didn’t do so well, did I?” After running my fingers through my hair, I massaged my temples.
“Sorry. I know this is difficult, but I need you to come again tomorrow. We don’t have much time. The trial will begin in a few weeks. I’m doing my own investigation, and I have asked Max to give me a list of potential character witnesses. Since you and Max are currently dating, you are probably the most important key to our winning. If you know or hear any information that could be vital for this case, please let me know.”
“Sure, anything I can do to help.” He had no idea Max and I were not currently on speaking terms, and now, knowing he had given Crystal the same car he had given me didn’t make the situation any better. Max probably gave the best to any woman he was in a relationship with. That was the way he was. However, that was the problem. Who is to say I’m not one of the flings he would soon get over, moving on to someone else?
I could tell Jenna was suspicious about Matthew and I, but there was nothing to share. Matthew and I were just friends. He wasn’t ready to move on, and though I would be there for him, I wasn’t going to let him take over my heart or my schedule. Who was I kidding? Every time he would text or call to ask me if I could go out, I would put everything aside and take off.
I guess I was holding onto hope that I could be the one to break through his wall, but at the same time, preparing myself for the worst. I had to remind myself that we were just friends, but I couldn’t help thinking about the night we spent together. The way he kneaded my breasts, the way his hands gripped my ass while he was pumping inside me. That thought alone practically made me climax; he was that good. I could still feel the lingering sensation throughout my veins, making my body infuse with heat.
“Oh shit!” I yelled, slamming on the brakes. Driving while thinking about sex with Matthew was not a good combination. “Sorry.” I raised my hand to the car to the right of me after I almost veered into his lane.
Besides that one hot nig
ht, Matthew and I always had a great time when we were together, sharing our deepest fears and dreams. Actually, he shared and I listened. I still didn’t feel comfortable letting him know all of me, so I did what I do best…I listened.
Looking for Matthew since he’d texted me he was already seated, I walked past the hostess after I’d explained I had a friend waiting for me. As I excitedly searched from table to table, I saw Matthew with his arms around a woman. They looked awfully cozy as they chatted and laughed. He knew I was on my way, so why would he hold her like that?
At that moment, the ache in my heart felt as if he had cheated on me. I told myself I wouldn’t let him get that close, but my own words betrayed me. As I continued to stare, the piercing pain only intensified. Watching him give her a kiss on her cheek disgusted me, and I felt an ugly knot in the pit of my stomach.
I don’t know why I do this to myself. It’s like I get some sick pleasure from feeling pain, being used. Because that is how I felt at this moment. Sure, use Becca when you feel horny or use Becca when you feel lonely. I should have known better. There was no hope. All his words were lies, probably to get me in bed. As hatred boiled through me, I knew I needed to leave before I made a scene.
Knowing I could make a run for it, I turned. If only my legs would have moved faster, Matthew wouldn’t have seen me.
“Becca,” he called, as if it was no big deal.
I had to make a choice, so instead of acting mature and going to his table, I started walking away, hoping he would let me be. Too late, I felt a hand grip my arm. “Becca.”
From the force of his pull, I reluctantly turned. “Hey, where are you going? I’m sitting back there.”
I wanted to say something mean or tell him off, but I couldn’t. I also didn’t let him explain, because what was the point? Even if his explanation was, ‘we’re just friends’, there was something more to this…to us. I realized how much time I had invested in whatever we had, and he would leave me with the broken heart.
I was freakin’ jealous and I wanted to be the one in his arms. If I was hurting this much, it was already too late. I had been in this situation before and it never worked out for me at the end. I knew that from here on out, I could no longer be the friend he needed me to be.
“Matthew, I’m sorry, but you know what? I just got an emergency text from one of my clients and I need to take care of it,” I lied, faking a smile. I was desperately trying to stop my heart from breaking if it was possible. The pitter-patter of my heart was achingly drumming, while shattering into millions of pieces. “I’ll call you later.” As I dashed out of there, tears blocked my vision. It had been a while since I felt this kind of heartache. It was another reminder to stay away.
“How do you like this one?” Nicole asked, holding up a long, strapless dress.
“It’s a nice shade of lavender,” I replied, leaning back in my chair as I watched Becky tilt her head, examining it.
“Do you have other choices?” Kate asked, looking unsure.
Nicole laughed. “Okay, this is like the fifth dress I showed you guys and we can’t seem to come to an agreement. Ladies, go to that rack and pick one out. Meanwhile, you want to see my wedding dress?” Nicole couldn’t contain her excitement. Her smile outshined the room. Then a thought occurred. That was the way a bride should smile and feel about her wedding and the man she was about to marry.
“Go put it on,” I exclaimed, trying my best to hide my own sorrow. I felt dead inside, the way I was moving and feeling. At least being surrounded by my friends and sharing in the excitement of Nicole’s wedding did help.
“Let’s see it on you,” Becky said excitedly.
Nicole headed to the dressing room while we headed toward the rack. Becky and Kate took out several dresses and placed them off to the side. They were holding their own conversation about what they liked and disliked about them, but as for me, I was in my own world as I stared at the dresses without any opinion.
I couldn’t be happier for Nicole. She and Craig had been through the breakups, the heartaches, and now, they were stronger than ever. From Nicole’s point of view, Craig didn’t want the happily ever after, but knowing he might never be with Nicole again, he agreed to move forward. I just hope it will last forever.
As Becky and Kate decided on two dresses, something white caught the corner of my eye. I turned my head to see Nicole standing by the dressing room with the sales clerk. At that moment, my heart skipped a beat as she took my breath away.
Nicole looked absolutely stunning and I couldn’t peel my eyes off of her. Her strapless, A-line dress was simple, with pearls and crystals adorning the waistline. Flowing down her back was a long veil, attached to the matching headband.
Speechless, tears flooded my eyes to see one of my best friends who would soon be a beautiful bride. She would call Craig her own and he would call her, his; and forever they would be united as one. It was a pivotal moment in a person’s life, and I felt blessed to be a part of it.
There was a little ache in my heart as I thought about Max. I often thought about our future and the type of dress I would wear. It was foolish of me to think so far ahead when I wanted to slow things down, but a girl can dream.
“Oh, Nicole,” Kate squealed. “You look absolutely gorgeous.” She clasped her hands as her eyes glistened with tears, standing there admiring the bride to be.
“Wow,” Becky said softy. “I’ll marry you right now.” We all laughed. “Wait ‘til Craig sees you walk down the aisle. He’ll want to drop his pants for you right there and then. I wouldn’t be surprised if he ripped that dress off you before the night ends.”
“You really think so?” Nicole giggled. “I mean not about Craig wanting to rip my dress off, but do you think this dress is the one?”
“It’s perfect,” I said, and it was perfect on her, but more so, because it was the same style I would wear.
“Let me try on a few others I had in mind. Did you pick the bridesmaid dresses you want to try on?”
Becky held up a couple of them. “I guess we can try these.”
After we did a mini fashion show, Nicole finally decided on one of them and we all agreed. Then we decided to grab some dinner.
We went to a nearby restaurant that seemed less crowded, but in Pasadena, every restaurant was busy. Ordering dinner went pretty fast for a Friday night, but getting our dinner was a whole different story.
“Jenna, you’ve been checking your phone every minute. What’s going on?” Nicole asked. Her face filled with concern.
Sliding my phone back into my purse, I gave a fake smile. “Nothing. It’s work.”
“You’ve never said that before,” Kate said. “We know when something is wrong. You’re not good at hiding things.”
“Something’s wrong in paradise. What happened?” Nicole asked as everyone leaned closer.
“It’s my fault. I told Max I needed time, but I really didn’t mean it. I was upset,” I explained. I told them about the lawsuit and everything that happened at Stellars and since then.
“Jenna,” Becky started to say. “You can’t allow his past to get in the way of the future. Sometimes falling in love means letting go of the past. His past is the past. It’s not as if he had sex with every female at his company. For Christ’s sake, he was just being a typical horny male with no ties to a relationship. There is nothing wrong with that. He completely adores you and I know with every fiber of my being, he wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, not on purpose.”
“I know,” I sighed. “It’s just—”
“He withheld information from you when it should have come from him,” Kate interrupted. “I understand.”
“I see what you’re doing,” Nicole blurted. “You’re playing games. He pissed you off and now you’re punishing him, but it looks like you’re punishing yourself too. Go tell him you’ll take him back and just withhold sex. That’s what I do.” Nicole snorted. “Believe me, it works every time.”
“I didn’t think
of that.”
“Of course you didn’t,” Kate stated. “But at the same time, I bet you’re making him miserable. He’s probably thinking all sorts of nonsense, like you’re thinking right now. I don’t know why we tend to act childish when it comes to relationships. At least when you’re married, you’re stuck in one house and forced to communicate; but when you’re not, you could drag out this unnecessary misery way too long.”
“And don’t let that what’s-her-face come between you and Max. This is exactly what she wants. I’m sure she did her homework on you and Max. And if I’m right about her, I bet she’s done this to other men,” Becky commented.
“Max has got to find a way to get out of this. If he goes to court, it will ruin his reputation, along with his company. Even if he’s proven innocent, the damage will have already been done. Going to court pretty much means there is enough evidence against him. People will judge him and draw their own conclusions.” Nicole shook her head, looking glum. “I feel bad for him.”
Sometimes anger, hurt, and pride get in the way of a person’s mind, preventing them from behaving rationally. It was great to have wonderful friends who cared enough for me to tell me what I needed to hear, not what I wanted to hear. I knew I was acting immature about this, but to hear it from my best friends only confirmed it.
Becky’s last words before dinner stuck with me. “I bet she did this to other men.” Then I recalled the conversation I heard in the break room, when those two women mentioned that there was a rumor that it wasn’t her first time. I needed to speak to one of them.
It had been a week since I last saw Max. I thought for sure he would have come after me by now. I had to go see him right now.
“Ms. Mefferd, what are your thoughts?”
Flashing my eyes in the direction of the voice, I realized I had been in a daze. “Um…” Thank goodness, Matthew stepped in.
“Ms. Mefferd, we are voting on the color of the dress that will go on the front cover. Do you like the lavender or the white?”